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My Polish boyfriend fancies are Pakistani neighbor. What do I do ?


OP umm_hottie 2 | 75  
7 Aug 2008 /  #31
I dont want him to leave me.Its not as simple as that i love him and i know he does me too its not his fault , its my fault i always nag at him and he doesnt like it.

But thanks for all your advice
take care
Zgubiony 15 | 1,554  
7 Aug 2008 /  #32
It's already doomed. If he fancies someone else that usually means he's tired of you. Sorry if that sounds harsh.
OP umm_hottie 2 | 75  
7 Aug 2008 /  #33
I need to win him back there must be something i can do too show him id do anything for him.
We were meant to be together we are soulmates
miranda  
7 Aug 2008 /  #34
it is too late baby, it's too late.
OP umm_hottie 2 | 75  
7 Aug 2008 /  #35
I guess i just cant give up on something i no thats meant to be.I honestly belive he was made for me i just guess i got too wait for him too see that too
ShelleyS 14 | 2,893  
7 Aug 2008 /  #36
I need to win him back there must be something i can do too show him id do anything for him.
We were meant to be together we are soulmates

It's a lost cause, walk away with your head held high...love and respect go hand in hand, you can't have one without the other, he is showing you little of either.

Sh*g his best mate, that'll teach him!
OP umm_hottie 2 | 75  
7 Aug 2008 /  #37
He was my first and if i cant be with him i want no one else i have been with him since i was 17 and im 20 now i moved in with him on my 18th.

He must care about me and love me because he told me in the beginning he could marry me i dont want anyone else there must be something i could change to make him see
ShelleyS 14 | 2,893  
7 Aug 2008 /  #38
umm_hottie

Honey, go back to your mums for a week or so, you need to clear your head. You don't deserve to feel like this, none of this is your doing and you deserve so much more.

You can not make someone love you. People change, sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse.
OP umm_hottie 2 | 75  
7 Aug 2008 /  #39
how can i do that when i dont know how to be without him , i feel like i cant breathe when he is not there.

Why cant he see how much i love him i want to spend my whole life with him
ShelleyS 14 | 2,893  
7 Aug 2008 /  #40
how can i do that when i dont know how to be without him

You managed for 17 years, you can manage for 2 weeks.

i feel like i cant breathe when he is not there.

The situation is stressing you out, this is not good for you.

Why cant he see how much i love him i want to spend my whole life with him

He knows full well how much you love him and he also knows that he can manipulate you because of this, honey he's not treating you well and you are making yourself go crazy...

As hard as it may sound a break from him will do you good...catch your breath and get your head straight x
Foreigner4 12 | 1,769  
7 Aug 2008 /  #41
pakistani people can be soooooo attractive it's ridiculous. that being said if a guy is ready to dump his girl based on looks, well then, that's obviously the level he's at. it doesn't matter if your feelings are deeper, his aren't. you have to acknowledge that and act accordingly.

Hey maybe you could go find a pakistani guy, i can't stand being in the room with those suave fcukers and their big brown eyes and their perfect jawlines high cheekbones, etc.

Strategy number 2 is make friends with the temptress and let her know that your man has a lil wiener and any other negative features you can add on. it's not honest and probably won't lead to happiness but hey, it's your life.
OP umm_hottie 2 | 75  
7 Aug 2008 /  #42
He has already asked selimah out lots of times and she just flirts with him and tells him shes good and doesnt like bad boys and then he likes her even more.

I dont want anyone else its him or no one else, when he finishes work he sits outside and waits for her too come and then he talks to her all the guys like her and always tell her too come to our house.

But her brother is very stict i think and when he is around she never flirts she just says hi my friend pheobe says i should tell her family but if i did i know my bf would dump me when he found out

thanks shelly but i think i might wait some more time he might change his mind one day
X
Gosiaa 2 | 89  
7 Aug 2008 /  #43
well if your bf really likes that neighbour girl....when he makes love with you
he thinks about HER ... How does that make you feel ? do you still love him ?
or are you angry ? jealous ?
I think I would't be able to stand a situation like that !
Just dump him .... it is better to be the one who dumps than the one being dumped.
Grzegorz_ 51 | 6,161  
7 Aug 2008 /  #44
I don't believe It.
polishgirltx  
7 Aug 2008 /  #45
this thread is a joke, right?
ShelleyS 14 | 2,893  
7 Aug 2008 /  #46
I dont think so..It better not be, I've been very nice!
Zgubiony 15 | 1,554  
7 Aug 2008 /  #47
LOL, he's even asked her out and you still don't get it. You need a better guy because you're going to have footprints all over you soon.
Spade 1 | 81  
7 Aug 2008 /  #48
I hope they break up and the credit for that would go to the great PF community :D didn't we already manage to do it 99 times in past ?, and its going to be case no. 100 :P

Cheers!!
OP umm_hottie 2 | 75  
8 Aug 2008 /  #49
I came here for support and advice not for you too tell me too break up with lukasz.
For those who helped me thankyou
IronsE11 2 | 442  
8 Aug 2008 /  #50
I came here for support and advice

*cough* bullsh*t *cough*
polishgirltx  
8 Aug 2008 /  #51
I came here for support and advice not for you too tell me too break up with lukasz.

hehehe.... i recommend you to grow up then :D
tornado2007 11 | 2,274  
8 Aug 2008 /  #52
I came here for support and advice not for you too tell me too break up with lukasz.
For those who helped me thankyou

hi there, i don't know your name, so i'm just going to have to call you umm_hottie, its not the thing i usually call a lady.

On the original post, you typed out your situation and how you felt, then asked people for their advice on what you should do.

You have read a number of replies, here is mine to add, when i've typed out what i think you should do, i've got a few more home truths for you.

OK your situation is that your boyfriend is living with you and your friends. You have been together for a while but now he is feeling something for another girl, her religion, origin, race etc etc has nothing to do with it. As far as i understand it, he has told you how he feels about this girl. He wants to break up with you.

You on the other hand don't want to break up with a guy that 'DOES NOT LOVE YOU ANYMORE' how loud does he have to say it. Your so desperate because you do not see an ulternative to what you are used to or don't see a future for yourself without him. Well i've got news for you love, YOU HAVE!!!!. If he dosen't want to be with you then don't force him, there is nothing worse than forcing a relationship to continue when one side is not into it.

So the best thing you can do is agree to split with your boyfriend, stay as friends and get on with the rest of your life. It is very difficult and yes there will be a time where your down and you don't know whether your coming or going, you will get through that stage and be much better for it.

So there is the situation done, now for the other home truth:

Let me quote it once more:

I came here for support and advice

and that is exactly what you got, whether you like what people have to say, that is their advice, break up with him, leave him or whatever. Just because you've heard something that you don't want to hear it does not mean its wrong!!!! Please remember that.

tell me too break up with lukasz

well what were you expecting people to say, 'yeah stick with it, its sure to work out in the end' or 'stay with him, don't worry if he starts sleeping with the girl next door, he will get bored soon' no no no no no no no no no, the thing is you know, you just need to wake up and admit to yourself that what people are telling you is right.

For those who helped me thankyou

i'll take your thank you in advance.

T
mafketis 24 | 9,144  
8 Aug 2008 /  #53
I came here for support and advice not for you too tell me too break up with lukasz.

Time for "tough love".

What part of "he doesn't want you" don't you understand? Do tanga trzeba dwojga, and he's looking for another partner cause he doesn't want to dance with you. It doesn't matter how much you want to be with him, he doesn't want to be with you. You can't force him to want you. It's over. Accept it and move on.

Two choices:

Read the writing on the wall and leave while you still have some dignity.

Let him walk all over you and use you until he grows the balls to dump your needy, clingy ass.
Softsong 5 | 495  
8 Aug 2008 /  #54
There is nothing more that makes a man love a woman less, than seeing that she has no life of her own. That she is willing to sacrifice her dignity. The only way anyone can love you is when you show that you love yourself enough to do what's good for you.

It seems to me you are stuck in either nag-anger mode, or faking the attitude that he can do anything he wants including disrespect you, flirt with her and ask her out in front of you. A man can only hold you in value, if you hold yourself in value.

You need to do what is good for you. Focusing on him, winnning him, will all drive him further away. Do things you enjoy, think of yourself and he might be drawn back to you. But, like the others, I believe it is too late. But clutching him, begging him, convincing him, all will drive him away. He may stay with you a bit longer due to pity and nothing else. Show him the strong, interesting woman who values yourself and you might have a slim chance. Focus on you, not him.
Wroclaw Boy  
8 Aug 2008 /  #55
My polish boyfriend fancys are pakistani neighbour .What do i do ?

Offer him a threesome
OP umm_hottie 2 | 75  
8 Aug 2008 /  #56
Its easy for everyone too tell me this but its way too much harder too do it.I sacrificed so much for him and all because i really though we are meant to be.

Shellys : thanks for all your advice i know he doesnt love me anymore but i guess i wanted to fight because i think we had something worth saving

T: My name is Alyssa and thankyou for your advice i guess the truth hurts and your right its not what i want to hear i have had everyone telling me to leave him from day 1 its been a losing battle i lost family and friends in the process.

To everyone else thanks
Take care
A X
tornado2007 11 | 2,274  
8 Aug 2008 /  #57
Its easy for everyone too tell me this but its way too much harder too do it.I sacrificed so much for him and all because i really though we are meant to be.

It is very hard, who said it was going to be easy??? Its just the first steps you have to take and nobody else can take them for you. Yes you probably did give up a lot for him, your going to lose a lot if you do leave him and you will lose even more if you don't. It is better to cut your losses and get it done as early as possible, it will cause you less pain if you do. Whatever your thought about him being the one, you were wrong, he clearly likes somebody else and he has told you as much to your face.

T: My name is Alyssa and thankyou for your advice i guess the truth hurts and your right its not what i want to hear i have had everyone telling me to leave him from day 1 its been a losing battle i lost family and friends in the process.

well Alyssa, i guess your right, it is easy for me to sit here and give you the advice which you have to act on. I like many other people have found myself in a similar situation to yourself. My friends were telling me what i'm telling you know. Luckily your boyfriend has been very honest to you how he feels, which is more than what i go. I think you should respect him for his honesty and let him get on with his life, whether or not that includes you.

i lost family and friends in the process.

you don't have to answer the question publicly if you don't want to but why did you lose your family and friends?? was it a case of him or them?? or have you moved away from them, therefore not seeing a lot of your family and old friends anymore???

I wish you all the best as whatever you decide you have a tough time coming up

T
OP umm_hottie 2 | 75  
8 Aug 2008 /  #58
I lost my parents because they told me i shouldnt get in a relationship with him because he was a bad influence and because he smoke and drank and partied alot with his friends and smoked a sheesha thing.My parents wanted me to complete my A levels and i didnt i left them so i could be with him and eventualy it come to me spending all my time with him that i stopped seeing friends and and then it come to me having to make a choice it was them or him and i chose him.

Thats one thing i can never forgive myself for after i did it i must have hurt my family so bad after everything they did for me.But i never ever told them i was sorry i never tried to keep in touch and i havent seen them in a while.

Thanks
beckski 12 | 1,617  
8 Aug 2008 /  #59
I dont understand why polish men like pakistani girls but my boyfriend tells me its because they dont have girls like her in poland.

Perhaps your boyfriend likes women who never take a bath for 3 mos!!!
Arise_St_George 9 | 419  
8 Aug 2008 /  #60
Some Pakistani/Indian women are attractive. In general I don't like Pakis as when I think of Pakistan or Pakis I think of muslims but the odd one can grab your eye, especially when wearing makeup. There's a young Pakistani girl where I work, she has a great smile, absolutely beautiful and alot of guys like her. She's not Muslim.

Here is an example of what some Pakistani/Indian women can look like (this is a Pakistani woman;)

The one at my workplace looks 20 times better.

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