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Polish guy canceled 3rd date on me, is he uninterested or am I reading too much into it


Americangirldoll
31 Mar 2024 #1
Hello, all for context I am an American woman living in America. I met this polish guy who's been living here in America for 8 years- I'm not sure if I should expect him to act like American guys or more polish when it come to dating and what it means when a guy cancels a date.

Basically this guy and I met online and had 2 dates where we really hit it off, on the second date we did get intimate. I was pretty insecure that it was too early, but the guy said not to worry/overthink so I tried to let it go. We made plans for the following weekend.

Throughout the week we were texting back and forth just like normal, he always initiated the texts. Then on Saturday I made a suggestion for going somewhere on Sunday and he said it sounded good and that he should be available hopefully by X time and that he might be running late he'd let me know. I told him to text me Sunday if he needs to change the time.

He texted me about 3 hours before the date that he had to reschedule because the project he was working on in his house was taking longer than he thought and he needed it finished by the end of the day. To which I replied "no problem let me know of another day that works better for you"

My question is, for American men, typically this kind of excuse and last minute cancelation means he's not that interested and is trying to be nice about it. The American guys I've dated tend to not be very honest/straight up and use excuses or white lies to cover the fact that they don't like you anymore-especially after intimacy. From what I've read polish men tend to be more honest and straight forward, as in if they don't want to see you again they'd just say it rather than coming up with an excuse. So I'm not sure if I should interpret this situation as: he was actually busy and couldn't get away and does want to see me again, or this is his polite way of saying "sorry it's been fun but I don't want to see you again"

Any insight would be greatly appreciated, I don't want to over or under react but I also don't want to look stupid/naive either.
johnny reb 48 | 7,001
31 Mar 2024 #2
How old are you ?
Maybe if you posted a picture of yourself we could be more help to you.
Alien 20 | 4,925
31 Mar 2024 #3
polish men tend to be more honest and straight forward,

Just wait, you'll find out soon.
Novichok 4 | 7,806
31 Mar 2024 #4
Any insight would be greatly appreciated,

He is married.
Miloslaw 19 | 4,856
31 Mar 2024 #5
Maybe if you posted a picture of yourself we could be more help to you.

Pervert.Why do you need a picture of her?To what end?

He is married.

That is the most likely.
johnny reb 48 | 7,001
1 Apr 2024 #6
Pervert.Why do you need a picture of her?

You Brits sure like to play the shame game don't you. 😴

My question is, for American men,

Hear that Milo ? 🤓
British Nerds are not invited in this thread.
Get lost.
Novichok 4 | 7,806
1 Apr 2024 #7
I met this polish guy who's been living here in America for 8 years-

My question is, for American men,

So you are asking Americans how to read a Polish guy?

Hello, all for context I am an American woman living in America.

This is not how an American woman would say it. Try this:

Hi, my name is Jane, and I live in Nebraska.
Last month, I met this Polish guy...
Alien 20 | 4,925
1 Apr 2024 #8
American woman

This is important information. Just Jane isn't enough these days.
Atch 22 | 4,117
1 Apr 2024 #9
@Americangirldoll, firstly very few people on this forum are Polish or have any connection to Poland so I'm not sure you'll get any great cultural insights. I'm not Polish either but I am married to a Polish man and I live in Poland.

Here's my view. It kind of depends on his age. You say he's been living in America for eight years. Most Polish guys get married in their twenties or thirties. If he's older than that and still single, he's probably not interested in a serious relationship but will string you along for sex and home-cooked meals for as long as it suits him. If he's younger, there's a good chance that he's already married or involved elsewhere, especially as you met him online and don't really know anything about him.

My advice is be careful. Just wait and if you don't hear from him again, don't contact him. Just let it go.

If you do hear from him again, you need to see where he lives etc. to be sure he's really a single guy.

Final piece of advice, don't have sex with guys you barely know. Have a bit of self-respect. If he really likes you, he'll wait. If he pressures you, he's bad news. Best of luck!
Korvinus 2 | 476
1 Apr 2024 #10
For the life of me, I can't wrap my head around the idea of going on dates with some random women from the internet. Firstly, it must be terribly tiring, secondly, even if you get to know one well enough first and choose it yourself, the chances of finding someone crazy/boring/zero in life etc. are very high.
Alien 20 | 4,925
1 Apr 2024 #11
@Atch
If she will follow your recommendations, this relationship has no chance of surviving or even being established.
jon357 74 | 21,980
1 Apr 2024 #12
this relationship

There isn't one.

He doesn't sound interested. It was just sex from the internet.
Atch 22 | 4,117
1 Apr 2024 #13
Well, a man who can't go for more than the first date without expecting sex is no loss to any woman. I'm sure she can do better than that.
johnny reb 48 | 7,001
1 Apr 2024 #14
Final piece of advice, don't have sex with guys you barely know.

To late, she already banged him.

this guy and I met online and had 2 dates where we really hit it off, on the second date we did get intimate.

You sound very young and naive.
That is why I ask how old you are and post a picture of yourself.
If you are young and a plain jane you could be desperate for a guy in your life and my bet is that you are.

Slow down and keep them knees together and show some respect to yourself.
Don't be like Fenkis.
jon357 74 | 21,980
1 Apr 2024 #15
I'm sure she can do better than that

For sure.

It's a hazard of online 'dating'.
johnny reb 48 | 7,001
1 Apr 2024 #16
It's a hazard of online 'dating'.

Isn't that how you met your husband, jon357 ?
jon357 74 | 21,980
1 Apr 2024 #17
Of course not; we met through mutual friends. We aren't married though, even after 15 years. We probably will sooner or later though.

Is that how you met yours?
Novichok 4 | 7,806
1 Apr 2024 #18
We aren't married though, even after 15 years.

You will never be married. At best, you can sign a contract.

Marriage is between a man and a woman. It was created to protect the kids, not for faggots to get a piece of paper and feel equal. Parasites are never equal.

A simple test...No heteros, no life...No homos...nobody would notice or give a fvck...
jon357 74 | 21,980
1 Apr 2024 #19
Marriage

Is not decided by you.

A poster described you a few minutes ago as "a full time troll".

A fair description however I'd also describe you as a crazy who just repeats the same boring crap again and again.
Alien 20 | 4,925
1 Apr 2024 #20
again and again.

This is called notification... or was it novification?
jon357 74 | 21,980
1 Apr 2024 #21
novification

He reminds me of an old scabby donkey that someone I knew got from a rescue sanctuary. It had some sort of bleed on the brain and just used to run around in circles making weird braying noises annoying the neighbours.

They had it shot after a week or two.
Alien 20 | 4,925
1 Apr 2024 #22
They had it shot after a week or two.

Of course, we won't do that with Novi. You may like him or not, but you cannot ignore him.
johnny reb 48 | 7,001
1 Apr 2024 #23
I'd also describe you as a crazy who just repeats the same boring crap again and again.

You mean like, "Tranny, Moron, Scum, Idiot, The Daily Mail, I left Poland, I am an engineer, Blacks, Faggots, Genius, Parasite," and on and on, day after day after day.

Koo Koo, Koo Koo.
I still would like to know how old Americangirldoll is so we can help her understand that she was just used for a receptacle by this guy.
Paulina 16 | 4,355
1 Apr 2024 #24
on the second date we did get intimate.

oh

lol

I was pretty insecure that it was too early, but the guy said not to worry/overthink so I tried to let it go.

He would say that, wouldn't he... lol

If you had doubts, that probably means it was too early for you... Don't let men pressure you into sex. A guy who's not willing to wait for it is simply not interested in you, only in sex.

We made plans for the following weekend.

Was it his initiative or yours?

for American men, typically this kind of excuse and last minute cancelation means he's not that interested and is trying to be nice about it.

I don't think it's typical just for American men... And this guy lived for 8 years in the US.

Btw, do you know from which part of Poland or city this guy comes from? What are his views? Conservative or liberal? How old the two of you are?

My advice is - wait and see. Since you proposed to meet on Sunday, this time wait for his proposal. And if you're looking for a serious relationship then don't have sex on that next date. If he tries to pressure you into sex, then tell him that you'd like to spend some time on getting to know each other and see how he reacts.
jon357 74 | 21,980
1 Apr 2024 #25
Indeed.

To get back to the lady who made the first post, it's just the same online or off with some guys. They'll promise anything but just want a notch on their bedpost.

If she's doing online dating she needs to remember to treat it like TV ads in that 90% of the ones she sees are either lying or aimed at someone else, 9% sound better but are timewasting and within that remaining 1% there's a product that suits.

And she should remember that as a woman, she can call the shots.
johnny reb 48 | 7,001
1 Apr 2024 #26
And she should remember that as a woman, she can call the shots.

No jon357, the man is the head of the household just like the good book states.
Women must submit to their husbands.
jon357 74 | 21,980
1 Apr 2024 #27
submit to their husbands

We're talking about dating and the fact that the woman usually calls the shots not individual religious views on marital dynamics.

Some "good books" permit polygamy, anyway and some religions forbid dating.
Paulina 16 | 4,355
1 Apr 2024 #28
and see how he reacts.

...and keep a pepper spray or sth in your handbag, btw, just in case... Especially in case of on-line dating, I guess.
jon357 74 | 21,980
1 Apr 2024 #29
resorts to online dating

Some people do like it. And remember, we're relatively old. People under 25 or even 30 nowadays think that the internet is real life rather than a newspaper small ad that blinks.

sth in your handbag, btw, just in case

And always tell someone where she's gone and with whom. That or leave a note.
Novichok 4 | 7,806
1 Apr 2024 #30
who just repeats the same boring crap again and again.

I repeat posting. You repeat reading. I win.
Also, I have been a valuable member of society throughout my entire life. LGBTs are parasites. I win again.


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