News / Abortion still under control in Poland [2986]

They way i see it, as a Catholic, is that God sends us certain situations in our lives for his own reasons which are unfathomable to us but he leaves us free will to respond them as we will. All the greatest writers and theologians of the Catholic faith have discussed the concept of free will, so central is it to Catholic teaching. The gifts of the Holy Spirit conferred at Confirmation are supposed to help us in making those choices. It is between us and God and other Catholics do not have the right to tell us what to do when we are faced with a moral dilemma.

So, even for a practising Catholic, the doctrines of the church tell them that they have free choice.

Why then, should it be any different for others? Every human being has the right to excercise choice and free will, where such choices are available. Medical science gives pregnant women certain choices, be it whether to have scans, tests, anaesthesia etc. That's the modern world in which the human race lives. It is not up to the state, or a group of people with a set of religious or moral beliefs to take those choices away.

People have sought to avoid conception, sought to abort babies and even resorted to murdering newborns since mankind first became capable of trying to exert control over those activities. Medical science allows these things to be done in an acceotabe and humane fashion. Medical advances are a gift given to us by God, let's use them, according to our individual consciences.

The responsibility of the state is to ensure that medical procedures are carried out ethically and humanely without avoidable pain and suffering. That's what they should focus on.

News / Abortion still under control in Poland [2986]


What one is trying to avoid is placing children in institutional care. Why an orphanage for a child with parents?? If children are born, they should be raised in a family and if their own family does not want them or cannot provide a good home for them, they should ideally be adopted by a family who wants to include them. It is possible to care for quite a severely disabled child, with the right level of support. If the government provides that support to the family be it the biological or adoptive family, it can be done. Of course, it's not just financial or medical support that would be needed, but psychological too. The services of mental health professionals who can give counselling and help to parents and siblings struggling to cope would be ideal.

Then there's the question of what happens, even within an adoptive family, when the disabled child grows into adulthood and loses their parents. What then?

Rather than an orphanage, far better to put funds into some kind of supported living for those disabled adults who are capable of it. But the problem is that it takes vast amounts of funding to provide the right kind of support for a disabled child or adult.

The answer of course is an additional tax on the salaries of the able-bodied/minded portion of the population. But, once again, people's high moral ground gets very shaky when you put your hand in their pockets. One poster here who wants to see severely disabled children born to families on the poverty line, pays for private education for his two children. Would he be happy to sacrifice that and pay the money saved by doing so, into a fund for the disabled? I really don't think so.

And the bottom line is still that women should not be forced by law to give birth to disabled children.

News / Abortion still under control in Poland [2986]

Here's an idea. How about a register of volunteer adoptive parents who are prepared to take on the raising of one of these disabled children as their own? Who wants to bet that such a register would be spectacularly bare of names, including those of the posters here who applaud the tribunal's ruling.

People say 'Poland is a Catholic country'. That's a meaningless statement. Poland is a secular state in which the majority of inhabitants are baptized Catholic and practise the faith to varying degrees, each in their own way. That's the reality of Catholicism in the twenty first century. Following the teachings of the Catholic church is voluntary and up to the free will of the individual. Religious instruction makes that very clear. One's own conscience is the ultimate guide for Catholics. That's why such emphasis is placed on 'examining the conscience' on a regular basis.

When the state starts legislating for matters of conscience and starts trying to enforce the teachings of the church on all Catholics, regardless of their individual practises, you end up with a theocracy.

News / Abortion still under control in Poland [2986]


And it's funny how those in favour of bringing severely disabled children into the world have nothing to say on the subject of the lives of those children, after they're born. Just as long as you can ensure that they come into the world, you're satisfied, but you lose interest in them after that. We won't be seeing you out on the streets protesting on behalf of the disabled, will we.

I see the abortion issue as a moral one, which has to be left up to the conscience of the individual. It's between them and God. If you think that's not the case and that the state should ban abortion on the basis that it's murder, then surely contraception should be banned too or at least be made available only to married couples on prescription.

News / Abortion still under control in Poland [2986]


I wasn't suggesting that, but never mind.

The reports that you mention from medical staff, are the staff and the hospitals named? What is the source of the reports? Have you seen these reports yourself?

The answer to those abuses, if they were occurring on a regular basis, is not banning abortion. It is naming, shaming and punishing those taking part in them and ensuring that abortions are carried out in an ethical, professional and humane manner.

Your example of the little sweetie pie with Downes Syndrome is all very well, but she will grow up in a country that has no means of providing the right kind of supported living for her when she reaches adulthood and when she loses her parents, what becomes of her Torq? How does your conscious feel about her being placed in an institution, possibly a mental hospital or in some cases a care home for the aged? Will you be volunteering to visit her every weekend and take her to your house for Christmas? Maybe you are one of those rare souls, but if so there aren't enough of you.

And where the child is severely disabled and requires residential care, what do you know of such facilities in Poland? What kind of life does the child have there? Are they located close to the family home? What is the parents' involvement in their child's care?


And it won't happen.

dw.com/en/parents-of-disabled-children-occupy-polands-parliament/a-43555600

News / Abortion still under control in Poland [2986]


I would say that if such practices were going on (where did you get your infomation?), in the 21st century, then a public enquiry is long overdue and a complete reform of the health service would be indicated.


Would this be because successive governments, including the present one, have no interest in funding the necessary supports and services for such children and their parents?

News / Abortion still under control in Poland [2986]

For those who are in favour of this ruling, what they don't realize is that it's only a small step from here to banning abortion when there is a fear for the health or life of the mother - and that could be passed in exactly the same way as this ruling has been. It's very easy, when you argue from a fundamentalist Catholic point of view, to say that the mother's life is in God's hands and she will live or die if it's God's will.

Life / Is Poland good for expats with social phobia? [21]


I don't think so. Ireland and the UK are northern countries and the people are not introverted. English people are definitely more reserved but they are courteous and polite as a rule. That's not always the case with Poles. They are not only reserved with strangers but can be very rude and brusque. On the other hand I've met some really lovely, friendly and chatty Polish people. People are people, regardless of nationality or culture, you will always encounter people with good social skills and those without.


Anxiety can be considerably reduced and improved with therapeutic treatment, where the sufferer learns to manage their condition. Bascially you need a good cognitive behavioural therapist. If you can't afford one or don't have access to one, I'm sure there are plenty of books, if you do a Google search.

Life / Is Poland good for expats with social phobia? [21]


I'm the chatty Irish woman referred to by the OP ;-D

I can confirm that I am actually genuinely interested in people - but in a casual way. That's an Irish trait. We are interested in you but that doesn't mean we want to be 'friends', if you get my drift.


Of course not. But you won't get the smiles, small talk etc. that you're seeking for reassurance. Poles don't crack a smile to strangers very often. On the other hand, if you are introduced to them by somebody they know and trust, then they will be very welcoming and the hospitatlity can be almost overwhelming. If they decide they are going to befriend you, then it's a real friendship, not a casual acquaintance. Of course you don't have to be specially introduced. You could become friends if you work together or are both members of some group like a sports club or a choir. They would gradually get to know you and once they issue an invitation to join them for something, then that's the start of a friendship.

Also, bear in mind, that as Poles are not very chatty and smiley to strangers, they won't expect chat and smiles from you either, so the fact that you're shy won't be a major problem. But the other poster, Kaprys is right. If you have a phobia or anxiety disorder, you need to address that separately.

Travel / What is the weather like in Poland where you are now? [211]

Predicted by which forecasting service? I use the British Met office as they're probably the most accurate forecasters in the world. Rain all day today. Wait and see.

Genealogy / Easy way to find out which Polish coat of arm/Clan you belong to. [105]


In Polish heraldry, sometimes a singe crest, originating with a single noble family, is shared by hundreds of unrelated families who adopted it as a result of fighting together or collaborating in some way. Sometimes these families would change the design of the original crest slightly to customize it and make it their own.

I did a search and the only crest I could find with a squirrel was that of the Bazenski family. It's possible that your family adopted this crest and modified it to have two supporting squirrels. There are some variants of this crest for sale on the internet but I suspect they've been modified in modern times to be politically correct and remove the black man. Apparently the original holder of the crest defeated a Moor in battle and that's what the black man signfies.

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  a_bazenskismall.jpg
  

Law / Relocation to Poland from UK & Relationship Breakdown (involving child) [7]


That's a bit of an assumption. The fact that he sold a property doesn't mean he has money. Most people have mortgages and don't get the entire proceeds of the sale as they have to pay off the bank first. He also specifies 'finance taken in my name'. So I doubt that he has a lot of cash to spend on expensive legal proceedings.


There is nothing in the OP's post to suggest that his girlfriend is an unfit mother. That's quite extreme. If she's just a normal, ordinary young woman, then his chances of getting custody are virtually zero.


Sorry I don't pay any attention to celebs :))

Law / Relocation to Poland from UK & Relationship Breakdown (involving child) [7]

Not knowing the details of the two cases you mention, it's impossible to comment. However we do have the outline of the OP's situation and his chances of getting custody at this time are zero.

Law / Relocation to Poland from UK & Relationship Breakdown (involving child) [7]

Hi BritAbroad, very sorry to hear of your troubles. (Sorry we can't use more than three quotes so I've just put your questions below without using the quote function.)

What are my visitation rights?

Under the law you have a right to have contact with your child but there is no clearly set out terms regarding how often etc. That is determined on an individual basis by the court.

What should I expect to pay in child maintenance fees, and does this take into account the cost of travel/hotels to see my daughter?

Depends on where the mother and child are living but as a general rule of thumb it would be around 1,000 to 1,500zl per month. However, once again there is no system in Poland for determining the amount. It's completely up to the judge hearing the case. Your expenses etc will not be taken into account. Maintenance is not decided on the basis of your earnings and outgoings but on your POTENTIAL earnings!! Your own outgoings and expenses are ignored completely.

Mothers frequently demand riduculously high amounts of maintenance from foreign fathers from 'rich' countries such as the UK so expect her to request much more than 1,500 per month.

Could I take my daughter back with me (either for short visits, or permanently)?

For a short visit, in theory yes you could with the mother's agreement but she's not likely to agree to that.
Permanently, no way. You won't get custody.

What could she possibly gain from this situation?
If you mean the mother, then money basically. Especially as maintenance carries on well past the child's 18th birthday, if they remain in education (even part-time studies) or if they are not earning enough to support themselves. The mother could encourage your daughter to do a cash in hand job so that she has no official earnings and still demand maintenance from you.

If I walk away, does that affect my legal position/obligations in a negative way?

Do you mean if you go back to the UK? Well, the courts will be used to seeing British fathers who can't stay in Poland for economic reasons and need to return to the UK, but the mother can use it to try to get your parental responsibilty removed so that you have no rights regarding the child but retain obligations to support them.

You'll need to be prepared for the fact that the mother may well stand up in court and lie blatantly that you neglect the child, have no interest in seeing them etc. in order to have your parental rights removed.

Here are a couple of links that might be of help to you:

polishlawexplained.com/familylaw#childsupport

Below is very detailed information on the EU justice portal. Just click on the area that interests you and then select the Polish flag from the list on the right in order to get information relating specifically to Poland.

e-justice.europa.eu/content_family_matters-44-en.do

Once again really sorry to hear of your troubles. You must feel very overwhelmed. Just take it a day at a time for the present. Best of luck.

Real Estate / Buy an apartment in Warsaw now or wait [14]


Most parts of Warsaw are comparatively safe.

Real Estate / Buy an apartment in Warsaw now or wait [14]


Żoliborz is a bit of a tragedy, a potentially and indeed originally very pretty, almost sylvan place, totally destroyed by the constant noise of the low-flying aircraft going to and from the airport at Babice.

Real Estate / Buy an apartment in Warsaw now or wait [14]


The older ones are better built than the new ones and usually have lovely, original parquet floors and higher ceilings. Some of the older buildings are in a pretty bad state but more and more are being renovated. You can generally get value for money in one of the more modest pre-war buildings which were built as 'workers' housing' back in the 1920s and 1930s. They tend to be on the small side though, so it depends on how much space you want. Most of these buildings are owned by the city and so the common parts, roof and so on are gradually being renovated, inuslated etc. The service charge (czynsz) tends to be low which is another advantage. Your neighbours can be a bit of a mixed bag but their bark is frequently worse than their bite.

Food / What Polish foods and brands do you miss when you go to other countries? [216]


By that logic, people would have forgotten about cinnamon, cloves, nutmeg etc. Allspice is freely available in its ground form because as Roz says it's traditionally used in cakes, particularly fruit cakes. When I was a kid my mother used to make something called a spice cake which was a dark fruit cake, very low on fruit but heavy on the spices. Really yummy :)) It could be eaten on the day it's made, whilst most British fruit cakes are best left for a couple of days for the flavours to develop. There is a commercially made ground spice mix called 'mixed spice' which is the standard addition to many a British cake recipe and which often contains allspice as one of the ingredients.

Real Estate / Geography / Climate Question(s) - I am looking to buy a property in Poland [14]


Don't rely too much on this forum, yes it can be useful for getting people's subjective views and it's fun etc, the personal touch is nice, but it's not the best place to be looking for the answers to legal questions. Some people can give misleading answers or out of date information.

I would suggest that you start using Google Translate and google your queries in Polish, then copy and paste the answers to get the translation. You'll find all the up to date information you need. There are even 'ask a lawyer' a question sites.

With regard to the ROD plots in particular, there are two ways to acquire one. Either directly, from the Association that manages the land, or from an individual who leases a plot. If you approach an ROD management board, it's unlikely that they will sell one to a non-Polish person, especially if they suspect you want to live there. The ROD plots were particularly designed to give urban dwellers access to healthy, outdoor activity, the ability to grow their own fruit, flowers and veg. They are basically recreational plots and not intended as dwelling places. Legally, you can only have a building of up to 35 square metres on them. I have seen some up to 60 square metres, but you could be asked to take it down, so I wouldn't buy a plot with such a building on it.


Yes, even an EU citizen can't buy land above 0.5 hectares for his permanent place of residence in Poland.

Real Estate / Geography / Climate Question(s) - I am looking to buy a property in Poland [14]


Rodzinny Ogród Działkowy - it literally translates as Family Garden Plot. You can only buy one if you're a Polish citizen. Also, although they sometimes come with a small house on the plot, you're not really supposed to live there, only stay in it when you're using the plot for recreational purposes. You don't really own the plot either, what you buy is the right to use it.


Do you mean 25 -30 thousand PLN?? No, you can't build anything for that much.

As @cms says, you really need to do your research very carefully. Don't be tempted to rush into buying something.


That whole region of Poland is sadly, very polluted. Even in rural areas there are significant problems with smog throughout the winter. Air quality throughout Poland is not great.

nytimes.com/2018/04/22/world/europe/poland-pollution.html

Study / Polish Language Classes in Rzeszow [12]

Language schools in Poland are open to all, regardless of your citizenship or nationality :) If you are not in Poland, schools offer lessons via Skype.

I found this place by googling, don't know how good it is:

prime.rzeszow.pl/polish-for-foreigners/

Life / Cost of English Speaking Kindergarten in Krakow? [13]


The child is very young, so the language was not the issue. It's an emotional condition called separation anxiety. It's not surprising given the circumstances. Any change in routine is unsettling for an infant and her daily life/routine and environment underwent huge changes due to your move from India. Add to that, being sent to daycare for the first time and it's quite a potent mix.

Sending her to an English speaking setting may make little initial difference. The issue is about being separated from her primary care giver, presumably her mother. Your child needs a bit of a break with no kindergarten at all for a while, but make sure she keeps mixing and playing and socializng outside the home. When she starts again at kindergarten, you need to inform the manager and class teacher that she's had a few problems previously. Only enrol her if they show understanding and agree that she simply come for a short visit a couple of times a week to begin with and that mother can stay with her. I'm talking very short, about 15 minutes and let her wander around, look at the toys etc. Don't try to direct her to any activity or make her play/interact. Once she gets to know the place as simply a place she visits with mum, mum can withdraw and child can be left for longer periods. Under no circumstances should you leave her for an entire day to begin with. It may also help if she's allowed to bring her own familiar food/snacks at first.

I think that under the circumstances, an English speaking setting would be best purely from the point of view that you, the parents, need to be able to communicate with the staff, very clearly, for the sake of your little girl's welfare and you might struggle to do that in Polish.

One thing you need to really be careful about, is communcating your own worries or anxieties to your child as she will pick up on them and they will make her worse.

You may find this helpful:

helpguide.org/articles/anxiety/separation-anxiety-and-separation-anxiety-disorder.htm

I'm a teacher btw, Montessori, and have many years experience dealing with the pre-school age group, and with foreign national children with no English, in English speaking settings :))

Life / Cost of English Speaking Kindergarten in Krakow? [13]


How long was your child there? It can take a child six months to settle. You really need to give it time and not be too quick to take them out. How old was your child when they started and had they been to kindergarten before? If not, then it's a big, big adjustment and doesn't happen overnight.

As Pawian implies, it's not wise to keep your child out of the Polish speaking environment entirely. At least continue to take them to places where they will have a chance to play with Polish kids, local park, playgrounds, or any kind of play activities/events where kids interact. If they get used to interacting with Polish kids in a casual way, you will find after a while your child will be asking 'please can I go to kindergarten.' :))

Law / Professional Poker Player seeking Polish Laws on Gambling help. [15]


Yes, first thing that struck me was how strange that an Irish person would call a betting shop a 'gambling shop'! In fact he'd call it a bookies, though I can understand how he might not use that term outside Ireland, but even in Poland they have the term bookmaker for betting shops, 'buchmacherskie.'

Real Estate / House owning in Poland - Questions - Which offices are involved? Rules. [26]


They're not your servants. Clearing the snow is acceptable but you have some cheek to expect them to forward your post. How would that work exactly? They gather it together - how often? Every time an envelope arrives? Once a month? Then they go to the post office, queue up (which can take half an hour in a busy post office), send it registered presumably and pay for the postage, which you then reimburse them somehow?? Completely unreasonable expecation on your part.

As for repairs and maintenance, why should they spend their personal time calling tradesmen etc. Their only obligation is to inform you that something needs fixing, It's your responsibility to make the arrangements.

Classifieds / Looking for a good Masseur, preferably for a home visit [7]

Sorry I can't suggest a masseur but as I've had back problems myself a few years ago and I can give you one tip, which is, that you need to keep moving despite the pain. I literally couldn't get up off the bed (this was back in Ireland), the doc came, gave me a muscle relaxant injection and told me 'we need to get you on your feet tonight'. Two days later I managed to get to the chiropractor and he showed me some very gentle exercises. After three weeks of those a few times a day, I was sorted and the back has never been that bad since. When I feel it starting to act up I do the exercises for a few days and it sorts it out. I'd suggest you go on You Tube and look for some exercises from a chiro or physio. They really do work. There's one guy who shows how to get yourself moving if your back has completely locked (which mine did).

youtube.com/watch?v=o3o85zlbOTQ

Make an ice pack from something and alternate that with a hot water bottle if you can , ten mins each,.Ten mins ice, exercise for five mins, ten mins heat will help. Good luck!

Off-Topic / Buying a Russian jeep driving to Ireland [6]


Not the best time to be doing that with the coronavirus restrictions. Ireland will be publishing a list of 'green' countries on Monday. If you're driving through countries that are not on the list (and UK won't be) then you'll have to self-isolate for fourteen days when you arrive in Ireland.

UK, Ireland / Moving from Ireland to Poland. Some questions. [13]


Oh it undoubtedly is - I'd say he's never set foot in Ireland or he'd know that outside Dublin it's a sea of white faces, with touches of purple or red depending on the weather conditions :))


How are you doin'? Did you move yet?? Hope all is well with you :))

UK, Ireland / Moving from Ireland to Poland. Some questions. [13]


Whereabouts in Ireland do you live? Why don't you move to one of the numerous parts of Ireland where there are still plenty of boggers? Cavan would be perfect.


That really is a pittance in Poland these days for a famly of three. Do you speak Polish?


You won't find any of that in an Irish primary school as you should know. They are still predominantly under the patronage of the Catholic church.

You can read the Irish pre-school and primary school religious curriculums here:

veritasbooksonline.com/brand/religious-education-curriculam-of-ireland/

The LGBT bit would be covered in Ireland under the SPHE curriculum which they don't touch until the kids are in the final two years of secondary school. By that time a child will already have formed their basic ideas on that subject already, firstly from the parents and then from their peer group. School plays a very small part.

Btw, as to liberal hellhole, if you're that conservative, you're supposed to get married first and then have the child :)

Travel / Poland in photo riddles - part 2 [1680]

If you can remember which bits of Rszeszów you visited, you could go on google street view and see if you can locate it. That way you'd have the address and could possibly find out something about the building. Btw is that a crucifix on the roof??