Law / Custody Issue and Travel Abroad of my Girlfriend from Poland [31]

Judged from the perspective of a civilized, developed society where people are not expected to beggar themselves to obtain basic legal services, then 75,000 US dollars is an obscene amount of money to pay for a simple, straightforward legal case. That's the equivalent of about 400,000 zł.

The way to approach it is for the girlfriend to ask the child's father if he objects to her taking the child to live in the USA. If he does, then she can apply to the court to overrule the father's decision. She needs to present a convincing case to the court that the move will be more to the child's benefit than detriment. It's that simple. The outcome depends on how convincing that case is. The OP should ask himself the list of questions which I provided which were devised by two experienced and highly qualified Polish family lawyers. If he has good answers to those questions his girlfriend has a good case. If not, what, if anything, can he do to improve those answers.

I would however, recommend that they get a lawyer to present the case, as most people are unequal to dealing with courts on their own and Polish legal system is not exactly user-friendly. An experienced family lawyer should be well able to present their case at a reasonable cost.

Law / Custody Issue and Travel Abroad of my Girlfriend from Poland [31]

Lul bul, don't be so silly. There's no need for anybody to spend that kind of money. You must either be American or spent most of your life there to have such ideas. Bringing a court case in this kind of matter is relatively cheap in Poland. The case to bring is not for removal of father's parental authority but for relocation of the child if the father doesn't consent. One thing in the mother's favour is that the kiddy hasn't started school yet, so there wouldn't be any disruption to schooling. If the child could start English lessons that would be good.

@Videobroker, how long have you known your girlfriend and how do her family feel about you? Do you have much contact with the little girl and do you have a proper relationship/friendship with her and not just the mother?

Law / Custody Issue and Travel Abroad of my Girlfriend from Poland [31]


But he does Terri. The OP said that he pays child support, though he's late with the payments. And he does visit the child, though sporadically. I think it's very unlikely that the court would remove his parental rights. There needs to be a serious neglect of the parental responsibilities for that to happen. The correct term btw is parental authority. The best that's likely to happen is a limiting of his rights.

"If the deprivation of the parental authority is found not to be justified (for example, the father supports the child financially even if it is not on a regular basis and in the amounts smaller than it seems to be appropriate."

The legal position regarding relocation abroad is this:

"When parental authority is granted to both parents, each parent has the right and at the same time is obliged to exercise it (Article 97§1, Family and Guardianship Code (FGC)). Parents should decide together about the important matters in the child's life.[/b]"

The information above which was provided by Dr Joanna Kosińska-Wiercińska and Professor Jacek Wierciński, is available in full here:

uk.practicallaw.thomsonreuters.com/4-622-5869?transitionType=Default&contextData=(sc.Default)&firstPage=true&comp=pluk&bhcp=1

I'd say that the chances of the court allowing the child to move would be heavily influenced by the economic circumstances of the OP. Can he afford to send the child back to Poland for regular holidays or pay for the grandparents to come out to the USA and visit. If not, I think it's not likely that the court would allow such a young child to relocate to a country so far away.

Law / Cajun from Louisiana state seeking refuge/new life in Poland? Wishing to become Polish (is it possible?) [34]


Actually we have a lot in common with Anglicans right down to nuns and monks and Communion etc. They're practically Catholics :))


And are they neo-Marxists? I doubt it.

Law / Cajun from Louisiana state seeking refuge/new life in Poland? Wishing to become Polish (is it possible?) [34]


You've never visited it have you? The Irish Catholic church only became 'Romanized' in the second half of the 19th century. Our kind of Catholicism is not the same as Poland's. What's happening now is more like a return to our grass roots Catholicism. But that's not for this thread. We're still one of the most religious nations in Europe, only second to Poland in terms of church attendance and prayer and streets ahead in good works, charity, volunteering etc. Reading reams of patriotic poetry in school- well, fine words butter no parsnips and Solidarity is long gone.

Law / Cajun from Louisiana state seeking refuge/new life in Poland? Wishing to become Polish (is it possible?) [34]


Can you give specific examples of how that manifests itself in modern Poland and in the day to day lives of the people? As I come from a profoundly Catholic country myself, where the influence of the Church is now considered to be on the wane, I can still see how our Catholic identity influences our lives. What of Poland?

Law / Cajun from Louisiana state seeking refuge/new life in Poland? Wishing to become Polish (is it possible?) [34]

Spike that's not fair. Cms is a genuine poster on this forum who knows Poland well and makes informed comments about it. There was nothing troll-like about his response. It's quite an accurate summing up. Living in Poland in 2019 is not equivalent to living in small town America back in the 1950s. Polish observance of Catholicism is more about social convention and being seen to conform, than about any deeply held beliefs. I'm not saying that it's pretence,I think most people believe in God but they're not down on their knees with the Rosary beads every day and lots of them hardly ever go to church, even the older ones, especially if they live in a city and don't feel that they're under scrutiny by their neighbours.

Anybody who comes to Poland expecting to never see a brown or black face or meet a Muslim, will be disappointed. Unless you're prepared to spend your life in a village in the back of beyond you will encounter people of colour from time to time. You will also meet people who are openly gay etc. Also "Polish Politics" are not simply right-wing. It's not a one party state. All views are represented and as part of the EU, Poland is more centre-right than 'strictly right- wing' as the OP says his politics are. If he wants to try living in Poland, he should go ahead but he needs to do so on a realistic basis, not in search of a fantasy world.

Life / Proper way to format a Polish mailing address when sending to Poland? [24]

Usually the street name comes first, followed by the house number. On the next line you have the post/zip code followed by the name of the town. So your address should read:

Janowice 393
32-020 Weiliczka

Genealogy / What are common Polish character traits? [425]


I hope they stick around, and you as well Paulina. Even though you and I are not BFFs by any means, at least you're actually Polish and you live in Poland. That's what the forum needs - and you're borderline normal which is a bonus!

Genealogy / What are common Polish character traits? [425]


My sides are splitting.

Genealogy / What are common Polish character traits? [425]

He's also a woman :D You see, if you want to have an intelligent conversation in this place, you have to rely on 'the ladies' :))

Genealogy / What are common Polish character traits? [425]


Terri IS Polish :)) However, my husband is also Polish and he too finds that any attempt at irony British Isles style, tends to fall flat with his Polish colleagues and do bear in mind that they're conversing in in Polish. Some of them watch British comedies and enjoy them but they don't 'get' the jokes in conversation if you know what I mean.

I do actually enjoy some older Polish comedies like Alternatywy 4, Poszukiwany, Poszukiwana etc.

Genealogy / What are common Polish character traits? [425]


@Torq, you just proved Terri's point about Poles not understanding irony - or were you being ironic??

But yes, Terri is right. In general they don't get that kind of humour. Polish humour tends to be 'telegraphed', real mainland Europe stuff, rubber sledge hammer, bucket of tinsel and 'sminky pinky'.

youtube.com/watch?v=piKeDrrOrsE

There are attempts at satirical humour but it's a bit forced. "The Chairman's Ear" is not bad but it doesn't compare to the Brits' "Yes Minister". Still, it's a step in the right direction :)

Language / Game - guess Polish idioms/sayings in direct English translation [1756]

Same as the English : to know something like the back of your hand :)

Language / Game - guess Polish idioms/sayings in direct English translation [1756]

Would it be equivalent to 'gird one's loins' in English??

Life / Flowers on a grave in Poland - how to order and deliver from abroad? [9]

Oh that's lovely news. I'm delighted for you. Thank you for letting us know :)

Law / The right to own guns: would you support such legislation in Poland? [2237]


I'm not British.

Law / The right to own guns: would you support such legislation in Poland? [2237]


That is really not an issue in the UK or indeed most of Europe. The death penalty was abolished many years ago in the UK and there has never been any appetite for bringing it back. Most of the issues you refer to would be encompassed by the question in the survey "Do you support Conservatism?" If you want to do the in-depth survey, you can sign up for it.

Language / Will Germans be able to understand Polish enough? [77]

Well, if you're going to spend some time in the airport, then you could look for an area where people are waiting to check in for a flight to Poland and you could sit down there and just hear the language spoken and see how it feels, what you can understand etc. :) If there are young kids around,you'll find that it's often very easy to understand them as they use very simple language and talk about ordinary, simple things. You might even be able to strike up a casual conversation with somebody but I wouldn't bank on it. Poles are not the most approachable people, not casually friendly with strangers but you never know. If you see a girl of about your age, she might not object if you wanted to chat her up a bit :))

Language / Will Germans be able to understand Polish enough? [77]

It's a pity you can't manage a day or two in Poland during your trip. Will you be near to the Polish border at all? Maybe you could manage a day trip.

Language / Will Germans be able to understand Polish enough? [77]

Poles can usually get the gist of what Russians are saying, so I imagine it works the other way round also. They're both Slavic languages. Some words are very similar, almost identical, some completely different. German has no relationship whatsoever to Polish so no German person will understand you if you speak to them in Polish. Can't imagine why you would want to use Polish in Germany when you speak English. In Western Europe, you will be able to get by with English in most basic situations like shopping, buying a train ticket etc. Polish will be of zero use to you unless you encounter a Pole who happens to be working in the shop, train station etc.

Life / Moving to Poland, Ireland, Belgium or Finland? [15]

I don't think there's any nationality capable of talking at such length as the Irish without really saying anything of consequence. It used to drive Mr Atch nuts when I'd start with a long-winded preamble, on something as basic as what we should have for dinner, skirting around the topic, making qualifying statements eg

Mr Atch: What shall we have for dinner?
Mrs Atch: Well I suppose it depends really.
Mr Atch: Depends on what?
Mrs Atch: Well it's hard to decide two hours in advance what you might like to eat that far ahead.
Mr Atch: We must decide on something if we need to cook it.
Mrs Atch: Well that depends. Now if we have pasta, that'll be quicker than spuds..........I'm not sure that we should have meat. We're eating a bit too much red meat. It's very bad for the colon you know and I don't really want to go to the supermarket and the meat in the Targowsiko is not the best. Do you know the other day I was there and I saw............blah, blah, blah.

whereas a 100% Polish couple would say:
What shall we have for dinner?
What about beet soup, spuds and kotlety with some red cabbage?
Lovely!

Life / Moving to Poland, Ireland, Belgium or Finland? [15]


I really don't think we're quick tempered. We're much more placid than Poles, definitely. But less steadily focused, yes. Meetings in Ireland are full of inconsequential chit-chat and it takes ages to get to the point. The Irish have a very indirect communication style and although we understand what's going on, foreigners may not! We read between the lines a lot, so we know what when Michael says 'yes, that's a possibility, we could look into that' he actually means 'no way are we going to do that' :))

I read a very interesting memoir once of a diplomat and he was talking about the first encounters between the Irish and the East German authorities back in the 1970s. The Germans were completely bewildered as you can imagine. The very first meeting they had, they were taken to somebody's house and into the kitchen and given tea and scones :D On another occasion, in the first meeting between the Germans and Irish delegates, there was a traffic jam and the Germans arrived about half an hour late at the President's official residence, in a lather of anxiety about this terrible faux pas. When they got there, ready with their profuse apologies, they were left waiting for about 20 minutes (in a comfy sitting room of course) and then an official came in, and greeted them with "Hello, how are you? You're very punctual"!

Law / Joint property law in Poland [7]


Completely unnecessary.

I simply can't believe the palaver going on about this. The OP lives in Surrey for God's sake, not the Outer Hebrides. There are loads of Polish speaking solicitors in the UK nowadays who can give her basic advice on this issue in one quick consultation for a small cost and can file any paperwork etc needed. It would be madness to spend money on a trip to Poland, looking for an English speaking lawyer in a provincial town and then trying to get them to answer emails etc once the OP goes back to the UK. Those of us who've done any official business with Poland know how difficult it is to get them to correspond in a business-like manner.

@Yonita, what is the matter with you woman! Sorry, but that's said as one woman to the other. You're faffing about, wasting time and asking random strangers, none of whom are Polish solicitors about an issue you can solve by just contacting a solicitor. Here, here's a link to a solictor in your neck of the woods who has Polish speaking staff. They have a branch in Addlestone where you live. They say they charge 'local prices':

owenwhitecatlin.co.uk/about-us

There is no getting away from the fact that this issue can't be sorted without some expense on your part. Call or email the local solicitor, ask how much a consultation would cost for advice on your issue. At the consultation get an estimate of costs for having them handle the case and then take it from there and try to negotiate a modified package if their proposal is too expensive. Are you nervous or intimidated by solicitors? Don't be. They just provide a service, same as a plumber or an electrician. You'd negotiate a price with a tradesman wouldn't you, so you can do the same with a solicitor. And just as you wouldn't try to wire your own house in case you electrocuted yourself, you shouldn't try to sort out a convoluted legal issue in a foreign country without expert help. Best of luck.

Life / Moving to Poland, Ireland, Belgium or Finland? [15]


That's a bit of a myth really. Irish people are more superficially friendly in that they're very relaxed and will chat easily with strangers but it's hard to get beyond the casual acquaintance stage with the Irish.


You mean it looks physically like San Francisco?? Don't see the similarity myself. It's a good place to be if you're very into cultural things like ballet, opera, art, music but the city itself is not the friendliest place. Cork people are considered quite 'clannish'.

It's quite hard to find a job in Ireland outside of Dublin. If you work in Galway or Cork and lose your job, it can be a struggle to find another. Also the cost of living, particularly rent is very high and outside Dublin public transport is almost non-existent.

Now having said all that, there are plenty of people who move to Ireland and are very happy there, but whatever country you're considering you really need to do your research first.

You mention Prague - if you're Czech, you might find it easiest to adapt to Poland and it's not too far from home. You could give it a try for a year or so.

Life / Moving to Poland, Ireland, Belgium or Finland? [15]


In what way? Do you mean because they speak English?


There are only two Irish cities, Dublin and Cork. The rest are really just towns, even Galway. The coastline is beautiful but grey skies, rain and high winds are there year round. Of course there's a bit of sunshine and the temperatures are moderate, never very hot, never very cold but there's no escaping the fact that the weather is depressing.

Life / Differences between Irish, British, Polish, American and other nations culture, tradition, music - loose talk [241]


Hate that digital sound. Years ago I did a bit of singing and always used an analgoue mic even though digital was already fashionable. The analogue is so lovely and warm and rich in tone. It enhances the natural sound, whereas the digital gives that terrible processed sound, kind of like the difference between fresh veg and tinned. Though I must admit I have a weakness for tinned peas :D, not tinned muzak though. I also think the overuse of compressors is an issue in modern musical production techniques.


Very important to those who have them!

Life / Stereotypes about Polish people being stupid? [281]


I think it could be done but the logistics of it would be huge, especially in a country the size of the USA. I think one way to go would be to gradually make it the standard in your most disadvantaged communities and work outwards from there because in the Montessori Magnet schools with a large number of black students (70% or more) it's been amazingly effective. It could make a huge difference to some of the social problems in America. But it would probably take about fifty years realistically to replace the entire system across a nation from pre-school to secondary.


To be a good Montessori teacher you need to be willing to surrender your own ideas of how you think things should be and follow the Method. If you do that, it works. However that requires a degree of humility on the part of the teacher and many of them simply can't resist doing their own thing. But if you start tweaking it and changing a bit here and a bit there, it doesn't work. Simple as that. You have to accept that Montessori based her system on observations of thousands of children all over the world, she was tireless in that respect. She observed their natural behaviours and then designed the materials, the enviroment, the curriculum, the teaching approach, everything, around what she observed. That's why it's so effective.

Life / Stereotypes about Polish people being stupid? [281]


Do you mean, as a system of standard state funded education? Or do you mean, how big can an individual school be, and still be effective? The main problem I see is with getting enough decently trained teachers. Any school is only as good as its staff in the end.


I think there are so many other factors at work in life that you can never absolutely level the playing field but raising it significantly is certainly a satisfactory outcome in my view. Parental involvement and committment to the Montessori approach makes a huge difference though and ironically the kids from the 'better' homes sometimes fare less well in that respect. Upper income bracket parents often focus on achievement, excellence, competetiveness and incentives/rewards for 'good' work or behaviour, which are at odds with the Montessori approach. Montessori really is a philoshophy and approach to life, rather than simply an academic education method.

For the best results you need to carry the approach right through in your home life as well and that takes some effort because it feels unnatural to many parents who are accustomed to 'helping' their children with everything from putting on their coats, cutting up their meat, making their beds, picking up their toys, bribing them, wheedling, coaxing, praising etc. Also many parents are fixated on their child's self-esteem which they think is boosted by constantly telling them they are wonderful and that also is very much in opposition to Montessori.

Life / Stereotypes about Polish people being stupid? [281]


I can only say that Montessori education definitely has permanent effects. An increasing number of studies are being carried out especially on children from disadvantaged backgrounds who've been randomly selected on a lottery basis for Montessori state funded schools. In one case in East Dallas, the local high school graduation rate for such children was 50% but for the kids who had attended Montessori, it was 94% with 88% going on to college.