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"A merciful heart can share its bread with the hungry and welcome refugees and migrants" Pope Francis [89]
I have a confession to make:
As part of the Popish cabal I have access to the Vatican network. I unwittingly intercepted a dispatch early last Wednesday morning entitled "Address to the Mordorian Youth." As I read the dispatch it became clear that what I was reading wasn't a critique of Tolkien's masterpiece by some Vatican backbencher, but a prepared speech to be delivered by The Man in White himself.
As I continued reading it became clear that the address could either be a clarion call for angelic West or have major repercussions for world peace and stability. This address could be like dropping a neutron bomb over Mordor, and knowing Sauron's lack of moral rectitude and disregard for all things non-Mordorian, the response could be cataclysmic. The prospective harm was too much a gamble.
After 3 minutes and 27 seconds of agonizing over this moral tug-of-war, I decided to do something.
So, I passed it on to Bobko to edit the address. It is Bobko's edition that has become world news.
You see the dispatch I intercepted was the official speech Pope Francis was to give to the Russian youth.
I see now I've harmed fragile Catholics and Mordorian-haters.
To assuage this offense, I give you the original address Pope Francis was to give the Russian youth:
You despicable young Orcs of murderous RuSSia, the inferior RuSSia--den of sinners, thieves, and serpents. This loathsome wasteland of bankrupt and repulsive culture and reprehensible Orcanity. Throw away your murderous ways, renounce your ignominious history of treachery. Admit you are execrable and deplorable--heirs of wretchedness. Admit you are irredeemable and unworthy to exist in the City of Mankind. Recoil and beg for our mercy. Scum!So, ultimately, I am the prick (with Bobko's aid), not Pope Francis.
