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Posts by natasia  

Joined: 21 Jun 2008 / Female ♀
Last Post: 29 Jan 2013
Threads: Total: 3 / Live: 2 / Archived: 1
Posts: Total: 368 / Live: 316 / Archived: 52
From: oxford
Speaks Polish?: yes
Interests: yes

Displayed posts: 318 / page 7 of 11
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natasia   
10 May 2012
Genealogy / I love Asiatic influences in Polish peoples' faces [59]

I don't know ... maybe. In English we would say someone is a 'tartar' and that means they have that slightly Mongolian look, and have heritage from that period of a very strong, violent tribe from the mountains. I thought this was associated with the Tatry mountains in Poland, but I could be totally and utterly wrong. Anyhow, it all seemed to make sense in my mind. But could be nonsense! Sorry if so.
natasia   
10 May 2012
Law / Polish child maintenance-why do they need to know my sons earnings? [3]

If she is applying for child maintenance, then the earnings of your son should not be taken into account.
If she is applying for maintenance for herself, it would be.

In the UK, the ex-spouse and the court can ask the new partner to reveal their financial circumstances - but only ask. If the new partner refuses, they cannot force him or her. It would be an idea to check if that is possible also in Poland. Your son should, I think, send a letter back saying that he prefers not to inform anybody of his earnings, and see what happens. Or, he should ask why. Or, he should go to a UK lawyer or Polish lawyer, depending where he is (you don't say if they are in the UK or Poland).

Either way, he shouldn't just answer with his earnings - he must take advice first. He might not have to reveal them. And of course the cost of raising his child with the Polish girl should also be taken into account.
natasia   
10 May 2012
Love / Can Polish men date with Chinese women? [23]

All the Polish guys I know have at one point or another expressed an interest in oriental girls and said they like them because they are small/pretty/cute/etc. ... so I don't think you need to worry. If he likes you, the fact that you are from China will be something good, and will be the opposite of a problem.

Polish people in general can be very conservative, but a lot of the younger generation are much more adventurous, and actually are very keen on other cultures and 'exotic' partners - and you are exotic!! And that is great! So I think you should feel happy and be yourself.
natasia   
10 May 2012
Genealogy / I love Asiatic influences in Polish peoples' faces [59]

I know a Polish guy who looks very Mongolian - really very very. But this is just the Tartar influence, isn't it? There seem to be the dark-brown-haired, almost olive-skinned Poles, who are generally quite short/stocky, then the very fair Germanic/Scandanavian types, and then the Tartars. They are always very dark as well - always dark/black hair, dark eyes. The characteristic oriental cheekbones and really quite narrow eyes that I imagine the poster has noticed. Then also there is the thick-set, big-boned, large-faced Russian-mix type, which can include a bit of Tartar/Mongolian as well.

At least they've only got three or four types. We Brits are absolute mongrels in comparison!!
natasia   
10 May 2012
Law / Poland father right to be mantained by richer sons [4]

In the UK, he can apply for maintenance from his ex-wife. If he has children of the marriage under 18 or in full time education and living with him, he will have more chance of getting spousal maintenance.

As I understand it, he can only apply for maintenance from his ex-wife. He could also, if she owns property, apply for a share of that property (half). If, however, when he got divorced he signed a 'clean and clear break' agreement, then he can't ask for anything from his ex-wife now.

I don't think he can ask for maintenance from his sons. I have not heard of that in the UK. They were not married to him ...
natasia   
9 May 2012
Life / You've been in Poland a while if .... [49]

Today my passengers don`t need reminding and they dutifully fasten seat belts

i still have that problem with some of my Poles in England ...
natasia   
9 May 2012
USA, Canada / Living in Poland - prospects for Alabama guy ... need some advice! [146]

Respect to anyone who manages to make it over there, though - even if they dare to disrespect my (ahem) "sexual preferences" ;)

now what does that mean? have i missed something? sounds like a rather bold non-sequitur to me ... but pls enlighten me.

making the switch

so very little chance of you making the switch ... what switch? from men to women? women to men? dogs to horses??
natasia   
9 May 2012
USA, Canada / Living in Poland - prospects for Alabama guy ... need some advice! [146]

calling Jason a loser because he doesn't want to teach English is a bit too far in my opinion

????? Nobody called him a loser because he didn't want to teach English. It wasn't me, anyhow. NMPolak said that we all know what happens when Polki go back to Poland with a loser who is only capable of being a TEFL teacher. You've got that a bit mixed up (loser BECAUSE TEFL teacher, not because not ...).

Of course Jasono isn't a loser. And he isn't going to teach English. But ... it will be different over there, when they are on his wife's home territory, not his. Having said that, she is defiantly not one of the 24/7 slipper-wearing brigade, so she will no doubt be different in other ways as well. She is the other type of Polka, I suspect ... the type I love and among whom I have several really really good friends ... the intellectual Polki. They are usually great people. So we should stop telling him to worry about white handbags and having all his furniture stolen by his in-laws, because he hasn't got that kind of wife, by the sounds of it.
natasia   
9 May 2012
Life / You've been in Poland a while if .... [49]

My wife allows my kid to go barefoot willy-nilly

wow - get her DNA checked - you absolutely sure she is Polish??? Unless ... oops ... you've got one of the reactionary ones! Better keep a close eye on her ... They can be troublesome ; )

You've been in Poland a while if ... you think wearing seat belts is for pussies. (so you fix your car so that the seatbelt beep doesn't ever go off)
natasia   
8 May 2012
Life / You've been in Poland a while if .... [49]

and if, as a female ...

You have come to understand that eating is an entirely unnecessary activity.
You appreciate the colour white as a fashion statement.
You only feel fully dressed when sporting matching shoes, gloves, hat and belt.
You feel naked without your slippers.
You feel a mixture of rage and panic when your child is not wearing their slippers.
and
You are able, on receipt of a large bunch of flowers from a visitor, immediately to unwrap them, cut the stalks off and arrange pleasantly in a vase in c. 3.4 seconds, whilst also serving up a delicious home-cooked meal with the other hand. (as opposed to the English skill of putting them gratefully on the draining board, drinking too much wine and finding them all wilted and surrounded by washing-up the next morning ...)
natasia   
8 May 2012
USA, Canada / Living in Poland - prospects for Alabama guy ... need some advice! [146]

and we all know what Polki do when they move back home with some loser in tow, who is unlikely to ever amount to much more than becoming a TEFL teacher :)

yep ... has to be said ... he is left minding the baby while she 'relaxes' with 'friends' ... and then he gets a thick ear when she comes back the next morning, just for asking where she's been ... and that is only just the start ... and he will still have to keep buying the cigarettes, bringing the coal in, mopping the parquet floor and killing the Christmas goldfish ...

Jasonczyk, it has to be said that the dynamic will change beyond all recognition, probably, when you live in PL.
natasia   
8 May 2012
USA, Canada / Living in Poland - prospects for Alabama guy ... need some advice! [146]

You'd be a lost soul in Poland, man.

No, don't believe it. You would FIND your soul in Poland! : ) Actually, I'm sure you have a firm grip of your soul and do know exactly who you are, but I think Poland would interest you, daily, in a lot of ways, as you seem, dare I say it, a thinking guy who engages with what is around him with no small degree of insight.

Look, I lived on an exquisite Greek island for a year and half when I was 21/22. It was a paradise. And a tiny place at that, with only a thousand or so residents in the winter. I had everything one could wish for in terms of natural beauty around me, and I was adored by the village where I lived (no exaggeration). My long golden hair to my waist, my innocence, those cheekbones that come in handy in Poland because they seem Slavic, the green eyes ... it all worked. Old women and young men alike wept when they saw me. I was known universally as 'The Girl'. Seriously.

And then ...

I came back to rainy London, peopled by friendly-ish, moderate-ish mongrels, nice enough as they are. And a job came up in Poland. For two weeks before Xmas, two weeks after. Then I would have started a job I had fixed up in London. And I though 'hey, why not? Let's go see Poland'. I went. A greyer and more dismal lunar landscape one could not have found. The startlingly spartan and shabby concrete towers that strode across those endless flat planes of grey and white. The people hunched inside their monochrome coats, and existences. But once knock on a scratched metal door in a graffitied concrete corridor, and it is opened, and ... my God. What people. What energy. What life. What love. What colour. The people were that splash of colour in Poland. I loved them, immediately, in all their obvious mortality and need, with their hearts, however proudly hidden, still quite visible on their sleeves. And for me those monstrous blocks, those dirty roads and blackened walls, the dark canals and beaten trams that cross the cities ... that all became some kind of beautiful landscape for me.

I guess I fell in love with it all, with them, with the romance, the pathos ... just all of it. So don't ask me, probably, whether you should go, because I will say yes, yes, go.

And I haven't seen the half of it. My next plan is the mountains, to the South.
natasia   
8 May 2012
USA, Canada / Living in Poland - prospects for Alabama guy ... need some advice! [146]

I don't see a return trip, like this century.

fair enough : )

What do I know? I won't get in a plane (watched too many 'clean air turbulence fatalities' vids on You Tube to consider it prudent), so I guess am not going to be run over by a street car (or, indeed, crushed beneath a collapsing building, courtesy of the San Andreas Fault) too soon ...

Again, I vote Poland for you.
natasia   
8 May 2012
USA, Canada / Living in Poland - prospects for Alabama guy ... need some advice! [146]

co-dependence, or whatever. But we're tight. And she doesn't want breakfast from her favorite crepes place bad enough to be a single mother to get them.

Ok, that's good. I know that scenario. So then indeed the real question is: Poland or Malibu? : ) ... If I lived in the States, I would be asking to check out California first. But I just like beaches and sunshine and the idea of those Spanish haciendas and 1977 beach parties and wine country and all of that. And everyone always tells me that San Francisco is one of the nicest places in the world. But then I know v little about it, apart from old TV shows.

For what it's worth: I think you should try Poland. I think you would find it immensely valuable, actually, in further knowing your wife. And I think it's important for your child. And I think you should keep learning Polish.
natasia   
8 May 2012
USA, Canada / Living in Poland - prospects for Alabama guy ... need some advice! [146]

You would, of course, be safe, but I think your heritage would be noted/noticed in a way that I imagine it wouldn't be in the States, and even if on a subtle level, 'conclusions' would be drawn about you. I think what Meathead is flagging up is that there is still a very real awareness of where people come from/how the fit in, among particularly older Poles. The opinion I come across most is that somehow the Jews hijacked the sympathy vote for the persecution that happened during WW2 - that 'millions' (always the figure quoted in these discussions) of non-Jewish Poles were also affected, but nobody 'cares' about them. (because ... they are not rich and have not been able to make themselves influential/put themselves in a position to make blockbuster films about it all, etc.). So it isn't any kind of aggressive anti-Semitism, but more a lingering resentment and mistrust.

I think, unfortunately, you will come across it, whether it is overt, or in the general undercurrents of feeling informing how people treat you.

Poor old NMP - what did he do?! I was the one who suggested England. It was only a thought.

I kinda got the reverse-scenario here, with my wife absolutely despising my mother. It's gotten to the point where I actually have to take my kid over to visit her grandmother by myself, the blood between them is so bad

I am more worried about this. It is all tipping in the direction of ... you just do what your wife wants. I don't think there's a choice about moving to Poland, is there? She is going whatever. She can't see the US as her home. Poland has to be. For her career, for her family, for her happiness, and as a place where she wants her child to be brought up. So your choice isn't really a choice ... you will have to get on with it. You aren't just 'thinking of' moving ... you are moving. And in terms of what you do when you get there - you will have so much to take in and think about, maybe writing about it is what you will do. (Not just on PF though, as rather counter-productive in terms of earning hard cash ... certainly seems to interrupt my paid work enough ; )
natasia   
7 May 2012
USA, Canada / Living in Poland - prospects for Alabama guy ... need some advice! [146]

Really? Are those things free? I don't think so, or at least, what you get 'free' always needs supplementing.

Sorry but I can't believe you think that having to buy your kid's pens and books for school is a rip-off ... Don't mean to sound so astonished, but really? They don't cost much. And Polish state schools, in general, are so so much better academically than UK ones, and there is much more uniformity of standards. OK, maybe you have to buy the pencils and textbooks, but ... what's important here?

I think the Polish school system is something worth being there for. Ok, the health system all costs, and things are pricey, and if you are on a 'native' salary you will not be able to do anything. But you speak English as yr first language ... there must be something you can do. Even if you spend 2 weeks working in the UK then come back with yr salary for the remaining 2 weeks in Poland ; ) ... I don't know. Teacher's salaries aren't bad, and you can supplement easily and well with private students, can't you?

But this has nothing to do with Jasono and his choice, apart from to say 'don't be put off by the schools - they're good' ...
natasia   
7 May 2012
USA, Canada / Living in Poland - prospects for Alabama guy ... need some advice! [146]

English is my native language.
I have had 2 years living in Poland in my early 20s, my first husband was Polish, but we spoke English, and I had a break of 6 years, and now have had 5 years speaking Polish with second husband, who hardly speaks English. So yes, I have had, one could say, 2 yrs in the country (although mostly among Brits), then 5 years intensive exposure. Our child is totally bilingual; I only speak English with her.

Ok, so I did have a patent for language-learning. I did Latin for 10 yrs (now that IS difficult, as no living language to help), French & Italian at school, and then lived in Greece and picked that up very quickly (much easier than Polish, despite the slight difference in alphabet).

Sh*t hot to me is that Poles think I'm Polish. Ok, maybe been living in the UK for a while, but still undoubtedly Polish. Am only saying that because it is an example of how it is possible to learn Polish. Without doing much apart from sleeping next to someone ... as I said, by osmosis.

BUT I have to say that when I was among Brits in Poland, most of them were completely useless at Polish, despite their best efforts. But they did try, to their credit. I knew an American girl - lovely girl - but struggled worse than any Brit with it. I wonder whether it's to do with openness of mind, on some deep level, or something ... who knows. Not something one can really generalise about. V much down to the individual.

Oh - and for the English tongue, French is MUCH harder than Polish - takes far more effort to pronounce convincingly (easy to speak hilarious English-style French, though - hard to be good at).

I can't figure out Polish's music, and it definitely has one. It SOUNDS more lyrical than French even, but it's rhythms elude me.

You just need to be there. It has a very strong, very distinct music ... the cadences and intonations are not dissimilar to those of some Southern European languages. Poles are also rather fiery. I say they are the Italians of the North.

Excellent prose, and good advice. You're one of those scary-smart people, huh? The shop horror mirrors Pushbike's unease at sitting deaf and mute at the supper table, the dread of always being "the other".

Thank you ... and no, not really a brain-box ... just seem to drink in languages. I still feel the unease and the shame, though, like poor Pushbike, even now - it is like stage-fright. I used to try to work sentences, etc, out in my head, but have found that the instinctual, musical response generally works better, and is more accurate. We are taught to put languages together like building blocks when we are at school, but the artificiality of that approach falls down so often, in so many ways. The thing I was reminded of most as my daughter acquired language was how repetition is the total key. Blind repetition of tiny elements of language. Like sticking bits of tissue paper to a frieze. Once they are on, they are there forever, but catching those butterflies in the first place is the trick. You will only do it by repeating the same action a thousand times.

Well look at me, waxing lyrical. I am enjoying expressing myself in my first language for a change ; )
natasia   
7 May 2012
USA, Canada / Living in Poland - prospects for Alabama guy ... need some advice! [146]

But OK, let's get his hopes up and tell him that "it's not that bad" and "if he works hard at it" and "at least you have your wife to translate!" or some other crap like that.

It depends how easily you pick up languages. I don't work hard at it and I am sh*t hot at Polish and I don't find it difficult ... that is not anything for me to take credit for, as it just sinks into me by osmosis. So ok, yes, Polish isn't the easiest, but how hard or easy depends to quite some degree on the learner. Granted, we don't know what he's like at language learning. So it might be horribly difficult for him. But if so, I also think he'd be sh*t at French, even after 10 yrs ...

They should move to England. No doubt.
natasia   
7 May 2012
News / What should Poland do to solve the population crisis? [101]

Come up with a specific incentive package to encourage some of the young ones to come back ... but then again, there isn't enough cash in Poland to look after the sick and old, so cash to bring back the young is non-existent. Better to rely on the hard cash the young send back, to look after their own sick and elderly. Isn't that the system?
natasia   
7 May 2012
USA, Canada / Living in Poland - prospects for Alabama guy ... need some advice! [146]

do to it's insane difficulty

please don't tell him that ... it really isn't true ... it just depends on your natural facility with languages. OK, so I guess for some it would be insanely difficult. But for others it is cool, fine, not really such a problem.

I will never forget the excruciating embarrassment I used to feel, aged 22, standing in one of the tiny, packed general store-type shops that there were on every residential street corner almost, and going through in my head the combination of endings I needed for the accusative version of whatever I wanted, possibly plural, possibly involving quantities, and the dread of that moment when I got to the front of the queue and, like in a ski lift, had to jump in quick or would be run over by the impatient old bags who would have had me up against the wall and shot in a second just for my stumbling ... The little room would stiffen with astonishment as I gingerly tried out what I thought it was that would get me that loaf of bread or bag of flour or whatever it was ... sometimes the things were on the top or near the front, and I could point at them, but God forbid if they were on those shelves way back behind the counter ...

It was a prickly kind of misery that I can feel now, years later. And I still vaguely feel it, even though nowadays people just think I'm Polish, such is my integration. BUT, and this is it the whole thing - that is the excitement, challenge, joy of breaking through to someone else's world ... the thorns do scratch, but it's amazing when you get there. You re-invent yourself, and everything, by that segue into another culture. Personally I think it is very cool, but an open mind is the absolute prerequisite to success, and also never ever thinking it is impossible, because ... like learning to drive, it might feel totally counter-intuitive and awful, but you will get there in the end.

I ain't about to shack up somewhere where NEITHER of us can speak the language and be understood.

well, there is somewhere, in Europe, where everyone speaks pretty much the same language as you ... and it's only a couple of hours from Poland, so only like living in Boston and her parents being in NY ... and there are lots of Poles for her to befriend ... and you could then still keep learning Polish ... and there's an amazing free health service, and all sorts of other useful facilities ... and you would have your independence, in all sorts of ways.

Oxford has quite a lot to recommend it : )
natasia   
7 May 2012
Life / Why is circumcision not practiced in Poland? [701]

I couldn't give a rat's a$$ where it came from. I also couldn't care less what "side" Poland is on.

hate to be boring but wasn't all that what this whole discussion is about?

funny that you can't just say 'i have my opinion, but others are of course entitled to theirs ...' You just got us all going when you kept saying the foreskin should be removed because it is imperfect and going to give us all cancer or something else unpleasant, and that all women prefer circumcised ones anyhow ... but thanks, it was fun : )
natasia   
7 May 2012
Life / Why is circumcision not practiced in Poland? [701]

like how "wrong" is wrong enough to cut it off?

well, the simple answer is, not wrong enough in this case ... or, as some would have it (me among them), perfect and not in any way wrong, so totally no physiological or aesthetic grounds for its removal.

Fuzzywickets, stop this nonsensical defence that the foreskin is 'not automatically perfect just because Nature designed it' and that that therefore somehow justifies cutting it off ... please ... circumcision is not based on medical or hygiene grounds. It is to do with deep-rooted cultural/religious 'notions'. And Poland is on the 'what? No way!!' side of the argument ... (omg i am so impressed with my constant referral to the original question ... no wonder I am so good at exams ; )
natasia   
6 May 2012
Life / Why is circumcision not practiced in Poland? [701]

Well, I guess that what you (plural, all males) think about what we (plural, all females) think about your dicks is ... something that sometimes does cross your minds? In the same way that we probably wouldn't want to do something to our bodies which made us less attractive to you.

But as I imagine you know, I was just joking.

Everyone should just go and read up on the history of circumcision around the world on Wiki. I know we are supposed to express our own original opinions here, but we do also need to get our facts from somewhere, and that's as good a source as any.

Some interesting titbits. For example, the Greeks didn't like circumcision at all, because they felt that a man was only truly naked when the foreskin was pulled back, and if you cut it off, then he was always on display. A view reflected here quite strongly in this discussion. And the reasons for circumcision or not were always cultural, the medical/cleanliness arguments always having only been to give validity to often religiously-based practices. There is stacks of myth about all of this - that circumcision was a rite of passage in some societies, or a punishment in others, or something done because apparently a snipped dick is less good at producing sperm that will thrive in all women, so good to have a hubby with one ... i.t.d.

I just thought it might be fun to look at everyone's dicks, that's all. Remotely, as is. Thought it could be so presented as to be relevant to the topic ...
natasia   
6 May 2012
Life / Why is circumcision not practiced in Poland? [701]

I think we should invite the male members of this site to post themselves, as it were, and then we females can have a good butchers (perhaps not the best choice of idiom) and say definitiwnie which we prefer ... this may lead us to a sensible conclusion as to why circumcision is not generally practised in Poland ... (practise being, of course, with an 's') (said the schoolmarm)
natasia   
5 May 2012
Life / Why is circumcision not practiced in Poland? [701]

if a complete idiot posted, "getting bit by a king cobra is bad for your health," it would still be true, because it's a fact.

just like this fact?

yes, yes i believe it does because i know for a fact that millions of women across the country nodded their heads during that episode in agreement

natasia   
4 May 2012
Life / Why is circumcision not practiced in Poland? [701]

its about preferences on both sides ;)

I'd better not start going into my preferences, or this thread really will need to be closed for cleaning ...

(I knew this discussion was going to de-generate at some point ; )