Are Polish still very traditional when it comes to relationships?

14 May 2010 #1

I know that the question is rather vague, since people are individual in their points of view, but as a generalisation are Polish still traditionalists when it comes to relationships?

For example views on marrying before cohabiting or having children. And does this relate to the strong religious ties that many Polish still have? Or is it more to do with age? Are the younger generation more open minded than the elders?

Besides being just plain curious, i do have a personal reason for asking.
I'm currently in a relationship with a (rather amazing) Polish man. I have 2 children from my last relationship (we were not married, but co-habbing for 5 years) and whilst it doesn't bother him at all, he did say that its something his family will probably strongly disapprove of once they know how serious our relationship is and that we are planning a future together.

So are these traditional views something that can be overcome? Or are they deeply rooted in religion, therefore a much tougher sticking point? And is this way of thinking fairly common in Poland?

Sokrates 8 | 3335

14 May 2010 #2

For example views on marrying before cohabiting

No such views.

having children

Generally after marriage.

Are the younger generation more open minded than the elders?

Duh, yes it is.

Or are they deeply rooted in religion

We're religious not conservative, those are two different things.

he did say that its something his family will probably strongly disapprove of once they know how serious our relationship is and that we are planning a future together.

That might have more with them looking at you as a woman looking for a guy to hook up as her kids father than any traditional matters.

Personally i believe single mothers should be shot on sight to avoid all the fuss and confusion but then thats just me, women are generally inferior beings and i'm not writing this because Maja forgot to peel the f*cking potatoes and left me doing it at all.

Generally it rolls like this.

We meet, we date, we f*ck, we present each other to our parents, we move in to one another and after some time marry, then come kids, then she gets fat and flabby and i get bald and beer-bellied, after a few years i start beating the feck out of her and we live happily ever after.

time means 5 | 1309

14 May 2010 #3

Personally i believe single mothers should be shot on sight to avoid all the fuss

Do you work for the Catholic church by any chance? (if not i'm sure they would love to have you) :-)

and i get bald and beer-bellied

What do you mean "get" :-)

z_darius 14 | 3960

14 May 2010 #4

So are these traditional views something that can be overcome? Or are they deeply rooted in religion, therefore a much tougher sticking point?

These things can certainly be overcome as they have for centuries.
Heck, if some priests can have girlfriends without getting married to them then why not those who pay for the priests' livelihoods.

dtaylor5632 18 | 1998

14 May 2010 #5

Do you work for the Catholic church by any chance?

Haha, he's just a bit backwards ;)

f stop 24 | 2493

14 May 2010 #6

we bought ourselves wedding rings, went to empty church and said our vows - between us and God. Then told our families that we were married. This way, my grandma didn't have to wear out her rosary praying for our souls.

Sokrates 8 | 3335

14 May 2010 #7

Do you work for the Catholic church by any chance? (if not i'm sure they would love to have you) :-)

Salvation through suffering, stake burning for the win.

Thats the lamest thing i have heard in my entire life, a wedding is supposed to be a BANG event not some emo crap in mommys basement.

I've been blessed with awesome parents but if anyone does like you guys he apparently lacks the spinal core and a nut or two.

f stop 24 | 2493

14 May 2010 #8

some emo crap in mommys basement

I have not been to any of those... want to tell us about it?

The lame thing is getting the law involved in the "affairs of the heart" and making a BANG event out of it.

STFU - | 39

14 May 2010 #9

The lame thing is getting the law involved in the "affairs of the heart" and making a BANG event out of it.

I do understand why some women get all emotional and fluffy when you declare your love to her infront of the community though. It means you're showing the whole world you're her guy and her guy alone. I get that. But with all these rules and financial agreements it feels like a form of control to me. Perhaps even a sign of distrust? The most important thing to me is equality, and I really can't see how a man and a woman are equals within the institute that's called marriage.

But I do understand the fluffy part!

f stop 24 | 2493

14 May 2010 #10

All true. But you can have all the ceremonies you like! Declare her love to her in front of the whole world! Just don't be stupid enough to sign a legal paper that essentially says that you'll love her forever. Noone can promise this.

It just boggles my mind how many people base their self-worth on some government certifying their union.

lacks the spinal core and a nut or two

And Socrates, it usually is easier to blindly follow the traditions than to question them.
Your awesome parents would probably have been much more awesome without the institution of marriage.

z_darius 14 | 3960

14 May 2010 #11

Declare her love to her in front of the whole world! Just don't be stupid enough to sign a legal paper that essentially says that you'll love her forever.