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Are Polish still very traditional when it comes to relationships?


Izvirai 1 | 6    
14 May 2010  #1
I know that the question is rather vague, since people are individual in their points of view, but as a generalisation are Polish still traditionalists when it comes to relationships?

For example views on marrying before cohabiting or having children. And does this relate to the strong religious ties that many Polish still have? Or is it more to do with age? Are the younger generation more open minded than the elders?

Besides being just plain curious, i do have a personal reason for asking.
I'm currently in a relationship with a (rather amazing) Polish man. I have 2 children from my last relationship (we were not married, but co-habbing for 5 years) and whilst it doesn't bother him at all, he did say that its something his family will probably strongly disapprove of once they know how serious our relationship is and that we are planning a future together.

So are these traditional views something that can be overcome? Or are they deeply rooted in religion, therefore a much tougher sticking point? And is this way of thinking fairly common in Poland?
Sokrates 8 | 3,348    
  14 May 2010  #2
For example views on marrying before cohabiting

No such views.

having children

Generally after marriage.

Are the younger generation more open minded than the elders?

Duh, yes it is.

Or are they deeply rooted in religion

We're religious not conservative, those are two different things.

he did say that its something his family will probably strongly disapprove of once they know how serious our relationship is and that we are planning a future together.

That might have more with them looking at you as a woman looking for a guy to hook up as her kids father than any traditional matters.

Personally i believe single mothers should be shot on sight to avoid all the fuss and confusion but then thats just me, women are generally inferior beings and i'm not writing this because Maja forgot to peel the f*cking potatoes and left me doing it at all.

Generally it rolls like this.

We meet, we date, we f*ck, we present each other to our parents, we move in to one another and after some time marry, then come kids, then she gets fat and flabby and i get bald and beer-bellied, after a few years i start beating the feck out of her and we live happily ever after.
time means 5 | 1,313    
14 May 2010  #3
Personally i believe single mothers should be shot on sight to avoid all the fuss

Do you work for the Catholic church by any chance? (if not i'm sure they would love to have you) :-)

and i get bald and beer-bellied

What do you mean "get" :-)
z_darius 14 | 3,971    
14 May 2010  #4
So are these traditional views something that can be overcome? Or are they deeply rooted in religion, therefore a much tougher sticking point?

These things can certainly be overcome as they have for centuries.
Heck, if some priests can have girlfriends without getting married to them then why not those who pay for the priests' livelihoods.
dtaylor5632 18 | 2,007    
14 May 2010  #5
Do you work for the Catholic church by any chance?

Haha, he's just a bit backwards ;)
f stop 25 | 2,514    
14 May 2010  #6
we bought ourselves wedding rings, went to empty church and said our vows - between us and God. Then told our families that we were married. This way, my grandma didn't have to wear out her rosary praying for our souls.
Sokrates 8 | 3,348    
14 May 2010  #7
Do you work for the Catholic church by any chance? (if not i'm sure they would love to have you) :-)

Salvation through suffering, stake burning for the win.

we bought ourselves wedding rings, went to empty church and said our vows - between us and God. Then told our families that we were married. This way, my grandma didn't have to wear out her rosary praying for our souls.

Thats the lamest thing i have heard in my entire life, a wedding is supposed to be a BANG event not some emo crap in mommys basement.

I've been blessed with awesome parents but if anyone does like you guys he apparently lacks the spinal core and a nut or two.
f stop 25 | 2,514    
14 May 2010  #8
some emo crap in mommys basement

I have not been to any of those... want to tell us about it?

The lame thing is getting the law involved in the "affairs of the heart" and making a BANG event out of it.
STFU - | 39    
  14 May 2010  #9
The lame thing is getting the law involved in the "affairs of the heart" and making a BANG event out of it.

I do understand why some women get all emotional and fluffy when you declare your love to her infront of the community though. It means you're showing the whole world you're her guy and her guy alone. I get that. But with all these rules and financial agreements it feels like a form of control to me. Perhaps even a sign of distrust? The most important thing to me is equality, and I really can't see how a man and a woman are equals within the institute that's called marriage.

But I do understand the fluffy part!
f stop 25 | 2,514    
  14 May 2010  #10
All true. But you can have all the ceremonies you like! Declare her love to her in front of the whole world! Just don't be stupid enough to sign a legal paper that essentially says that you'll love her forever. Noone can promise this.

It just boggles my mind how many people base their self-worth on some government certifying their union.

lacks the spinal core and a nut or two

And Socrates, it usually is easier to blindly follow the traditions than to question them.
Your awesome parents would probably have been much more awesome without the institution of marriage.
z_darius 14 | 3,971    
14 May 2010  #11
Declare her love to her in front of the whole world! Just don't be stupid enough to sign a legal paper that essentially says that you'll love her forever.

Mallory! Is that you?

youtube.com/watch?v=Slwpt4gtCNg
pgtx 29 | 3,160    
14 May 2010  #12
Are Polish still very traditional when it comes to relationships?

YES, VERY... wife still cooks and cleans and husband still beats his wife...
STFU - | 39    
14 May 2010  #13
No Dtaylor, you can't post funny pictures! Don't you know it's not allowed to post smilies and funny pictures! Shame on you, Dtaylor!

*chuckles*
Sokrates 8 | 3,348    
14 May 2010  #14
And Socrates, it usually is easier to blindly follow the traditions than to question them.

Especially when the traditions make for a f*cking awesome wedding as opposed to being a loner emo creep exchanging bling in some cave.

Your awesome parents would probably have been much more awesome without the institution of marriage.

Also if they had jetpacks and lightsabers, got any more brilliance to share?
Amathyst 19 | 2,704    
14 May 2010  #15
Who said Poles were behind the times..I seem to remember that Brits did that in the 1940s ;0) (exepct the moving before marriage!)
Seanus 15 | 19,716    
14 May 2010  #16
Too much of this 'no sex before marriage' crap. Why not put up the legal age for consensual sex to 22? Oh, I forgot, people still screw after being in nightclubs.

To her credit, my wife isn't that way. I can't be doing with impositional people. Holier-than-thou people can take a hike IMHO.
king polkakamon - | 544    
  14 May 2010  #17
To her credit, my wife isn't that way.I

Never say never.
Seanus 15 | 19,716    
14 May 2010  #18
Nah, she isn't in the least bit Catholic, KP. Whatever that means ;)
king polkakamon - | 544    
14 May 2010  #19
I think we all need some slavic craziness.I cannot stand this tot atmosphere here.
Seanus 15 | 19,716    
14 May 2010  #20
Slavic craziness? I don't think so. Lead or be led :)
Amathyst 19 | 2,704    
14 May 2010  #21
The slut that started sleeping with my friends partner wasnt holier than though...She even knew my friend was pregnant...But Im guessing she's going to have her kid christened catholic (yes she got pregnant after being with my mates ex for 4 months)...Poles are no different to any other nation..good and bad! Wh*res and Angels!
king polkakamon - | 544    
14 May 2010  #22
Wh*res and Angels!

Sometimes it is difficult to choose between the two.
scottie1113 7 | 899    
14 May 2010  #23
and I really can't see how a man and a woman are equals within the institute that's called marriage.

Why can't you? What part don't you understand?
szarlotka 8 | 2,209    
14 May 2010  #24
Sometimes it is difficult to choose between the two.

Simple my bankrupt friend.... angels have wings and if your wallet is lighter.....
Seanus 15 | 19,716    
14 May 2010  #25
I know what STFU means, scottie. He is talking about the reality that most men earn a fair bit more but there is a 50-50 presumption. I got married without a pre-nup but you are playing with fire in so choosing.
f stop 25 | 2,514    
15 May 2010  #26
He is talking about the reality that most men earn a fair bit more but there is a 50-50 presumption

that is true, but I have noticed that good men are not comfortable when their gf or wife makes more money than they do. The users, yes, they have no problem with it, but most men prefer to be the main bread winners.
Chicago Pollock 7 | 505    
15 May 2010  #27
Izvirai

and whilst it doesn't bother him at all, he did say that its something his family will probably strongly disapprove of once they know how serious our relationship is and that we are planning a future together

Polish families have a lot of say so in everyday affairs. They're a PITA (painintheass). Steer clear and you'll be fine.

Salvation through suffering,

that's a Roman Catholic thingy. It's salvation through faith and charity. Unfortunately the Protestant Reformation didn't make it to Poland.

I do understand why some women get all emotional and fluffy when you declare your love to her infront of the community though. It means you're showing the whole world you're her guy and her guy alone. I get that. But with all these rules and financial agreements it feels like a form of control to me. Perhaps even a sign of distrust? The most important thing to me is equality, and I really can't see how a man and a woman are equals within the institute that's called marriage.

Marriage is a civil contract. I know this is going to be hard for modern women to swallow but because women are the child bearers they are at a disadvantage and need to be protected through contract law. the marriage contract was originally designed to keep the guy from "buggering off" after having a slew of kids and leaving the burden of family support to the local community. It's in your favor, ladies.

says that you'll love her forever. Noone can promise this.

Nonsense, of course they can. think commitment. Next time get a marriage contract, FROM THE GOVERNMENT.

that is true, but I have noticed that good men are not comfortable when their gf or wife makes more money than they do. The users, yes, they have no problem with it, but most men prefer to be the main bread winners.

Complete and utter nonsense. Guys are interested in good cooking and sex. It's the women who are interested in how much a guy makes. that's a women thingy. That's why so many successful women don't get married, they constantly compare their earnings with their husbands (Poor b*stards, don't have a chance).
Seanus 15 | 19,716    
15 May 2010  #28
Fstop, good point. I know a couple of Polish guys who are the exception to that but they tend to strive towards being the breadwinner.

There is the expectation that a man should be a gentleman, which makes me wonder. How on earth do those slap-headed morons get any sort of respect at all? Poles have all the types just like anywhere.
skysoulmate 14 | 1,296    
  15 May 2010  #29
The users, yes, they have no problem with it, but most men prefer to be the main bread winners.

Sorry, I don't buy that. My ex-wife made more money than me for several years in the early years of my civilian career(s). Money was never an issue for us. Then again, she's an ex so maybe somehow it was? ;) (nah, not really)

or maybe since it didn't matter to me it proves i'm not a good man?? :( Dang it...
GetQuick    
19 May 2018  #30
Merged:

Relationships in Poland



Im not Polish but I love Poland so much. For me Polish people doesnt care being in love at all. Idk why but they are acting like ''Do we like the same music? Do you love to drink? Yes? So come on. We shhould have sex'' Everyone are like that for me. I saw lots of couples like this and they all are the same. Doesnt matter they are together since 5 months or 5 years.

Maybe Im wrong but couples are in Poland doesnt care falling love. Same music taste, common things, drink alcohol=perfect couple. For me this is not good. That's why Polish women are melting so quick when they met with foreign people. If you are lovely and have good heart, you can get Polish lady not that so hard. Im not insulting any women. No! Im trying to say something else. They just didnt use to seeing, hearing lovely words and when they here, they are getting effect.

Sorry for my English but Im thinking like this.


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