The BEST Guide to POLAND
Unanswered  |  Archives [3] 
 
 
User: Guest

Posts by imano  

Joined: 19 Feb 2012 / Male ♂
Last Post: 10 Jul 2014
Threads: Total: 10 / Live: 0 / Archived: 10
Posts: Total: 42 / Live: 12 / Archived: 30
From: wroclaw, poland
Speaks Polish?: yes
Interests: polish language and culture

Displayed posts: 12
sort: Latest first   Oldest first   |
imano   
10 Jul 2014
Love / My Polish wife's family hate me. Maybe it is because I'm black. Advice needed. [87]

is it his fault he was born half German half Nigerian? did i choose to be black? no. am i human? yes. isn't humankind older than culture? so what are you trying to tell me?

for me, i'm going to be with my gf. so far as she wants to be with me (and she wants to) irrespective of whatever her parents say. i'll respect them (they prolly don't need my respect, their problem). it's not them i'm going to be with, neither is my gf. i respect my polish gf and i'd do anything for her. any 3rd's person thought is their own burden.
imano   
26 Jun 2014
Love / My Polish wife's family hate me. Maybe it is because I'm black. Advice needed. [87]

Imano, chin up the way to move a mountain is one stone at a time. You may have lost the battle, but not the war.

i know how the parents feel, and the fact that their daughter is young and this being to sudden for the, that's why i broke up with their daughter but will remain very good friends. i myself think the girls is too young, maybe to make decisions for herself but as far has i know, from their family, if their daughter has a boyfriend, they envisage them marrying. the girl has 2 older sisters, first one married his bf, second one is very close to marrying his bf too. her parents are the type who want the PERFECT guy for their daughters. her older sister's husband smokes, and once her parents ask her to let go this boyfriend. can you believe it? just cause he smokes.

when i heard her dad didn't sleep 2 days, i got very sad. just over this. i was really very sad. i don't want this for them. i don't want them to get sick or anything of that sort. so i've left their daughter but will still be by here side, not as a couple, but as a good, honest friend, if they'll not sleep over that too then i'll just let it go.

according to my ex gf, they think it's a "shame" that such a "decent" family allowed their daughter to be with me. in their town, they are the best Christians, well-respected. her mum sings in the churc choir and goes to church every single day, i don't know really what that means in Poland.

once she told me if her mum finds out we're together they'll send her to an exorcists, she said it jokingly though. but after knowing we were together her parents prayed for her a lot. not like i'm a devil or something, in my late teens i sang in the church choir and played an organ for the church(does that even matter?). i'm not evil, but it hurts when her parents don't want to know me at all and start getting sick over us.
imano   
26 Jun 2014
Love / My Polish wife's family hate me. Maybe it is because I'm black. Advice needed. [87]

the girl's parents haven't met me in person. when my gf (now my ex 20mins ago) asked if they wanted to meet me, her mum laughed. they just DON'T WANT to meet me in the first place. they don't know me, they don't even want to know me! it hurts. i don't care about the parents that much. i just care about the girl but she has "owners" (parents) who i have to respect and i do.

i stopped playing on race cards and been doing a lot of thinking. racists, if they exist at all don't bother me one bit. i just know there are 2 kinds of people, the STUPID ones and the conservatives. for example i was in a shop yesterday and some guy, tattered guy told his not-so-aware-of-modern-fashion gf "ja pierdole!" his gf asked "co?" and he said "obwrot sie", then she turned to look at me, i just smiled at her. it's clear, they are plain stupid and it's people and reactions like that that don't bother me AT ALL! and there are the conservatives (NOT RACISTS), proud poles who want to keep and maintain tradition (like my ex's parents)...but the fact that they don't even know me but yet think i'm NOT the right fit for their daughter is still beyond me. i wouldn't call them racists though...

it's easier when you understand people. i just broke up with her. it hurts, it pains...a lot! but life has to go on. she'll find the "right" guy, a pole, catholic and she and her parents will be happy, i would be happy too of course. now my prayer is just that she finds a guy that will really really respect her and treat her like she deserves cause i love her and want the best for her, but couldn't be with her. she's respectful and was brought up very well. girls like her are scarce these days. though she said she'll try to talk to her parents one more time and asked me to write to her Dad.

people say, if you love her, fight for her. i say if you love her, don't make her sad, instead of forcefully trying to make her happy. cause her parents were broken-hearted when they found out we're together. when her parents are down, she's down and i hate to see her that way. i didn't give up. i just tried not to give her reasons to be sad. i won't fight with her parents, never.

but i like to cheer myself up in this moment. when we were together we LOVED music and i got to somehow learn to dance discopolo and loved it. i learned the refrain of this song by heart within minutes and i love it. i play this song often, cause of the positive memories it brings. :)



stay and think positive always! peace :)
imano   
26 Jun 2014
Love / My Polish wife's family hate me. Maybe it is because I'm black. Advice needed. [87]

@warszawski: no she doesn't want out. i've known her for a year and i know how she thinks and feel about me. i feel it and i see it and i hear it. since she's leaving wroclaw today, i spent the WHOLE day with her yesterday and her mum called twice. it wasn't on a loude speaker but i was very close to her i could hear her mum. her mum sounded VERY CALM and i could hear she's a very good person and wants the best for her daughter. she said stuff like "Kasia(not real name), nie martw sie, bedzie dobrze, znajdziesz opowiedny...". her mum knows she's sad and could hear her crying. and i know her mum is a good person cause she asked of me!! she asked "i jak tam z kolega?" and my gf said, crying "jest smutny i zalamany" only for her mum to reply "bedzie dobrze".

her dad asked her if she loves me, where i work(and surprising her dad thought i made the story up about the fact that i'm a programmer and work from home through the internet. he thinks i'm deceiving her daugther about the fact that i work from home, he thinks i made this story up, he doesn't believe it. i don't know if he doesn't believe the fact that you can work on the internet or the fact that i work from home), study, what language i speak, religion, what language i speak with my gf, etc. i mean very detailed questions. and for some reason i feel it's not really for the fact that i'm black. maybe it's about some strict tradition they want to stick to. i don't know. i can't say i don't care, i respect their traditions and all but this doesn't change the fact that i LOVE this girl. she eats less and she's very weak physically and emotionally.

her parents think that we can't be together cause there might be problems like, people will tease us and make fun of her daughter and with my gf being that weak, she can't take it. but being with my gf i could tell she grew stronger towards such things. and i can observe people's reactions when we're out in public places. people don't insult us. MOST people watch and smile in a way that seem like their are saying in their heads "beautiful couple". and trust me, i can tell an evil smile from a good one. the worst reactions from people is for them to just stare with neutral facial expression. whatever they think in their heads, i don't care about. most important for me is my gf grew stronger and more confident. she would reach for my hand every second, hug and kiss irrespective of who's around and how many people are watching. i asked her once "does it bother you when people say bad things about me in public, and she confidently said she doesn't care.

when her mum told her dad about us, her dad called her on phone and asked her to get home IMMEDIATELY (knowing she had an exam the following 2 days). she thought when she gets home her dad will be mad and scream at her in anger, but instead her dad was sad, very sad, nothing like she had seen before. her dad was sleepless for 2 days :(. this is not something i want for her parents but again, i love her! and it's not with her parents i'm going to be with neither with random people in the streets who stare and think whatever they have in their heads.

worst thing is this happened at the worst time of the year. we both failed 2 exams and last night she printed some small sheet to copy from cause she can't concentrate. she never did this, as far as i know.

@frenny: the girl who went to her ex is my older gf that i had to leave cause i could easily tell she was with me cause i'm black. this story is about a new girl who actually doesn't care about the colour of my skin. what she feels for me is meaningful to me than what my ex felt for me.

@harry: quite place under a bridge is nothing close to what you're imagining or picturing from movies. it's a totally safe and calm place with no stupid people around. we promised each other we'd go there one day but had to go there before her parents took us apart. we started the whole season of Game of Thrones, watched every episode and had to watch the last one last night cause we promised to finish it.
imano   
25 Jun 2014
Love / My Polish wife's family hate me. Maybe it is because I'm black. Advice needed. [87]

@mrgay69, i didn't insult any religion, if you feel that way then i'm really sorry. and if it's about passports, i don't need a polish passport! i have a better one. about school, i completed uni elsewhere. not in europe, not in africa. oh God, why am i even spending time on you, clearly you have no idea what you're talking about. there are very few normal people here, too bad.
imano   
25 Jun 2014
Love / My Polish wife's family hate me. Maybe it is because I'm black. Advice needed. [87]

Merged: My Polish girlfriend's parents don't want us to be together because I'm black, advice please

i don't get this really. when i got to Poland i had this gf who just "loved" me and was even ready to marry me but then later i found out that she just has a thing for blacks. i hate for someone to love me just cause of my skin colour the same way i abhor it when someone doesn't like me cause i'm black (but i care less about the latter). i just had to break up with this girl, who has returned to her ex in Belgium (ex is black. no surprise).

for a year i was really fighting VERY HARD to be with one particular girl from my university. this girl is awesome, like "bardzo porzadna!". i realised my colour didn't mean anything to her and i got to really like her. we developed feelings for each other and started a relationship 3 months ago. i'm so much into this girl. i'm not the kind who finds girls "just for the moment", i dislike this. i really planned a long relationship with this girl if not stay with her forever cause she is everything i want in a girl, she's super smart, kind, pretty, works out, all the good things. we were VERY VERY happy with each other. she has been living with her parents all her life till she came to Wroclaw (from Kluczbork) for studies. i love this girl...really! and i was very serious about her. i told her to tell her parents about us that we're together. cause i don't want to just "use" her, i had plans for her.

it appeared her parents are seriously "devout" catholics. so she told her parents about us and her parents said we can't be together.

REASON: cause i'm black!
they said they don't want to meet me and and told her daughter to end our relationship immediately. i don't know if i made a mistake about telling her to tell her parents about us. her parents asked her to choose me or them. can you believe this. if she decides to choose me, they'll stop supporting her and get her out of their house :(. at this moment i'm the saddest person on the planet! she's leaving for Kluczbork this thursday for the vacation. sadly we can't meet ever again. she wants to and she keeps telling me she is very happy with me. she the kind who's very weak and afraid (she's 21). i'm not really sure what to do. i spoke with her sisters (older) and they said, at the beginning of our relationship the most important thing is for her to be happy. and she was, i was VERY happy with her.

i spoke to them that i can go to Kluczbork and talk gently with their father, face to face like real me do, and literally beg him. i know it's lame, but i would do anything for this girl! i told her if her parents sack her from home i'd move away from my apartment, find a cheaper room and support her with the money left each month. i was really ready to die for her.

an hour ago i met with her, we tried to cheer each other up thinking buying some beer and going to a quite place under some bridge would work. it didn't. we ended up crying :(. i could look her in the eye and tell she really wants to be with me but is afraid her family will abandon her and i understand her.

i'm not really sure what to do now. i'm the most confused person on the planet. should i try to write a letter to her dad and maybe explain how much her daughter means to me? tell them how much i love her. would this help. i don't know how to react with some polish people but no offence, and with lots of respect, i think this country is very backward. how can a father take away something that gives their daughter happiness? this is very harsh.

maybe some polish people would be able to give me some nice ideas .
imano   
8 Dec 2012
Law / Working in EU countries and in UK with Poland's Residence Card (Karta Pobytu)? [51]

Merged: Polish (temporary residence permit). work in Holland?

hi friends.

i study in Poland and have a temporary polish residence permit. i want to ask if it's possible for me to work during the holidays in Holland. if i can't is there any extra thing i can do to work during the holidays in Holland. i'm not a European citizen :)...

thanks in advance for any help or advice.
imano   
4 Aug 2012
Love / My Polish bf cheated on me with a black girl [45]

he's probably going to get scammed. take this from an African. there are many africans, needing money so they pretend to be "girls" and "fall in love" with americans or europeans and dupe them. tell him not to be stupid. i'm from Ghana.