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The nature of Polish jokes?


OP Teffle  22 | 1318
7 Oct 2011   #61
If he has observed sth bad

Only Polmed herself Seanus - her "opinons" and hypocrisy.

Not to mention her selective interpretations of other threads.
Seanus  15 | 19666
7 Oct 2011   #62
Some look for conflict. A certain kind of disgruntled woman will do it and they aren't in short supply here. That wasn't a joke btw :)
polmed  1 | 216
7 Oct 2011   #63
the Caucasian race so Teffle can't be racist

You probably dont understand a term " racist"

"Racism" and "racial discrimination" are often used to describe discrimination on an ethnic or cultural basis.

Having read this you may know that spreading derogatory comment about another ethnic group is racist . If you dont know what ethnic group is just read more about the subject or read this :

An ethnic group (or ethnicity) is a group of people whose members identify with each other, through a common heritage, often consisting of a common language, a common culture (often including a shared religion) and/or an ideology that stresses common ancestry or endogamy.[1][2][3] Another definition is "...a highly biologically self-perpetuating group sharing an interest in a homeland connected with a specific geographical area, a common language and traditions, including food preferences, and a common religious faith".[4]

Members of an ethnic group are conscious of belonging to an ethnic group; moreover ethnic identity is further marked by the recognition from others of a group's distinctiveness.

Those ethnic groups formed nations long time ago, you know , and we call them Poles , Germans and others .
Seanus  15 | 19666
7 Oct 2011   #64
Who's the native speaker here? Sorry but I can't be racist towards a Pole. Ask any educated native.
polmed  1 | 216
7 Oct 2011   #65
Seanus

A certain kind of disgruntled woman will do it and they aren't in short supply here. That wasn't a joke btw :)

I am sorry , but what do you know about Poland and its people to spread xenophobia here .Dont comment on me, if you don`t know me . Your buddy called me a " ***** "- is it the way you would refer to your friend , but you think it is ok to call a woman on a public forum by such names . Congrats .
hythorn  3 | 580
7 Oct 2011   #66
Who's the native speaker here? Sorry but I can't be racist towards a Pole. Ask any educated native.

I am a native speaker and what do you call being prejudiced against another nation?
it could be Welsh people hating English people for example

What word would you prefer?
sectarianism?
discrimination?
being differentism?
polmed  1 | 216
7 Oct 2011   #67
Seanus

Sorry but I can't be racist towards a Pole.

You are maybe a native speaker in English, but you are not the smartest one .
pgtx  29 | 3094
7 Oct 2011   #68
Back to the topic, please.
ShortHairThug  - | 1101
7 Oct 2011   #69
IT student just met a new girl, gorges looking but epileptic. Going all out for the object of his desires he spared no expense, flowers to greet her, dinner by the candlelight in a nice romantic restaurant, night out on the town the works, at the end of the evening he gathers enough courage to invite her to his room. One thing leads to another, they started to make passionate love at that point she experiances one of her episodes of epileptic seizure. Panicky, disoriented and confused, IT student calls the emergency: - Come quickly. My girlfriends’ orgasm just crashed!

Kowalski's daughter went on a brief visit to London.
- Dear family it’s great - she wrote - so many stores - in each something different, one can spend days doing shopping. kiss ... Your Ola

A week had passed, she writes:
- Beloved, it’s wonderful here, especially the pubs – it would be a sin not to visit one of them in the evening. kiss... Your Ola.

Another two weeks goes by.
- Dearest, sensational. Health clubs, massage salons, plastic surgery clinics offering their services for a ridiculously low price!. I’m tempted to stop by one of them one day - perhaps a better nose? (Ha ha ha) Just out of curiosity, of course, I'll see. Your Ola.

Three weeks later.
- Beloved, paradise; one does not want to leave. Oh, by the way: the plastic surgery I told you about in my previous correspondence - cool thing, the procedure has gone splendidly. Your Alexander.

During his tour of the States, Khrushchev visits the exemplary middle school. The classroom they visit happens to be a religion lesson. Not intimidated by this Khrushchev asks the students: Who were Adam and Eve? To which students reply in loud chorus - Russians! Happy with the answer he just got Khrushchev confidence grows so he continues to proceed and asks the children: Why? – You see Mister Khrushchev not only they were barefoot and naked but they were stealing apples as well.

The priest gives the last rites to a dying man and calls upon him: - Renounce Satan! – No! - says the dying man. The priest repeats his statement: Renounce the devil and his work! – Once again he hears a firm No! by the dying man. Curious as to why a dying man would not renounce the devil the priest asks: Why not my son? Oh FFS, I just don’t want to **** off anyone before I know where I’m going.
bullfrog  6 | 602
7 Oct 2011   #70
Polmed

How can such a pretty face as yours be so full of hatred??
Seanus  15 | 19666
7 Oct 2011   #71
If having the highest academic law degree you can do isn't smart then I'm a monkey :)

Anyway, back to the topic. I've been here for years and am well placed to comment. Do you know what a joke is?
boletus  30 | 1356
7 Oct 2011   #72
Winnie the Pooh jokes

Winnie the Pooh, being a real bear, fell asleep for the winter, sucking his paw. Piglet, being a real pig, shamelessly exploited it.

Winnie the Pooh sits by the campfire and roasts Piglet. Suddenly Christopher Robin approaches:
- What are you doing?
- You know Christopher Robin, I am sick of honey.

In the Hundred Acre Wood a great boar appeared. Everyone hid in their homes. The boar walks to the Pooh's home and knocks. Scared Pooh asks:
- Who's there?
The boar answers:
- It's me, Piglet. I just came back from the army service!

Winnie the Pooh and Piglet are on a canoe trip. They float down the river, slowly and pleasantly, paddling here and there occasionally. Suddenly Winnie the Pooh knocks Piglet on the head! Poor Piglet turns around and asks with tears in his eyes - for what ... why?! And Winnie the Pooh says:
- Because you pigs always plot something!

Pooh and Piglet found a huge jar of honey in the forest and they decided to eat it.
- Pooh - Piglet says - this is too much for us, let's call Christopher Robin, so he will help us eating this honey.
- Ok, so let's do it - I'll run for Christopher Robin and you Piglet, go home and bring a spoon, for eating this honey.
Piglet goes home, gets the spoon and returns. He looks around - there is no trace of honey, only Winnie sitting under the tree with bloated belly, smeared with honey all over his body.
He asks:
- Oh, Pooh what has happened, where is honey?!
- Get out of here pig, or I barf all over you.

polmed  1 | 216
7 Oct 2011   #73
If having the highest academic law degree you can do isn't smart then I'm a monkey :)

Dont make a fool of yourself , you informed all people here on this forum in one of your posts , that you didn`t finish law faculty , you were a drop out , honey ,please remember your previous posts, before you post another one .

Bullfrog

How can such a pretty face as yours be so full of hatred??

I am not full of hatred , believe me . I am opinionated and thats a difference .

I am nice but will not let other people call me names . I only cite facts never put personal comments , but if someone starts calling me names - can I defend my position or I should go away and be quiet , what do you think ?
Des Essientes  7 | 1288
7 Oct 2011   #74
I think the expatriates are being a bunch of cads on this thread. They shame Britain and Ireland.
ShortHairThug  - | 1101
7 Oct 2011   #75
After three years of marriage, wife is still nagging her husband as to how many women he slept with: - Come on, don’t be like that - wife enquires - tell me, how many ... - But honey - replies the husband - if you found out how many, you would have long since divorced me ... And so it went ... Until one day the wife said: - Okay, let me put it to you this way, you’ll tell me how many women you slept with and I promise I won’t be offended and we can put this behind us ... Husband looked at his wife suspiciously and said: - You swear that this will not offend you? - I swear! - Replied his wife. You swear you'll never bring this up again? - I swear! His wife promises - now, count! After giving it some thought the husband begins to count: - One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, you, nine, ten .......
OP Teffle  22 | 1318
7 Oct 2011   #76
I simply cannot believe the arrogance and blinkered insanity of this polmed person

Polmed:

You are racist

Polmed:

tittle hater

This was before I "called" her anything, and after an anti-semitic outburst.

What's more she wilfully chose to completely misconstrue comments I had made - and tried to represent the opposite.

She is one of these strange people who think that they can say whatever they like and are immune from any criticism. She also seems to think that she is automatically deserving of respect somehow.
hythorn  3 | 580
7 Oct 2011   #77
I think the expatriates are being a bunch of cads on this thread

I have never been so insulted in my entire life
Seanus  15 | 19666
7 Oct 2011   #78
Polmed is a Polish joke in and of herself. I was kidding about that, being sarcastic. Many British jokes include sarcasm. I graduated LLM on Nov 25 2000 from Aberdeen University, go check it up at the registry. I got a prestigious scholarship to do it. Go ask Peterkins. Only 2/50 applicants got it.

So did you hear about the joke in Polish circles that bigos is from Lithuanian and German sources? Oh wait, it isn't a joke. It's true!!
polmed  1 | 216
7 Oct 2011   #79
I was kidding about that

Seanus , you are so pathetic , from now on you can be a God here on PF , posting so frequently makes you a true claimant to this position .
OP Teffle  22 | 1318
7 Oct 2011   #80
ANNNYYYHOOO...

Really, what I was originally getting at was the structure/type of joke in Poland.

Sense of humour is a different thing - I happen to think that certainly among the Poles I've met anyway, our sense of humour is similar. Similar in terms of situations or things that we find funny, the surrealism that exists in everyday life, the ironies, human quirks and personality types - all that stuff. I can say things or make observations that I don't need to explain the humour of, and vice versa.

It's just when it comes to actual jokes, that tumbleweeds start to roll by. It's wierd.

Like I said, it's almost as if sometimes the purpose of jokes in Poland is to be clever or in some way satirical and actually being funny is secondary. It's the other way round for me.

Maybe it's just me or maybe things are lost in translation a little - but I don't think so most of the time.
southern  73 | 7059
7 Oct 2011   #81
When I use Balkan humor Polki burst out laughing.They really shake from laughter and ask me what I have smoked.
hythorn  3 | 580
7 Oct 2011   #82
all you have posted on this thread have been a bunch of d!ck jokes

Go for it, the stage is yours, give us a joke that is not womb-ferret focussed
Seanus  15 | 19666
7 Oct 2011   #83
Thanks polmed but I'll decline :) Nobody should play God.

Teffle, I still don't quite catch what you mean. It isn't the words but perhaps a lack of exposure to what you have come across. Please try and recall some examples as I'm at a loss.
southern  73 | 7059
7 Oct 2011   #84
give us a joke that is not womb-ferret focussed

Jokes that Poles may like:A black man is hunted by the Ku Klux Klan for raping a white girl.Suddenly he finds himself in front of a gap between two mountains.Behind him the Ku Klux Klan in front of him the gap.He preys:God of the black people please save me.Suddenly as answer to his preys a voice comes from the sky:My son,just walk on air on the gap.The black man puts his foot on air then his next foot and actually starts walking on the air.When he reaches the middle of the gap he finds vaccuum and falls on the rocks.The voice from the sky:Ha,ha,ha bloody nigger.
OP Teffle  22 | 1318
7 Oct 2011   #85
Ah it's fine Seanus. It's too difficult without examples, you're right.

If I think of any I'll post them.

Still, I think the forum and life will still go on without this pet connundrum of mine being solved!
Seanus  15 | 19666
7 Oct 2011   #86
Slainte mhaithe to that :) I also don't know many Polish jokes.
bullfrog  6 | 602
7 Oct 2011   #87
to southern

please explain, i don't get it..typical balkan humor??
southern  73 | 7059
7 Oct 2011   #88
Or another one:A pharmacist gets a young assistant.He decides to let him run the pharmacy for some days to gain experience.The first day the pharmacist asks him:What happened today?-Just an old woman came she had cough and I gave her a syrup.Very good choice answers the pharmacist.Second day:What happened?The assistant says a man came with fever I gave him paracetamol.-Excellent.You learn quickly.

Third day the pharamacist asks:What happened today?-Today boss a woman came to the pharmacy.-How did she look?-Blonde,tall,slim in stillettos and mini skirt till the belly button.-And what did you do?

-I asked her what she wanted.
-And?
-She started unbuttoning her blouse.
-And what did you do?
-I watched.
-What an idiot.And then?
-Then she started licking her lips.She took out her skirt and was left with underwear.She wore stockings.
-And what did you do?
-I watched.
-Bloddy idiot.And then?
-She started undressing her bra and panties.She touched her nipples put her finger in her mouth she laid on the floor with legs open and told me:Baby I cannot see you from horniness.

-And what did you do???
-I gave her collyrium.
bullfrog  6 | 602
7 Oct 2011   #89
ok, mildly amusing..but you must admit hythorn is right, all your jokes come with a sexual component (not that's an issue..)
boletus  30 | 1356
7 Oct 2011   #90
Southern goes through a bunch of psychological tests. Any time the psychologist draws a simple geometrical figure: be it a square, a triangle, a circle, etc. Southern recognizes it as a vagina. The psychologist looses his patience and makes a comment:

- Why is it that you see vaginas everywhere?
- Yeah, then why do you draw them to me all the time?


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