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In need of good Polish jokes about Polish culture, people, etc


GefreiterKania 36 | 1,397
28 Apr 2023 #121
@Bobko

Borders of Kurwa Union look almost exactly like borders of Intermarium. :D
Bobko 25 | 2,055
28 Apr 2023 #122
Borders of Kurwa Union look almost exactly like borders of Intermarium

I was hopeful someone would underline this moment.

Kurwa Union could easily supplant the Visegrad Group as the new locus of regional integration.

Also, special for you Kania - a chart I found very useful:



Paulina 16 | 4,373
28 Apr 2023 #123
Fool. Bobko is never in a bad mood.

Well, you must've been yesterday judging by your rather spectacular meltdown lol But I see you managed to gather yourself up and you're in a better shape today :)

meltdown

lol:

idi
GefreiterKania 36 | 1,397
28 Apr 2023 #124
rather spectacular meltdown

Say what? Bobko had a meltdown? Cool as a cucumber, sweet-talking, charming investment banker Bobko had a meltdown? Are we talking about the same PF member here?

Link please :)
GefreiterKania 36 | 1,397
28 Apr 2023 #126
Thanks, but that's hardly a meltdown. Oh, well...

Anyways, here's a good Polish joke:

Polish lady goes to apply for a driver's license.
First, of course, she had to take an eye sight test.

The optician showed her a card with the letters

'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'

'Can you read this?' the optician asked.

'Read it?' the Polish woman replied, 'I know the guy.'
Paulina 16 | 4,373
28 Apr 2023 #127
Thanks, but that's hardly a meltdown.

How would you call it then? That was a rather strange reaction in a thread about jokes, etc.

nerwus

lol
Alien 20 | 5,010
28 Apr 2023 #128
A Pole, a Nig ro and a Jew caught a goldfish. The fish asks. Let me out and I'll grant everyone their wish. Well said Nig ro, make all Nig roes go back to Africa and set up their country there. The fish will grant this wish. Then the Jew says, fish, make all the Jews go back to their country, to Israel. The fish grants this wish. At the end, the fish asks the Pole, what is your wish? The Pole replies thoughtfully. Now I have no more wishes.
Paulina 16 | 4,373
28 Apr 2023 #129
@Alien, that's a pretty disturbing joke... Why did you post it?
Alien 20 | 5,010
28 Apr 2023 #130
To cheer up Bobko
Miloslaw 19 | 4,953
28 Apr 2023 #131
. Now I have no more wishes

I don't find that joke funny at all.
Anyone agree with me?
Joker 3 | 2,334
30 Apr 2023 #132
I don't find that joke funny at all.

Its only a joke..... Most jokes arent meant to be flattering.

What do you call a black guy standing in a tree?
Miloslaw 19 | 4,953
30 Apr 2023 #133
What do you call a black guy standing in a tree?

I will probably regret this, but please tell us Joker.
What do you call a black guy standing in a tree?
Joker 3 | 2,334
1 May 2023 #134
Branch Manager! LOL
Bratwurst Boy 12 | 11,834
1 May 2023 #135
Does that count as good joke?

I had to laugh so hard.....it's so true, for non-Poles that is, heh:)



reddit.com/r/polandball/comments/1323z2c/little_bundle_of_random_letters/

Who doesn't think of names like K's and such.....huh?:)
Alien 20 | 5,010
1 May 2023 #136
Branch Manager

....and the CEO is in Whitefield?
amiga500 4 | 1,541
18 May 2023 #137
A Polish man finds a genie in a bottle, one decades-old joke goes. The genie offers him three wishes.

The Pole says, "I want the Mongols to invade Poland and then go back to Mongolia."

So it happens.

For his next wish, the Pole also asks for the Mongols to invade Poland and then go home.

So it happens.

For his third wish, the Pole again asks for the Mongols to invade Poland and go home."

I gave you three wishes," the genie cries. "Why did you ask for the Mongols to invade Poland and then go home three times?"

"Because they had to march across Russia six times."
Lyzko 45 | 9,430
18 May 2023 #138
A Polish person related this joke to me about a psychiatrist, although frankly, it hardly seems generically Polish:

Patient: Doctor, my brother thinks he's a chicken!

Doctor: Oh really? Tell me, for how long has your brother thought he was a chicken?

Patient: For at least a little over a year.

Doctor: Over a year??! Why didn't you come to me sooner?

Patient: I would have, but we needed the eggs.
Alien 20 | 5,010
19 May 2023 #139
was a chicken?

we needed the eggs.

He could even be a rooster these days. Strange times have come.
Lyzko 45 | 9,430
19 May 2023 #140
You missed the point here, Alien.
Alien 20 | 5,010
19 May 2023 #141
No, I just developed it further in our gender world.
Lyzko 45 | 9,430
20 May 2023 #142
Jokes never translate from one language to another:-)
jon357 74 | 22,054
20 May 2023 #143
Jokes never translate

Most don't.

If you buy one of those joke books they sell in kiosks in Poland though, pretty well everything in them is lifted from (extremely) old British joke books and translated, sometimes badly.

A better one is the Frenchman, the German and the Pole talking. The Frenchman says "I'm tired and thirsty, I must have some wine". The German says "I'm tired and thirsty, I must have some beer". And the Pole says "I'm tired and thirsty, I must have diabetes".
GefreiterKania 36 | 1,397
20 May 2023 #144
@jon

That's an old Jewish joke originally. You just replaced a Jew with a Pole. :)
jon357 74 | 22,054
20 May 2023 #145
@GefreiterKania
I'll put my hands up and admit to that. It still fits Poles though, and of course European Jews did live somewhere....
GefreiterKania 36 | 1,397
20 May 2023 #146
That's true. Poles and Jews have more in common than both our nations realise. :)
jon357 74 | 22,054
20 May 2023 #147
Latkes/placki, stuff with herring, a huge cultural overlap from centuries of being in the same space.

A very famous British food writer who is Jewish (a gentile couldn't really get away with this one) once joked that the high-fat, high-carb latkes/placki have probably killed more Jews than the Holocaust. I couldn't get away with that one though.
GefreiterKania 36 | 1,397
20 May 2023 #148
Does that count as good joke?

Sure.

It's funny because nobody would call a small boy Zbigniew. They would use a diminutive version (Zbyszek or Zbysiu). Only when they boy grew older would he be called Zbigniew. :)
Alien 20 | 5,010
20 May 2023 #149
Pole says "I'm tired and thirsty, I must have diabetes".

You just replaced a Jew with a Pole. :)

The true is that Jews have higher blood sugar levels, which results in diabetes more often than Poles.
Bratwurst Boy 12 | 11,834
20 May 2023 #150
That's true.

I loved the panel where he just slams his "head" on the keyboard! :)


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