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The Polish Wedding - What is it Like in Poland?


Harry
6 Mar 2012 #121
Depends where in Poland you're talking about.
pam
8 Jul 2012 #123
Merged: Polish wedding traditions

My friends are getting married on the 27th in a civil ceremony, and i am one of their witnesses.
Due to lack of time, i haven't had a chance to ask my friends about polish traditions, as they are more concerned with dresses, suits, rings etc.

I did explain a couple of english traditions e.g bride wearing something old, new, borrowed and blue (usually applies more to church weddings though )

Do poles have stag/hen nights? Do they have anything traditional to eat on the day as for eg wigilia?.The reception is taking place in their home, so they will be making their own food.

More worringly, i don't hav e the faintest idea what to buy as a gift. They have everything for the home and i would like to get something a bit more unusual.
poland_
8 Jul 2012 #124
i don't hav e the faintest idea what to buy as a gift

Envelope with money

Tradition after the service

1. Everyone lines up and gives the newlyweds wishes flowers and a envelope with money.
2. At reception they will be given ' A loaf of bread and salt' Two glasses to choose from one with water the other with vodka, whoever gets the vodka will rule the roost.Speeches are not normal although plenty of stolat's are so make sure you arrive with a well functioning liver...
strzyga
8 Jul 2012 #125
At reception they will be given ' A loaf of bread and salt'

That's from the parents, if they're there.

Do poles have stag/hen nights?

Some do and some don't. It's increasingly popular but nowhere near obligatory.

Do they have anything traditional to eat on the day as for eg wigilia?

no, maybe just the wedding cake

i would like to get something a bit more unusual.

Do they have any interests/passions? If not, money is the safest way out.

polish traditions

One thing I can think of is the penny shower - like rice shower but you use pennies. And they're supposed to collect them all.
PennBoy
8 Jul 2012 #126
Polish wedding traditions

fight.. it wouldn't be a Polish wedding without it ;)
FUZZYWICKETS
9 Jul 2012 #127
trains. polish weddings constantly have people lined up in a train, walking in circles.
beckski
9 Jul 2012 #128
We did the conga at my cousin's Polish wedding. It was lots of fun.
NorthMancPolak
9 Jul 2012 #129
fight.. it wouldn't be a Polish wedding without it ;)

trains. polish weddings constantly have people lined up in a train, walking in circles.

We did the conga at my cousin's Polish wedding.

Mine didn't have any of these, and my wedding couldn't have been much more Polish if it tried.

Lots of fat rhythm-free uncles trying to dance, though. :D
pam
10 Jul 2012 #130
Thanks everyone for advice.
They won't be getting a loaf and salt as neither set of parents will be attending .All i know is that they are definitely having Polish music! Must get round to asking some questions!

As regards giving money, i suppose it's practical, but how do you decide how much to give? Potentially embarrassing if some give more than others.

Reminds me a bit of dreaded present lists the English have, everyone finds out whose chosen what eventually.
So i guess i need to go armed with flowers and pennies then!
Hipis
10 Jul 2012 #131
As regards giving money, i suppose it's practical, but how do you decide how much to give? Potentially embarrassing if some give more than others.

Depends on how well you know them and what you'd be prepared to spend on a present if you were to buy one and obviously what you can afford. At the end of the day it's your gift and it should be private between you and the bride & groom so as long as you're not too stingy or over generous then no one else should know how much you gave them.

There's a thread here related to what you just asked. Have a read and see if that helps
polishforums.com/society-culture-38/wedding-present-polish-friends-much-money-should-give-53530
teflcat
10 Jul 2012 #132
As regards giving money, i suppose it's practical, but how do you decide how much to give?

300/pair, I'd say, for middle income folks. We were given money, and of course cash is always welcome, but a well-chosen gift will be with them forever.

I know you said they've got everything for the home, but how about this. I gave friends high quality salt and pepper mills about twelve years ago. They told me recently that my gift is the only one they use on a daily basis. Good quality linen napkins or tablecloths will last a lifetime. How about a fine picture frame? Have fun.
Margareta
1 Feb 2017 #133
I've been to many "Polish" weddings in the U.S. It did seem to be the point to get drunk. But even when I was a kid, it was pretty disgusting to be around all those men and some women who were so drunk they couldn't stand. I hope I haven't hurt anyone's feelings.

A very important thing is the food. There must be lots of it. Polish people always feed their guests and make sure there's more than the guests will finish.

I've seen that the men who request a dance with the bride will pin money on her dress.
The older women gather around the bride and sing and sing. Songs about love, travails, hopes. All sorts of things. Of course they sing them in Polish.

The Polka is an Americanized version of Polish dancing, I was told. TRaditional dancing in Poland, perhaps pre-WWII, was more stately. Or, the person who informed said it was. But he was descended from nobility.

I thought it was the mother in law who removed the veil and put a cap on the bride's head to tell her she was no longer a girl, but a married woman who would have much to do in a household. Sometimes the mother in law would be a bit gleeful. And the bride would cry. Because in many cases, the bride would move in with the groom's parents and the bride would do her husband's mother's bidding. Tradition. Perhaps this was regional in Poland. But it did happen in the US.
Ironside
1 Feb 2017 #134
I hope I haven't hurt anyone's feelings.

People gather together and get drunk. That is an ancient rite. Across humanity, nothing 'ethnic' about it. You're detached and biased elitist or a poseur.

who were so drunk they couldn't stand.

You are not going out much do you? The only difference between 'Polish' wedding and 'American' wedding is that those who want to get drunk go to a bar or somewhere else and get rightly soused rather than hang about the reception and offend young impressionable souls.
Strzelec35
24 Apr 2021 #135
alwo, why do they think the whole beach belongs with them near warsaw on the other side of the river if they are shooting some stuff like wedding videos why do they do it there and tell people to get out their way or shoo people away when its a public beach? wouldnt it be smarter for them to find private locations or pay fir private access to such spots? and why are their women so bitchy all the time?
Cargo pants
24 Apr 2021 #136
whole beach belongs with them near warsaw

LOL you have started becoming a local again by calling the sandy Vistula river bank a beach.
pawian
3 Sep 2023 #137
Most weddings in Poland are religious. Tradition!







pawian
6 Sep 2023 #139
What is happening in the second pic???





Alien
6 Sep 2023 #140
What is happening

The bride collects small coins and others help her.
pawian
6 Sep 2023 #141
Yes, a coin shower. It is a new custom adopted from overseas, I suppose. I didn`t see it decades ago.



jon357
6 Sep 2023 #142
The person from the couple who picks up the most (or is given the most) is blessed with luck and looks after the family finances.
Alien
6 Sep 2023 #143
blessed with luck and looks after the family finances.

Usually it is the bride.
pawian
9 Sep 2023 #144
the bride.

Yes, because other collectors give her the coins which they pick from the ground. It is a discrimination of males in the marriage. Ha!

t is a new custom adopted from overseas, I suppose. I didn`t see it decades ago.

15 years ago when my sister got married in Poznań, they were showered with rice, AFAIR, also a new tradition then.

The group photos are an old tradition in Poland.



jon357
9 Sep 2023 #145
coins

Perhaps they'll switch to contactless or PayPal.
Alien
9 Sep 2023 #146
It is a discrimination of males in the marriage. Ha!

As usual, you are right, in a traditional Polish family, the woman keeps the money, although the man earns more.
pawian
9 Sep 2023 #147
in a traditional Polish family, the woman keeps the money,

My family is traditional but it is me who keeps the money. Being frugal by nature, I am a better protector of it.

Best wishes and presents can be offered to the newly weds in front of the church. Or later - in the reception facility.







GefreiterKania
9 Sep 2023 #148
in a traditional Polish family, the woman keeps the money

Maybe in margines społeczny families, where the man is a drunk or something!

In a normal family the husband is the Minister of Finance and the wife is the Minister of Health. :)
Paulina
9 Sep 2023 #149
@GefreiterKania, I disagree - it's common in Polish families for the wife to manage the family's finances (so they're the Minister of Finance, the Minister of Health, the Minister of Education, etc. etc.):

wyborcza.biz/biznes/7,177151,28189419,kobieta-przejmuja-kontrole-nad-rodzinnym-budzetem-coraz-czesciej.html

And it looks like that Polish women are better at managing money than Polish men:

mycompanypolska.pl/artykul/kobiety-maja-mniej-pieniedzy-ale-lepiej-nimi-zarzadzaja-i-nie-wpadaja-w-dlugi/11428
GefreiterKania
9 Sep 2023 #150
kobieta-przejmuja-kontrole-nad-rodzinnym-budzetem-coraz-czesciej.

That only proves that Polish family life is deteriorating.

I am lucky enough not to be acquainted personally with any family where a woman would be in charge of finances - for me it's margines społeczny. Sorry.


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