szarlotka 8 | 2,208 24 Oct 2007 #1Time is money….money is precious…. The Precious is mine… With the ever increasing popularity of PF, the increasing number of members and the sheer volume of posts it is becoming more and more difficult for the busy Executive/Roofer/PA/Student/Layabout/Troll/Nincompoop* to keep up with what’s happening on here. Therefore, welcome to the weekly omnibus edition of PF.(*delete as appropriate)Our team of dedicated, highly educated, committed and unemployed (Ed -unemployable you mean) researchers have kept a watching eye on the last week’s proceedings and have distilled them into an easy to read summary of all you need to know. This will free you up to get out more often and do more of whatever it is that you like to do.The Big Important BitsPoland had an election. Someone called Donald Tusk and his party called the PO won it. Lots of people thought it was good and lots of people thought it was bad. Mainly these were Polish people’s views. Dumb idea electing an American property developer in our view but, hey, we don’t live there.Someone wanted to know whose side Poland will be on when World War III kicks off, which incidentally will be three hours later than planned to fit in with CNN, Sky and Al Jazeera’s broadcast schedules. There were many views on this. Most people seemed to be plumping for neutrality. However, ConstantineK put the cat among the pigeons by stating that Russia was really out to rule the world. Lukasz responded by claiming that that would be difficult to do given that Russia’s GDP was on a par with that of Rwanda. The authority on this matter – the big white cuddly dog- added confusion by claiming that whichever side they were on Poland would attack Germany first. In the interim ConstantineK has declared war on Lukasz and is at this moment cycling across the Steppes to occupy Lukasz’s home.In the meantime Crow was dismayed at the sight of Slav brothers arguing with and invading each other. Having failed to stop the invasion plans, Crow is now sitting back to see the outcome of this act of naked aggression, his hope being that the result will be a free Lusitania or some such place that used to exist as a nation. Incidentally we believe that there is a free Lusitania in every pack of Cheerios at Tescos right now.Zeze (is his surname top?) told the world that the Irish were to adopt Polish an official language which caused a bit of a kafuffle. Road signs would be longer and no-one can pronounce the Polish for Guinness, Craic or Michael Flaherty. Anyway it turned out to be a storm in a tea cup and my Granny doesn’t have to learn Polish after all. Daffy got the hump at people’s stupidity (will he never learn?) and put us straight in a school masterly sort of way.Giles took some dodgy medicine and nobody really cared that much.Someone called ‘Desperate’ Dandeano claimed that all Poles in the UK were racist. On present estimates he knows over 700,000 people well. That Face Book is great eh? He was put in his place though.What’s Love Got to do with it?Where do we start? OK, Firstly there was an outrageous piece of queue jumping (which would have been appreciated by the old ladies of Warsaw) by Hmmmm, who in an act of unbridled passion let his true feeling for the lovely Justysia slip despite her having told the PF of her engagement to a 6’ 5” Scotsman. In a masterly put down display of heart breaking Hmmm was sent packing. So that’s Supermodels 1 Super Heroes 0.David from FL is going to get married to his lovely Polish GF – congratulations from the team . The boss here sincerely hope that the lovely Eva is less accurate with inanimate objects than some (one) of her compatriots.Craigie_bhoy is going to ask his GF to marry him. Krzysztof has given him the words in Polish so in maybe 10 weeks time, after a lot of practice, Craigie will do the deed.Lots of general flirting and cyber crush toing and froing going on but as yet nothing concrete to report.Desperately Seeking ZuzannaThe usual set of I want a Polish Girl/Guy two liners with spelling mistakes occurred. Interestingly there were fewer requests for visas to go with them this week. Could this be as a result of the UK Statistical Office announcing an increase in population of such magnitude that it would be less crowded staying at home?There was a nice original post from an American guy, with picture, that shone like a beacon of honesty and respectability amongst the sea of desperation. Nice post sir.Random BitsThe Big White Cuddly Dog again repeated his claim that he would be the first five star poster. Difficult to see anyone beating him now to be honest.Bubbawoo was on great form in the resurrected Random Abuse Thread. Broadsides all round – great stuff. dziwna_gruszka provided the ‘blondie’ moment of the week by asking why people were being so nasty to each other on the thread. PricelessWispi announced that she was not going to be around for a while as she was off to Germany for a while – Kindergarden Exchanges are a great idea don’t you think?Krysia is advocating do-it-yourself circumcision to someone over the Pond who wants to take this step. Still no new cartoons from the maestro though.Fisz knows beer that is 21 per cent proof. Wow. They used that for the Saturn 5 then?Newbies AhoyHundreds of the buggers showed up. All shapes, sizes, nationalities and degrees of intelligence. Too many to mention but we pick out two for you:Stevie-vee who is off to Zakopane boarding and wants to know that it is true that you get a free Blonde with every lift pass and Yogi-Bear who, being a Liverpool fan, is obviously a great chap and we should hang on his every word.Well that’s it from the team now. Time to pop out for a grapefruit juice or two. Be careful out there people.