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Abuse in relationships (my first Polish girlfriend)


lesser 4 | 1,311  
9 Aug 2009 /  #31
Abused men, certified product of public education! :)

Men are almost always stronger than women. If she is attacking you just make her stop. As I said, just grab her arms, and hold her still, until she understands what the f*ck she's doing

Swede is right here, I would just add something. Relax, do it with honest smile on your face, tell her that she looks sexy when angry and then offer sex. Big deal... :)
ZIMMY 6 | 1,602  
9 Aug 2009 /  #32
{Sokrates] my girl tried to kick my ass i'd restrain her, Szwed is right we're stronger, if you're getting beaten by your spouse it only proves something is wrong with you as well as with her.

----------------
That was the thinking in the past but unfortunately you are way out of date on how things are now. Thanks to feminism, even restraining a woman who is beating on you can get you in trouble.

Not infrequently, when a woman starts a physical fight and the man calls the authorities, it is 'he' who is either arrested or asked to leave the premises. For those men who are unaware of the feminist anti-male policies, I'd suggest you get up to speed in this century and find out what the new realities are. The old male bravado does not work in our feminized western cultures.

I suggest you take some time and read the link I posted (post 29). Here is just one scary and unfair tidbit from it;

"Hundreds of jurisdictions have adopted what are called "must-arrest" policies: that is, when local police are called to a scene of reported domestic abuse, they must arrest one partner (almost always the man) even if, by the time the authorities arrive, the incident has cooled off and there is no sign of violence, and even if (as is often the case) the woman doesn't want the man arrested. Many of these same jurisdictions have also enacted "no-drop" policies--meaning that if a woman does press charges, she will not be permitted to change her mind and drop them later. Under VAWA, $33 million will be spent this year on the "Grants to Encourage Arrest" program, which uses federal money to induce localities to adopt must-arrest policies. Next year, the budget of the "Grants to Encourage Arrest" program will jump to $59 million."
Sokrates 8 | 3,346  
9 Aug 2009 /  #33
That was the thinking but unfortunately you are way out of date on how things are now. Thanks to feminism, even restraining a woman who is beating on you can get you in trouble.

The moment i'd get reported for something like that is the moment i'd leave her.

must-arrest" policies:

I agree with these policies completely, read up on how women wont report abusive partners even if the children suffer.
SzwedwPolsce 11 | 1,595  
9 Aug 2009 /  #34
Relax, do it with honest smile on your face, tell her that she looks sexy when angry and then offer sex.

More sex is probably what these ladies need. And some therapy.
ShelleyS 14 | 2,893  
9 Aug 2009 /  #35
if you're getting beaten by your spouse it only proves something is wrong with you as well as with her.

Not really, it means that you're dating a screwed up female, who you should turn your back on and walk away as fast as you can and never look back, violence of any kind is WRONG be from a woman or a man.

Swede is right here, I would just add something. Relax, do it with honest smile on your face, tell her that she looks sexy when angry and then offer sex. Big deal... :)

Yeah maybe women should try that when they're getting punched in the face by a bloke...not sure it'd work though.
ZIMMY 6 | 1,602  
9 Aug 2009 /  #36
The moment i'd get reported for something like that is the moment i'd leave her.

You answer so simply yet leaving someone is a very complicated thing to do. What about finances? furniture? contracts between the two of you? kids? etc, etc. Does she get the house then?

{Sokrates]must-arrest" policies:
I agree with these policies completely, read up on how women wont report abusive partners even if the children suffer.
---------------
It's obvious that you are oblivious to the information provided in my link. Perhaps men with outdated ideas like yours are the ones responsible for the one-sided anti-male policies that govern domestic relationships.

Example; a woman seeking a divorce decides to call the police to claim that she is being beaten; the police arrive and find the innocent husband watching television. The "must arrest" law which you foolishly champion makes it imperative that you are arrested - and yes, no immediate proof is needed, just her word. Now she has the upper hand in divorce and custody of kids (which women have anyhow) while you sulk in your cell for a day, pay for a lawyer and otherwise blow lots of money for your defense.

As to your comment that women don't report abuse, that is true but a much higher percentage of women do report abuse (even if there isn't any) than men. It is much more shameful for men to report being hit or beaten by women than the other way around.

For you not to understand the inherent unfairness in our systems which govern these laws is shocking. ...and there are so many of these one-sided laws.

Your lack of logic in these matters is astounding.
csulb.edu/~mfiebert/assault.htm
lesser 4 | 1,311  
9 Aug 2009 /  #37
More sex is probably what these ladies need.

Most likely!

Yeah maybe women should try that when they're getting punched in the face by a bloke...not sure it'd work though.

I'm afraid that this may work in one direction only :)

You answer so simply yet leaving someone is a very complicated thing to do. What about finances? furniture? contracts between the two of you? kids? etc, etc. Does she get the house then?

A lot of useless questions. Such person should rather think what is wrong with him if he cannot handle his wife. More likely this is because such "men" is not less emotional than his women.

It may be true that politically correct brigade control courts but such cases (excluding really drastic examples) should never be the subject for the state.

It is much more shameful for men to report being hit or beaten by women than the other way around.

Sorry but truth is brutal, such men should be ashamed and don't deserve any mercy! They should not bother state apparatus with their indolence.
OP Lefty 13 | 124  
9 Aug 2009 /  #38
I agree mostly with what ZIMMY says however there is such a thing as being too anti-feminism.

I'm not sitting here complaining that she abused me because she didn't. She lost her temper and lashed out and I've done the same by smashing the sh*t out of whats nearby i.e. a door or a wall etc but I've never once thought about actually laying a finger on her because I'm better than that.

I just expected her to be sorry in some way for what she did rather than say "I've done that to my ex's and they never said anything about hitting me back" (Read my original post before anyone claims that I threatened to hit her) I merely said that she was lucky I didn't hit her back because some men would have done that.

Then I start to wonder if other women may be like this and like welshguyinpoland said he has seen it and so has dtaylor so maybe it's not so random after all. I notice that the people who did speak up after being assaulted are British and not Polish so it does make me wonder if this is a typical behavior in Poland, we all know that a stereotype Polak man would rather die than be ridiculed by his peers (or maybe we don't all think that but it's the impression I get).

I did restrain her as sb mentioned earlier then I walked out.

It's been an eye opener though.

Ohh and McCoy... go and have a wank you little sh*t. ;)
SzwedwPolsce 11 | 1,595  
9 Aug 2009 /  #39
it does make me wonder if this is a typical behavior in Poland

I think some girls in all countries have delivered a b!tch-slap as a present for their BF.
OP Lefty 13 | 124  
9 Aug 2009 /  #40
Mate, I don't mean to be rude but are you doubting my intelligence?

I know what a slap is and I also know what attacking someone is, I had a partial black eye and cuts on my face and legs.

Hardly a over the top chat up line in a club.
SzwedwPolsce 11 | 1,595  
9 Aug 2009 /  #41
Mate, I don't mean to be rude but are you doubting my intelligence?

No.

I know what a slap is and I also know what attacking someone is, I had a partial black eye and cuts on my face and legs.

I'm sorry to hear. You probably deserve someone better than her. But you have to defend yourself. It's not fun to use violence against a woman, but if she goes totally crazy you don't have any other choice. You don't want her to beat you up. It's called self defence and nothing else. Then tell her to f*ck off. And if she doesn't report her to the police.
welshguyinpola 23 | 463  
9 Aug 2009 /  #42
Then I start to wonder if other women may be like this and like welshguyinpoland said he has seen it and so has dtaylor so maybe it's not so random after all. I notice that the people who did speak up after being assaulted are British and not Polish so it does make me wonder if this is a typical behavior in Poland

It is but polish guys refuse to reveal it and they just sit back and accept it. Thats why these womwne thik they can do it to Britis bf cos theyve done it all their lives to their polish men
ZIMMY 6 | 1,602  
9 Aug 2009 /  #43
A lot of useless questions. Such person should rather think what is wrong with him if he cannot handle his wife.

How archaic; women reading that comment would just smirk and laugh at such antiquated thinking. Today's women don't accept being 'handled' and indeed attempt to prove it in many ways. Your comments are reminiscent of someone talking as if it's the 1950's. Such macho bravado always hurts men especially in modern times. Times have changed, evidently you haven't.

such men should be ashamed and don't deserve any mercy! They should not bother state apparatus with their indolence.

Such men should just meekly accept that which our courts dish out at them, and as you put it, not concern themselves with a "state apparatus" which will nevertheless, concern "such men" when they lose their kids, house, money, and anything else the courts decide because women will use the legal structures even if men don't. This is the definition of stupidity.

I admit that I am amazed at how little some men know about the realities of modern domestic life and how they don't know how to (legally) protect themselves. Macho thinking indeed.
Sokrates 8 | 3,346  
9 Aug 2009 /  #44
You answer so simply yet leaving someone is a very complicated

No, its very hard but not very complicated, i did it a couple of times already, if a relationship cant or is not worth salvaging then taking a hike is the only way.
lesser 4 | 1,311  
9 Aug 2009 /  #45
How archaic; women reading that comment would just smirk and laugh at such antiquated thinking. Today's women don't accept being 'handled' and indeed attempt to prove it in many ways. Your comments are reminiscent of someone talking as if it's the 1950's. Such macho bravado always hurts men especially in modern times. Times have changed, evidently you haven't.

You are simply lacking confidence, you don't feel to be master of the situation and this is really your problem. Stereotypical macho is rather brainless and to handle relationship one must use brain from the very start. What do you expect, that men will stop being men because this is supposed to be archaic?

The question of courts infected by leftism is another matter and should be discussed in other thread.
ZIMMY 6 | 1,602  
9 Aug 2009 /  #46
You are simply lacking confidence, you don't feel to be master of the situation and this is really your problem.

Men who think this way get burned by the legal system.

I had to guffaw as to your "lacking confidence" comment. I probably have more contact with women in one week than you have in several months, and there's a reason for it.

You are a dinosaur in your thinking and there are women in this forum who hate what I say yet understand the truth of it.

Stereotypical macho is rather brainless

Agreed, so you should stop being 'macho'. It never wins in court and besides, women find it stupid.

What do you expect, that men will stop being men because this is supposed to be archaic?

No, but men should be smart men not like the ones who fear having recourse to legal protections, especially in our society which nourishes cries of false abuse and yes, even false charges of rape.

The question of courts infected by leftism is another matter and should be discussed in other thread.

It's liberalism that has infected our courts with anti-male bias and (it) keeps men second class citizens when it comes to justisce for men.
niejestemcapita 2 | 561  
9 Aug 2009 /  #47
there are women in this forum who hate what I say yet understand the truth of it.

so true ZIMMY...but IT's not the WHOLE PICTURE!!! You are just like the feminists who CHOOSE the bits that suit their agenda and tell HALF TRUTHS!!
SzwedwPolsce 11 | 1,595  
10 Aug 2009 /  #48
It's liberalism that has infected our courts with anti-male bias and (it) keeps men second class citizens when it comes to justisce for men.

So if a woman were prosecuted in court for beating up her boyfriend she would not be convicted? Of course she would be. So... tell me more in detail what you mean by "anti-male bias" in courts.

The classical definition is that "liberalism is a broad class of political philosophies that considers individual liberty and equality to be the most important political goals".

So, if you say that liberalism made us men "second class citizens when it comes to justisce", you are wrong per definition. Because, per definition, liberalism wants equalty, not that women should be superior to men.
welshguyinpola 23 | 463  
10 Aug 2009 /  #49
So... tell me more in detail what you mean by "anti-male bias" in courts.

This is the case with my brother, he is a very good father to his child but because the mother of the said child went to court and told them he was bad, they withdrew visitation rights, no questions asked. The coursts are always willing to believe any woman over a man, its a sad fact.
ZIMMY 6 | 1,602  
10 Aug 2009 /  #50
You are just like the feminists who CHOOSE the bits that suit their agenda and tell HALF TRUTHS!!

It is mens' truths that are finally being expressed. Surely you are aware of the thousands of feminist books (yes thousands); and magazines, and various articles, etc, that have inundated our societies these past several decades. Virtually all of them are not only one-sided but full of anti-male bias and lies. Men's expressions in these areas have been almost non existent, indeed, a very small fraction compared to the avalanche of women's studies etc. The ratio is something like 30 to 1!

Courts and laws have been affected by this viral antimale misandry and its liberal proponents.

So you'll forgive me if I dare to express the flip side, one that contains much truth not expressed in general media thus unknown to many, as evidenced even here.

So if a woman were prosecuted in court for beating up her boyfriend she would not be convicted? Of course she would be.

There is great disparity between men and women when it comes to sentencing. Additionally, women are not convicted at the same ratios as men are [i]for the same offence]. Courts have even justified women's defenses which are not applicable to men.

per definition, liberalism wants equalty, not that women should be superior to men.

Lol, yes indeed "per definition". Thank you for the chuckle.
lesser 4 | 1,311  
10 Aug 2009 /  #51
Men who think this way get burned by the legal system.

Agreed, so you should stop being 'macho'. It never wins in court and besides, women find it stupid.

No, but men should be smart men not like the ones who fear having recourse to legal protections, especially in our society which nourishes cries of false abuse and yes, even false charges of rape.

It's liberalism that has infected our courts with anti-male bias and (it) keeps men second class citizens when it comes to justisce for men.

Analyse of your posting is quite interesting... :)

You concentrate fully on a legal system and courts and this is very wrong attitude. (state is interested only to collect your money ) You think that this is smart to win a case in a court? I think that same fact that such case is already in court is a disaster. The point is to handle the relationship and this is smart! When a men is abused by women this is because he does allow her to behave like that. Women might be far from perfection but she don't have natural ability to succeed in this field. Neither interest to become a lonely mother for example.

You are a dinosaur in your thinking and there are women in this forum who hate what I say yet understand the truth of it.

You see, this is confrontation rhetoric, you are obsessed by this issue. Instead to calm down the emotions you go the opposite way and this is your mistake.

I probably have more contact with women in one week than you have in several months, and there's a reason for it.

I don't know you, perhaps this is true. However this is you the one who appears to have serious problems and this is you who seems to cannot handle the situation.Your supposed experience lead you to this confrontation rhetoric that you use in this thread.

It's liberalism that has infected our courts with anti-male bias and (it) keeps men second class citizens when it comes to justisce for men.

As I have wrote before. I see that mad political correctness reached to courts but this is separate problem.

Beside of that this is bad American custom to say "liberalism" instead of "leftism". The first is freedom minded ideology, while the second preach for the oppression of the state.

The classical definition is that "liberalism is a broad class of political philosophies that considers individual liberty and equality to be the most important political goals".

Absolutely not. You can have either liberty or equality. Equality is a goal of egalitarianism, and this is in fact a totalitarian (anti-liberal) ideology.
scrappleton - | 829  
10 Aug 2009 /  #52
he is a very good father to his child but because the mother of the said child went to court and told them he was bad, they withdrew visitation rights, no questions asked

I believe it and that kind of thing happens a lot. It's always what the women wants: they have total sway in the courts, in the office, just about every where else in western life. The flow of life is often dictated by their whims.

I didn't think it was that bad in Europe though.
ShelleyS 14 | 2,893  
10 Aug 2009 /  #53
Lefty

Just a question, are you still with her? If so why?

Another question, if she was the same nationality as you would you go on a forum and ask people if they thought it was okay for girl kick seven bells out of them, because aparently they'd done with it with previous ex boyfriends?

I dont really think that this has anything to do with her nationality, she's just a phsyco biatch who needs to be left alone with her thoughts, permanently.

I didn't think it was that bad in Europe though.

In England most of the time the Police dont get involved because its classed as "domestic" there have been cases where the Police have been called and not bothered to turn up and then a woman has been found battered to death by her loving boyfriend. As for wesh's post regarding his brother, this does happen but there must have been other things going on, they simply wouldnt revoke his access on hearsay. Sorry Welsh, but it's along process and there must have been other contributing factors.
OP Lefty 13 | 124  
10 Aug 2009 /  #54
Just a question, are you still with her? If so why?

No, I am not.

Another question, if she was the same nationality as you would you go on a forum and ask people if they thought it was okay for girl kick seven bells out of them, because aparently they'd done with it with previous ex boyfriends?

It's my first relationship with a Polish girl and I've never witnessed this type of behavior with English girls... nor German... nor South African... I just found it strange the comment she made and it made me wonder if this type of behavior is typical in Poland.

I dont really think that this has anything to do with her nationality.

Maybe you are right.
Tymoteusz 2 | 353  
10 Aug 2009 /  #55
bad American custom to say "liberalism" instead of "leftism". The first is freedom minded ideology, while the second preach for the oppression of the state.

Thanks for the clarification. "Politics of meaning" is in heavy play these days. It helps to clarify meanings.

I believe it and that kind of thing happens a lot. It's always what the women wants: they have total sway in the courts, in the office, just about every where else in western life. The flow of life is often dictated by their whims.

I work with a group of 22 men. seven of them raised their children as single parents, one got child support payments from the woman. The courts were disinterested in pursuing payment from, or punishment for the other six.
ShelleyS 14 | 2,893  
10 Aug 2009 /  #56
I just found it strange the comment she made and it made me wonder if this type of behavior is typical in Poland.

She tried to justify it, that's all. Evidently her ex Polish boyfriends didnt put up with it because the most probably dumped her!

I've never witnessed this type of behavior with English

Oh some of them have tempers, but for the most part, we'll just ignore you or find other forms of punishment ;0)

Anyway, Im glad you dumped her, plenty more fish in the sea sweety.

Maybe you are right.

Im a woman, Im always right.
OP Lefty 13 | 124  
10 Aug 2009 /  #57
Anyway, Im glad you dumped her, plenty more fish in the sea sweety.

Cheers.
pgtx 30 | 3,156  
10 Aug 2009 /  #58
Polish girlfriend) is that the norm culturally?

yes... we love to beat the crap out of every man we meet...
cmon Lefty... a real smart woman hits not to leave any bruises and she makes sure he won't write about it on any forum... ;P
OP Lefty 13 | 124  
11 Aug 2009 /  #59
yes... we love to beat the crap out of every man we meet...

:)

cmon Lefty... a real smart woman hits not to leave any bruises and she makes sure he won't write about it on any forum... ;P

lol
johncardwell 3 | 110  
11 Aug 2009 /  #60
Very interesting topic.

Thanks for posting it.

When I was in Poland I noticed something similar to this macho behavior that you are speaking about.

I noticed in the dance clubs that the Polish Girls would flirt with other guys and that some of the Polish Guys would glare jealously at the guys the girls were flirting with.

Or worse, threaten the other guys the girls were flirting with.
When in reality it was mostly the girl's fault.
They approached the other guys most of the time to do the flirting.

These Polish Guys didn't realize that they were being manipulated.
Their anger was misdirected.
They should have been getting angry at the girl, not the other guys.
Basically they were being manipulated to protect or save a girl that was not worth protecting or saving.
In fact it could be logically argued that these girls should have been being pimped.
After all, they are already marketing themselves.
But that is a different topic.

This code of honor thing that these macho guys embrace is a "heads you win", "tails I lose" sort of thing for them.

They are just too stupid to realize it.
But I thought these were isolated cases only in the dance clubs with bad girls and stupid guys.

So if a culture exists like you described, where, if a guy hits a girl and he is beaten for it, and if she hits him he must tolerate it.

I would say this is probably one of the lowest and most degrading cultures a man could live in.
Completely matriarchal and female-dominated.
With the women using and manipulating the men to protect them and justify their own bad behavior.

Why not just put the man on a leash with a spiked collar?
That is all he is in a culture like this.
A stupid, brainless, pit-bull dog reduced only to security duty.
Only the most stupid of men would live in a culture like this if they did not have to.

So I don't believe that Poland is like this.
I think this is some sick subculture of Poland that you are experiencing and it is not embraced by the majority.
Just like what I saw in the dance clubs.
After all Poland is still Catholic, and Catholicism is Patriarchal, yes?

At least that is what I think.
Am I correct anyone?
If anyone could enlighten me I would be grateful.

But certainly Poland is becoming more Matriarchal.

For your particular case:
I think you have a belligerent girl on your hands.
Already she has many ex-boyfriends, probably for a good reason.
She does not appear to have self-control.
Self-control, governs speech, physical reactions, sexual behavior and even eating.
So with no self-control, she will probably not only grow worse in terms of behavior and become more violent and slutty, but also grow larger in stature (obese).

Probably she has a low level of education.
And maybe she even has alcoholic and promiscuous tendencies.
You should take a good look at her mother to see what your fully-blossomed Kasia will be like a few years from now.

This girl will probably do things like she did in order to get you to react emotionally.
But if you react, you are really under her control and you are being manipulated and dominated.

And if you do something to dominate and manipulate her you are in the wrong also.

It is not your job to control her and to dominate her.
It is her job to dominate herself and control herself with her own self-control.

For proper order, she should submit herself to you (the man) by her own choice.
You should tell her what you like and want, and she should give it to you, peacefully, and without much trouble.

As far as what to do with this girl, I would leave her.
She sounds like real bad-blooded "White Trash"
I would leave her sooner than later.

Be careful because she probably wants drama and is addicted to it.
She might very well try to get you to hit her so that she can go to the police or have someone try to beat you up.

She will do this in order to give drama to her meaningless, pathetic life.

Whatever you do, don't accidentally spin around and hit her with an elbow or a back fist to the face.

She could claim that you did this on purpose.

Hope this helps.

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