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Polish Wedding March & Funny Hat


angelbina000 3 | 8
11 Aug 2010  #1
Does anybody know where I can find a copy of the Polish Wedding march?

Also does anybody know about the funny hat tradition that can tell me more than its just a hat that is placed on the grooms head? Like, who places the hat on the grooms head? Who makes the funny hat? What is suppose to be on the hat?

I am getting married this September I want to mix in some polish traditions into the wedding.

Dziękuję
Sabrina
plk123 8 | 4,150
11 Aug 2010  #2
funny hat?
OP angelbina000 3 | 8
11 Aug 2010  #3
A funny hat will be placed on the groom's head, representing the wish that the marriage will be full of happiness and laughter.

worldweddingtraditions.com/locations/east_europe_traditions/polish_traditions.html

this is one of the many sites that I have found this tradition
plk123 8 | 4,150
11 Aug 2010  #4
got a picture? never heard of this "tradition". hmm
OP angelbina000 3 | 8
11 Aug 2010  #5
this is the closest thing I have to a picture

polishtreasures.com/wedding.htm
plk123 8 | 4,150
11 Aug 2010  #6
hmm.. weird. maybe someone here will know something about this.. good luck
Magdalena 3 | 1,837
11 Aug 2010  #7
Sounds like a load of tosh to me. I read both the Polish and "Czechoslovakian" (sic!) wedding traditions and what they most resemble is someone's jumbled reading of a whole bunch of folk tales, very local peasant traditions which have since died out completely (rebraiding the bride's hair the night before the wedding WTF???) , and bits and bobs of central European folklore... As someone who is half Polish and half Czech I would say - try to keep these dubious "traditions" and you will make yourself a sure-fire laughing-stock! ;-)
nunczka 8 | 458
11 Aug 2010  #8
Hi Angel.
I remember the things that you requested very well. I think that this was a Polish American thing. i talked to relatives in Poland and they had no knowledge of this tradition.

Removing the Bridal veil was done by a matron. This was to signify that the Bride was about to lose Her womanhood.. (Oczepiny)

The hat was to wish them a long and happy marriage.

The necklace with baby dools was a wish for the couple to bear a lot of healthy children

youtube.com/watch?v=fDTfWZgUvmk

The Bridal dance, Money dance. Apron dance all the same thing.

The guest would line up and put money into an apron held by a Matron.
, for a chance to dance with the bride. The song that was played was (Pani Mloda)
.
The dance might last but a couple of steps before anothe person would cut in.. This dance could last for a long time as long as people lined up.. If the bride got tired a Bridesmaid was dance for her. As the line slowed the husband would throw in his wallet and carry his bride off in his arms.

At my wedding in 1947 when money was tight. We collected over $400. At that time we could buy a home for $ 5000.00.

GOOD LUCK ON YOU MARRIAGE

Daj trochu pieniedziy na tace
Na jej welon slubny

Niech cala rodzina pomorze
Niech starosta pomoze

Pani Mloda bedzie bardziej szczesliwa
Gdy pan mlody zatanczy z nia

Nasza pani mloda jest pienkna
Ale czy ona wie jak pracowac

Ojciec tanczy z panna mloda
On jest taki dawny ze swojego mala dziewczynka

Teraz jest koleg na mame
Niedlugo beedzie miala swego wlasna rodzine

Bes tym jak ostatni gosc
Zatanczy z panna mloda

Pan mlody zaczyna tanczye
Kiedy ostatnie zaworki piosenki sa grane

Pani mloda tanczy z panem mlodym
Jaka wyspaniala pare oni tworza

Wez panne mloda z soba
I kochaj ja as do smierci

Pani Mloda in English:
iarelative.com/wedding/redovy.htm
Cardno85 31 | 976
11 Aug 2010  #9
Sounds like a load of tosh to me.

It could be, as said in the post above, a Polish-American thing. But I have been to plenty of weddings in lots of different parts of Poland and I have never seen anything described in the link we were given.

So, Angelbina00, I agree with Magda here. If you know it to be a tradition with your family then go for it, but I wouldn't say those are traditions as such.

And, concerning that wedding traditions website. I wouldn't give it much notice, I just read the Scottish Traditions and, like with Polish and 'Czechoslovakian' it seems to be quite a lot of folk tales and little village traditions that are rare or outdated.

And, I am sure a Polish person can fill you in with the proper lyrics, but every wedding I have been to have had people singing "Nie pijemy wodki, nie pijemy wodki..." and so on for plenty of different verses while the bride and groom kiss.
nunczka 8 | 458
11 Aug 2010  #10
Sabrina;
Dont allow the above posters to discourage you. They are young people who grew up long after your Grandparents fled Poland due to Religious and Political oppression.. They know very little about your Granparents generation. I am old enough to remember the stories told me.. They were very poor and hungry from small villages. They immigrated to America and brought a lot of their traditions with them. Some of the old traditions were improved and became Polish American.

You go ahead and add some of the old folks memories in your wedding.. they would be proud of you.
Magdalena 3 | 1,837
12 Aug 2010  #11
They know very little about your Granparents generation.

That is so unfair. I happen to have quite an extensive knowledge history, customs, and family going much farther back than just my grandparent's generation. And I am no spring chicken myself, so there!

Some of the old traditions were improved and became Polish American.

As long as you don't call these traditions "Polish", everything is fine. I would say they are 100% PolishAmerican. Don't be offended, but we really don't do things your way back in the old country.
nunczka 8 | 458
12 Aug 2010  #12
That is so unfair.

OUCH!

long as you don't call these traditions "Polish", everything is fine. I would say they are 100% Polish American.

TOUCHY, TOUCHY ! LOL.

Try this one for size. From what I see, I would choose Polish AMERICAN renditions to the Polish versions
youtube.com/watch?v=3U1i_nnS-OM&feature=related

Here is another.
youtube.com/watch?v=l5FlHp1Mkho&feature=related

If you ever come to America, look me up. Zabamwimy sie.. TA TA Magdelina
Polonius3 1,000 | 12,449
14 Aug 2010  #13
In the Detroit area at Polish weddings the selction "Pożegnanie Ojczyzny" once served as the "Polsih wedding march", played when guests followed in behind the newly weds to the banquet table. The funny hats or "vegetable hats" were common at Polish weddings in the Buffalo, NY area. I never encountered that custom in SE Michigan.
plk123 8 | 4,150
15 Aug 2010  #14
I would say they are 100% Polish American.

that i can go with.. thus not Polish at all but in all actuality it is 100% AMERICAN then.. lol
Polonius3 1,000 | 12,449
21 Aug 2010  #15
The main points of a traditional Polish wedding are:
-- THE PARENTAL BLESSING (usually at the bride's family home),
-- THE NUPTIAL ITSELF: bride is not 'given away' by her father (she's not a piece of property, after all), but both betrothed walk up to the altar sude by side; wedding bands are placed on the right hand; after the ceremony the bride may place a small bouquet at the side altar to the BVM and kneel and say a prayer there before rejoining hubby

-- THE BREAD AND SALT WELCOME at the wedding reception site
-- AT TABLE: GRACE, BEST MAN'S SPEECH,TOASTS, GORZKO, GORZKO
-- THE BECAPPING CEREMONY (oczepiny -- towards the end of the evening)
-- POPRAWINY - follow-up celebration the next day or even two days (newly weds are on hand to show respect and gratitude to their wedding guests)...
skibum 8 | 62
21 Aug 2010  #16
Have a look here for a tongue in cheek view of a Polish wedding

Polish Wedding

or here for an alternative

Teetotal Polish Wedding
OP angelbina000 3 | 8
22 Aug 2010  #17
Thank you all so much!
My family and I have decided to mix in a little bit of both into our reception. We will have the funny hat just because I am half american and it would be too hilarious to pass up seeing the goofy hat my mother made for my future husband on his head :).

We will also be adding in the bread and salt welcome, but because our reception hall will not allow food that is unwrapped besides what they serve they will be offering a gift basket instead.

If I am not mistaken the oczepiny is when the bride is deveiled by her mother and a czepek is placed in the brides head in its stead My mother is having a wreath made for our special day because she said in her family they never used a czepek but a wreath instead.
Marcia Toczynsk
27 Jun 2016  #18
Yes, Polishhat has tiny baby dolls, pacifiers, tiny rolling pins, fruits, anything silly. Yes, bride would have a lacy Barrett attached to her hair in place of veil. Salt for bitterness in life, wine for celebrations, bread to always have food, a coin to never have financiak difficulties and a white silk scarf wrapped over the bride and grooms clasped hands to show that the "tie that binds them together.
madeafoolofonce
13 Jan 2017  #19
THe hat thing is part of "czepina" It is supposedly quite common in Buffalo NY.

It is insulting and degrading.
Rozalka
5 Mar 2017  #20
I have a picture of my niece and her husband from their Polish wedding in Buffalo . 1964. he has a hat made out of a paper bag with vegetables on it. My niece is older than me so I have no idea what the hat was for. There was also something about a plate with a sausage and 2 potatoes strategically placed on each side of the sausage.
That guy
16 Jan 2018  #21
The hat is indeed part of the czepina. At least where we were married, in Cheektowaga (near Buffalo) it's apparently quite common. Personally I will never forgive my witch of a mother-in-law for demanding that we do this. (I went along with it to be a nice guy, stupid me.) It's scandalous and humiliating, and if you think that showing good will by going along with it will do you or your future kids any good, think again.
kaprys 2 | 1,720
16 Jan 2018  #22
Another Polish American thing, I guess ...
Cheryls
31 Jan 2018  #23
We were married in Buffalo in 1980. Yes they put a silly hat on my husband and a small veil on me. We all had a great time. We laughed and enjoyed it! I have pictures to prove it. BTW, my husband was born in Poland as were his parents and family. They all loved it!
Thaddeus
7 Feb 2018  #24
Yeah, that czepina thing. Not all that common today I don't think. It's really old world. I agree with "that guy". It's really medieval. If family expects you to do this sort of thing, they're stuck in a very old world past. Expect bad things from that family in the future. Might as well elope and take the grief up front.
kaprys 2 | 1,720
7 Feb 2018  #25
Polish oczepiny is about the bride. That's an old custom symbolising the change of marital status. Unmarried women wore a wreath as a symbol of virginity and married women wore czepiec (bonnet? ) and during oczepiny married women would take off the wreath of the bride's head and put the bonnet on.

Nowadays it's different but we don't have any silly hats for the groom ... not to my knowledge.
majkel - | 64
8 Feb 2018  #26
Oczepiny are very common. The extent of what happens though may differ.
The simplest version is I guess for bride to throw the veil by the shoulder while being surrounded by the group of unmaried women, the one that catches the veil wears it for the rest of the evening (or just 10 minutes, it's up to the really), then the same things happen with grooms bowtie. Then newly appointed coplue dance (optional). That's the basic version.

More complcated version can also contain different versions of party games like krzesełka (youtube.com/watch?v=t_-KPmSD7IA), or some kind of funny theather (youtube.com/watch?v=Ba6XoMjt7q8).

In wielkopolska (not sure if it's tradition in other parts of Poland) przyśpiewki were quite common, now being phased out but still happen. I like this part a lot. I tried to find it on youtube but actually didn't find correct version where people line up to the mic, sing przyśpiewka, and then dance with bride/groom depending on gender of the singer. They are often quite offensive, especially to mother in law. My favorite one is "tesciowa, tesiowa, nie otwieraj gęby, bo wezmę kamienia i wyrżnę ci w zęby!" :).

Also in wielkopolska (and some other part of poland) money dance is not common at all, you just give the money in the envelope when you give your wishes at the venue. I had such funny situation when we had śląsko-wielkopolskie wesele in my family when father of the groom insisted on the dance and then showed up with this big pile of 10PLN bills and gave fat stack of money and people around watched in disbelief as they already gave their gifts.

Also gorzko, gorzko is obligatory as is ona temu winna.

And as the rest said, hat thing is not Polish tradition.
Thaddeus
9 Feb 2018  #27
LOL! May not be a legit Polish tradition, but at least in some families in Buffalo they tell you that it is, and that it's just not a wedding if you don't do it, and you don't want to start of married life disrespecting your bride's family, do you? Lot of good it will do you though! Seriously, if this is the sort of thing that you enjoy, fine, knock yourself out, go for it. But if you're doing it to be a good sport, forget it. Nice to know that it's not really a legit part of Polish culture, makes me even feel more like an idiot.
Tim Biehler
10 Aug 2018  #28
What an awful, vulgar, ridiculous, embarrassing, made-up not-even-real "tradition". I went through with it, because I was trying to be nice. Just trying to placate my wife's vicious family. Lot of good it did me! Just one more way for them to stick up their middle fingers at me and my family.

If you want to do it, that's your choice. But as others have said, don't do it for anyone else.
Psych82
29 Aug 2018  #29
We did the funny Groom hat in all of our Polish weddings in Buffalo. It was always well received as humorous and a wish for fertility and healthy children. It was placed on his head in time with the 7 Angels song. " and in a year or two.. provide him with and heir. No intended humiliation here , once you understand the good wishes of the attendees.
Tim Biehler - | 3
24 Oct 2018  #30
If the attendees indeed have good wishes, sure, and if the couple thinks this is a fun thing to do, sure. But don't do it unless you want to, I guess that's one point. And the other is don't assume that just because someone is being a good sport that means that they think it's a great thing. And anyone who thinks they should go along with this out of respect for Polish cultural tradition should be aware that it's not a real Polish tradition.

I personally found it humiliating, my family found it scandalous, and I can assure you that people who insisted on it did not do so from good wishes towards anyone but themselves.

Depends on the situation.


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