Life / Cannabis / Weed in Poland... How much does marijuana cost per gram and how easy is to get it? [355]

@razjuk

Can Poland not be experienced whilst on a sober mind?

Love / What strange/unnerving/funny things do your Polish wives do? [153]


Now that I know the truth, I know where her big nose comes from.

Poles have big noses.

Life / The nature of Polish jokes? [125]


BS. I'm reading some top quality jokes here. Structure and substance very similar to how Russian jokes are crafted.

All you Western haters just don't get it. It's your jokes that are stupid, while ours are brilliant.

Love / What strange/unnerving/funny things do your Polish wives do? [153]


I have to admit, I enjoy cracking a joke at the expense of my lady. Not too frequently I hope. A couple times she told me those jokes are pretty raw, so maybe it's me that started this. On the other hand, she told me a million times that if it were not for my sense of humor she would never want to be near me.

I really don't mind her thinking I'm an idiot. I think it's charming and cute, because I know in my heart she's really the idiot in the family.


Well... I always thought there was something very suspicious about her last name. I won't post it here to save her from the demons of PF, but let's say it's not a typical Russian or Ukrainian last name. I also knew that her extended family in Ukraine seemed rather small by our Eastern European standards. Then one day I started asking her if she knows where they are from originally, and just like that she said "oh we're from Poland". I asked if it's Jewish, or Polish Polish, and she said Polish Polish. To me it was like the explosion of an artillery shell, but for her - she didn't even think to mention it for the first couple years.

Love / What strange/unnerving/funny things do your Polish wives do? [153]


Reading this thread has reminded me of that. Also, it has convinced me that there is no such thing as "Polish women", ""Dutch women", "Ethiopian women", etc... Women are just women, wherever they are on the planet. Although... I recently learned that my "Ukrainian girlfriend" is actually Polish on both sides.

Love / What strange/unnerving/funny things do your Polish wives do? [153]


Funny enough, that just doesn't come up much. Her friend group is something like 40%/40%/20% - Ukrainian/Russian/Other CIS. So even they don't discuss the war much when they get together, because it is too awkward. The topic just kind of hangs there like a dark cloud.

No, I'm an idiot for all the other reasons.

Love / What strange/unnerving/funny things do your Polish wives do? [153]


I sympathize. My girlfriend's favorite way of spending time with friends appears to be when she's telling them what a rare idiot I am. Whenever those banshees visit my apartment, I try to do the polite thing and come out to say hello, but then try to scurry back to my room as soon as possible. There I pretend to be busy on my computer, however I can actually hear everything!


Wow, this seems eminently reasonable. How about getting yelled at for not turning out the socks before throwing them in the laundry hamper?

Life / Owning a house in true countryside of Poland - stories [679]


Parsley, bro... Until today I did not know that Poles use the same word. Петрушка.

I'm constantly forgetting what the hell petrushka is called in English, and was shocked to see you - an Englishman - using the Polish word instead when everything else you wrote was English.

Also, have to say you write very well about food. Had no difficulties imagining it.

Off-Topic / Russian Views On Poland and Vice Versa [382]


You are a real masochist. Any normal statistical Pole would say one Russia is enough, only Pawian would say "give me 12x more".

The Force is strong with this one.

Off-Topic / Russian Views On Poland and Vice Versa [382]

@pawian

The primate is in my cage, and that's all I was hunting for. Now that I have you here, tell me - how deep is your love for Russia?

Also, Poles getting lazy.

Off-Topic / Russian Views On Poland and Vice Versa [382]

Seeing as I get banned with nearly 100% certainty after engaging in the "Polish Aid to Ukraine" thread, I will ask here - in my safe place.

What are the expectations in the Polish press regarding the impending offensive? Has there been any reaction to what BB had mentioned yesterday, regarding Pistorius being pissed off at all the other EU countries for f*cking Germany's brain for 6 months about tanks, only to have zero ready to ship after Germany finally gave in? Any further discussion on ammunition stocks?

Bottom line, are people in Poland settling into the realization that this year may be harder than the last, or is there still an expectation for a rapid resolution to the conflict?

In American media I feel a tectonic shift, where people are starting to realize that the end is far out of sight.

History / The great mistakes of Poland's history? [216]

@pawian

Ok if you are lazy I will spell it out.

1) Khmelnitsky Uprising
2) The Ukrainians begin appealing for Russian help against Poland, after Poland initially crushes their rebellion.
3) Russia enters the war on the side of the rebels
4) Russia occupies Smolensk, Vilnius, most of Belarus, and left bank Ukraine.
5) Sweden smells weakness, and invades from the Northwest with its armies stationed in Pomerania.
6) Torn between two fires, Poland collapses in what is known as the Deluge.

You want to continue insisting that Ukraine is not involved with Sweden's invasion?

History / The great mistakes of Poland's history? [216]


Why on Earth would the Turks attack Poland, OVER another country? Seems it would have been Ukraine or Russia's (if we took Ukraine) problem to deal with.


I didn't realize I was back in class. Fine, one day soon, expect it.


Whoa! You are writing new Polish history here. Is this true? Now I must ask you to show me a single authoritative historian who has argued this unorthodox view.

Genealogy / What are common Polish character traits? [417]


This is why we call this person ignorant, and why his opinion is of little interest to us - supremely erudite gentlemen.

Jokes aside, I like how you think. Initially I thought you were a little too... how to say... "radical" for my tastes. That is, I felt you may be a much more spiritual person than me, and that ideas play a proportionately bigger role in your life. Myself, I don't care about much at all, so it's difficult for me when I encounter earnest people such as yourself. It is not the same as talking with Pawian or Kania, for example...

But yes, I actually like how you think. Strip away the dense language and walls of text (I'm guilty of this myself), and usually you are saying something simple but true. In college, I thought there was not enough appreciation for "simple but true", and a lot of emphasis on "seemingly simple, actually complex". Some things do not need to be complex.

Also, to say that what you are saying is "simple but true", doesn't mean I think there's anything simple in your thinking.

Genealogy / What are common Polish character traits? [417]


Really, you can't on the one hand accuse Polish people of possessing an below average IQ, and on the other accuse them of serial deception. As we know from scientists that study the human brain, deception requires the highest order of intelligence. You must be able to correctly gauge the expectations of your listener, and manipulate terms and facts in such a way that accomplishes your goal.

Polonia / Poland in Central Asia [6]

@Alien

And why is that? I'm hopeful it won't be something racist.

If you don't want any Central Asia in Poland, it doesn't mean other people in Poland are so insular minded. They are extremely hard working people, espousing perhaps the most secular version of Islam. Even Turkey seems Islamist in comparison. No hijabs, no beards - just normal citizens of the modern world. A large portion of their population, in some cases, is white. They also produce a lot of energy, which Poland is hungry for. In addition to energy, they produce the entire periodic table of elements. Seems something Poland might need, no?

History / The great mistakes of Poland's history? [216]

@Alien

Ehrm... also not an issue? It is an observable fact. We may be trying to give a little trim to its existing borders, but I'm sure that even after this exercise there will be an independent state of Ukraine (hopefully one where all the Austrian and Polish Ukrainians are gathered. They're poor, stupid, and aggressive and thus will make wonderful neighbors to Poland).

Sovereignty, and how one defines it - that's a different question.

History / The great mistakes of Poland's history? [216]

@Alien

I have no issue with geographic nomenclature.

History / The great mistakes of Poland's history? [216]

After some thought, I think I'm ready to chip in my 50 cents re: greatest mistakes in Polish history.

The greatest mistake in Polish history has been trying to colonize Ukraine. Why?

1) It overstretched Polish resources, and exposed it to distant threats it would otherwise be insulated from (Tatars, Ottomans).

2) Over centuries of investment, return on investment amounted to zero - despite proclamations of "systemic rape" of resources by the Ukrainians. Whatever money the Polish taxman managed to extract from Ukraine was immediately reinvested in security.

3) Being involved with the Ukrainians ultimately prevented Poland from focusing on Sweden, which led to disastrous consequences - some of them, still visible today.

4) Between the Khmelnitsky Uprising, and the Wolyn Massacre - Ukrainians have killed in excess of 1.5M Poles. Some brotherhood that is!

5) Ukraine acts as a constant prize over which Poland and Russia squabble. In effect, Ukraine has prevented the development of Russo-Polish relations for 400 years, something that is undeniably to the disadvantage of both countries - economically and diplomatically.

History / The great mistakes of Poland's history? [216]

An additional burden on Russian Poles (peasants), that was not suffered by Austrian or Prussian Poles, was compulsive service in the Imperial Army. For those that don't understand what service in the Russian military entailed, here's some numbers from Wikipedia:

In 1736 it [duration of service] was reduced to 25 years, with one male member of each family excluded from managing its property. In 1834 it was reduced to 20 years plus five years in the reserve, and in 1855 to 12 years plus three years of reserve liability

Given that most guys would be nearly dead by 50, it meant serving your entire life in the army.

@Alien

After the Congress of Vienna, Russia controlled 82% of the pre-1772 Commonwealth. So when discussing liberation of Polish serfs, it makes the most sense to discuss Russian-controlled Poland. In Prussia serfdom was abolished in 1807 (but Prussia administered its Poles as a simple territorial unit, Posen). In Austria in 1848. However, this affected only a minority of Poles.

History / The great mistakes of Poland's history? [216]

I found a NYTimes article from the archive, for April 12, 1864.

Source: nytimes.com/1864/04/12/archives/the-czars-proclamation-of-emancipation-in-poland-the-epoch-of.html

There you can see, that already then observers perceived that this was an attempt by the Russian Emperor to prevent the Polish peasantry from rallying behind the aristocracy (although obviously tied to the reform in Russia, three years prior).

Excerpt:

The Emperor, in this great and wise measure, has struck the mortal blow to the Polish Revolution. He has met revolution by a counter-revolution. He has liberated Poland. He has withdrawn the Polish struggle from the field of European sympathies. The millions who, on the 15th of April, shall stand up freemen, are so many supporters of the Russian Government, and pledges of its continuance in Poland. The Polish aristocracy are attacked in the house of their friends.

A similar thought process was in operation in Prussia and Austria, it seems. Each despot was competing with the other in how much freedom they could grant their Poles. In this context, it is no surprise that Polish peasants didn't really give two sh!ts about what their national "elite" wanted from them. Every single occupier was offering better terms than their ancient masters.

Here's another interesting excerpt from the 1864 article:

On the 15th of April, by a recent ukase of the Czar, every serf in Russian Poland is to be at once and forever set free from all bondage. He is to own the cottage and the plot of ground which he has been occupying, his time and labor are to be his own, and he is liberated from all claims to service and obligations of labor which his master may have possessed over him. For this great emancipation, he has only to pay to the Government a tax, by which "loyal masters" are to be remunerated. More than this, the Polish serf is to become at once a self-governing citizen. He is to elect his own village officials, his mayor, and sheriff, and justice of the peace -- a privilege which Prussia has never yet granted to the Prussian Poles.

Off-Topic / Russian Views On Poland and Vice Versa [382]


I heard this joke, but with Russians playing the role of Poles. The pervasive envy might be a legacy of communism, or it could be something more intrinsic to our peoples.

Here's a joke just about Russians:

A Russian and an American meet while standing in a filtration line in Purgatory. Eventually they make their way up to the front of the line, where they are informed that Heaven is overfilled, and there will unfortunately not be any "upgrades" available during the next ten thousand years. Purgatory is also at risk of overflowing, and so they're being sent to Hell. As consolation, they get to choose whether they go to American Hell or Russian Hell.

In the American Hell everything is just like it is on Earth, but every morning someone delivers you a bucket of sh!t, and you have to finish eating all of its contents before the following morning. Russian Hell is just the same as American Hell, except you have two buckets of sh!t delivered to you.

Both choose to go to their own respective hells, out of patriotism. Ten thousands years go by, and they again meet in line in Purgatory. The Russian says:

- Hey American! How was American Hell?
- It was alright, I suppose. But eating a bucket of sh!t everyday got really old, really fast. How about you?
- Oh Russian Hell was alright! They either forgot to deliver the sh!t, or there wasn't enough to go around.

History / The great mistakes of Poland's history? [216]

@pawian

In all my years it never occurred to me that the 1861 emancipation reform also had effects in Congress Poland. I'm an idiot.

In part, this was because I had assumed Poland was somehow more enlightened/evolved - and had arrived into Russian possession with some kind of more Finnish configuration.

Very interesting.

In Russia the reform had the effect of creating a massive economic boom lasting decades, but also - in the medium term - serious distress for many former serfs as they ended up landless in many cases, and having to sell their labor to the very same landowners who had oppressed them. Sad as it is, it's not really much worse than the life of an industrial laborer in Britain or Germany - on the other hand. So reform still an all-around success.

Off-Topic / Russian Views On Poland and Vice Versa [382]

Today I read somewhere that one similarity between Russians and Poles is that both believe that:

1) If someone makes more than him - he is a thief
2) If someone makes less than him - he is an idiot

I can confirm this is true for Russians, is it true for Poles?

Off-Topic / Russian Views On Poland and Vice Versa [382]


Your cutting remarks immediately give away that you grew up far from the Slavic heartlands. The only thing I can say is - I speak not from the brain, but from the heart. Lord forgive me, a sinner.

Off-Topic / Russian Views On Poland and Vice Versa [382]


Listen, Miloslaw, I don't put any conditions on you posting - how about you mind your own business as well?

I will leave you with another Russian joke:

A Russian and a Pole meet. The Russian asks him:

- Is it true that in Poland they don't speak Russian, but some other language of their own?

- Why yes, we speak Polish, the most beautiful language.

- Alright, give me some examples.... how do you say house (dom)?

- We say "dom".

- Well that's the same... How about village (selo)?

- We say, "sioło".

- And that's the same too! How do you say ass (zhopa)?

- We say "dupa".

- And truly it is a beautiful language!

Food / Which foods are generally disliked/unpopular in Poland? Which non-Polish foods are slowly gaining popularity? [140]

@Miloslaw

Wow finally Milo and I can agree about something.

Off-Topic / Russian Views On Poland and Vice Versa [382]

@Miloslaw

Eh, are you continuing my joke or... what? I must admit you have discombobulated me with this response.

Off-Topic / Russian Views On Poland and Vice Versa [382]

Another Russian joke about Poles:

A cab driver notices that the German retiree tourist in his backseat is sitting with a sour face.

- Is something wrong?
- Yes, can you please stop bringing up the war?
- Did I bring up the war? You were the first to start talking about it, actually.
- No, it was you that started!
- No, you! It was you that invaded Poland!!