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I do not understand my Polish boyfriend


latinmatkapolka 2 | 6  
26 Jul 2008 /  #1
Hi all!
So...My history is long and complicated. I meet my Polish boyfriend when I came to poland for an art workshop. I was living in Swiss for an stipendium of art. So..We fall in love and he proposed me to move to polonia with him, this way that agrees. He is employed at investments, this way that the majority of the time I was alone without being able to speak because polish it was so dificult and in very small villige. Good ... they passed a few months and i ged pregnet, we decide to have the baby. The relation was not improving, was every worse day, everyday he was goin to work to cracovia and I was remaining alone. Desues that we had to the baby, to six month later i was pregnet again. Good , we have two small babys. We have a difference of 12 years and late I realized that his mother does everything for him. Now all the time goes away of trip with the pretext that has work, but he has free time for. And when I want free time is always a problem.He said to me that already he cannot live with me because him has stress, for my it is not a problem to return to my country or to change to another country from the UE, but he dont want i take babys with me and he not want to sign the legal papers. He wannt i stay in this villige to take care of the babies and he was move to cracovia! For god I am not matka polka!! I am Latin power girl!! What shout i do?
miranda  
26 Jul 2008 /  #2
well, if he is not doing what a proper husband does that you need to leave him and g back to your own country.

He sounds hopeless. He doesn't want to be with you, yet he doesn't give you any freedom.

You need to speak to your parents and tell them to bring you back to your country with the children.
krysia 23 | 3,057  
26 Jul 2008 /  #3
You not married, take the kids and leave mama's boy.
Wroclaw 44 | 5,386  
26 Jul 2008 /  #4
she can't take the kids without his permission. That's the law.

And that's her problem. She needs him to sign the documents.

Problem. If he doesn't sign then she's stuck where she is or leaves without the kids.
inkrakow  
26 Jul 2008 /  #5
get yourself a good lawyer, in Krakow if necessary, and fight for your rights.
OP latinmatkapolka 2 | 6  
26 Jul 2008 /  #6
Thats right wrosclaw, without his permission I cannot take the girls with me. I must say that he is a very good father he loves they daughters and they to. Simply I believe that the problem is that we knew ouerself when already he was very old, and he ged use to live alone. We have good times also as a couple, but being mother 24 hours and alone in a new country it is not very satisfactory. Also I wants to develop myself like a professional and as woman.
Wroclaw 44 | 5,386  
26 Jul 2008 /  #7
Can his family help you with the kids ?

If they help look after the kids occassionally, it might give you some time to sort out your future.
OP latinmatkapolka 2 | 6  
26 Jul 2008 /  #8
It is not so easy for my an obtains a loyer. His family is very good with me and they know that I have reason but lamentably it is a family that takes care what the people think about them. If I make a big problem of this, in certain form to betrey the confidence and support of his family.
polishgirltx  
26 Jul 2008 /  #9
wow....a master troublemaker...

we knew ouerself when already he was very old,

hehehe....

well, i don't know what to say....you know, think before you do and stuff, but it's too late for that now...
the one thing comes to my mind and somebody already had said that - get a lawyer ...
and talk to him about the situation and what you want to do....
miranda  
26 Jul 2008 /  #10
His family is very good with me and they know that I have reason but lamentably it is a family that takes care what the people think about them.

if that is the case why they don't worry about the fact that he is not married to you?
Wroclaw 44 | 5,386  
26 Jul 2008 /  #11
If I make a big problem of this, in certain form to betrey the confidence and support of his family.

Don't fight his family. You can't possibly win.

You have to work with them. Maybe become more friendly. If they learn to respect you a bit more then they might be more willing to help.
OP latinmatkapolka 2 | 6  
26 Jul 2008 /  #12
Mother of my boyfriend helps me with Belen that is 18 months old, but not much. Since she handles some papers in the company, she attends to the father and she is a matka polka 100 % hahaha and my another daughter is 5 months old so... is to much for live both girls plus work plus work at home with my mother in law. I have to found a nana. But when my boy friend have good humor is good idea to look for one but when hi is engry is not good idea.

They worry that we are not married, but my boyfriend always changes topic when someone asks when we will marry or simply he finds many excuses or gets angry
Wroclaw 44 | 5,386  
26 Jul 2008 /  #13
I'm glad to hear that you are getting some help from his mother.

If he hasn't married you yet, he is not going to.

I think he is angry with himself because of the position he has put himself in.

When he has bad humour, does he shout at you ?

Are you sure that you want to stay in Poland ?

I mean, if you and the children could leave, would you go ?
Firestorm 6 | 400  
26 Jul 2008 /  #14
He wanted the sex fast enough. But not the responsibilities that come with it.

He doesnt even want to live with her. Just know that HIS children are in the country.

Why not just pack the childrens stuff. Bundle them up.
Go to his momma's house.
Pop them on her knee. And leave.

Im willing to bet by the time she got to the airport. He's be there waiting.
And willing to agree to most of her terms.

Drastic i know. But sometimes shock tactics are needed to wake some people up.
polishgirltx  
26 Jul 2008 /  #15
Pop them on her knee. And leave.

Im willing to bet by the time she got to the airport. He's be there waiting.

that's risky... if i were her i'd watch the kids all the time....you never know what a great idea he might come up with...

the situation is difficult and the kids are to worry about the most...
Firestorm 6 | 400  
26 Jul 2008 /  #16
the situation is difficult and the kids are to worry about the most...

True.
But he obviously doesnt care enough about them to want to spend anytime in the family home.
People like him make me sick inside. Screw up her life. But no way will he let her mess with his little world.

Its obviousy not an option for her.
Mb the lawyer can shake him up.
miranda  
26 Jul 2008 /  #17
Mb the lawyer can shake him up.

she is not in a position to get one.
I think that Wroclaw advices and questions are very appropriate in this situation.
shewolf 5 | 1,077  
26 Jul 2008 /  #18
He said to me that already he cannot live with me because him has stress

I am Latin power girl!!

Why is it a stress for him to live with you? Do you treat him bad? Maybe he's not used to being treated the Latin power way. I don't think it would be fair to take his children away if he wants them to stay. It doesn't sound like he ever agreed to make a lifetime commitment to you. What a difficult situation. I wish you luck.
polishgirltx  
26 Jul 2008 /  #19
it always takes two to tango....

good luck latinmatkapolska...
OP latinmatkapolka 2 | 6  
27 Jul 2008 /  #20
Hi all!! Thank you for your advices.
Well, I treat it very well, I do everything, always I clean, babys they are happy, I cook very well hehe, i try to be independent the most as possible , am not demanding with regard to the money, often I pay my things with saved money that I have.

Simply I believe that the problem is that he is a bad-mannered child.
That always pipe everything what he wannt, it he never had economic problems, he didnt work until 28 years or something this way. And now, when he has responsibilities that he cannot leave, (love for his daughters), plus estress since he handles big quantities of money. But the stress that has is due to the fact that he is not someone responsible, constant and organized, briefly he is the causer of his stress.It is very difficult for my to think with the head about this situation, regardless he is a very good father and when have good times he can be adorable. But when the things are not done as he likes so....he is possible to transform in someone that I do not know. And in spite of so many problems, my feelings for him are very strong.=(

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