Love / Toxicity of SOME Polish Mothers Towards Their Daughters [36]

@Cojestdocholery, I've seen, heard and read too many stories like this and I know all the patterns, signs, etc. It looks like that it's usually daughters of such Polish mothers that are more affected by those toxic relations, than sons are. From what I've noticed it's easier for sons to cut that umbilical cord.


lol
Even we would sometimes spend Christmas or Easter with my father's parents. Very rarely, but still... Nowadays I kind of understand why my mother maybe wasn't so eager to spend holidays with my other grandparents - her mother-in-law was also a toxic person lol ;/

Has your girlfriend met your family already?


How? From what I've noticed Polish men often have pretty much "wywalone" as far as family matters are concerned, so my father's attitude isn't that unusual.

Love / Toxicity of SOME Polish Mothers Towards Their Daughters [36]


Not really, they're the exact opposite from your point of view. They're usually those traditional Polish mothers and wives who go to church, take care of kids and the house, bake 20 cakes for Christmas and make their own families spend every freaking holiday with her "original, most important" family. That is, if they didn't rebel and turned into their toxic mothers or their mother's little slaves.


?


The toxic types - yes. My female cousin even forbade her mother (=my aunt - my mother's sister) to tell my mother about her personal stuff. That's because my mother is a toxic person. And so is her mother (my aunt). Actually, both of my mother's sisters are toxic. The youngest of them is the most normal, but still...

Btw, my aunt is still telling our grandma about my cousins's personal stuff and my grandma is repeating all of that to my mother, so my mother gets to know stuff anyway... *sigh* I f*cking hate it. Fortunately the younger generation seems to be more normal.

Love / Toxicity of SOME Polish Mothers Towards Their Daughters [36]


Sweet Jesus, have mercy... It defenitely isn't the norm to spend every Saturday or Sunday with your parents for Polish couples... People have their own lives.


So true lol


Btw, in my case all those teachings came from my mother. My father had generally "wywalone".

Love / Toxicity of SOME Polish Mothers Towards Their Daughters [36]

@Videobroker, often both daughters and sons have close relations with their mothers in Poland. But there's "good close relations" and "bad close relations". Those "bad close relations" are usually when the mother is a toxic person. Adult kids of such mother often have problems with setting boundaries in their relations with their mother and have problems with standing up to her. It always has to be the way the mother wants.

The problem is that in Poland there's something I would call "family terror" and the "terror of the elders" (parents, your aunts and uncles always know better, even if you're an adult already). Families are often closely-knit. Family is everything. Family is the most important. You don't turn away from your family. And for a toxic type of a Polish Mother not spending Christmas or Easter together once in your life may be a "betrayal" of epic proportions lol And she will make you feel guilty for this.


Oh dear lol
So what is her mother like?


Yes, because often there's isn't much attachement. Maybe this is one of the reasons why Polish women may have stronger bonds with their mothers than their husbands... Because they weren't taught to have bonds with men? I don't know... Either way, it's kind of sad.


It sounds like your girlfriend needs to grow up... How old the two of you are, btw?

You know, the first step is to realise that there's a problem. I would give your girlfriend articles to read about toxic relations in Polish families, especially between Polish toxic mothers and their daughters. They've been an eye-opener for me. And not only the articles, but also the comments under those articles and blog posts of psychologists. It looks like there are a lot of Polish women with the same problem - their toxic mothers.

Maybe that will be enough. I think you should at least try. If it doesn't work, it is possible that she'll need a therapist's help with breaking that umbilical cord.

News / NATO expansion in northern Europe - great news for Poland [137]


No, noone wants to have cancer. Noone willingly invites cancer into one's body. So, in case of Ukraine your metaphor describes Russia, not NATO. Russia is the unwanted cancer that tries to spread all over one's body once it gets a foothold inside.

News / Will America send troops to fight a Russian invasion of Baltics and/or Poland? [283]

@Bobko, the Finns most definitely whooped the Soviet Army's asses. All you need to do is to look at the numbers - they don't lie.

According to the English version of Wikipedia the Finnish had 32 tanks, while the Soviets had 2,514-6,541 tanks. Finland had 114 aircraft and the Soviet Union had 3,880 aircraft. That's an absolutely crazy advantage in military strength!

The Winter War of 1939 ended with:

Finland - 25,904 dead soldiers
The Soviet Union - 126,875-167,976 dead soldiers

Finland - 43,557 wounded
The Soviet Union - 188,671-207,538 wounded or sick (including at least 61,506 sick or frostbitten).

Finland lost 20-30 tanks
The Soviet Union lost 1,200-3,543 tanks

Finland lost 62 aircraft
The Soviet Union lost 261-515 aircraft

Mind-blowing. That's some crazy sh1t figures!


Of course it was! For a nation of 3.5 million to defend itself against the Soviet Union which in 1939 had a population of 170 million and an overwhelming military advantage is verging on a freaking miracle! A real battle between David and Goliath!

The Finns lost however almost all of their tanks and a great part of their aircraft and with no outside help they had no other choice but to cede territory. They prevented however the Soviet Union from taking over their whole country. They managed to defend Finland's independence.


You are truly the hyena of Europe.


Of course they can. Their defense was truly heroic. I'm in absolute awe of them (and so was the world at that time, from what I've read). I don't know what kind of little, petty man you'd have to be to deny the Finnish soldiers the right to be called heroes after they managed to defend their homeland against such military power.

History / POLISH AND RUSSIAN FRIENDSHIP WILL LAST FOREVER [513]

@Lenka, yes, true, but those two young women cracked me up - I mean the one who pretended to bow down before that portrait of Putin and the other one was filming it or taking photos lol

History / POLISH AND RUSSIAN FRIENDSHIP WILL LAST FOREVER [513]

Something funny for a change - one Russian guy hanged a big portrait of Putin in his building's elevator in Moscow and put his camera next to a CCTV camera. Check out people's reactions (watch the whole thing!) ;D:

fb.watch/dWMFUiTlU_/

That was posted in 2021 - I wonder what the reactions would be now...

History / POLISH AND RUSSIAN FRIENDSHIP WILL LAST FOREVER [513]


In theory everything is possible, but that would be a very unlikely and wild scenario. Even Hitler needed a "good enough" reason that could "justify" invading Poland (German minority) in front of his people.

The Polish society would have to reach a higher level of insanity not only than the Russian society, but also than the German society under the Nazi rule, I guess. I don't know what would have to happen for something like this to take place...


But Ironside is a Konfederacja supporter. They're Polish nationalists. Some of them are pro-Russian, so maybe they would be willing to join Russia in partitioning Ukraine, but they're getting only a few percent of support in polls.

History / POLISH AND RUSSIAN FRIENDSHIP WILL LAST FOREVER [513]


It's difficult to imagine, to be honest... Majority of Poles don't consider Ukraine to be a "fake" country, we respect it's independence and their language. There is no big Polish minority in Ukraine that would have to be "saved". And a few objectionable monuments and street names isn't a good enough reason to invade a country...


First of all, such an invasion could happen most probably under an authoritarian or totalitarian regime, rather than in a normal democracy. Poles already stood up to such a regime during communist times. Of course it was easier for Poles, because that regime was forced upon Poland by a foreign power, so it wasn't viewed as unpatriotic to fight against it - on the contrary. Nevertheless, those opposing the regime were experiencing repressions, even a martial law was introduced. People were being sent to prison, fired from certain jobs, sent to the army, even if they didn't qualify for service, getting killed during strikes and protests.

History / POLISH AND RUSSIAN FRIENDSHIP WILL LAST FOREVER [513]

@Cojestdocholery, it's not that I prefer Velund over Bobko. It's just, in theory, Velund could be a product of Russian state propaganda. He lives in Russia. You can't say the same about Bobko. He lives in the West, he graduated from a Western university, he's enjoying all the benefits of democracy, free media, etc. And yet, he's a pro-Putin imperialist supporting invasion on Ukraine and he doesn't seem to mind all the death and destruction that the Russian army is inflicting in Ukraine. That's why he sends chills down my spine, no matter how "nice" he is.

Also, as far as I remember, he wrote that I wouldn't want to have him on the other side of the frontline in a war, or sth like that. I'm not sure what he meant, but probably nothing good :)


The end result would be the same for me in both situations - I'd get tortured (and killed if needs be).

History / POLISH AND RUSSIAN FRIENDSHIP WILL LAST FOREVER [513]


Yes, I realise that. It's natural that people are afraid. I didn't mean public protests or sth of this kind. But I think people could start organising themselves in not an open way. More like an underground social movement... Do you know what brought down communism in Poland? A trade union... It was called Solidarity... A bunch of ordinary people fighting, ironically, for workers' rights...

I remember that one Pole living in Berlin was laughing a bit at my friend from Moscow when she wrote that Russians probably have to start from basics, from their micro-worlds, like, for example, keeping the surroundings of their blocks of flats clean. But maybe she was right. It seems a civic society has to be built basically from scratch in Russia... You guys would have to learn to self-organise... Because one individual or a small group of people can't make a change or stand up to a regime. As you wrote, it's too dangerous. And pretty futile too. So, instead of having a few martyrs, it's better to organise and grow in numbers. Putin can lock up a few hundred or even a few thousand people, but he wouldn't be able to lock up millions. That was Solidarity's strength - 10 million members... "W kupie siła" as we say in Poland :)

Of course that wouldn't happen overnight, it would be a long process. Someone would have to educate people about the civic society, democracy and their benefits. That would be a lot of work though and I don't know if there would be enough people in Russia to take up such a task. Especially considering all the emigration that had happened after the invasion started...


Neither do I live in a little "world of hate" nor do I hate all things Russian. As you can see RussianAntiPutin is Russian and I don't hate her, so get a grip with reality.

Also, I'm not going to draw you into my world or anything else for that matter, because I don't need nor want such an impressionable, unstable and fickle drama queen like you in that world of mine, so get over yourself :)) This is a discussion forum and I'm simply sharing my opinions and observations. If you're not interested in them or you don't care what I think then you don't have to read them.


Oh, I don't think that all Russians who support the invasion are the same. It's just Bobko in my opinion is one of the worst types of those. I find Velund's hate, for example, against Ukraine for the casualties inflicted by Ukrainian forces in the Donbas region since 2014 more, let's say, "normal", than Bobko's cold imperialism. Hate can pass, but I doubt you can easily cure someone from imperialistic state of mind.

Of course, it would be great if I was wrong about Bobko, but so far he hasn't disagreed with anything I wrote about him, he hasn't denied anything or challenged my view of him. All he wrote was that he's a "doofus" in real life. What the f*ck is that supposed to mean? lol

(He's generally not very "responsive", so it's difficult to say whether anything people are writing, explaining, is sinking in in case of Bobko or not.)

And it's not just Bobko. During all those discussions with Russians I've noticed a pretty shocking lack of empathy and understanding for other nations and countries also among other pro-Putin Russians.

I've never noticed it among anti-Putin, pro-democratic Russians.

So, to sum it up, I find Russians like Bobko objectionable. Not all Russians, but Russian imperialists, chauvinists, Putinists. And not just because of their views, but also because of their lack of empathy, lack of moral values, cynicism, etc. Even if they're as polite as Bobko, because it's really not the most important quality in a human being for me.

History / POLISH AND RUSSIAN FRIENDSHIP WILL LAST FOREVER [513]

You guys are dividing up Russia in your minds so eagerly... but would people in those republics actually want that?


What policies are you talking about?


So you're two-faced? This is what I'm wondering about... Do your girlfriend and her parents know your views concerning war in Ukraine?

History / POLISH AND RUSSIAN FRIENDSHIP WILL LAST FOREVER [513]


I honestly doubt that his views can be changed in any way. I think you're being naive. He's here to present his views, not to change them.

And, anyway, Bobko is a guy who has no problem with the fact that innocent people are getting killed, cities destroyed and a country ruined to satisfy his country's imperialistic ambitions. Human life doesn't seem to be even a blip on his radar. He doesn't care. He doesn't seem to have any conscience and empathy. Do you think you can teach empathy and respect for human life to someone who has none? He is an adult man already. How are you going to do that?

Or maybe you also don't care?

It's strange to me that you get so invested in abortion issues, or women not wanting children, but at the same time you call someone like Bobko "not a bad guy". Russian soldiers are killing children too, not only adults. Children who have names and hopes and dreams already.


No, the people at the top won't change it, because they thrive on corruption. Only ordinary people can change it. Russians can't keep waiting for someone else to do that for them, because then the change will never happen. You have to take matters in your own hands. You have to organise yourselves. You, young people, could bring a change to your country. If not now, then once you're adults. You just have to believe that it's possible, that you can do it. Believe in yourselves. You're the future.

History / POLISH AND RUSSIAN FRIENDSHIP WILL LAST FOREVER [513]

@AntV, are you American? (just curious)


You can be friends with whomever you like, but if you were friends with a Nazi (not just any German, but a real Hitler supporter) I, as a fellow Pole, would make my feelings about it known to you. And I do that in case of Putinists too. Especially those who are so open about their imperialism. 🤮

History / POLISH AND RUSSIAN FRIENDSHIP WILL LAST FOREVER [513]

@AntV, but this thread is about Polish-Russian relations :)

History / POLISH AND RUSSIAN FRIENDSHIP WILL LAST FOREVER [513]


That was indeed the case until 2014. Not anymore though.


I did - in 2014. That was some rough wake up.


No, sorry, but I have no time to look for those posts. I know you don't support the invasion, but that was my general impression from your comments.

Btw, when I started my discussions with Russians I was a bit of a Russophile. Would you believe it now?? :)))

History / POLISH AND RUSSIAN FRIENDSHIP WILL LAST FOREVER [513]

@AntV, I entered into a rational exchange of perspectives with pro-Putin Russians seven years ago - I was more like GefreiterKania is now back then (just more balanced mentally and emotionally than him lol). And I kept going for those seven years. I was even one of the last Poles who gave up on those exchanges.

I'm all about discussing issues, but that's not all GefreiterKania is doing and I personally find his behaviour disgusting.


I honestly doubt that patting the back of Russians like Bobko will sow any seeds of peace. Germans were doing that for years and "understanding" them and look at the result. Bobko is able to return that pat on the back, because it costs him nothing. That's just empty talk. Later he will be able to put a knife in your back (that same back of yours that he patted) for the "good" of his country or level Warsaw to the ground. Judging by his stoic composure he probably won't even blink while doing so.

Btw, AntV, I've noticed a visible pro-appeasement (towards Russia) slant in many of your posts on the thread about the invasion, so, sorry, but you're not any authority for me as far as Polish-Russian relations are concerned.


GF isn't a Nazi or a facist, but I've noticed a touch of Polish imperialism in him on a few occasions. Maybe that's why he sees eye to eye with Bobko. Which just makes it worse.

History / POLISH AND RUSSIAN FRIENDSHIP WILL LAST FOREVER [513]


People like you and their support for Putin and the invasion of Ukraine are creating that "terrible context". You're responsible for that "terrible context". You and others like you have blood on their hands.

And, Bobko, for me you're worse than some poor, uneducated simpleton living in some Russian province and having only contact with Russian state TV. You live in the West and have access to all the information. You're intelligent and educated. You have no excuse, unlike some hick in the Russian countryside.

And you have an Ukrainian girlfriend! What is wrong with her?? Or do you hide your views from her and her parents? I wonder about the same in case of Dirk diggler - that Nazi lover claims to have a Jewish girlfriend o_O What a mindf*ck.


Then don't. I usually try not to allow those two to get the better of me either. I see a difference, however, between not being hateful and aggressive and actively engaging in blissful exchanges of pleasantries with an imperialist Russian scum, like Bobko, who's supporting evil actions of his country, with full knowledge of what those actions entail ("flattening cities", etc.). You two are patting each other's backs while people are dying in Ukraine and the country is being wrecked. It's disgusting.

Off-Topic / Funniest stuff said on PF! Please post the funniest convos, remakes, responses, name calling or whatever. [93]


Kania having German roots? Hmm, that would explain it... 🤔 lol

History / POLISH AND RUSSIAN FRIENDSHIP WILL LAST FOREVER [513]


Sorry, but you're like Novichok - a complete waste of time. I have better things to do in life ;)


Then you're wrong.


I'm afraid he's not playing... lol

History / POLISH AND RUSSIAN FRIENDSHIP WILL LAST FOREVER [513]


That mutual respect was possible because that German officer from "The Pianist" was a "good German". Also Oskar Schindler and the German officer who gave food to my grandfather's starving family were what we call "good Germans". They were so rare during the Nazi occupation of Poland that this term became somewhat proverbial.

Ukrainians these days are calling your people "good Russians" if they're anti-Putin and are against invading Ukraine and other neighbouring countries. Those "good Russians" are also rare, unfortunately.

You're not "a good Russian" though, Bobko. You're a Putinist. If you lived in the times of World War II in Germany you would be what Poles call a "hitlerowiec". A follower of Hitler and you'd be giving us in your cultured, well-mannered way your perspective on what "the Great Reich" wants.


You're clearly not intelligent enough to understand why I'm writing what I'm writing, so just ignore my posts and don't waste my time.


I'm not preaching, I'm sharing my thoughts and observations, just like you do. I'm not telling Russians to shut up on this forum, so I don't know what's your problem. As for me personally - as I already wrote more than once, I've discussed with Russians for 7 years and I know pretty well what they think and how they think and even how they lie and manipulate. But knock yourself out.

Off-Topic / Funniest stuff said on PF! Please post the funniest convos, remakes, responses, name calling or whatever. [93]

Yes :)

Off-Topic / Funniest stuff said on PF! Please post the funniest convos, remakes, responses, name calling or whatever. [93]

And me:

History / POLISH AND RUSSIAN FRIENDSHIP WILL LAST FOREVER [513]

@GefreiterKania, sorry, but me stating that Bobko is "mentally an executioner" makes more sense than you stating that a married, childless woman is "mentally a spinster".


People like Bobko and Velund are supporting and keeping leaders like Putin in power. They're supporting an invasion of Poland's neighbour, the destruction of a country and it's people. Just to put things into perspective.


Screw you too. I'm tired of your mood swings, I'm done with you, strange person :/


Exactly... :(

History / POLISH AND RUSSIAN FRIENDSHIP WILL LAST FOREVER [513]


You've shown us the perspective of a Russian imperialist who has no regard for human life, for the independence of other countries and no empathy. If that's the "Russian perspective" then I want a big wall to be built between Russia and Europe, a big, thick and a very high wall so we wouldn't have to deal with you people until you come to your senses (which may be never).


Yes, you Russians are good at it. Winning people over in this way and even whole nations and their political leaders. Many pro-Putin Russians were nice to me personally. Russians are very nice people on the personal level. You get an impression that all they want is to be friends, for our nations and countries to be friends. The problems start when you stop talking about books and kittens and scratch that pleasant surface. And underneath that pleasant, friendly surface there's an imperialist Bobko and all the Velunds who think that Ukraine is a fake country, Ukrainians are a fake nation and Nazis and their language is fake and invading and killing your Slavic "brothers" is OK. You get people deprived of empathy, amoral, cynical, hypocritical, cruel, narrow-minded, brainwashed and with no respect for other countries.

I don't mean the anti-Putin, pro-democratic Russian liberals, of course. They're normal, humane people, like us. But judging by the polls they are a small minority in Russia.


I'll put it like this - if some very cultured, elegant, intelligent, educated and well-mannered Nazi officer had a pleasant chat with you about ballet and Russian literature, he would give you some compliments and then he would shoot your sister in the head, because, in his mind, that was in the best interest of his country, would you care more about the fact that he was well-mannered towards you or that he shot your sister in the head? What would be more important for you?

For me Bobko is an executioner. An executioner wearing white gloves who perhaps haven't soiled his hands with blood yet, but mentally - an executioner nevertheless.

History / POLISH AND RUSSIAN FRIENDSHIP WILL LAST FOREVER [513]

@pawian, it's sickening to me too. Kania is exchanging pleasantries with Bobko even though he knows what a Russian imperialist he is and that he supports the invasion on Ukraine. What the hell?


In a way we are, imho.


He would answer that Auschwitz-Birkenau is fake news and anti-German propaganda.


As we can see by the example of Russia, discussion boards and the internet most probably wouldn't have changed anything...

History / POLISH AND RUSSIAN FRIENDSHIP WILL LAST FOREVER [513]


Even if it's true (and I don't know if it is) then those two nations lost the most due to World War II. It would be rather understandable if they wished the Germans did more to stop Hitler.


lol


I can't change Russians. I tried for 7 years. I completely gave up after Crimea annexation, because I've realised what they have become (or who they were all along...).

History / POLISH AND RUSSIAN FRIENDSHIP WILL LAST FOREVER [513]

@Novichok, I don't think that quote is meaningless. I think it's very true.

History / POLISH AND RUSSIAN FRIENDSHIP WILL LAST FOREVER [513]


Yup, just like Putin can count on Russians...


I kicked your ass many times, for example :)))


No, I meant both sexes.