I don't think I've ever heard of a microwave being used in a fight before!
Or lying round in a graveyard, unless one of them had been shopping in Argos or wherever and was on his way home. Perhaps he just carries a microwave everywhere he goes in case he feels peckish and there's a handy power source.
I wonder how the police found out. Maybe the one who got hit grassed him up (after waiting 30 seconds and going ping). Perhaps there were spectators. Every Adaś, Lolek or Aldona in Britain has probably now heard of the criminal injuries compensation scheme, and Poles in general are not always shy to grass on people.
if england is anything like california
He'll do 4, minus any time spent on remand which is counted as double. A lot depends on his conduct inside.
Why were they getting hammered on vodka in a graveyard? That wouldn't go down well here.