The BEST Guide to POLAND
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Posts by pawian  

Joined: 30 May 2008 / Male ♂
Last Post: 19 Mar 2025
Threads: Total: 226 / Live: 154 / Archived: 72
Posts: Total: 27404 / Live: 21321 / Archived: 6083
From: Poe land
Speaks Polish?: Yes, but I prefer English
Interests: Everything funny

Displayed posts: 21475 / page 13 of 716
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pawian   
1 Mar 2025
USA, Canada / American wanting to move to Poland from USA - how hard is it? [40]

a 70-year-old man in the United States can expect to live to 85

Exactly not. Only 77. Ha!!!

You are a noble exception. We are so lucky to have you here. Ha!! Thank you for everything.

considering what they eat

Yes, for example they eat the so called "Polish" hot dog which has never lain next to original Polish sausage. They should call it Russian hot dog to please that Golden Cow Trump.
pawian   
1 Mar 2025
History / Life in communist Poland - personal relations [503]

Polish jokes were also exported to neighbouring countries where they were adapted to local contexts:

Here, a 1990s export to Belarus:

During an international congress of surgeons, a German speaks:
"We found a hand on the side of the road, sewed it on a guy and he became a super-efficient worker." To which a Russian replies: "We found legs, sewed them on a disabled person and he became a world champion in the 60-meter dash." Then an American: "We found a head, sewed it on a corpse and he became a Nobel Prize winner." Then came the Belarusian: "In the Mogilev forests we found an ass. We sewed a moustache on it and that's how we got the president"

pawian   
1 Mar 2025
Po polsku / Polska Broń Atomowa [106]

Iron na przykład. Ci nacjonaliści to by sprzedali własną matkę byle dorwać się do władzy.
pawian   
1 Mar 2025
Off-Topic / Stock Market Talk and Trading - part 2 [747]

Great to see Tesla stock absolutely collapse.

Musk predicted it. That is why he has been sucking on Golden Cow Trump for the past years to make up for the losses in his business.
Actually, he is a clever businessman.
pawian   
1 Mar 2025
News / Mister President Andrzej Duda - Best Poland could get. [96]

Duda reminds me of Dracula vampire from the first film made 100 years ago. Goddess, protect us from such blood sucking leaders. Why are you afflicting Poland with them? What have we done wrong???


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pawian   
1 Mar 2025
Po polsku / Polska Broń Atomowa [106]

just my Polish paranoia.

Nie polska. Torqowska. :):):)
pawian   
1 Mar 2025
History / Life in communist Poland - personal relations [503]

In the USSR, a competition was announced for the best cuckoo clock. Third place was taken by a clock from which a cuckoo jumped out every hour and cried, "Lenin, Lenin." Second place was given to a clock from which a cuckoo jumped out every half hour and cried, "Lenin." First place was given to a clock from which Lenin jumped out every quarter of an hour and cried, "Cuckoo-cuckoo-cuckoo."

The Public Opinion Research Agency conducts a survey on the lack of
meat. What does "lack" mean? - asks the American. What is "meat"? - wonders the Pole. What is a "survey"? - asks the Russian

Czech, Lech aka Pole and Rus walked. They walked and walked until they reached the Vltava River. There Czech decided to stay. Lech and Rus walked further. They walked for a long time until they reached the Vistula River. Here Lech decided to settle. Only Rus went further. And he has been walking so far. He was last seen in Afghanistan.

All nations are prone to gambling:
Five young Americans get into their cars and race; one car has faulty brakes, but it is not known which one. Five Frenchmen go to a brothel; one of the sexworkers has syphilis, but it is not known which one.
Five Poles sit down to a liter of vodka and tell political jokes. One of them is an informant, but it is not known which one.

American scientists have made a terrible discovery: in three days the world will end. They decided to check how individual nations would react to this news. They fly over France, and everyone there is making love. They fly over Poland, and everyone is drinking heavily. They fly over the USSR, and meanwhile there are clouds of dust in the air. To see something, they fly lower, look and see a huge banner: "Five-year plan for the development of economy in three days!!!"

pawian   
1 Mar 2025
History / Life in communist Poland - personal relations [503]

Jokes aimed at communism were very popular. Also spread by party members and other supporters of the system.
Can Monaco be a communist state?
- No, because it would be too great a misfortune for such a small country.

Trade agreement between Poland and the Soviet Union:
1. The Soviet Union will receive half of its mined coal from Poland.
2. In return, Poland will send half of its sugar and pork production to the Soviet Union

The party is consistent. When the party says it won't give it - then it won't! When the party says it will give it - then it says.

What is the difference between democracy and socialist democracy?
- ​​Like the difference between a chair and an electric chair

A newsboy to a Soviet soldier:
- Comrade! Buy a newspaper!
- I don't smoke! - replies the soldier.

Szczyt aka the pinnacle of Polish dreams in the seventies: Jaroszewicz's widow tells the dying Jabłoński's wife that Gierek died on the way to Brezhnev's funeral (hint: names of communist leaders are mentioned)

A passer-by to a ZOMO riot police officer:
- Where did you buy the oranges?
- In the shop around the corner.
- And is the queue long?
- No, just for one ammo magazine.

pawian   
1 Mar 2025
Po polsku / Polska Broń Atomowa [106]

Pamiętasz

To genialnie użyte słowo wyjaśnia wszystko, a zwłaszcza Tobie. Mianowicie wspominasz niemiecką prehistorię. :):):)

Lebensraumami

Prehistoria niemiecka.

Skup sie na czasie teraźniejszym i zagrożeniu ze wschodu a nie z Niemiec.

Fala Uderza w Togliati!!!!
pawian   
1 Mar 2025
Po polsku / Polska Broń Atomowa [106]

na AfD

Weź...... :):):)
100 razy lepsza AfD u władzy niż Rosja w przesmyku. :):):) Przecież widzisz wyraźnie że obecni Niemcy są inni. 100 lat temu dyszeli żądzą zemsty za Traktat Wersalski. Dzisiaj zemsty już nie pragną bo za co??? Nie chcą jedynie immigrantów. To jest za mało żeby wrócił Lebensraum itp.
Nie prowokuj. Nie jesteś Novim ani wredną małpą. Masz być porządny. :):):)
pawian   
1 Mar 2025
News / Dirty deeds of foreign guys in Poland [128]

If the deportation case described below is implemented, then I must praise the gov of Mr Honourable Prime Minister Reverend Donald Holy Tusk for their efficacy.

A total of 119 penalty points were collected by a BMW driver from Ukraine who was caught speeding 12 times in Poland. The man was recorded by CANARD speed cameras. The 19-year-old, thinking he would go unpunished, deliberately broke the current restriction each time by sticking up his middle finger for a photo.

Habitual violations of speed limits and open mockery of Polish regulations will have very serious consequences for a driver from Ukraine.

As reported by Commander of the State Border Guard in Poznań-Ławica - after analysing the evidence collected, he issued a decision obliging the foreigner to return to the country, imposing the penalty of immediate execution .

Due to the threat to public safety and order, an 8-year ban on re-entry to the Schengen area was also imposed.



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pawian   
1 Mar 2025
News / Chairman Kaczyński said........ part two [28]

the PiS chairman was admitted as an "NN" patient, which means a person of unknown identity.

Long time no see our fave JK aka NN cartoons. Here is another one.


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pawian   
1 Mar 2025
News / Future of Polish-Ukrainian relations [669]

romanticism, there is positivism, and after that Dmowski.

Don`t mix completely different notions. Romanticism and positivism were noble artistic, social, cultural and intellectual movements while Dmowski`s was crude nationalist ideology directed against Jews and other minorities.
to call you Anglo-saxon.

Calling sb American sounds like a slur today.
pawian   
1 Mar 2025
Po polsku / Polska Broń Atomowa [106]

to należy być na to przygotowanym

Zamiast na władzę AfD która jest mało realna, lepiej być przygotowanym na ruską agresję na przesmyk suwalski która jest już bardzo realna.

Popioły Królewca!!!!!
pawian   
1 Mar 2025
Po polsku / Dyrdymałki o Niczem 2 [312]

to wzór zdrowia

Niektóre raki rozwijają się bezobjawowo........
pawian   
28 Feb 2025
USA, Canada / To move back to Poland from the USA or not to move back....that is the question [124]

It is such a shame to be American today.

Of course, there are millions of decent Americans. It is so unfair they have to suffer the embarassment caused by their maniacal Golden Cow leader.

- This is a total disgrace - wrote California congressman Robert Garcia on the X portal. - Attacks on Ukraine, on Zelensky, on Biden - a disgraceful reaction from the American president - he added.

Tommy Vietor, a former Obama White House official and co-host of the podcast "Pod Save America," wrote on X. "These f***ing ******** lecture and patronize Zelensky, then grovel to Putin at every opportunity. Absolutely disgraceful."

Former Republican congressman Adam Kinzinger, who is a frequent critic of Donald Trump, also weighed in, writing: "The Ukrainian head of state should tell JD Vance to go to hell, you little jerk."

Ron Filipkowski, a former prosecutor, wrote: "This is absolutely disgusting. I am ashamed to be an American. Disgusting."

Tom Nichols, a journalist associated with "The Atlantic", wrote on X that the clash between Trump and Zelensky is a boon for Putin. - This is the video the Kremlin needed.

pawian   
28 Feb 2025
Life / The climate for gardening in Poland [340]

I see.

All in all, I have to praise you again as one of the most intelligent members of this forum. Losers like Novi or Joker could kiss your boots, hoping you share some of your intelligence with them.