Love / Korean guy wondering about girls and life in Poland [50]

Must get the eyes tested. I thought the OP's name was sexykoranguy...

Law / Signing a contract from Poland Telecommunication (TP) I didn't understand [20]

Quoting from the ten principles of EU consumer protection document....

As a general principle, you
can cancel such a contract within seven days.
There are a few exceptions though: for example,
insurance contracts and, in some EU countries,
purchases costing up to e60.

Get in quick and cancel it.....

News / Newsweek's The World's Best Countries (Poland ranked 29) [128]

Yes, but a steak in Texas is, at a minimum, half a cow.

Law / Signing a contract from Poland Telecommunication (TP) I didn't understand [20]


There must be a cooling off period allowed otherwise I think Poland is violating EU laws. Talk to TP. Use words like misrepresenatation:)


Wicked, wicked;)

Study / Polish schools and Polish educational system level in your eyes [135]

The acid test - would you rather live in Greece or Poland?

News / Newsweek's The World's Best Countries (Poland ranked 29) [128]

Finland, Finland, Finland
The country where I'd quite like to be
Pony Trekking and Camping.....

Finland has it all

Monty Python are the latter day Nostradamus

I had a Nokia once

News / Newsweek's The World's Best Countries (Poland ranked 29) [128]

..and the UK is before Iran...

<palpable sense of relief>

Travel / Foosball (Table Football) bars in Krakow ? [14]

Ah yes, but is it a Brighouse table?

<showing signs of a mis spent youth>

News / Polish, language of future - Post-apocalyptic [45]


I've heard she can bench press 600 pounds. Be afraid, very afraid;)

News / Polish, language of future - Post-apocalyptic [45]


...is obviously Liverpool since a giant flood would most likely gain an urban improvement grant.

News / Polish, language of future - Post-apocalyptic [45]

Crow - have you been affected by climate change?

Off-Topic / PF - The Omnibus Edition [1502]

Lemmy quote

That was a great time, the summer of '71 - I can't remember it, but I'll never forget it!”

“Every morning you are handed 24 golden hours. They are one of the few things in this world that you get free of charge. If you had all the money in the world, you couldn't buy an extra hour. What will you do with this priceless treasure? Remember, you must use it, as it is given only once. Once wasted you cannot get it back." – someone with more intellect than me.

Tempus fugit, tempers rising. Doesn’t time fly when you’re having fun? It seems like only yesterday when I sat down to write the last Omnipotent Edition when it reality it was last week. One of the reasons I’m having fun just has to be the antics of the members on here of late. We’ve had weird, wacky, feisty, bitchy, informed, uninformed, ludicrous, dumb, dumber, petty, pretty in quick succession. Time to draw breath has been in short supply. The action just keeps on coming. It’s been like an all action movie – dazzling special effects, epic stunts, bodies everywhere but at the end of it all a dawning realisation that there was no plot. Where to start this edition? Whether it is nobler in the eyes of men to pick on a few hapless souls or retain my journalistic integrity that is the question? (Mixed Shakespeare methinks –Ed)

Should I go or should I stay now?

I may be wrong but I thought zetigrek was leaving us. Having burned brightly in a short time with us, she declared her intent to leave us as the increasingly addictive nature of PF was in danger of detracting from her new job. Many warned her that escape was impossible. She laughed at us and declared that this was the end. Poor misguided fool. She knew not that PF member number 6 was indeed Patrick McGoohan.. She probably also thinks the big white balls floating around here are Christmas decorations not Rovers. There is no escape, just changes of user name. We are all just numbers with no discernible identity because…….

A Picture tells a thousand stories

….. they took away our avatars many dark days ago. However, a revolt has been initiated by the gallant figure of dtaylor5632 (see, more numbers). This modern day William Wallis has dared to storm the fortress walls of the mighty Admin. Armed only with a rolled up copy of the Scotsman and his trusty Swiss Army Knife he, and the other who emerged timidly from the safety of the local Starbucks, have shaken the shadowy leader to the extent that there may be a chance we will get them back, albeit smaller and at the cost of paying for the upkeep of the site. Small avatars will present problems to the partially sighted among us but ,on the positive side, all those images of male appendages will not be realistically sized.

Age discrimination

We all know that under EU law this is a no no. However, since the site is hosted in someone’s basement in Santa Monica we are free to taunt the toddler and punish the pensioner as much as we like. And we like it a lot. Just ask Allison. She comes here with a fresh set of eyes on Poland, the Forum and indeed life in general. And what do you lot do? You mock her and tell her she is too young to understand. You close your old tired eyes to the wisdom that she imparts. I mean, look at some of the threads she has started in a matter of weeks:

 Are Poles typically nasty people?
 Thread for pc westerners to discuss issues related to Poland (are you a pc)?
 Why in some relationships one person wants kids while the other does not?
 ORDER IN THE COURT!!!!
 I have an extreme fear of displeasing authority does anyone else know how I feel?
 What do you think of this?
 Why are the Italians and Polski so much alike?
 blonde extinction thread
 Tomorrow is my birthday!
 Nice looking single guys?
 The most good looking single men on pf?
 Mirror mirror on the wall who has the biggest head of all?

How can you all fail to engage on meaningful debate on these subjects? We must all be nice to her from now on.

AJ Watch

I have been remiss of late in mentioning the huge contribution made on here by AJ, Arien and probably under countless other user names. It is often the case that we fail to sing about the real heroes, the likes of AJ. He is always there to lend a sympathetic ear, to smooth over troubled waters

JustysiaS:
you're a bimbo!

Allison:
You're nothing but a crotchety old piece of sh*t.

f stop:
You are pathetic. And laughable.

“I think you girls have more in common than you would like to admit.”

He was the only Dutch voice of reason throughout the World Cup. All round good egg, despite being a Cloggie.

And now the end is near

Actually it IS here. Bye bye people. Anyone reading this is free to enter my new spread betting competition. I predict a spread of between 3 and 4 suspensions during the next seven days. Go low if you think it will be less, go high for more. If you win you get an old, battered Titleist pro V1 golfball and a free date with Southern.

Off-Topic / PF - The Omnibus Edition [1502]

So that's why you are always short of cash...

<nods sympathetically>

Life / What is the reason for POLISH jokes ? [486]


Best not to tell that in Manc though. I have found that divide too over the years. The one exception is Geordies (Newcastle for those of you who do not recognise the term) with whom I always get on well with.

Off-Topic / PF - The Omnibus Edition [1502]


Don't worry, the next edition is dedicated to bit part players. You might make it in;)

MG - pas de beer belly.

Off-Topic / PF - The Omnibus Edition [1502]

Hallo there Dear Reader (no I’m not a North Korean with a lisp).

Times are hard at present. The bailiffs are camped outside the East Wing. My investments in sure fire Icelandic companies have gone belly up, the UK economy is down the pan, the wife still has a love for Jimmy Choos and the Bank of Dad has been hit hard. Therefore I find myself having had to grovel to the psychotic Editor to get my old job back. So here I am, back in the old familiar hovel, pounding the keys on the BBC Micro and once again trawling the combined thoughts of a million PF contributors to bring you a new edition of the now legendary Omnibus Edition. (don’t you mean ludicrous –Ed)

Getting back into the swing of this job was a daunting prospect. In my wilderness year a number of you have filled in with an occasional column. How could I hope to follow your efforts I thought? Then I read them and the comeback seemed to be a little easier.

Enough of me (already I find myself agreeing with you Szar –Ed) and on to the news:

Handbags at ten paces

Some bird called Paulina is accusing old sheepy of being a patronising stalker who cannot resist replying to her threads (Szar the bird is a bloke –Ed). OK, some bloke with an even more misleading user name than mine is having a pop at Seanus. Seanus is responding and a whole bunch of us are sitting back egging them on. Some of the hangers on have pulled up chairs and ordered in the popcorn and beers for the big fight. A certain lady from Texas is elbowing people out of the way to get the best seat. Historians amongst you may notice similarities to the behaviour of the old grannies sitting down to watch the lopping off of Royal Heads in Paris a few years back. Knit, one, pearl one, shout ‘knock his block off’. Things have turned nasty now and under the amended Marques of Queensbury Rules proposed for the final countdown, both participants have been ordered to empty the contents out of their handbags before they start swinging. This should avoid the, albeit, remote possibility of either of them actually being hurt. That is unless of course pgtx objects to the lack of real action and pummels the two of them. After all she is a) female and b) Polish which in my experience is a combination capable of inflicting considerable harm following a perceived misdemeanour. This one should peter out pretty quickly so get over there as quick as you can.

Drink up ye cider

Apparently not in Warsaw you won’t.Tony2462 (you might want to lose a few pounds sir) is having trouble finding his favourite tipple out there. The idea of not being to find any sort of alcohol in Warsaw is a little perplexing to me. It’s like being stationed in the monitoring unit at the North Pole and claiming you can’t get any ice cubes for your Gin and Tonic. (Give it a few years –Ed). Anyway, Harry has told Tony to meet Sally, no sorry, Harry has told him to phone a bloke called Jacek who can sort him out with few crates. I’m beginning to wonder if there is anybody in Warsaw that Harry doesn’t know. Presumably Tony can Phone Jacek, give him the password, meet up, give the secret handshake and, after the money has changed hands, walk away with a very large brown paper bag. The things we do for love! It sounds like there is a gap in the Polish market for genuine scrumpy, to be drunk in dark bars in Praga by aspiring artists who can’t afford or spell Absinthe. It’s cheap, it’s cloudy and it’s going to make you rowdy – that will be the marketing slogan.

Goodbye tat hallo Tatiana

Riledwobbler has announced that he is to leave his idyllic rural retreat in Polska with its period woodworm and rusting farm implements to follow his heart to the mean streets of Moscow. His love for whatever her name is has shone through. This could not have been an easy decision for the old beanfart to have made, despite the years of enduring years of severe winters with no heating and the nearest thermal undies shop being 400 Kilometres away. It must be love, love, love as Labi Siffre used to sing. I wonder if his first name was spelt correctly. So good luck to the Harleyman. I wish you a long and happy relationship. Just like mine in fact, but without the bruises. Only joking. I am not a battered husband to link slickly to another topical thread of late. On that subject, if you are looking for a battered husband I understand they sell them in chip shops in Glasgow alongside the deep fried Mars Bars.

That’s about all I have time for now. I really must sit down to read some more on here. There are so many interesting topics to delve into. Twenty pages of blaming British Petroleum (er, we all just call it BP Mr Obama) for everything. Liability has been admitted and dues will be paid – unlike Bhopal. It’s probably halved my pension but don’t worry about me in few years time. I can always go back on to the streets. I got 37p last time (busking, busking you dirty minded little herberts). I enjoyed the World Cup banter. It got a little fraught at the end and how you can blame Howard Webb is beyond me. The man is beyond reproach (er, three bookings, the Poland fiasco – Ed)

Until next time I will sign off. Take care and don’t forget to hug a Pole on the 14th August. My lawyers inform me that a hug exceeding ten seconds constitutes violent sexual assault so don’t get too carried away. Thanks to MG for arranging the day.

PS – I have to confess the real reason for starting the column again. You see I’m in Manchester and afraid to go out at night and have lots of time on my hands. On that note, I wish the Manc meet up members a good night out.

Love / All Polish women can't be nutters can they? [257]

Southern, You're not an architect by any chance are you? I mean, it was a Polish girl so there must be a 75% chance she was going out with you at the time.

Food / I am a cider drinker, where to get it in Krakow [40]


... because cider is the Devil's own brew

<once played fizz buzz with real Devon scrumpy (Farmer Gray's near exeter), fell asleep in a bush, was ill for days and it took twenty years before I could even smell cider>

Happliy I am OK now. Good luck with your search!

News / New cross war in Warsaw [530]

Fundamentalist <insert any religion here> get right on my t*ts. Lock 'em up and play white noise to them for three weeks then pull out their toe nails one by one. If they still shows signs of defiance subject them to 48 hours of Leonard Cohen.

Love / Need help and assistance to ask polish girl out [48]


He did but it was reversing at the time;)

Nothing was straight forward for the poor man.

Off-Topic / Introducing: The Hug-A-Pole-Day! [53]


Are you asking me about my period of internment at her Majesty's pleasure or my marriage?

PS I hug my Pole every day - usually during visiting hours.

On the 14th August I would like to hug Pani A. Pan M may not be amused. Even platonic gestures are frowned upon.

Off-Topic / Introducing: The Hug-A-Pole-Day! [53]


And what a good one this is. Perhaps we can nominate exactly which Pole our fellow inmates have to hug.

Love / Polish women are the most beautiful in the world! [1718]



Must you?

The keyboard is starting to resemble bacon quiche, the mouse looks like blackberry crumble and I'm starting to have irrational desires to eat my pen.

Love / Polish women are the most beautiful in the world! [1718]

Can you all stop talking about tarts. I've missed lunch and I'm hungry. Thank you.

Life / Turnips on my doorstep in a Polish apartment - is it a custom? [17]

Dear Turnip Bob,

Did you by any chance once manage the England football team? If so it's the reporters from The Sun having a laugh.

UK, Ireland / What's the rule on 'the UK' but just 'GB'? [60]

The Grand Duchy of Luxembourg, the United Kingdom, The People's Democratic Republic of South Yorkshire .... these are not plural.

Love / WILDROVERS FIVE YEARS IN POLAND....come to an end...! [132]

I wish you all the best for your next exciting installment of Life on Beans....


Nice.

Life / Who's Leaving Poland? [138]


I'm half elf half human. I.e worked in Poland for the best part of four years but came home 3 weekends out of 4. Now entirely out of Poland but have a slice of Poland at home anyways. Four out of the five people who worked with me out there who decided to stay are still there four years later.

Life / What would YOU do to make life in poland better?? [72]

Hmm. Actually Poland exceeded my expectations the first time I ever went there (which was way before them damned Ruskies pulled out). In my view the postives have always outweighed the negatives. Some people just can't cope with things being different, not necessarlily worse just different. Sure there are things that could change for the better, even for Poles but the changes in twenty years have been pretty dramatic. I just hope that your real sense of identity isn't lost in the headlong rush to embrace the changes.

FIX THE PLUMBING IN OLDER APARTMENTS IN WARSAW (that's a cry from the heart from me)

Love / Polish Girl & Me...Is She Interested? [57]


So true... but I guess the OP has worked that out for himself having read the replies so far (my own included);)