Food / Eating Kielbasa - how do you cook yours? [119]

polish sausage is repellent in all aspects and it doesn't make any difference how you cook it (but grilled is the least unpleasant) (although still horrible)

sorry. can't help being english ; )

Life / Importance of Religion in Poland [187]


never in my life have i encountered such blind hypocrisy as i have in Poland. they don't seem to understand, eg, that if you are Catholic YOU DON'T DO ABORTION. ????

they all go and pray and kneel, etc, then go home and have abortions.
am not joking.
or talk about how children (who are running around, delightful children) should have been aborted but got lucky. (while conceived within stable marriages)

wtf?

sorry, but am not being nice now. am being direct and Polish about this. it is utter bollocks. who can say it isn't??

Food / Eating Kielbasa - how do you cook yours? [119]

no, am sorry, but one can also use 'repellent' to mean 'something which has the property of repelling' - in the case of Polish sausage, repelling me (rather than mosquitoes). i think there are several quotations from Oscar Wilde where he uses it thus - am pretty sure there are at least two in 'Importance ...'.

i am extremely english, i can assure you.

have a natural aversion to pigs' noses and balls made into sausages and frozen and then unwrapped and given to me ...

Food / Eating Kielbasa - how do you cook yours? [119]


not sure what use of caps has to do with nationality?? : )

i simply prefer going naked on such forums. no capital letters. not even for proper nouns. feels risky and exhilirating. you see, i am extremely english. such things excite me. like polish sausage. in the right context. ; )

seriously, you Poles (ok, had to do that to distinguish you from long sticks) - are these sausages frequently used as sex toys?

Love / All the good Polish men for dating are taken? [111]


all desirable Polish men are married, or taken such that they will soon be married.
even bald, toothless, women-beating alcoholics are married.
in fact, every Polish male is married, and usually by the age of 21.

no, seriously. Polki know what's what. there is a terrific fight for bagging yr man and setting up your family, early on. it's like rushing to get a partner in a gym lesson.

there are, of course, exceptions - free thinkers - rebels. they quite often end up in the UK, but are usually snapped up by any men-less Polki here.

so, if you are not a Polish woman, but you want a Polish man, you really have a very limited field of play. your best bet is the curious maverick who has refused to join the masses, but there really aren't many of them. they tend to be v much worth it, though. rare gems. but i am biased.

Love / All the good Polish men for dating are taken? [111]


?? I was talking about men, so don't know who 'she' is.


yes, of course, that one example means the entire Polish population do the same ...

i don't know if you guys know what irony/joking/etc is?? Obviously i don't think every Polish man gets married at 21!

BUT
there is a hugely strong tradition of marrying relatively young in Poland. It DID used to be (and not so long ago - and still v much so in some areas/social groups) that people were expected to


for several decades in the UK, this has not been what you do - the trend has been to 'have a life' and then worry about having no family in your mid to late thirties, panic, and marry anything that comes along, and spend your 40s trying to make up for lost time.

I repeat the word 'trend'. am not talking about individuals. am talking about general movements. And I stand by the assertion that if you take 1000 UK guys aged 25, and 1000 Polish guys, significantly more of the Poles will be married. Yes, the culture is changing, but it is still going strong.

And by the way, anything I say about Polish women is meant playfully.

Love / Need Advice: I have fallen in love with a Polish woman... [65]


my God thank you for that - you are so right - that is what i have been doing wrong (and what has been driving me crazy!) ...

i also am involved in a complicated relationships where everyone has baggage and someone lied through their teeth quite a bit, so I can relate to the poster's predicament.

the thing he should remember is: Polish women very rarely, if ever, do anything that would jeopardise their financial/general security, and that of their children. They do, on the other hand, frequently do whatever is necessary to improve their position, in the quickest and most direct way to hand.

Po prostu, they do things differently to Brits, so if poster is a Brit, he should watch out ...

Language / I teach English to some Polish people - how to explain them tenses? [33]


Sorry, but are we talking about the same 'English' here?! Our perception, and hence verbalization, of time is one of the most difficult things for foreign learners, and especially for Poles ... we have (arguably):

present simple / continuous
past simple / continuous
present perfect simple / continuous
past perfect simple / continuous
five ways of referring to future time (future with 'will', present simple for timetables, present continuous for arrangements, 'going to' for plans)
future perfect simple/continuous
future continuous
genuine conditionals (would, etc.)
modal verbs
subjunctives (effectively)

and all the above also active and passive ...

? How is that easy, and in what way do we have relatively few tenses? We have more tenses that a lot of languages, and make distinctions of time/perspective that other languages don't (which is the difficulty in explaining/learning).

Ok ... sorry ... small rant over ... but just don't want you to think our tense system is 'easy', as it is (notoriously) not so.

As for how to explain the present perfect ; ) ... think of the actual words you use.

I have been.

ie, I possess that action. It is mine. I present it to you. The significance of it is that I own it - I have experienced it. And I am still here, holding it, showing it to you.

Try to feel what it really means. Then it will be easier to communicate.

Love / 'Battered husbands' - still a taboo subject in Poland [387]


sounds like a good idea to me, although i guess she probably gets battered a bit more when the police have gone, as punishment for calling them ...

i didn't know the police in Poland actually consider wife-beating a crime.

Love / Do Polish men make good husbands? [106]

The obvious answer is that it depends on the individual, but actually it depends on how the individual reacts to the culture in which they are brought up ... which in this case, shapes men to be quite difficult for a woman from a more 'emancipated' culture.

Men are men, women are women. Quite refreshing for those of us from cultures where we were all supposed to be 'the same', and quite sexy in a way, but also means that if you aren't making the guy open sandwiches with ham, gherkins and egg mayo for his bedtime snack every night, then you are a bad woman ... all Polish men, however intelligent and well-educated, expect you to be the perfect 1950s housewife, as well as being cool, different, free-thinking and incredibly sweet and nice. I am ok with most of that, but have had to work on the 1950s housewife bit ; ) ... but I just pretend to be the mother from Bewitched, and it works ok. Oh, and there is also absolutely no being in the tiniest bit fat. Ever. Just not permitted.

Seriously, it will take you years to understand what standard you are being held up to. You will at some point probably feel outraged that such things are expected of you. You will probably also rebel in one way or another. And then, maybe, for the sake of the children you will probably have had by then, you might just start making the open sandwiches. If you really get into it, you will cut the tomatoes into little crown shapes as well ... and in return, you will have a deeply protective, jealous, proud, demanding, energetic, frustrating, stubborn, emotional, funny and generally alive sort of husband, who is most likely also very warm physically, and somehow strangely forgiveable, despite all his massive faults. You will have a Pole.

Love / Do Polish men make good husbands? [106]


You got it.
The family will at first be very nice to you, in the wary way a group of natives might circle a missionary and seem almost friendly.

But believe me, before long you will be soup in the pot, over the campfire, and most likely scalped beforehand.

Polish women in particular are very very very jealous of their men - even, eg, if their brother-in-law marries or is with a non-Polish woman.

And remember that to Polish women, anything you do that is in the tiniest bit different to them will be seen as outrageous behaviour. Not to be tolerated. And they will want to rescue their own from your evil (or inept) clutches.

There will be a turning point, when they will start talking to him about you, or criticising you openly, when he is there, but you aren't. Then they will start saying things like 'well, if you aren't happy with her, life is too short' (most likely after you and him have had an argument caused by their meddling).

Yep. That's the way it goes. Polish husbands are expensive, emotionally speaking. But can be worth it.

Love / How do I make a Polish girl cry? [107]

They usually need medication in order to cry. Try 90% proof.

Language / How hard is it to learn Polish? [178]

How hard is it to learn Polish?

Depends how good you are at learning any language.

Polish is a hell of a lot easier to pronounce than French, for the English tongue.
If you've ever learnt Latin, or German, or Greek, then the grammar isn't a problem, although the array of variables and just sheer volume of forms to learn can be a bit daunting.

It is a language that I think you'll never get tired of.

So, if you're bad at listening, not so musical, and not very mathematical, then it will be very hard to learn.
If you're kind of middling at all the above, it will be a challenge, but you'll struggle on and get somewhere.
And if you have the lucky gift of being able to soak up new languages like a sponge, then you'll love Polish. And it won't be any harder or easier than any other language.

Love / English Men vs Polish Men [207]

Polish men are more real than English men. They are more in touch with who they are. They are more open emotionally. They are stronger. They have a stronger and more confident (totally confident, usually) vision of what it is to be a man, and what to be a woman. This comes with the baggage of what might be construed as sexist tendencies by a liberal English girl, but a lot of that liberality is nonsense, and only ends in tears.

Polish men are like Yorkshire men. They are Northerners rather than Southerners. Sorry to say that, and no offence meant, but there is quite a range of men in the UK, whereas there are only two or three types in Poland, and all of them the same in some ways.

English men are generally either a bit mean, or a bit pathetic. Quite a lot of them aren't quite sure how they are allowed to be a man nowadays. Poles don't have any such issues. And they are great fun.

But I must say that it isn't the fault of English men ... it is the fault of our dithering, eminently reasonable, totally permissive society ... we have gone a long way to emasculating our men. They tend generally to have a great time with Poles, and feel a lot better about themselves - English men are happier in a 'real man' environment, eg, with Poles.

As for the best guy to be with ... your Pole probably won't wash up that much, most likely really never ever will wash and iron, but he will hug you all night and make you feel alive. And make you laugh. Not far off perfect.

Love / Do Irish / British guys like Polish girls? [138]

British men adore Polish women. They generally like all foreign women, but are generally particularly partial to Central/Eastern European women, so I'm sure you will have lots of offers.

You just need to go down the pub, have an orange juice and wait. Soon someone will come and talk to you.

And/or get some English friends and go to a few barbecues (the season approaches) - you will soon have several lurching drunken English guys being very nice to you and making you cups of tea.

It sounds like I'm joking, but I'm not. I'm English. I should know.

I, on the other hand, have chosen the hard route of a Polish man ... no cups of tea there (because I don't drink tea according to the rules, so I am not allowed it ...).

English guys are nice. They will love you. They will try to dig the garden and light the bbq. They might spend too long at the pub, but they won't do anything bad. They will never hurt you. They will appreciate you. They will remember your birthday. Try one.

Love / Do Irish / British guys like Polish girls? [138]


I know I am taking this out of context, but it seems a bit unkind, warszawa-angole. Sounds like vocabulary with which you are both comfortable and familiar.


Quite right. I don't understand W-A's point really.

Ok, about fatness:
Yes, if you are fat and unattractive, you really really won't get lots of Polish guys around you - they, probably sensibly, know themselves, and know that if they took up with a porker, they would soon be laying into her everyday (verbally at least) about how she is a tlusta suka, and giving her the nickname grubasie. So better that they don't hook up with here in the first place.

English guys, on the other hand, are a lot more ... what shall we call it ... accepting (I know, a generalisation, but in Poland it is de rigeur that one is NOT FAT)(at all).

And about Polish v. English guys chatting people up:
Polish guys usually only chat up when they are quite prepared to go and immediately have sex with someone.
English guys will chat anyone up, just out of general good humour.


By far the best advice.
Yorkshire men: real.
Southern men: jelopy.

I have not once observed a similarity between Polish guys and Yorkshire guys. A positive comparison. I have even thought that my liking for Polish guys comes from having had a Yorkshire father.

So: if you want a British boyfriend, because Polish guys don't want you (sorry, but that's the crux of it with them: if they wanted you, they would pursue you) - then all manner of British guys will be up for it. If you want warm, real men types, then go to Yorkshire. In London you will get pale-faced thin guys who cycle too much, and every other nationality you can think of (might be hard to find an Englander ...). In general, though, it will be easier than with Poles, because there must be something about you that doesn't work for them (they are not usually backwards in coming forward, shall we say).

Brits ARE generally more accepting than Polish guys, I think ... so good luck. You won't need it. It will be easy.

Love / Prevention of child abduction by Polish mother. [232]

OK ... the first thing you have to do is: forget ALL of your (our) English understanding of children's rights, rights of the father, right of the child to have contact with the father, the father's family (grandparents, for example), etc. etc. etc.

This is a different ball game now, and I think what you probably really need from this site is some setting out of the rules so you know at least what game you are trying to play. (I know: English response: 'But it is not a game ... I want to be utterly fair ... this is my child's life ... but I also respect the mother's right to a happy life ... I just want my child to have access to the loving support of both sides of her family ...' - FORGET IT - that will not wash here - that will just been seen as weakness on your part ... more of which later.)

It is a different ball game, and frankly it is hard-ball now.

Point no. 1: Poland is a matriarchal society. Don't even think of underestimating what that means.

Point no. 2: Following on, what the lady wants, the lady either gets the easy way, or the hard way, but she ALWAYS gets it. (trust me ... I have been an undercover anthropologist surviving on berries in this Polish-English jungle for some years now ...)

3: Do not even begin to expect any kind of decency, or 'normal' reactions from your Polish baby-mama. I can tell you now what she is saying and planning:

- You are either a waste of space, or a bastard, or both. She may elaborate on this with tales of beating, etc. - I don't know - maybe you ARE a bastard - you haven't said why you aren't together - but I imagine it was more along the lines of you loved her, she appeared to love you, she had the baby, she ditched you for no solid reason ...

- The only sensible thing that a self-respecting mother could do would be to make her own way in life.
- She doesn't want or need your help, thank you very much. She has a lovely baby, and her life planned out. Back to Poland. Back to her family. A new guy (or an old one resurfaced.) No you. Ever.

The clans will gather around her. Beaux will surface (if one hasn't already - I very much doubt she sleeps alone). The baby will be at the heart of the family. Her new accessory. She will parade proudly and show off her mothering skills. Everyone will say what a beautiful baby. Nobody will EVER mention you, apart from when she signals the ok to lay into you - in which case, you will be reviled for one reason or another, and the great sensibleness of having got rid of you be vaunted.

4. Nobody will EVER even suggest, let alone think, that the baby lacks anything in its life by not having you there. The baby came from the woman. It is her possession. In her arms. You are entirely superfluous to requirements now.

I am really sorry to say all this. It is so hard for us to understand and accept. And of course, you don't and shouldn't accept it, and you must challenge it and must use all the rigours of the law to make sure that you have a place in your child's life. You sound a decent guy, and I am sure you will be sensitive to the child's happiness, and not forcing the issue ... but if you honestly haven't done anything horrible or antisocial to cause the break up, and it's just that she doesn't want you, then of course she has no right to speak for your child as well.

It sounds like you are doing the best thing. And I think the sanest way to go about it is to try not to engage emotionally (well, obviously very hard not to, but you will achieve more, and lose less years off your life, if you try to focus and be calm - in the way, I am sure, she is being). You need to get the DNA test. You need to establish paternity, and have it on a piece of paper. You need then simply to go to court and apply for access to your child. You will get it, without doubt. If she goes to Poland, go as well. Get it through the courts in Poland. Do NOT let her take your child away from its father.

Of course, it's always better to agree out of court - but trust me, if the roles were even a tiny bit reversed, she would be down the court like lightning. She will have absolute conviction that she is in the right - remember that. That is why I say you can't even begin to engage with this emotionally, because you will be breathless with outrage before you've even started.

Plod calmly and unemotionally through the courts. It will cost. Time, money and stress. But you will get there. I really don't think she should be allowed to get away with this.

And be very careful that you don't do anything, or give anyone any information, that could be used against you. You can't really trust any mutual friends. They will swear blind not to tell, etc etc, and then will be texting her in the loo while still at your house. Trust me also on this. It is that bad.

My wider theory is that this and other behaviours have a significant root in the pressure of living in times of war. Neighbour sells neighbour. Everything is weighed up in terms of the bottom line. Action is decisive. There is no regret, and no conscience.

Very best of luck to you. This is why we have courts. Use them.

ps
Oh, and about niceness being weakness ...

The strongest wins. The strongest is the one who uses everything to their advantage, who hits below the belt without hesitancy, and who sleeps well at night, in the comfortable conviction of their absolute right.

You feel you should rise to the challenge, and be the best of yourself. The English way to do this is to be particularly understanding, fair, and forgiving. It is to give the benefit of the doubt. It is - and I am not a practiser of any religion, by the way - but it is a genuinely Christian approach.

This will be seen by her as laughable weakness, and an open invitation to trample even more firmly over your requests and propositions.

So don't be upset by that. It's just the way it is.

Love / Prevention of child abduction by Polish mother. [232]


Yes to the saving face. Face is very important. (Another branch of this is the 'never say sorry/thank you' doctrine which is practised by many - absolutely extraordinary - but that is another post ...).

The Polish grandmas: they are very very quick to turn. They will have been highly suspicious at the outset, of the taking of a foreign man. They will feel much more comfortable now that he is out of the way.

But ... I am not saying that the woman wanted this from the beginning. If so, why go for the English guy? No, I am not saying that this was some 'plot', planned and executed. Not at all. The romance and, to some degree, glamour of dating an English guy (is 'glamour' too strong a word?!) (the novelty value, then) ... all of that I would imagine definitely played a part. And maybe she enjoyed someone being so nice to her, and so easy to manipulate, for a while. But there came a point where this role-play just didn't work for her, and she couldn't be doing with it. And it is at this moment that he became nothing, and she just carried on regardless.

Do I feel sorry for her? No, and I doubt she feels sorry for herself. There is nothing to feel sorry for. She is ok. She is extraordinarily tough by British terms, but actually she is just a normal Polish gal getting on with it.


I'm afraid I think the possibility I have painted is most likely the norm, even if seemingly extreme ...


You're welcome, although I am very sorry for you that it is like that.


Thank you, too. I try. Well, in fact, I don't try: it all just comes out of my mouth. Can you even begin to imagine the havoc I cause among Polish society ... ; )

Oh and just have to comment on this:


(ran out of time)


This is such a subject ... vast ... and yes, a minefield ... and so difficult for a 'man' to comment, given the nature of the subject ... (an aside: don't you think there should be a mechanism whereby people could write papers, have their voice, etc, without declaring their sex?) ... (that would be true equality ; ) ... but:

The point about Polish women is that they have, in general, had a very different programming re: what a woman is. The US/Western machine turns us out as victims before we've even started, whereas the Polish system (propulgated by grandmas over many a cup of crazily strong coffee) produces women equally convinced of their rightness, but through bullishness and being the dominant one. Taking no prisoners. Western women take prisoners and then feel bad about it and aren't quite sure what to do - make the prisoner a cup of tea - give him a blowjob - and then call the Police ...

That is why I have always refused to label myself a woman. I realised from my teenage years that the term had very mixed connotations. I am simply myself. : )

Love / Prevention of child abduction by Polish mother. [232]

I would tell you, but no, not at all (although an amusing idea).

No. Yes, I am with a Polish guy. I have a child with him. He has other children as well.

The emotional heart/motivation for my comments is more, probably, my own astonishment at the Polish female character, as I continually observe it ... so I guess it struck a chord, and I felt a bit (a lot) sorry for the father posting here. And I am rather keen on the proper recognition of fathers, whatever their nationality. And I don't like the busy bossiness of some Polish mothers (sorry to all you perfectly nice ones out there!) ...

Love / Prevention of child abduction by Polish mother. [232]


It is not disdain, but rather an awareness of a cultural difference that I think it would be useful if the poster were wise to. My English mother, had the father done nothing wrong, would counsel kindness, understanding, and, without even a question, reasonable access to the child and sharing of responsibilities. The Polish matriarchal clan (and that is why I mentioned the matriarchal element first) works on the unquestionable principle that men are generally superfluous to requirements, in all the key areas, and certainly when it comes to decision-making, and children. Men are looked after like children. Men are a responsibility in themselves. A woman cooks, washes and irons for the man and children. The deal is that the man goes out early, earns as much as he can, comes home for his dinner, (if he is appreciative of it, that's a bonus), and then rests, ready for the next day's work. On a Saturday he might have a few drinks, but better to keep him on a short rein and not let it get out of hand, because drunken men can be aggressive, and alcoholics don't generally earn as well as sober men.

And my feeling about the gathering of the female clan about the mother is that they were already only tolerating the relationship through willing (more or less) suspension of disbelief that it would work. So when it didn't work, the assumption that the child was the mother's property - almost booty from the relationship - would have been absolute.

It is this presumption of 'possession', and lack of any respect for the potential value of the father's role in the child's life, let alone any right either child or father might have to that relationship, that is at issue here. I think that is typical of the dominant-matriarch society. I wanted the poster to be aware of this, so he could steel himself and not get upset about it, but also not waste time thinking he could depend on some sort of moral fairness that just doesn't exist here. He needs to know what the rules are, and they are different to what he would generally find with a British woman ... I think.


Maybe it isn't - BUT, in that decision, there should be consideration for maintenance/development of the child's relationship with his or her father. That is what this question is all about.

Love / 6 months with my Polish girlfriend and I still don't understand her.. [208]


Polish women are generally fairly focused and self-sufficient. They have been brought up not to moan/sob/lay all their emotions at your feet and wait for you to scoop them up in your arms, dry their tears, tell them how lovely they are and that it will all be OK. I have seen families where if a child falls over and hurts itself, instead of being comforted, the child is smacked (while still wailing/bleeding/whatever) for having not taken care - having run too fast, having not looked out - and therefore having hurt itself. (I also have Polish friends who are horrified at this approach, but just to say, it is one common approach you will find - and that treatment of a child makes for pretty hard adults, I can tell you.).

If she is telling her friends she is happy, and if she is still with you, then stop worrying, and stop bothering her to tell you 'what she wants'. What does she want? Someone to love her, appreciate her, be with her, have sex with her, have fun with her, build a life with her, and occasionally honour her with, for example, a nice birthday present. You don't need to micro-manage her emotions - she will do this for herself, in private.

She is a very very different kettle of fish to us nitwits who were positively encouraged to say how we feel and be 110% honest at all times ... and that is something of the appeal for a lot of guys, I'd guess. That and the great bodies that most Polish women have.

The real gem is, of course, a woman like a couple of my Polish friends - one with a fine intelligence, warmth of heart, and balanced approach to life, along with a very light touch, and practically zero requirements in terms of emotional maintenance. She will tell you if she has a problem, and she will be hugely affectionate and share everything with you. And also get back her washer-board stomach within 3 days of giving birth. But that is the Holy Grail ... ; )

[And now I sound like I am discussing the characteristics of dog breeds, so I will stop] [Especially since if I run with that, the British women come out as tired spaniels on special offer ...]

Love / Polish women are the most beautiful in the world! [1718]

Polish women are genetically advantaged, BUT ... they are also taught how to be beautiful, by their mothers.

My four-year-old will not, for example, leave the house without matching shoes, gloves, and sunglasses. She is on her way to maximising those Polish genes of hers. Hurray!

And I also remind her that princesses always smile.

Love / Polish women are the most beautiful in the world! [1718]


Well then I guess I should be happy that when I lived in Poland, everyone thought I was Polish ; )

Life / Why is circumcision not practiced in Poland? [701]


Is this some sort of a joke?

As a normal female, intact as I was when I came out of the womb, I would (as would most of the world) be horrified at the idea that anyone should 'rearrange' my genitals.

So why, please tell me why, should it be ok to chop off someone's foreskin?

The foreskin is there for several good reasons. It has a job to do, as does everything Nature provided. And given that reproduction is our primary drive, and the male organ the primary deliverer of this function ... do you honestly think Nature would have got it wrong??????

Bollocks (excuse the oblique pun) to all this nonsense about 'cleanliness' and 'disease'. I am obviously not a guy, but I understand that if one practises basic, simple hygiene procedures in the shower, it is more than possible to keep your dick clean. ! Suffice to say I have intimate knowledge of an uncircumcised male who is perhaps the cleanest person on the planet. The phrase 'you could eat your dinner of it' comes to mind.

It is a monstrous idea, cutting off the foreskin. OK, if someone has a problem, it is too tight, it hurts them ... ok. That is medical. But as a matter of culture and principle? Maybe, eons ago, when tribes lived in water-less regions, but even then ... sorry. I think it is barbaric. The mechanism of the foreskin is a thing of wonder to behold. Why oh why would anyone even think of messing with that?????

UK, Ireland / My dream about UK. Please help. [86]


Just to warn you - that single comment, although aimed at friend-recruitment, will put some women off ... because you sound like you are on the look-out, and it wouldn't be wise to take such a woman into one's house. (I wouldn't take me, if I were on the look-out ...)

Be careful about that. Living in someone's house might seem like a straightforward thing, but it often isn't. Even a 'nice' family can turn out to be a nightmare. And if you add the element of jealousy into the mix, well ... you might need to hide the knives at night.

Love / Polish women are the most beautiful in the world! [1718]

Yes, Poles are extraordinarily mean about British women, and generalise in a way that one can't, really, in such a mixed society. What everybody avoids saying, of course, is that broadly speaking, the issues of obesity, looking bad, etc, are attached to class bands. There are some very rough people in the UK, and they are usually either painfully thin, or monstrously fat and ill-kempt. If you look at the girls in Oxford, where I am, you will see a hoard of rough ones, fat spilling over jeans, hair greasy and pulled back, dressed exclusively at Primark, and then you will also see a host of slim beauties from a different class of parent.

We all give this blanket verdict that Polish girls are beautiful, but I have also seem some very rough-looking Polish buggers. An insistence on too much make-up, hairstyles verging on the crazy (and certainly cruelty to the supposedly - or previously - living thing that was their hair), and kitted out in white and pink Nike and Adidas. And a mean look on their faces. And I have also seen plump Polish girls.

So: I would say there is a certain type of Polish beauty which is very appealing, and that in general, the population is more similar, and there are many more of a normal weight. English, Welsh, Irish and Scottish girls - all very different in themselves. English girls seem to come off worst, because there is a wider range of types, and a vast, and growing, group of badly-dressed, over weight. And that is to do with their upbringing, not their genes. And then we get on to a different debate.

There are more mongrels in the UK, though. Poland does have purer racial lines. So I guess that is also what people sense, but don't want to say, as it sounds bad, somehow. Well, no more bad than saying all English girls are fat and monstrous. If so, why are so many Polish guys with English women? Because they are ... generally nicer? ; ) Shall I generalise that there are lots of very hard, ambitious, self-serving, b**chy Polish women? No, because it wouldn't be fair. I know some wonderful Polish women, and I know some absolute cows. And it has to be said that however 'beautiful' someone is, when they behave badly, they look bad.

UK, Ireland / My dream about UK. Please help. [86]


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I'm sorry ... but I guess you really don't understand, at all. I am coming from the position of a mother with a young daughter, and I took your first post seriously, but I'm afraid to say that reading what you go on to say, there are things that put me off.

I will try to give you more clear advice:

- If you want someone to have you to live in their house and look after their children, and for you to be a part of the family, and for you to improve your language, then you need to be thinking about the deal in terms as much about what you bring, as what you take. What I meant about the 'men' comments was that if I thought you were coming over as an available female, coming to live in my house with me and my husband, I would not like the idea of it. That is not me being insecure: that is a normal, and fairly sensible, female reaction. So all I meant was, that by putting yourself out there, you are putting off us potential female employers.

- By 'nightmare' I was obviously being too subtle. I didn't mean that the family would be a nightmare. I meant that a situation where the wife was annoyed and you were flirting with the husband would be a nightmare.

- Your changeability is also something not really great in terms of someone offering you a job/home.

In conclusion, the things you are saying here could be putting people off helping you. OK, so you might want Southern to show you the sights of London, but he isn't going to put you up (well, not for more than a night or so ; ) and pay you and give you what you said you wanted. To get offers from that 'nice' family you want, you might have to think a bit more about how you present yourself.

To be honest, it sounds to me like you just want a base from which to explore London, and life. Which is totally understandable. But then don't try to live with a family. Because you won't like it.

To get a room you will need as someone said, probably min. £400 pcm, and £400-800 deposit. Your best bet would be to get to know some Poles already in London, and they will for sure find you a room. You will then need to earn min. £1,000 a month or so to live, including paying your rent. You should bring min. £2,000 with you from Poland, I think, which will give you a month to find a job.

Love / Polish women are the most beautiful in the world! [1718]


? Did I say I was half-Polish? I am not Polish at all. I am a Yorkshire/Welsh/East London/Scottish/French cross, like any self-respecting mongrel. I just got the Zeta-Jones cheekbones from Wales, and a pair of pretty nice green eyes from the rest.

Yes, as I said, there are some really rough-looking Polish women ... generally the ones on the street rather than the ones in these photos people post here ...

UK, Ireland / My dream about UK. Please help. [86]


Yep.

You're already too sensitive about this, Noreen. And I have a great sense of humour, but was trying to give you the practical advice you need. So:

Either
Stay with friends while you find your feet and a job
Or
Get a job to go to.

You are currently throwing out your hopes and dreams like a bit of a damsel in distress, and hoping someone will come to your aid. Somebody might - I hope they do - it is the kind of site where someone might take you under their wing.

UK, Ireland / My dream about UK. Please help. [86]


The Oxford PWN English-Polish Polish-English Dictionary has it, so don't be so certain unless you are ... it translates as 'dama w opalach'.

I have not anywhere tried to be mean or to criticise. I simply thought that you needed to be realistic about how you approach this. Great that you have some job offers. When you get there, hope it goes well.

I would still say, however, that if you live in someone's house, think a little bit about how you interact with the family, because it could be very uncomfortable/unpleasant for you if you don't get on, or, if as is more likely, you make waves that you aren't aware of making. Nobody will be quicker out of the door than someone who upsets a family's equilibrium. I am not in any way saying that you will, but you asked for advice, and whilst you have had lots of jolly comments from guys on here, I am telling you what I think it would be useful for you to know. Advice is not always what you want to hear, but hopefully it might help you. And what I said about being 'sensitive' is just that I have had experience from both sides - living with a family, and having people live with us - and I know that if you want to have a happy time there, and stay for as long as you want, then you will need to be a bit careful about what you share, and how you are. That is all. Don't be offended by that. It is not personal. I don't know you at all. I am just trying to help, as well.