In need of good Polish jokes about Polish culture, people, etc

@Bobko

Borders of Kurwa Union look almost exactly like borders of Intermarium. :D

I was hopeful someone would underline this moment.

Kurwa Union could easily supplant the Visegrad Group as the new locus of regional integration.

Also, special for you Kania - a chart I found very useful:

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Well, you must've been yesterday judging by your rather spectacular meltdown lol But I see you managed to gather yourself up and you're in a better shape today :)



lol:

Say what? Bobko had a meltdown? Cool as a cucumber, sweet-talking, charming investment banker Bobko had a meltdown? Are we talking about the same PF member here?

Link please :)

@GefreiterKania, there you go :):

https://polishforums.com/life/good-jokes-culture-people-19199/4/#msg1906929

Thanks, but that's hardly a meltdown. Oh, well...

Anyways, here's a good Polish joke:

Polish lady goes to apply for a driver's license.
First, of course, she had to take an eye sight test.

The optician showed her a card with the letters

'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'

'Can you read this?' the optician asked.

'Read it?' the Polish woman replied, 'I know the guy.'

How would you call it then? That was a rather strange reaction in a thread about jokes, etc.



lol

A Pole, a Nig ro and a Jew caught a goldfish. The fish asks. Let me out and I'll grant everyone their wish. Well said Nig ro, make all Nig roes go back to Africa and set up their country there. The fish will grant this wish. Then the Jew says, fish, make all the Jews go back to their country, to Israel. The fish grants this wish. At the end, the fish asks the Pole, what is your wish? The Pole replies thoughtfully. Now I have no more wishes.

@Alien, that's a pretty disturbing joke... Why did you post it?

To cheer up Bobko

I don't find that joke funny at all.
Anyone agree with me?

Its only a joke..... Most jokes arent meant to be flattering.

What do you call a black guy standing in a tree?

I will probably regret this, but please tell us Joker.
What do you call a black guy standing in a tree?

Branch Manager! LOL

Does that count as good joke?

I had to laugh so hard.....it's so true, for non-Poles that is, heh:)



reddit.com/r/polandball/comments/1323z2c/little_bundle_of_random_letters/

Who doesn't think of names like K's and such.....huh?:)

....and the CEO is in Whitefield?

A Polish man finds a genie in a bottle, one decades-old joke goes. The genie offers him three wishes.

The Pole says, "I want the Mongols to invade Poland and then go back to Mongolia."

So it happens.

For his next wish, the Pole also asks for the Mongols to invade Poland and then go home.

So it happens.

For his third wish, the Pole again asks for the Mongols to invade Poland and go home."

I gave you three wishes," the genie cries. "Why did you ask for the Mongols to invade Poland and then go home three times?"

"Because they had to march across Russia six times."

A Polish person related this joke to me about a psychiatrist, although frankly, it hardly seems generically Polish:

Patient: Doctor, my brother thinks he's a chicken!

Doctor: Oh really? Tell me, for how long has your brother thought he was a chicken?

Patient: For at least a little over a year.

Doctor: Over a year??! Why didn't you come to me sooner?

Patient: I would have, but we needed the eggs.

He could even be a rooster these days. Strange times have come.

You missed the point here, Alien.

No, I just developed it further in our gender world.

Jokes never translate from one language to another:-)

Most don't.

If you buy one of those joke books they sell in kiosks in Poland though, pretty well everything in them is lifted from (extremely) old British joke books and translated, sometimes badly.

A better one is the Frenchman, the German and the Pole talking. The Frenchman says "I'm tired and thirsty, I must have some wine". The German says "I'm tired and thirsty, I must have some beer". And the Pole says "I'm tired and thirsty, I must have diabetes".

@jon

That's an old Jewish joke originally. You just replaced a Jew with a Pole. :)

@GefreiterKania
I'll put my hands up and admit to that. It still fits Poles though, and of course European Jews did live somewhere....

That's true. Poles and Jews have more in common than both our nations realise. :)

Latkes/placki, stuff with herring, a huge cultural overlap from centuries of being in the same space.

A very famous British food writer who is Jewish (a gentile couldn't really get away with this one) once joked that the high-fat, high-carb latkes/placki have probably killed more Jews than the Holocaust. I couldn't get away with that one though.

Sure.

It's funny because nobody would call a small boy Zbigniew. They would use a diminutive version (Zbyszek or Zbysiu). Only when they boy grew older would he be called Zbigniew. :)

The true is that Jews have higher blood sugar levels, which results in diabetes more often than Poles.

I loved the panel where he just slams his "head" on the keyboard! :)