Love / Prevention of child abduction by Polish mother. [232]


Yes to the saving face. Face is very important. (Another branch of this is the 'never say sorry/thank you' doctrine which is practised by many - absolutely extraordinary - but that is another post ...).

The Polish grandmas: they are very very quick to turn. They will have been highly suspicious at the outset, of the taking of a foreign man. They will feel much more comfortable now that he is out of the way.

But ... I am not saying that the woman wanted this from the beginning. If so, why go for the English guy? No, I am not saying that this was some 'plot', planned and executed. Not at all. The romance and, to some degree, glamour of dating an English guy (is 'glamour' too strong a word?!) (the novelty value, then) ... all of that I would imagine definitely played a part. And maybe she enjoyed someone being so nice to her, and so easy to manipulate, for a while. But there came a point where this role-play just didn't work for her, and she couldn't be doing with it. And it is at this moment that he became nothing, and she just carried on regardless.

Do I feel sorry for her? No, and I doubt she feels sorry for herself. There is nothing to feel sorry for. She is ok. She is extraordinarily tough by British terms, but actually she is just a normal Polish gal getting on with it.


I'm afraid I think the possibility I have painted is most likely the norm, even if seemingly extreme ...


You're welcome, although I am very sorry for you that it is like that.


Thank you, too. I try. Well, in fact, I don't try: it all just comes out of my mouth. Can you even begin to imagine the havoc I cause among Polish society ... ; )

Oh and just have to comment on this:


(ran out of time)


This is such a subject ... vast ... and yes, a minefield ... and so difficult for a 'man' to comment, given the nature of the subject ... (an aside: don't you think there should be a mechanism whereby people could write papers, have their voice, etc, without declaring their sex?) ... (that would be true equality ; ) ... but:

The point about Polish women is that they have, in general, had a very different programming re: what a woman is. The US/Western machine turns us out as victims before we've even started, whereas the Polish system (propulgated by grandmas over many a cup of crazily strong coffee) produces women equally convinced of their rightness, but through bullishness and being the dominant one. Taking no prisoners. Western women take prisoners and then feel bad about it and aren't quite sure what to do - make the prisoner a cup of tea - give him a blowjob - and then call the Police ...

That is why I have always refused to label myself a woman. I realised from my teenage years that the term had very mixed connotations. I am simply myself. : )

Love / Prevention of child abduction by Polish mother. [232]

OK ... the first thing you have to do is: forget ALL of your (our) English understanding of children's rights, rights of the father, right of the child to have contact with the father, the father's family (grandparents, for example), etc. etc. etc.

This is a different ball game now, and I think what you probably really need from this site is some setting out of the rules so you know at least what game you are trying to play. (I know: English response: 'But it is not a game ... I want to be utterly fair ... this is my child's life ... but I also respect the mother's right to a happy life ... I just want my child to have access to the loving support of both sides of her family ...' - FORGET IT - that will not wash here - that will just been seen as weakness on your part ... more of which later.)

It is a different ball game, and frankly it is hard-ball now.

Point no. 1: Poland is a matriarchal society. Don't even think of underestimating what that means.

Point no. 2: Following on, what the lady wants, the lady either gets the easy way, or the hard way, but she ALWAYS gets it. (trust me ... I have been an undercover anthropologist surviving on berries in this Polish-English jungle for some years now ...)

3: Do not even begin to expect any kind of decency, or 'normal' reactions from your Polish baby-mama. I can tell you now what she is saying and planning:

- You are either a waste of space, or a bastard, or both. She may elaborate on this with tales of beating, etc. - I don't know - maybe you ARE a bastard - you haven't said why you aren't together - but I imagine it was more along the lines of you loved her, she appeared to love you, she had the baby, she ditched you for no solid reason ...

- The only sensible thing that a self-respecting mother could do would be to make her own way in life.
- She doesn't want or need your help, thank you very much. She has a lovely baby, and her life planned out. Back to Poland. Back to her family. A new guy (or an old one resurfaced.) No you. Ever.

The clans will gather around her. Beaux will surface (if one hasn't already - I very much doubt she sleeps alone). The baby will be at the heart of the family. Her new accessory. She will parade proudly and show off her mothering skills. Everyone will say what a beautiful baby. Nobody will EVER mention you, apart from when she signals the ok to lay into you - in which case, you will be reviled for one reason or another, and the great sensibleness of having got rid of you be vaunted.

4. Nobody will EVER even suggest, let alone think, that the baby lacks anything in its life by not having you there. The baby came from the woman. It is her possession. In her arms. You are entirely superfluous to requirements now.

I am really sorry to say all this. It is so hard for us to understand and accept. And of course, you don't and shouldn't accept it, and you must challenge it and must use all the rigours of the law to make sure that you have a place in your child's life. You sound a decent guy, and I am sure you will be sensitive to the child's happiness, and not forcing the issue ... but if you honestly haven't done anything horrible or antisocial to cause the break up, and it's just that she doesn't want you, then of course she has no right to speak for your child as well.

It sounds like you are doing the best thing. And I think the sanest way to go about it is to try not to engage emotionally (well, obviously very hard not to, but you will achieve more, and lose less years off your life, if you try to focus and be calm - in the way, I am sure, she is being). You need to get the DNA test. You need to establish paternity, and have it on a piece of paper. You need then simply to go to court and apply for access to your child. You will get it, without doubt. If she goes to Poland, go as well. Get it through the courts in Poland. Do NOT let her take your child away from its father.

Of course, it's always better to agree out of court - but trust me, if the roles were even a tiny bit reversed, she would be down the court like lightning. She will have absolute conviction that she is in the right - remember that. That is why I say you can't even begin to engage with this emotionally, because you will be breathless with outrage before you've even started.

Plod calmly and unemotionally through the courts. It will cost. Time, money and stress. But you will get there. I really don't think she should be allowed to get away with this.

And be very careful that you don't do anything, or give anyone any information, that could be used against you. You can't really trust any mutual friends. They will swear blind not to tell, etc etc, and then will be texting her in the loo while still at your house. Trust me also on this. It is that bad.

My wider theory is that this and other behaviours have a significant root in the pressure of living in times of war. Neighbour sells neighbour. Everything is weighed up in terms of the bottom line. Action is decisive. There is no regret, and no conscience.

Very best of luck to you. This is why we have courts. Use them.

ps
Oh, and about niceness being weakness ...

The strongest wins. The strongest is the one who uses everything to their advantage, who hits below the belt without hesitancy, and who sleeps well at night, in the comfortable conviction of their absolute right.

You feel you should rise to the challenge, and be the best of yourself. The English way to do this is to be particularly understanding, fair, and forgiving. It is to give the benefit of the doubt. It is - and I am not a practiser of any religion, by the way - but it is a genuinely Christian approach.

This will be seen by her as laughable weakness, and an open invitation to trample even more firmly over your requests and propositions.

So don't be upset by that. It's just the way it is.

Love / Do Irish / British guys like Polish girls? [138]


I know I am taking this out of context, but it seems a bit unkind, warszawa-angole. Sounds like vocabulary with which you are both comfortable and familiar.


Quite right. I don't understand W-A's point really.

Ok, about fatness:
Yes, if you are fat and unattractive, you really really won't get lots of Polish guys around you - they, probably sensibly, know themselves, and know that if they took up with a porker, they would soon be laying into her everyday (verbally at least) about how she is a tlusta suka, and giving her the nickname grubasie. So better that they don't hook up with here in the first place.

English guys, on the other hand, are a lot more ... what shall we call it ... accepting (I know, a generalisation, but in Poland it is de rigeur that one is NOT FAT)(at all).

And about Polish v. English guys chatting people up:
Polish guys usually only chat up when they are quite prepared to go and immediately have sex with someone.
English guys will chat anyone up, just out of general good humour.


By far the best advice.
Yorkshire men: real.
Southern men: jelopy.

I have not once observed a similarity between Polish guys and Yorkshire guys. A positive comparison. I have even thought that my liking for Polish guys comes from having had a Yorkshire father.

So: if you want a British boyfriend, because Polish guys don't want you (sorry, but that's the crux of it with them: if they wanted you, they would pursue you) - then all manner of British guys will be up for it. If you want warm, real men types, then go to Yorkshire. In London you will get pale-faced thin guys who cycle too much, and every other nationality you can think of (might be hard to find an Englander ...). In general, though, it will be easier than with Poles, because there must be something about you that doesn't work for them (they are not usually backwards in coming forward, shall we say).

Brits ARE generally more accepting than Polish guys, I think ... so good luck. You won't need it. It will be easy.

Love / Do Irish / British guys like Polish girls? [138]

British men adore Polish women. They generally like all foreign women, but are generally particularly partial to Central/Eastern European women, so I'm sure you will have lots of offers.

You just need to go down the pub, have an orange juice and wait. Soon someone will come and talk to you.

And/or get some English friends and go to a few barbecues (the season approaches) - you will soon have several lurching drunken English guys being very nice to you and making you cups of tea.

It sounds like I'm joking, but I'm not. I'm English. I should know.

I, on the other hand, have chosen the hard route of a Polish man ... no cups of tea there (because I don't drink tea according to the rules, so I am not allowed it ...).

English guys are nice. They will love you. They will try to dig the garden and light the bbq. They might spend too long at the pub, but they won't do anything bad. They will never hurt you. They will appreciate you. They will remember your birthday. Try one.

Love / English Men vs Polish Men [207]

Polish men are more real than English men. They are more in touch with who they are. They are more open emotionally. They are stronger. They have a stronger and more confident (totally confident, usually) vision of what it is to be a man, and what to be a woman. This comes with the baggage of what might be construed as sexist tendencies by a liberal English girl, but a lot of that liberality is nonsense, and only ends in tears.

Polish men are like Yorkshire men. They are Northerners rather than Southerners. Sorry to say that, and no offence meant, but there is quite a range of men in the UK, whereas there are only two or three types in Poland, and all of them the same in some ways.

English men are generally either a bit mean, or a bit pathetic. Quite a lot of them aren't quite sure how they are allowed to be a man nowadays. Poles don't have any such issues. And they are great fun.

But I must say that it isn't the fault of English men ... it is the fault of our dithering, eminently reasonable, totally permissive society ... we have gone a long way to emasculating our men. They tend generally to have a great time with Poles, and feel a lot better about themselves - English men are happier in a 'real man' environment, eg, with Poles.

As for the best guy to be with ... your Pole probably won't wash up that much, most likely really never ever will wash and iron, but he will hug you all night and make you feel alive. And make you laugh. Not far off perfect.

Language / How hard is it to learn Polish? [178]

How hard is it to learn Polish?

Depends how good you are at learning any language.

Polish is a hell of a lot easier to pronounce than French, for the English tongue.
If you've ever learnt Latin, or German, or Greek, then the grammar isn't a problem, although the array of variables and just sheer volume of forms to learn can be a bit daunting.

It is a language that I think you'll never get tired of.

So, if you're bad at listening, not so musical, and not very mathematical, then it will be very hard to learn.
If you're kind of middling at all the above, it will be a challenge, but you'll struggle on and get somewhere.
And if you have the lucky gift of being able to soak up new languages like a sponge, then you'll love Polish. And it won't be any harder or easier than any other language.

Love / How do I make a Polish girl cry? [107]

They usually need medication in order to cry. Try 90% proof.

Love / Do Polish men make good husbands? [106]


You got it.
The family will at first be very nice to you, in the wary way a group of natives might circle a missionary and seem almost friendly.

But believe me, before long you will be soup in the pot, over the campfire, and most likely scalped beforehand.

Polish women in particular are very very very jealous of their men - even, eg, if their brother-in-law marries or is with a non-Polish woman.

And remember that to Polish women, anything you do that is in the tiniest bit different to them will be seen as outrageous behaviour. Not to be tolerated. And they will want to rescue their own from your evil (or inept) clutches.

There will be a turning point, when they will start talking to him about you, or criticising you openly, when he is there, but you aren't. Then they will start saying things like 'well, if you aren't happy with her, life is too short' (most likely after you and him have had an argument caused by their meddling).

Yep. That's the way it goes. Polish husbands are expensive, emotionally speaking. But can be worth it.

Love / Do Polish men make good husbands? [106]

The obvious answer is that it depends on the individual, but actually it depends on how the individual reacts to the culture in which they are brought up ... which in this case, shapes men to be quite difficult for a woman from a more 'emancipated' culture.

Men are men, women are women. Quite refreshing for those of us from cultures where we were all supposed to be 'the same', and quite sexy in a way, but also means that if you aren't making the guy open sandwiches with ham, gherkins and egg mayo for his bedtime snack every night, then you are a bad woman ... all Polish men, however intelligent and well-educated, expect you to be the perfect 1950s housewife, as well as being cool, different, free-thinking and incredibly sweet and nice. I am ok with most of that, but have had to work on the 1950s housewife bit ; ) ... but I just pretend to be the mother from Bewitched, and it works ok. Oh, and there is also absolutely no being in the tiniest bit fat. Ever. Just not permitted.

Seriously, it will take you years to understand what standard you are being held up to. You will at some point probably feel outraged that such things are expected of you. You will probably also rebel in one way or another. And then, maybe, for the sake of the children you will probably have had by then, you might just start making the open sandwiches. If you really get into it, you will cut the tomatoes into little crown shapes as well ... and in return, you will have a deeply protective, jealous, proud, demanding, energetic, frustrating, stubborn, emotional, funny and generally alive sort of husband, who is most likely also very warm physically, and somehow strangely forgiveable, despite all his massive faults. You will have a Pole.

Love / 'Battered husbands' - still a taboo subject in Poland [387]


sounds like a good idea to me, although i guess she probably gets battered a bit more when the police have gone, as punishment for calling them ...

i didn't know the police in Poland actually consider wife-beating a crime.

Language / I teach English to some Polish people - how to explain them tenses? [33]


Sorry, but are we talking about the same 'English' here?! Our perception, and hence verbalization, of time is one of the most difficult things for foreign learners, and especially for Poles ... we have (arguably):

present simple / continuous
past simple / continuous
present perfect simple / continuous
past perfect simple / continuous
five ways of referring to future time (future with 'will', present simple for timetables, present continuous for arrangements, 'going to' for plans)
future perfect simple/continuous
future continuous
genuine conditionals (would, etc.)
modal verbs
subjunctives (effectively)

and all the above also active and passive ...

? How is that easy, and in what way do we have relatively few tenses? We have more tenses that a lot of languages, and make distinctions of time/perspective that other languages don't (which is the difficulty in explaining/learning).

Ok ... sorry ... small rant over ... but just don't want you to think our tense system is 'easy', as it is (notoriously) not so.

As for how to explain the present perfect ; ) ... think of the actual words you use.

I have been.

ie, I possess that action. It is mine. I present it to you. The significance of it is that I own it - I have experienced it. And I am still here, holding it, showing it to you.

Try to feel what it really means. Then it will be easier to communicate.

Love / Need Advice: I have fallen in love with a Polish woman... [65]


my God thank you for that - you are so right - that is what i have been doing wrong (and what has been driving me crazy!) ...

i also am involved in a complicated relationships where everyone has baggage and someone lied through their teeth quite a bit, so I can relate to the poster's predicament.

the thing he should remember is: Polish women very rarely, if ever, do anything that would jeopardise their financial/general security, and that of their children. They do, on the other hand, frequently do whatever is necessary to improve their position, in the quickest and most direct way to hand.

Po prostu, they do things differently to Brits, so if poster is a Brit, he should watch out ...

Love / All the good Polish men for dating are taken? [111]


?? I was talking about men, so don't know who 'she' is.


yes, of course, that one example means the entire Polish population do the same ...

i don't know if you guys know what irony/joking/etc is?? Obviously i don't think every Polish man gets married at 21!

BUT
there is a hugely strong tradition of marrying relatively young in Poland. It DID used to be (and not so long ago - and still v much so in some areas/social groups) that people were expected to


for several decades in the UK, this has not been what you do - the trend has been to 'have a life' and then worry about having no family in your mid to late thirties, panic, and marry anything that comes along, and spend your 40s trying to make up for lost time.

I repeat the word 'trend'. am not talking about individuals. am talking about general movements. And I stand by the assertion that if you take 1000 UK guys aged 25, and 1000 Polish guys, significantly more of the Poles will be married. Yes, the culture is changing, but it is still going strong.

And by the way, anything I say about Polish women is meant playfully.

Love / All the good Polish men for dating are taken? [111]


all desirable Polish men are married, or taken such that they will soon be married.
even bald, toothless, women-beating alcoholics are married.
in fact, every Polish male is married, and usually by the age of 21.

no, seriously. Polki know what's what. there is a terrific fight for bagging yr man and setting up your family, early on. it's like rushing to get a partner in a gym lesson.

there are, of course, exceptions - free thinkers - rebels. they quite often end up in the UK, but are usually snapped up by any men-less Polki here.

so, if you are not a Polish woman, but you want a Polish man, you really have a very limited field of play. your best bet is the curious maverick who has refused to join the masses, but there really aren't many of them. they tend to be v much worth it, though. rare gems. but i am biased.

Food / Eating Kielbasa - how do you cook yours? [119]


not sure what use of caps has to do with nationality?? : )

i simply prefer going naked on such forums. no capital letters. not even for proper nouns. feels risky and exhilirating. you see, i am extremely english. such things excite me. like polish sausage. in the right context. ; )

seriously, you Poles (ok, had to do that to distinguish you from long sticks) - are these sausages frequently used as sex toys?

Food / Eating Kielbasa - how do you cook yours? [119]

no, am sorry, but one can also use 'repellent' to mean 'something which has the property of repelling' - in the case of Polish sausage, repelling me (rather than mosquitoes). i think there are several quotations from Oscar Wilde where he uses it thus - am pretty sure there are at least two in 'Importance ...'.

i am extremely english, i can assure you.

have a natural aversion to pigs' noses and balls made into sausages and frozen and then unwrapped and given to me ...

Life / Importance of Religion in Poland [187]


never in my life have i encountered such blind hypocrisy as i have in Poland. they don't seem to understand, eg, that if you are Catholic YOU DON'T DO ABORTION. ????

they all go and pray and kneel, etc, then go home and have abortions.
am not joking.
or talk about how children (who are running around, delightful children) should have been aborted but got lucky. (while conceived within stable marriages)

wtf?

sorry, but am not being nice now. am being direct and Polish about this. it is utter bollocks. who can say it isn't??

Food / Eating Kielbasa - how do you cook yours? [119]

polish sausage is repellent in all aspects and it doesn't make any difference how you cook it (but grilled is the least unpleasant) (although still horrible)

sorry. can't help being english ; )

Language / Can you recognise the nationality of foreign Polish speakers by their accent? [43]


you are very welcome ... although not sure what for ; )


Maybe unfair on you Poles ... but it is true that some other native speakers have possibly more neutral ? an accent, or foundation, and can therefore morph more convincingly into other accents. Their native accent doesn't intrude so much. I do know v high-flying Poles with near perfect English, but they still sound Polish. I know Dutch people, though, who I would honestly think to be native English speakers who've spent a bit of time in the US or Ireland. They have a very slight drawl. But their accent is amazingly good. I don't know how good they are in Italian or French, though ... and Poles DO have good French accents.

OK: maybe it's this: different languages have different compatibilities (eg, Poles have an accent in English, but not so in French; Dutch v lucky in English, but not so in Chinese; etc. ? an idea ....)

Language / Can you recognise the nationality of foreign Polish speakers by their accent? [43]

ok, yes, there is an odd thing here.

i am English. i can listen to any English native speaker and, like someone said, tell you within a radius of max. 70 miles what area of the country they are from.

i speak with someone whose English is great but not L1 and of course i know in nano seconds that they are not English. and i can usually hear a Pole a mile off.

now, i speak Polish. well, apparently. and Poles either think i am genuinely Polish - yes - or that I am Polish but at some point migrated to the UK and got vaguely Anglicised. They don't say I am English.

weird, no? weird in that they can't immediately tell, however good my Polish is, that i am a fake ...

Love / Inside polish women's psychology and mind [109]

I would imagine Polish women are going through a similar revolution (albeit in a v minor way) as Western Europe in the 60s/70s. It is a kick-out against a very traditional, repressive (to some) culture where the woman is only valued as a woman if she is a perfect mother and home-maker. Children are sometimes used to tie a woman to a home, keep her quiet (tired) and within her role. This way she doesn't threaten the male: she cares for him and the children. He has little involvement in the more arduous aspects of childcare (washing, cleaning, getting up in the night, etc.) - he goes to work in the morning, comes back to his tea (as they would say up North in England - another bastion of similar culture ; ) and then relaxes. He may play with the children for a little while, but soon hands them back to their mother.

The mother shoulders 99% of the practical responsibility for the children, and it is a matter of honour (or has been made so) that she doesn't need help from anyone else - and certainly not the man. She would not be a proper woman if she couldn't 'dac sobie rade' with her children (and home/man). She does have a lot of influence in the home, and general rules the roost, but she is also a workhorse. And, should she ever really step out of line or ask too much of her husband, she may well get the back of a hand to show that she has overstepped the mark, one evening when she has 'driven' him to drink ...

And yet, while she still has no children, the man will be as good as gold, because he needs her, to create his family, and therefore continue the progression of his status in life.

Any wonder some women don't want kids?

OK, a slightly angled view of things there, and some generalisations, but I challenge anyone to prove there is not a kernel of truth. : )

Love / How to show a polish Guy I like him [56]

he is polish, and a guy

That means he is like a guy only double it

so don't show him you are even the slightest bit interested in him

if you start being nice to him, or, God forbid, say you love him, then he will lose respect for you ... unless, that is, he hasn't had sex with you yet, and/or you are very rich.

ok, ok, i know that is only certain (Polish) guys. but seriously. don't be so daft - if he is being cool, don't do the girl thing and think that means he's shy and/or waiting for the green light. no. he is Polish, after all. if he wants to jump you, he will, no doubt about that.

so be as cool as you can and don't think he needs to hear about your feelings. he doesn't. not until he is truly in love with you.

(jeez but i am jaundiced, non?!)

Language / Polish was chosen the HARDEST LANGUAGE in the world to learn... :D [1558]


so when people say to me 'you speak great English' (because my Polish speaking is so convincing they think i am Polish) ... then i really REALLY should feel good?

is a bit like when they won't sell me alcohol because they think i'm too young
is the sort of compliment that makes you feel like there is one big bouncy castle somewhere underneath you

i have learnt/dabbled in Latin, French, Italian, German, Greek (modern) and Spanish, and yes, Polish is way the hardest. way the most fun, too, though ...

Marek2010
but all of them - this is what they are thinking

i know - they (you) are extraordinarily sly. it is a sort of cultural defence mechanism. my lying skills have soared since i began conducting my life in Polish. this language has eroded my morality. i feel myself saying and doing things i have only seen people doing in war films ... (the ones where they either got caught, or are trying not to)

Love / What do foreign women think of Polish men? [120]


wow. where do i start?! at least one novel, if not three, required to explain you guys.

firstly, my credentials are reasonably strong for being in a position to have an opinion. i will say that i have two children, and their fathers are both Polish. trust me, that counts as a close encounter with the species. ok, only two test cases, but pretty in depth study ... and, of course, a host of satellite males have also been studied (purely platonically, i hasten to add ; )

ok. one big whopping thought: whatever, despite everything, all serious character flaws and crazy traits that they may have aside, i prefer polish men to most others (that is of course a generalisation, but in general, that's my opinion ...).

why? because (omigod everyone will now hate me) they are more ... real. somehow. don't know how. more raw. more flawed, maybe. more charming, usually. less reasonable, often. better at changing lightbulbs, always.

too many thoughts on this. will contribute more tomorrow.


this also often true, but lovable ones ; )

UK, Ireland / Polish woman in the UK gives birth then leaves the baby in hospital [28]

couldn't it be that her crazy jealous mad vodka-fuelled married lover killed her, as she gave birth rather than aborting the baby??

just a hunch.

Life / 3 reasons why you hate Poland. [1049]


you got it
yes, actually that is the most aggravating thing about poles
it makes me want to kill them with my bare hands (sometimes)


they are too fat. they would fall off

Life / 3 reasons why you hate Poland. [1049]


well, sex does cheer one up
and somehow sex in poland is better than sex in england
blimey no idea what kind of hang-ups in me that touches upon ... ! am not going there ; )

Life / 3 reasons why you hate Poland. [1049]

1. plastic wc seats that are so light they flap up and down when you open the bathroom door

2. extraordinarily depressing built-in wardrobe-drawer units in mahogany plastic that cover a whole wall to 2.5m height and are adorned with icons and nic-nacs and that everyone (young and old alike) considers 'very smart' ...

3. that white sky

(3.a. that white sky the morning after a Polish wedding and a lot of vodka) (mind you, there is usually sex to cheer one up, it being Poland)

Love / How many Polish men are Violent how much is domestic abuse reported. [129]


i think that the occasional physical reaction is not seen as totally unacceptable, in the way i think it is in my culture (english). and certainly whacking kids is seen as aok.

i guess there's a downside to a very physical culture for men.

of course nobody here can give a definitive answer based on statistics, as everyone's opinion is based on a relatively small sampling. but put it this way .. i have heard that 'oh and now he never sees his kids ... they got divorced ... he drank ... he beat her up ...' more times in the past few years of being with Poles than ever before (before it was just something i occasionally read about in the papers).

to be honest i think it is more the vodka, and the frustration, and the prescriptive male culture, than anything else. i would risk saying that i think, from my experience, there is more lashing out among Poles than among my (fey, intellectual ; ) English friends ...


you wish ; )

Work / Teaching English in Zakopane, is it safe? [45]

i am sure you will be absolutely fine. i am really sorry that you have to worry like this, but honestly, zakopane has a lot of tourism and i'm sure lots of different nationalities are seen there all the time. it is a beautiful place and that has brought people there.

i can't believe it isn't safe. it isn't like east germany in the 1980s. it is totally different. and some poles might blow hot air about people who are different from them, but i think in reality they are very welcoming. that is my experience (seeing they interact with people of different races in my house).

it will be great. don't worry. look forward to it. if anything, you will seem exotic and they will all be after you ; ) and remember all the kids are brought up on mtv and there is a high african-american representation there ... you will be like a pop star.