I'm planning to ask for my girlfriend's hand in marriage...but first I wish to ask for her father's blessing. Only hitch is that he doesn't speak a word of English and I'm at 'idiot-beginner' stage of learning Polish. So can anyone help translate the below for me? I'll attempt to pronounce it all and failing that hand him a written note :)
I wish to ask him "I love Kasia very much and tomorrow I would like to ask for her hand in marriage. Clearly you care for her greatly too and so I very much hope that you will approve. Please let me know that my proposal will be with your blessing" or words to that effect.
It sounds a little clumsy but I want to be short because a) I'll need to find a short window alone with him to ask b) I wish to give him the chance to respond but it kinda of needs to be in a 'tak or nie' format.
Thanks so much for any help you can give me. I'm horribly nervous but it would mean a lot to me for him to give me his blessing.
That'll just sound stupid in Polish. Ask a friend of Kasia's (or Kasia herself) to write something short and suitable that won't make you sound like a Harlequin romance novel come to life....
to be honest mafketis it sound stupid in English. I guess I'm trying to simplify what I'll say. I don't wish to ask Kasia for obvious reasons (I haven't proposed to her yet) and I don't really want to ask anyone we know as I want Kasia to be the first person to know my intention.
To be honest the speech you've written is quite complicated for a novice speaker of Polish. You'd really need to write it down and read it which would be a bit much really especially as you'd be stumbling over the pronunciation. So I would suggest:
Wie Pan, kocham Kasią bardzo. Chciałbym prosić o rękę Pana/Państwa córki. Czy mogę?
That basically translates as "You know I love Kasia very much. I would like to ask for your daughter's hand. May I?" Pana if it's just him you're talking to, Państwa if it's the mother and father.
Then after the hugs and kisses etc and the tears of joy and the vodka, you can say "Jutro, zapytam ją" I will ask her tomorrow.
Now I'm not a native Polish speaker so there may be errors there or it may not be the 'correct' way but it'll do the job! Hope that helps. Good luck - let us know how it goes.
Okay, I just looked up a couple of Polish (in Polish) forums where people discuss this very issue.
There is very broad agreement that this is not necessary or even advisable at present. Some random comments (all by Polish women) give you the general idea (nb my translations are free and idiomatic and not literal)
"a bym się czuła niczym sprzedawana za kozę" (I would feel like I'd been traded for a goat)
"Sama bym sie ze wstydu spaliła gdyby mój mąz odstawił szopke przed rodzicami, a oni by go śmiechem zabili. " (For myself, I'd die of shame of my husband put on a show like that before my parents and they would die laughing)
"Lepiej ich nie proś o rękę córki, bo co zrobisz jak się nie zgodzą?" (Better not ask for their daughter's hand, what are you gonna do if they say no?"
"ale jakby facet poprosił mnie o rękę przy rodzinie poczulabym się zażenowana i zawstydzona...to jednak dosyć intymna chwila." (But if some guy proposed to me in front of my family I'd feel embarrassed and ashamed - it's supposed to be an intimate moment"
"osobiście spaliłabym się ze wstydu gdyby chłopak chciał kląkać przed moim ojcem... masakra i porażka." (personally I'd die of shame if my boyfriend wanted to kneel in front of my father, what an epic fail)
etc etc etc
My advice: Ask Kasia and after she says yes, ask how you should inform her parents (or ask for their blessing) including something that you can say in Polish.
Wie Pan, kocham Kasią bardzo. Chciałbym prosić o rękę Pana/Państwa córki. Czy mogę?
It sounds really nice to me (except it should be "Kasię" which is the accusative of "Kasia").
Ask Kasia and after she says yes, ask how you should inform her parents
Asking parents for their blessing may these days seem in Poland some Anglo-saxon way of doing things known mostly from American films. But since he is foreigner, it makes sense and may be truly welcomed and accepted by all the parties involved
The critical thing is to _not_ spring this on Kasia in front of her parents.
He doesn't know them, she does. If she wants to marry him she'll know the best way to tell them (which might include having him "officially" ask them in Polish).
I knew I'd make a mistake somewhere! Nigdy, nigdy will I ever understand Polish grammar but never mind. Thank you very much for your kind words and your help Ziem.
The critical thing is to _not_ spring this on Kasia in front of her parents.
Well he said he wanted to get the Dad on his own so I don't think he was planning to.
I would agree that it's very old fashioned to ask the parents first. Some women would really be annoyed to think that you'd discussed a very personal thing like that with the family and as Ziem says what if she doesn't want to marry him. I think the normal way nowadays is for the couple to announce the good news together. However, for some reason men who are involved with a Polish woman, seem to come over all minor European Princeling, bowing and heel clicking and 'küss die hand bitte gnädiges Frau" vibe. But,if he wants to do it that way, let him.
As an addendum (and some consolation) for you, I shall add that Polish grammar has been somewhat simplified over the ages. We do not have the dual number any more!
Polish, like German and other inflected European languages, is ever so precise, albeit far from "logical"! I stopped trying to find or translate the "logic" of other languages umpteen years back, as I saw I wouldn't get anywhere, and so merely began to accept their vaguries and simply chalked it all up to cultural difference:-)
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