UK, Ireland /
English/British rudeness - what do Polish people think about it? [161]
Example #1: I was at the train station and had just missed my train so I went to sit down in the waiting room ('cos it is cold) to wait for the next one. I am reading a paper and put my bag on the seat next to me, I was absorbed in reading a paper. Two English people walk in looking very posh, middle-aged/elderly couple clutching a poodle in a poodle-carrier, the Guardian newspaper and two cafe lattes.There is one empty seat to my left and one to my right. They are talking, but stop talking and stare at me. After two seconds I notice and move over to the next seat so they'll have two next to each other. They just stare in silence while I move. After I move the lady says "oh... thank you ever so much, that's ever so kind" which I don't respond to.
I was not offended but thought it was a bit odd, because it seemed genuinely meant as if she hadn't expected me to move and I had done some great favor she would be forever grateful for
Example #2, same day: I am on the tube, there is an empty fold-up seat next to me I am next to the door, reading an email on my phone. There is one empty seat sandwiched between two occupied ones opposite. Two posh English girls about 25 walk in. One is slim and tall the other is shortish and fat. Both sound very happy with themselves and have upper class accents. My bag is on the floor below the fold-up seat. The slim girl sits down in the unoccupied seat opposite, her fat friend starts talking loudly to her, ******** about other people they know. After about three minutes I look at the fat girl wondering why she is standing by the door talking over three other people and so annoying. I go back to my phone, about a minute later there is silence and the fat girl interrupts and says "um, would you mind moving your bag?" in a very ****** kind of tone. I look at her for 2 seconds move my bag and say nothing... fat girl sits down and resumes conversation.
#1 my bag was not on the seat or blocking her from using the seat #2 of course I don't 'mind' moving my bag #3 why would you even ask if I mind? #4 what is wrong with simply asking 'can I sit here?' #5 why didn't you say anything earlier, like 5 minutes ago... #6 why are English people so rude?
Now obviously in their own minds they think they are very polite refined people. The mark of an educated/polite English person is i) that anything you say to a stranger has to be a question and ii) to add 'would you mind' to every 'question' however simple and routine it is. It is also to be exaggeratedly thankful to strangers for the most tiny little thing. The problem with all this is two things: #1 that it is so ridiculous that it sounds like sarcasm #2 that it is blatantly insincere #3 they are trying to make you think you're rude/uneducated. 'Politeness' which is that insincere and implies the other person is rudeness is no longer politeness, it's rude.
As far as I know I have only ever come across this in England. Both examples were very posh English middle-class type people, who obviously have been educated a certain way, in a certain culture who in their minds think they are very refined people. The first couple the older generation are just kind of silly patronizing people, it's irritating but they are mostly harmless. The second are a younger generation do the same thing but make the whole thing much more insulting. Both cases if they could avoid all this by being more direct but they go through all of life doing the same thing never learning that it's rude or noticing how unnecessary it is.
I think it's most blatant when they're abroad, they come off even more obnoxious, hypocritical and insulting because they're not with other English/British people who are already used to it. Though because they are tourists and spending money nobody calls them out. This becomes stereotypically 'English' behavior and one of the quirks that people recognize and associate with the UK as a whole.
