USA, Canada /
My wife wants to return to Poland...but I want to stay in the US [155]
Your wife should be thankful for living in the BEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD!
Sorry, but I think this is often a big part of the problem and downright ignorant. The USA is the best country for US-Americans, but not for your foreign wife. And she surely doesn't have to be thankful! The best country for a Polish woman is Poland, and the best country for my Russian wife is Russia. You guys have to understand that your wife gave up everything to live with YOU, but her better economic situation in the USA can't replace what she gave up for you (family and friends, language and culture). In her new life she basically turned from adult to child, not being able to deal with the most basic things. It's no wonder that a woman that has to stay at home in a foreign country all the time wants to go back home!
I can tell you what I did. The first thing I made sure is that she isn't dependent on me. She learned the language and got a job, which gave her her own money and her own social circle. I told her she could redesign my house to make it ours, not mine. Whenever possible I show her my country (almost every weekend) and why I like it, and I always try to find connections to Russia, and now she likes it here quite a lot. She avoids the Russian diaspora because this would again isolate her from the majority society. We celebrate the holidays of both countries, like Western and Russian Christmas. Her family visits her at least once a year, and we visit Russia also at least once a year. But despite all this I know that my country will never be like Russia, and I'm so incredibly thankful that she gave up everything for me. And as long as you don't feel the same about your wife it will not work. It's as simple as that.
