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Posts by Paulina  

Joined: 31 Jan 2008 / Female ♀
Warnings: 1 - Q
Last Post: 30 Oct 2024
Threads: Total: 16 / Live: 10 / Archived: 6
Posts: Total: 4338 / Live: 3329 / Archived: 1009
From: Poland
Speaks Polish?: yes

Displayed posts: 3339 / page 27 of 112
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Paulina   
3 Jan 2024
Life / Poland's birthrate on the decline [480]

Nope. Plain misandry.

Nope. As I wrote - plain misogyny.

If you believe in gender equality as you claim then a divorce petition should always be filed jointly by both the husband and wife.

No, sorry, but what you're writing makes no sense. Both sexes can file for divorce, so there is gender equality in this respect. Men can file for divorce too if they wish, so there's no discrimination here. The fact that they don't want to file for divorce as often as women is their choice.

We evolved to pair bond and have children during a short window of time when both the male and female are young and at their fittest.

That's true, but thanks to advancement in medicine women can have kids at later age these days.

What women don't realize is they have to bring something to the table. But they can't.

The problem is that women often bring to the marital table more than men. I'm guessing that this is one of the reasons (maybe even the main one) why women file for divorce more often than men.
Paulina   
3 Jan 2024
Life / Poland's birthrate on the decline [480]

Also, can any women guarantee 100% that the children are biologically that of the father/husband they are living with?

You can do DNA paternity testing these days, "genius" lol

Nope. I'm just honest

Oh, I'm sure you're honest in your prejudice against women :)))

Feminists have never acknowledged this during their campaigns for power.

I don't know about that, I don't know what every feminist has ever said over the years. I can only speak for myself. I think that majority of jobs can be done by both sexes. There are some professions which men are more likely to do (that require greater physical strength) and professions which would be better if they were done by women for safety reasons (working with young children, since men are far more likely to be pedophiles). And I'm OK with that.

Do your own homework rather than expecting a man to do it for you. :)

No, if you make a claim and you're writing that your claim is based on data, stats, research, news reports or some official info then it's your job to prove your claim - provide your sources. That's how it works on this forum - no matter if it's a man or a woman making the claim. So, I'm not going to do your job for you. (Geez, another lazy mysoginistic rightist talking out of his ass!)
Paulina   
3 Jan 2024
Life / Poland's birthrate on the decline [480]

Working women wanted to "have it all"

Of course - since men have it all, then why women wouldn't?

but now resent "having to do it all

Of course - since men aren't "doing it all", then why women should?

the wife is trying to do little or nothing or so poorly in the hope the husband loses his patience and does it himself so then she will never have to?

It's funny how you're accusing women of what men are actually infamously doing. A peculiar case of projecting :)) That is how usually husbands behave, not wives. And it's apparently happening not only in Poland, because such behaviour even got its own name - "weaponized incompetence" :)))

If men earn more and therefore contribute more financially to the relationship then why on earth should they also have to do manual work around the house for free?

Because earning less doesn't equal spending less time at work and being less tired after work. So, sharing duties at home would be not only a humane thing to do, but also a smart thing to do on the part of the husband, because if apart from working the wife has to do everything at home and remember and think about almost everything then she's too tired and stressed out to have sex with the husband. After years of such marriage she may be so tired, burned out and disconnected from her husband that she will divorce him.

So, as you can see, sharing duties at home by the husband and wife together is also in the interest of the husband.

Also, I don't know what it's like in the US, but in Poland husbands often don't earn much more than wives. For example, my father was earning not much more than my mother and for some time she was earning more than him. And yet, she's been always doing much more at home even though my father had a much less tiring job than her and he was spending a lot of time on watching movies on a laptop at work. Even now, when they're retired, she's still doing more at home and she's the one taking care and playing with their granddaughter and taking her to the playground every freaking time. My father is too lazy to even peel an apple for himself - my mother has to do it for him.
Paulina   
2 Jan 2024
Life / Poland's birthrate on the decline [480]

Like I said before, men are expendable and women are privileged and women have always been fine with this status quo.

I don't know if men being "expendable" is behind it and to what extent. From nature's point of view maybe it makes sense, because you don't need many men to impregnate many women, I don't know. But I think the main reason why men were soldiers is simply because of their physical strength and predisposition for agression and violence. I guess being soldiers comes more "naturally" to them and for thousands of years being a warrior was a "men's thing". And it's still seen this way. There are also professions that are considered to be "feminine" or "for women", like preschool teachers, cleaning ladies, nurses, caretakers for older people, etc. and I haven't heard about men taking to the streets demanding to be hired as cleaning ladies or nurses. So, it looks like they're "fine with with this status quo".

and instead is only interested in creating a toxic work environment based on gossip, seeking entitlement for themselves, and at the same time doing everything to destroy the reputation of others

My God, you're such a f*cked up, prejudiced misogynist. Why are you always attributing only bad intentions to women? You're sick in the head.

No, that's not the reason why some men are not in favour of women in the army and in the police. There are usually two main reasons:

1. As Novichok wrote - women are simply often more petite and physically weaker, so they may not perform in some situations as well as men.

2. Plain misogyny.

Of course there are also police officers and soldiers who don't have a problem with women joining their formations.

Plenty of information not only on official sites

Links?

This only confirmed that you believe that the responsibilities of marriage can be disregarded at any time and for any reason.

It only confirmed that in my opinion everyone has a right to get a divorce. People shouldn't be forced to stay in a marriage if they don't want to be in it. Do you think they should be forced?
Paulina   
2 Jan 2024
Life / Poland's birthrate on the decline [480]

women not men are mostly likely to file for divorce.

That doesn't put men in a good light as husbands, does it. It looks like marriage is better/more convenient for men than for women. If that changed - maybe there would be less divorces :)

Women wield their "right" to file divorce as a weapon because they know full well that the man will be disadvantaged.

You must be talking about the US.

For men, it's a necessity and expectation. Society doesn't look after men. Society expects from men in order to provide to women.

Again, maybe that's the way in the US - I don't know. Not in Poland though. I'd say that both sexes are expected to work here. Maybe there's more pressure on men to support family, especially in more conservative regions, but it's completely normal for women to work. I was raised in a conservative region by a mother who was raised in the countryside and there was no question about the fact that I'm supposed to get education and a job, preferably a good one. There was no other option.

Okay, so give an example in recent years where being a woman rather than a man was the deciding factor in a positive outcome for everyone and not just women.

Women have been contributing in all kinds of fields since when they were allowed to do it.
Paulina   
2 Jan 2024
Life / Poland's birthrate on the decline [480]

Why were most of the men killed?

Because men are deemed as expendable and have always been ordered to serve.

You seem to be forgetting that women in the past weren't allowed into the military, even if they wanted to join.

Even these days men in the military or even in the police pretty often aren't terribly enthusiastic about women joining.

Btw:

"Russia is the only nation to deploy female combat troops in substantial numbers. Historically, female recruits either joined the military in disguise or were tacitly accepted by their units. Perhaps the most prominent was a contingent of front-line light cavalry in a Cossack regiment commanded from 1915 to 1917 by a female colonel, Alexandra Kudasheva (1873-1921?). This cavalry regiment fought in WWI and also during the Russian Revolution. and may have been the first gender-integrated regiment in Russian history. She was also noted for her endurance riding feats."

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Women_in_the_military

Their decisions are not made on a case-by-case basis.

How do you know? And which courts are you talking about? In the US? In Poland?

conveniently disregard marriage as a responsibility of both the husband and wife.

No, I don't. You're talking nonsense.
Paulina   
2 Jan 2024
Life / Poland's birthrate on the decline [480]

It is fair.

Of course it isn't.

If a woman wants a professional career then that is a personal choice.

It's the same in case of a man. It's the man's "personal choice" too :)))

Poland is always about a decade out of sync with other countries. Give it time.

I'm guessing it's not about time, but about you living in the US. Maybe in the US people need to work multiple jobs. I don't think it's the case in Western Europe. 🤔

There isn't a single instance in history where the female gender was the deciding factor in something meaningful apart from population numbers.

In the past women weren't in the position to be anything else than "breeding cows", because they weren't allowed to be anything else by men. In recent years it's been changing. Slowly, but still. So - give it time :)
Paulina   
2 Jan 2024
Life / Poland's birthrate on the decline [480]

Why not give instant joint custody

I'm guessing that the type of custody is being decided by the court on case by case basis depending on the situation. Sorry, but I don't know how it works exactly - I've never been through a divorce.

So if you say you are willing to give up power and privilege then you will agree that no divorce petition should proceed unless both parties give their consent.

Sorry, but you're not making sense to me. What does it have to do with "power and privilege"? People should be able to get a divorce if they wish - no matter what is their sex o_O It's a basic right and not some "privilege" lol

Therefore in most cases a wife's divorce petition should be denied unless the husband agrees to it. You would agree to this, right?

Of course not lol o_O
Paulina   
2 Jan 2024
Life / Poland's birthrate on the decline [480]

So when you as a woman come home late from a construction site or making lorry deliveries all day you will finish the laundry and dishwashing your husband couldn't do

As I already wrote - sharing responsibilities fairly. That doesn't exclude having common sense. So if one spouse is working and the other stays with the kids at home - it's pretty obvious that the one who stays at home will be doing most of the chores. Having said that - this person will still need a breather from the house work and taking care of kids in order to not go insane.

However, if both parents are working the duties and responsibilities at home should be shared equally - which is often not the case in Poland = working women are doing most of the work at home and they're taking care of children. That's not fair.

In developed economies both genders often need to work multiple jobs to try to get by

Not in Poland.

It is sexist, female-chauvinism to assume only a woman has the ability to take care of children and a house and therefore the responsibility is on men to prove they can as well.

LOL
Sorry, Poloniusz, but it was you who wrote that "Having men work and having women stay at home to care for children is what works best". So, could you explain it to me why it's "the best" when women stay at home and take care of children and not men?
Paulina   
2 Jan 2024
Life / Poland's birthrate on the decline [480]

"Shared fairly" but only to women's satisfaction.

Nope. Simply shared fairly.

Not universally. Having both men and women working depressed wages while causing ever widening economic disparities.

Sorry, but I can't see that. In traditional countries "economic disparities" are far greater.

Okay, so what privileges will you as a woman give up in exchange for men taking on more duties and responsibilities?

I thought it's pretty obvious. You were talking about courts giving kids to mothers. If fathers start actually taking care of their kids and will be able to take care of the house on their own (as in - not being życiowe sieroty) then they will be more likely to get child custody after getting divorce. Simple :)
Paulina   
2 Jan 2024
Life / Poland's birthrate on the decline [480]

No regrets, no tears, not even a phone call.

Can't blame you.

As a result, I swore not to be like them.

Yup. My sentiments exactly.

So now we hug at every visit and tell them how proud we are as parents. I hear and say "I love you" more often than necessary.

Awesome. 👍
Paulina   
2 Jan 2024
Life / Poland's birthrate on the decline [480]

responsibilities are flipped

Not flipped but shared fairly.

Having men work and having women stay at home to care for children is what works best consistently and all across society.

That's clearly not true if you compare Western countries with traditional countries. Western countries are more successful, richer, etc.

Lies.

Nope, it's true.

No you don't. Women never want to cede their power and privilege.

You clearly don't understand what I'm talking about. It's not only about ceding "power and privileges" but also duties and responsibilities. You know - those duties and responsibilities that men don't like so much :)))
Paulina   
2 Jan 2024
Life / Poland's birthrate on the decline [480]

Fathers are to lay down the laws and enforce them.

Fathers from my parents generation weren't doing even that. They were simply doing pretty much nothing. That included giving zero affection to their kids.

What court would give a child to someone like that?

Women are too weak for the job and too agreeable.

That's not true - at least in the case of Polish women.

We never took part in our kids' lives

Considering what their father is like - that's probably for the better lol This is probably why they turned out normal :))) Oh, and btw, I'm not talking about being "helicopter parents". I'm talking about normal parenting and simply taking care of your kids.
Paulina   
2 Jan 2024
Life / Poland's birthrate on the decline [480]

They don't need to take part in their lives

There you go, Poloniusz - that's a typical selfish, lazy, clueless, autistic and a$$holish older generation Polish father attitude for you :) (and probably typical not only for Polish fathers)
Paulina   
2 Jan 2024
Love / Smitten and Wondering [81]

@Ironside, that meme shows that I find your trolling boring (and off topic) and I'm not going to take part in it. So, I'm afraid you'll have to play on your own. 😴
Paulina   
2 Jan 2024
Life / Poland's birthrate on the decline [480]

You have daddy issues but you are not the average. Many fathers have parented and wanted to.

I'm sure there were some fathers that parented, but I'm talking about an average Polish family during the time when I was a kid. I'm not talking only about the case of my parents, obviously.

Feminists fought against this and the courts sided with the women.

Courts giving kids to mothers stems from the conviction in the Polish society that kids belong with their mother. And this is result of the fact that in Poland it have been mothers who have been taking care of kids so far. And this is because of the conviction that it's the mother's job to take care of the kids. And this is a traditional, patriarchal approach, not a feminist one. It is changing a bit with younger generations and I hope it will change further.

Now study after study shows the many benefits of having fathers in the lives of children.

Yes, but provided they actually take part in their lives, actually take care of them and don't just take the back seat letting the mother do all the work.
Paulina   
2 Jan 2024
Love / Smitten and Wondering [81]

You are not even married

You don't know that :))) And it wouldn't matter anyway. It's the single women who are looking for a husband, not married women. And to a woman looking for a husband you'd be a one big walking red flag lol

how would you know/?

I can read :)))))))

You love me.

boring
Paulina   
2 Jan 2024
Love / Smitten and Wondering [81]

Hey. it is not nice to call me names for no reason at all. I have never cheated on you.

Sorry, but based on your comments in this thread - you don't strike me as a good husband material, especially for a decent Christian woman :))) You sound like someone who's very, very likely to cheat on your wife. You're one big walking red flag lol

Seems to me that you have that anti-male prejudice and should seek some help.

Nope, I developed an anti-Ironside prejudice by now :)))

No, it means you don't care enough about the truth

No, it means I'm not going to do your work for you, you lazy ass.
Paulina   
2 Jan 2024
Life / Poland's birthrate on the decline [480]

You only want rights and no responsibilities.

No, we just wish all the burdens and responsibilities weren't put on just our shoulders. And if the society wants to have children, then it will have to make it easier for people to have those children. That's the reality. Wishful thinking of misogynistic a$$holes won't change that reality.
Paulina   
2 Jan 2024
Life / Poland's birthrate on the decline [480]

Is that still a sex-tourism hotspot

Oh, those dark-eyed, handsome, tanned habibis, mmmm... haha :D

Co-parenting in Muslim countries

There doesn't seem to be much parenting happening in Egypt, I'm afraid.

You know, the sort of arrangement that used to be done in Poland before communism and feminism.

Bullsh1t. Parenting wasn't done by fathers, but by mothers. And that's what it was like when I was a kid, because many men are lazy, selfish a$$holes :)

It's feminist like yourself who are fine with the importation of the third worlders.

Not really, not all feminists are the same. Just like not all "third worlders" are the same.
Paulina   
2 Jan 2024
Love / Smitten and Wondering [81]

@Ironside, I'm not going to waste my time anymore - if you don't provide sources, it means you're talking out of your ass. End of story.

I have made that comment to wind up Lenka

You're wasting my time then :/

You should assume that I know reality much more than you do.

Of course not.

Yet again you go all emotional and your anti-male pending frustration results in your letting your steam out.

I have no "anti-male pending frustration". I'm not anti-male. I'm anti-selfish__and_hypocritical_cheating_a$$holes, like you :)))

only about a different attitude to sex and fidelity in different cultures.

Well then... lol:

thestandard.com.hk/breaking-news/section/4/200697/Woman-jailed-as-puppeteer-behind-revenge-acid-attack-on-cheating-husband

"On the day of the incident, Ho called Luk to get drain cleaner and planned revenge on Cheung for his extra-marital affair."

privatedetective.co.uk/infidelity-cheating-role-private-detectives-around-world/

"China's divorce rate has been growing exponentially and extramarital affairs are cited in 73% of marriage breakdowns."

:)
Paulina   
2 Jan 2024
Life / Poland's birthrate on the decline [480]

An admission that selfish Western women want everything done for them.

:D
Poloniusz, you probably should go and live in Egypt for a while, for example, and see how "hard-working" Muslim housewives are lol

Why should government and corporations be burdened with co-parenting?

Because society needs new people and you can't have new people without children being born. Unless, of course, you prefer importing "third worlders" :)))
Paulina   
2 Jan 2024
Love / Smitten and Wondering [81]

I really can't find any logical arguments in your post no 50.

Here you have a break down of most of the points I made in my post #50:

1. Your wishful thinking that the wife should have a more "relaxed attitude" to his husband cheating is just that - wishful thinking. It is unrealistic. Most women would be hurt by their husbands cheating on them and in many cases that would be a cause for divorce in our part of the world (which includes the US where Scorpio411 lives). That's the reality. The fact you wish it wasn't so won't change the reality. So, you have to deal with reality and not men's fantasies and wishful thinking.

2. As for your comment that "we see that situation from our perspective". Scorpio411 lives in "our perspective". He doesn't live in Asia or in some tribe in Africa. It doesn't matter that you like it the way it is in Asia lol Scorpio411 doesn't live in Asia. Where he lives cheating on your wife usually has consequences - wives are far less likely to put up with it. That's the reality and, again, your wishful thinking and your male fantasies won't change that reality.

3. Monogamy isn't characteristic only for Christian and post-Christian countries. Polygamy is actually rare in this world.

4. If you and Scorpio411 prefer it the way it is in Asia then nothing is stopping you from moving to Asia :)) Don't let the door hit you on the way out! :)))

byebye

:D

I know it and you know it too.

No, we don't know, so please enlighten us with your sources or we'll have every right to claim that you're talking out of your ass :D
Paulina   
2 Jan 2024
Love / Smitten and Wondering [81]

@Ironside, of course there are. You prefer to pretend that there aren't any, because you have no counterarguments to what I wrote in that post #50 :)))
Paulina   
2 Jan 2024
Love / Smitten and Wondering [81]

Alternatively, the response would have been - I'm not entirely happy with you too

This may happen. I think it's probably not uncommon that if a marriage is failing then it's not the fault of just one person. It may happen that both the husband and wife are neglecting their relationship. And in order to fix that you have to... talk about it. Because how do you know that there's something to fix if the other person won't tell you that there's something wrong?

I still can't find them

Why? Are you stupid? :)

I'm not here to provide you with sources or quotes or whatnot.

You make the claim, so it is your job to prove it and provide your sources. Until you do that - you're talking out of your ass.
Paulina   
2 Jan 2024
Love / Smitten and Wondering [81]

lol! I see that working out for him just splendidly!

Well, I'd say that trying to fix your marriage is a better option than destroying it completely by cheating on your spouse - at least for normal people o_O

You have that theoretical knowledge about long-term relationships don't you? lol!

Iron, the fact that you were or are not able to talk about problems in your marriage and find solutions to those problems doesn't mean that everyone is like this. You're projecting too much. There are better, more mature and more intelligent people in this world than you - both men and women. I'm not saying that this is easy, but it can be done.

Girl, 9 out of 10 women would read it as - I don't love you anymore!

Nonsense. Adult people usually know enough about life to realise that after some years of marriage a crisis may come, etc. Many women would prefer to know what's wrong rather than to be cheated on and find out at some point that their husband has been having an affair for the last 5 years or is f*cking prostitutes on regular basis o_O

From a woman's perspective - the fact that a guy is willing to fight for his marriage shows that he cares. That he wants to be with his wife in a real (and not fake) relationship. That maybe he still loves her.
Paulina   
2 Jan 2024
Love / Smitten and Wondering [81]

By the way - why would men have to work on their marriage?

If you mean Scorpio411's case then by "working on his marriage" I meant that he should tell his wife that he's missing something in their marriage. Tell her what that it is, what could be improved, etc. And if he doesn't know what is that he's missing exactly or doesn't know how to tell this to his wife or how this should be fixed, then maybe they should try marriage counselling.
Paulina   
2 Jan 2024
Love / Smitten and Wondering [81]

point them out, there is no any.

Of course there are. My post #50 is full of them. Read it again.

That is what men oft say as opposed to women who always blame men.

Bullsh1t.

I'm talking about scientific data here ..not hearsay or female wonderland.

What scientific data? I am not aware of any scientific data showing that women get "broken" after having a few partners and are "unable to form a long-term bond with one man".

anybody is attracted to young women, so what? That is an evolutionary biological factor. Don't bring up it in an accusatory fashion...

You were the one who started automatically to blame the wife and that's why I pointed out that "evolutionary biological factor" to you.
Paulina   
2 Jan 2024
Love / Smitten and Wondering [81]

You sound very rattled. (...) pretending that you like to discuss issues. You just want to have your say (...) emotional feminist BS and women's yapp that does not have much meaning or rhythm

Bullsh1t. Stop with this demagogic evasion :) I presented you with some facts and logical arguments. Do you have any counterarguments?
Because it looks like you don't have any and that's why you're starting spouting your usual nonsense :))