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Polish Wedding March & Funny Hat

cms neuf 1 | 1,747
24 Oct 2018 #31
Wearing a silly hat for a few minutes made you so upset ?
Tim Biehler - | 3
25 Oct 2018 #32
Like I said, it depends on the situation. If it's done with good intentions and genuine good wishes, sure why not? If it's something you find amusing and fun, sure, why not? Knock yourself out. But don't assume that what you find silly and fun is what everybody else finds silly and fun.

There were a lot of other things. This is not the place to discuss those other things. But from reading other posts in this thread it doesn't look like I'm alone in having found it a somewhat less than heartwarming experience. It can be a nice thing I suppose. It also can be something else.

Your mileage may vary.
cms neuf 1 | 1,747
25 Oct 2018 #33
Fair enough - horses for courses. But if you can't find common ground with her family over an innocent party game then probably no surprise that your marriage was a challenge. At my own wedding there were some daft local traditions but I was drunk, everyone else was drunk and generally happy - it's a Polish wedding after all. A good rule of thumb at Polish family events (and work events) is that if you join in and smile and laugh then they will like you for that.
delphiandomine 88 | 18,163
25 Oct 2018 #34
This is not the place to discuss those other things.

Oh, but it is. Tell us more.
Tim Biehler - | 3
25 Oct 2018 #35
You, my friend, make a lot of assumptions.
30 May 2021 #36
I found this thread because I was trying to find out more about the oczepiny tradition for my own wedding. Until this site I hadn't found anything about the funny hats or the songs my grandma mentioned. It was interesting to read through here. I can however confirm the funny hats and songs at Polish American weddings in Buffalo. It's funny how you just assume it's a general Polish thing because that has been my experience at all the Polish(American) weddings I've been too, but it sounds it's more a Polish American thing and specifically in Buffalo where I grew up.

We did the funny hats and sang songs including the angels song ("and in a year or two.. provide him with and heir") someone else mentioned. They did it at my parents wedding and my aunts and uncle and other family, but I recently found out from my grandma that my Dzia Dzia didn't want to wear the hat!

It sounds from others that their experiences were more embarrassing or crude, but in all cases in my family it was very lighthearted no one was forced into it. My brother-in-law is from Scotland so we made a hat with Scottish flags and sheep and bagpipes and soccer balls, all in good fun and he got a kick out of it.

My feeling with weddings is that you've got to do what you and your future spouse want, and don't feel forced by parents or family. My wife's family is Syrian so we are trying to include some Arabic music and traditions and some American music and maybe some Polish traditions. But all because we want it to reflect us and our backgrounds. Maybe our families want us to do more and want it to be more specifically Arabic, American or Polish, but we remind them it's an Arab-Polish-American wedding not just any one of those.
pawian 222 | 24,304
30 May 2021 #37
My wife's family is Syrian so we are trying to include some Arabic music and traditions

Wow! Very interesting. How does conservative Am Polonia react to it?

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