Love / I need advice: divorce and my rights as a father in Poland [165]

I agree with you that the courts have become skewed. It seems to me that there is overcompensation going on in the western world for conditions that are still prevalent in some parts of the world. Women have not always had things to their advantage, but have often suffered. Sometimes paying with their lives. That being said, I would like to see the court system fair.

But, my point was less about the legal system, than who you choose and how you choose. It is hard for either sex to see the merits of someone who shows caring and love at the outset. That person can be perceived as boring and without other options. And it could be he or she might make the best partner.

The difficult person seems a challenge and unconsciously we tend to think that makes them more valuable. Often, the opposite is true.

Love / I need advice: divorce and my rights as a father in Poland [165]

I wish OP good luck. And to Zimmy, there are hurts on both sides of male/female relationships. It often seems like the generous soul picks the user type. Both sexes equally so.

It comes down to the chase, and the difficult one seeming like a better prize.

Love / I need advice: divorce and my rights as a father in Poland [165]

Not likely, but remotely possible that if you show her that you can stand your ground, she may realize she is losing something she really wants. It sounds like you have constantly given more because you may love more. Sometimes, women are more attracted to a man who can be nice to them, but keeps them from walking all over them.

She holds all the cards right now, but by standing your ground with her you may be able to bluff that you hold some cards too. Like a bit of indifference to her. She is used to you wanting to make it work, moving to Poland to satisfy her desire, paying for all her expenses, cooking so she can be free to take care of your child. And she knows you love your daughter. She thinks she can do anything she wants. And she may have the advantage of the law. Take the initiative.

Do what it takes to prevent the child from being taken away. Tell her you want the marriage to work, but it will be best to work on it here where you already have a good life and income. And that if the "bump" between you improves, then maybe all three of you can move to Poland. At this point, the stress of a move would make things worse.

Off-Topic / How do Polish people operate? what makes them tick? [103]


Not so sure this is done by Polish people in general. But, if there is truth to this, it is sad because Polish people have so much to offer.

What you refer to is a common coping technique used by insecure people. I see it here in the States, too. Maybe, instead of getting upset with the person, we can say something to put them at ease.

And if we are tempted to do the same thing and say something nasty in return, think of this simple illustration that I read somewhere, "If I snuff out your candle, my candle fails to shine any brighter."

Law / T-Mobile replaces Era [21]


Yes, you are right about that. Sometimes we have to move on whether we want to or not. I have a hard time discarding something that works perfectly fine for something newer. My good digital camera has an out-dated media card and I have a difficult time finding a lab to handle it. :-(

A dedicated camera will always be better than a mobile phone camera. Maybe one day they will equal a better camera, but for now I believe the lens is too limiting.

My other phone took not-so-great pictures and this one is night and day. It is as good as an inexpensive point and shoot which means I can get all those unexpected pictures that I would otherwise miss.

Law / T-Mobile replaces Era [21]

I am with T-Mobile and whenever I am in Poland it roams to ERA. I've been happy with T-Mobile, but a little concerned with what will happen when AT&T takes over. Perhaps, the deal will be shot down. There are those in America attempting to avoid any one cell phone provider becoming too large.


I just recently bought an older smart phone made by Nokia. It still has the old-fashioned keys for texting. It looks and operates a lot like my "dumb Nokia." It has Symbian software, but I believe in the future the viruses will be attacking the Droid phones and IPhones.

What made me get a smart phone from 2008 rather than a new touch screen model is the fact that this Nokia (N82) is considered to have one of the best cell phone cameras. Even compared to newer cameras with more pixels. It has the type of flash on many point and shoot cameras and it has a covered lens. On my recent vacation, I felt happy to have one device that could connect to the Internet without a data plan, and take pretty darned good pictures.

Nokia is cool because it is compatible in the USA and in Europe. No frequency problems. :-)

Life / IS Poland in danger of becoming the next multi cultural sink hole? [201]

It only became homogenous after WWII. Poland does have a tradition of being home to many people because of the Golden Freedoms. People all over Europe who were persecuted came to Poland because it was a tolerant country. French Huguenots, Jewish peoples and many others. There were those who came because of special skills that were needed, too. It was a mixed blessing for Poland and for those who came. But who could have known the future.

My own family roots are completely from Poland, yet I am only half Polish at most.

Love / American marrying Polish woman in Poland - Church problems [79]

Hi Coopermouse, I understand your situation, too. I used to work in a photography studio and we often took wedding pictures of couples who married on the beach, in the park or just a reception hall with a notary republic or justice. Often, they did not know the person who married them, it was just a civic ceremony. So, naturally, there would be no religious divorce document to show the priest in Poland.

I hope showing him the civil record of the marriage and explaining again that the divorce papers you have are the only ones since you did not have a church wedding, Catholic or any other.

Law / Weapons laws in Poland. Carrying a concealed handgun? [918]

Yes, earlier in the thread it was established that people in Poland can get hunting guns, just not handguns.

History / Info on Poland in 1988 - researching a short film [21]

There is an excellent documentary called, "The Beats of Freedom." It was embedded somewhere on another thread. I can't find that thread, but I remembered the video, and found it on youtube. It was a wonderful look into the Polish punk and rock scene. It will add a lot to your understanding of what it was like to live in Poland at the end of the 80's.

youtube.com/watch?v=xsFAv5Nvn2c

Food / What's your favorite Polish beer? [870]

Kasztelan Jasne Petne because it tastes good, and is brewed in Sierpc near where my family originates.

carlsbergpolska.pl/Firma/historia/Pages/Historia.aspx

Language / Too many English words in the Polish language! [709]


O.K. Good. Then I used it all right. Mainly I was attempting to move through crowded areas. But, if I bumped into someone who was not much older than me, I could just say, "sory." Unless I was so clumsy that I knocked the person over, and then I should use the standard, "przepraszam."

Language / Too many English words in the Polish language! [709]


Wow...so I sounded out-of-touch the whole time I mumbled "przepraszam" on the bus, and in crowds. I am not for putting English words into Polish, but I have to admit that I find "Sory, sorki, sorka, sorcia" a whole lot easier to say.

Genealogy / Polish birth, death and marriage records in Russian scripts? [16]

Yes, Pat. I have about a hundred records in Russian! But of that number, only a handful that are very important to me. I went to the Polish Archives directly and in a team of researchers, we requested all the village books we could get our hands on in the time we had booked. We scanned them for our surnames. If any of us spotted a surname from one of the others, or our friends back in the States, we put in a request for a xerox copy. We did not make them directly, but came back the next day to pick them up. We had thousands of copies and divided them up between us before flying home.

So, some may not really pertain to me, but I have a nice sharp xerox of the original parish books! It was unbelievable. Books two hundreds year old books and just plunked down on the table for us to browse!

I have not been to a FHC for a long time. But, I also have some records from that source as well. To save time, I began writing to the Archives for extractions of records. They do a great job, but you get the Russian or Latin or whatever language the records are in, typed into Polish. Which is fine, because I can read it.

However, in the case of my grandfather, I found that his birth certificate showed he had a different surname as a baby in Poland than the one he used in America, and that he was apparently born to an unmarried woman who later married and had his brothers and sisters. Since that family name was my maiden name, I began to wonder if all the research I was doing was for nothing, if the name had no biological connection.

By flying to Poland and getting the parish books, I found what many records have.....a later added marginal note. I was so hoping.....

It turns out that the biological father recognized his son a year and half later, married the mother and then they had the other children. I had help on translating that one from two people, but no longer have a source of help. It also was hard to tell if he just adopted the baby, or was the father. But, he was the father.

I also have documents pertaining to my other grandfather, grandmother and great-grands and I'd love to see what is written on the originals. You know from the FHC records that you can tell what occupation they had, who were the witnesses, etc. In the extractions you only get the name, mother and father and perhaps where they lived.

So, I am stuck. But, I've been so immersed in genealogy and gone on so many trips that I am taking a break anyhow.

PS. An after-thought. The Russian records often say the individuals were illiterate. I know that all my grandparents and great-parents could read and write. So, I concluded that because they could read and write in Polish or German, but not Russian, they were classified as illiterate for that reason.

Language / The usage and future of the special Polish letters: ą, ć, ę, ł, ń, ó, ś, ż, ź (Polish language) [203]


My grand daughter in first grade is already at this level. I believe she would whole-heartedly endorse these changes. ;-)

History / Were Nobles during Commonwealth constituting the Nation of Poland? [37]

Very interesting information. I was motivated, also to read about the Ossets.

Law / Weapons laws in Poland. Carrying a concealed handgun? [918]


Wish I could say the same thing about the hotel where I work.

Good example Antek.

Poland is very safe. I've traveled with people and all alone in Poland. And as a woman who only knows a tiny bit of Polish, I always felt safe.

Genealogy / Polish birth, death and marriage records in Russian scripts? [16]


Yes, although I am not a Polish speaker, I can decipher the Polish texts quite well, so glad they stuck with the Latin alphabet. I learned just enough Russian, to recognize my surnames, but I am at a standstill, too.

History / Were Nobles during Commonwealth constituting the Nation of Poland? [37]


That is an interesting question. I've always wondered how the nobles of various societies became "nobles." What made them better, was it that they accumulated wealth and then weaved a story about their origins being somehow more divine, or in this case, a separate race?

I read the linked article above and while it was only a tiny part of the article, it seemed to indicate that modern historians doubt that the nobility descended from Samatians:

"The alleged ancestors of the szlachta, the Sarmatians, were in reality a confederacy of mostly Iranian tribes north of the Black Sea, described by Herodotus in the 5th century BC as descendants of Scythians and Amazons, and displaced by the Goths in the 2nd century AD and had nothing to do with Poland; the legend however stuck...."

However, I did notice that they allowed some wiggle room for maybe an offshoot of the group from the Black Sea.

Either way, I always admired how the Polish nobility was so different than the Western nobility. I tell people all the time that Poland was more advanced as far as freedoms go than even England. In history classes in this country, they always mention the great Magna Carta when they speak of evolving freedoms in Europe.

I wonder if there are any genetic studies done on surviving Polish nobility to investigate the question from that aspect.

Either way, the idea and the traditions around it seemed to have had some very advanced and positive effects on Poland and Europe, at least until the whole thing degraded and lead to the downfall of Poland. (So much gridlock with the veto and the meddling into Polish elections by other countries).

Genealogy / Polish birth, death and marriage records in Russian scripts? [16]

Hi Pat, I have the same problem. I went to the Polish Archives and got the original records written in Russian for my family. Could possibly have someone, but I am still looking myself.

Travel / Warsaw, Wroclaw, Poznan, Gdansk and Krakow - Five Polish Cities in Google Street View [17]

When I was in Gdańsk, I stayed with friends one time, and another time when I was in Ireland I hopped on a Ryanair flight just to just walk around Gdańsk on my own. I was proud of myself for remembering where to go, and to be able to buy stamps at the post office, simple things that my very, very limited Polish allowed me to do.

I stayed at The Baltic Hostel which really looked kind of creepy, but the place was run by friendly people. The manager/owner provided breakfast every morning and snacks all through the day. Supper was not obligatory, but if you were around when he made his supper, you would be invited for bigos or whatever he had. I would avoid it in summer though as they do not have enough bathrooms for lots of people, but fall and spring are good times. It is close enough to walk anywhere you wish in Gdańsk.

BUT, right in the old town of Gdańsk, on the river, is boat that is a hostel. I was very tempted to stay there, but thought it might be too cold for me in the late fall when I was there.

hostels.com/hostels/gdansk/pepperland-hostel/25843

And who knows, if Wildrover is still in Poland, he'd probably welcome you to his farm.

Travel / Warsaw, Wroclaw, Poznan, Gdansk and Krakow - Five Polish Cities in Google Street View [17]


Yes, definitely! I've been to Germany and Poland and it was a L O N G trip! You are just a hop, skip and a jump! :-)

I believe you would find a lot to love about Poland.

News / Don't let Poland become like my country, France. [630]


Many generations, but there are layers of more recent immigrants. The largest influx was the late 1800's and early 1900's. That was mainly Eastern and Southern Europe.

And yes, I believe that most European immigrants have finally settled in nicely. There are no problems, maybe a joke or two and that's that. But they do worry about too many non-Europeans. Not so much because they are non-European, but because the numbers are large, and even our language as English is in danger. With the previous immigrants, English managed to remain the language of the USA.

News / Don't let Poland become like my country, France. [630]

I no longer live in the New York City area, so I am not sure if the Jewish influx you speak of is from Israel-born Jews. When I was growing up we were very familiar with Jewish people from Europe. I loved growing up with foods from all over the world. :-)

Jews do hold a lot of power, but the demise of Yorkville, had little to do with Jewish people unless they were the ones tearing down the elevated train lines and building the new high rises. And if so, it was collateral damage to the goal of making money.

My post was directed at several posters who felt that Germans got off lightly in the USA, and really only experienced pressure because of WWI. (Not much as a result of WWII). But actually, they experienced trouble after WWII, and that made them assimilate into the general population. Another poster, I forget which one at the moment made the point that maybe in countries like Germany and Poland in the future, the numbers of immigrants could be controlled more and some pressure to assimilate. It seemed to work well here in the States for a time till now we have a situation more like Germany has with Turks. It is such a complicated situation. People have always moved around and went to the places where they had the best opportunities. I would like that to continue, but in a way that adds to the existing culture without destroying it.

Life / European Capital of Culture 2016: Which Polish city do you wish to win? [42]

It's a good choice, too. Lots of beauty, and Wawel is very impressive.

Life / European Capital of Culture 2016: Which Polish city do you wish to win? [42]

I agree, I believe Gdańsk would be a good choice, or Toruń.

News / Don't let Poland become like my country, France. [630]


Yet, the effect of WWII was instrumental in the disappearance of New York City's Germantown. My background is Polish and German. My mother spoke Polish, my Dad spoke German. He was the leader of a band at The Lorelei, a German nightclub in Yorkville where I was immersed in Eastern European culture, particularly German. There is hardly a trace of this community now.

uppereast.com/germantown

"The heyday of Germantown was from the 1930s-1960s when the streets were filled with the sound of the German language spoken by Eastern European/Prussian immigrants from Hungary, Austria, Czechoslovakia, Poland, and Russia. An abundance of newspapers, societies, sports clubs, shops, restaurants, movie theatres, bakeries grew to accommodate this diverse gathering of Europeans....

....what really signified the beginning of the end of Germantown was the tearing down of the 2nd and 3rd Avenue elevated lines. Slowly, the developers moved in and the factories and brownstones under the tracks were torn down to be replaced by large apartment buildings.

This, combined with anti-German sentiment due to WWII, was one of the many things that caused the Yorkville Germans to Anglicize their names and begin to assimilate into U.S. society."

Life / Uptight Poles [262]

The same thing was said of Christians and the Roman Empire.

Interesting theory about Poland and Catholicism. However, that is all it is, a theory. We can never go back and see what would have happened if the Protestant Reformation had gained a strong hold in Poland.

Love / Polish boyfriend coming to visit [52]

Thank you 123z. Glad you were moved. It was a beautiful time. It was sad for awhile, but it ended well. We are all happy now. :-)

Life / Uptight Poles [262]


I am not Catholic, myself. But, I did do a lot of research in college on the role the Catholic Church played in keeping alive the idea of Poland.

The Church has a lot to answer for, Inquisitions, etc. I am aware of its history as well as the Concordat between Hitler and the Vatican. I have not looked at your link, yet. I will do it, however, just wanted to make the point that I am not naive about the Catholic Church, or religion in general.

My only point is that there is a positive role the Church played in Poland. Prussia was mostly Lutheran, Russia, Orthodox. Those countries each took big chunks of Poland. The Catholic Faith kept the Polish people culturally Polish. No denying this, and during Communism, the Church gave hope.