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Abuse in relationships (my first Polish girlfriend)


Lucy - | 23  
11 Aug 2009 /  #61
I used to be in a relationship with a violent boyfirend. I don't want to go into detail about what used to happen but eventually I flipped and gave him the biggest fright of his life. Unfortunately, there are men and women who do not get to that stage and do not find the anger and confidence to defend themselves. If it's a regular occurrence there's obviously something seriously wrong with the relationship and it's time to move on.
ZIMMY 6 | 1,601  
11 Aug 2009 /  #62
As I have wrote before. I see that mad political correctness reached to courts but this is separate problem.

All "PC" is connected. It is vested in government overview.

When a men is abused by women this is because he does allow her to behave like that.

There is no 'allowing' anything; women do what they want to do. You write as if women were chattel or children.

I've seen a woman walk up to her ex boyfriend in a bar and smack him in the face. I suggest he didn't "allow her to behave like that"; she did it because she was a typical jaded female who was accustomed to getting her way and of course using the excuse of being female to get away with it.

this is confrontation rhetoric, you are obsessed by this issue. Instead to calm down the emotions you go the opposite way and this is your mistake.

Making a point about something is not being obsessed with it. How else does one discuss a particular topic? As to your comment on "emotion" I had to laugh as I'm the one who is always suggesting that too many people make decisions based on emotion instead of logic.

You are confusing strong opinion with 'feelings'. I'm probably the most linear thinking person you'll find. Indeed I posit my opinions not from one vantage point but from an overview as I did with the Feibert studies. (which include both men and women and domestic violence).

csulb.edu/~mfiebert/assault.htm

Those 254 scholarly investigations: 199 empirical studies and 55 reviews are objective and not emotional. Who could logically argue with that?

this is bad American custom to say "liberalism" instead of "leftism". The first is freedom minded ideology, while the second preach for the oppression of the state.

Todays "liberalism" is unfortunately leftism. It is not the classical "liberalism" of yesteryear.

Im a woman, Im always right.

That comment used to be funny (years ago). Today, it isn't. The best way to understand something is to reverse the situation (in this instance the genders) and see if it's still funny. Of course such logical transposition is too much 'real equality' for the majorty of women.

It is not your job to control her and to dominate her.
It is her job to dominate herself and control herself with her own self-control.

Ah, therein lies a real challenge for women who are accustomed to western societies which indulge them in law and various protective customs.
johncardwell 3 | 110  
11 Aug 2009 /  #63
ZIMMY: Ah, therein lies a real challenge for women who are accustomed to western societies which indulge them in law and various protective customs.

You are correct.
Probably impossible to accomplish in a Western Society.
What lots of guys from the USA do these days who are serious about having a normal wife and family without the interference of Social Pollution and the corrupt US Family Courts is Emigrate. They still hold onto their citizenship but they live outside the USA and gradually build credits to another nationality.

You can get Brazilian Citizenship in one year if you marry a local girl.
I don't know how good Brazilian Girls are but they cannot be worse than American.

People on these forums don't realize just how corrupt the US Court Systems are and how actively hostile they are towards men.

And how the American Society actively makes vilifies men any chance it gets and unfairly so.

Really, it is sick and anti-Christian, anti-Jewish, and anti-Muslim what goes on in that country (USA) at the family level.

And in my opinion things are at such a low level there is no solution.

It is like a cancer that needs to run its course.

But in the meantime it is a miserable life for a man in the USA.

Better to leave and never look back.
lesser 4 | 1,311  
12 Aug 2009 /  #64
There is no 'allowing' anything; women do what they want to do. You write as if women were chattel or children.

No, people in general do mostly what they can and not what they want. While a woman can hardly abuse a men unless he is passive. I want to show you what is the problem but I cannot do it if you wont open your eyes.

Abused by women, metrosexual, uber-pacifist, fanatical ecologist, champion of wrongly understood tolerance this is more and more modern men of western civilization, educated in public school. Polish composer and conservative liberal Stefan Kisielewski said once that socialism create problems unknown in other systems.

How on earth Muslims could not overrun Europe if local men have written "a loser" on their face!
PolishCrush - | 6  
13 Aug 2009 /  #65
I get really tired when I read about this cr@p.

You are men, if a woman starts to hit you, make her stop. Just grab her arms and say it's game over.

Some people have severe problems with their behavior. It's best to just stay away from them.

haha...I like your response. I don't necessarily agree but I still like the response. I mean, to the guy who started the tread, you are a guy. There isn't much you can do, you can't hit her. (don't cross that line). But you should be able to either walk away or like SzwedwPolsce was trying to say - get a grip man.

I don't think this is a Polish thing though because all the people I have been meeting are great and my Polish friend, she's really cool too. This seems like something in your relationship - maybe this is what gets her riled up.
OP Lefty 13 | 124  
13 Aug 2009 /  #66
haha...I like your response. I don't necessarily agree but I still like the response. I mean, to the guy who started the tread, you are a guy. There isn't much you can do, you can't hit her. (don't cross that line). But you should be able to either walk away or like SzwedwPolsce was trying to say - get a grip man.

What do you think I did....? of course I held her arms down and stopped her from hitting me, do you think I'm an idiot? lol Yeah I just stood there and let her sit me presenting each side once I was fully beaten on the other.

<zalamka>

I don't think this is a Polish thing though because all the people I have been meeting are great and my Polish friend, she's really cool too. This seems like something in your relationship - maybe this is what gets her riled up.

Sounds like you have a lot of experience with Polish women... like you know one girl... when you get a badge let me know.
johncardwell 3 | 110  
13 Aug 2009 /  #67
Lefty: What do you think I did....? of course I held her arms down and stopped her from hitting me, do you think I'm an idiot? lol Yeah I just stood there and let her sit me presenting each side once I was fully beaten on the other.

You should not have even had to do this.
Already things have gone to far.
You are playing in a bad game (drama) with her.

I can tell just by your writing and by the fact that you came to this board to seek advice you are fairly reasonable.

1) Leave her forever.
or
2) Threaten to leave her if she does not control herself and follow through if she does something again (but I think she will laugh at this).

or
3) Leave her temporarily until/if she learns to control herself.

If she does not change, life with her will be miserable.

This is real "white trash" drama.

It is difficult to rise in life with a woman like this in your life.

I think this is an exceptional case for Polish Girls and not the rule (I hope).
OP Lefty 13 | 124  
13 Aug 2009 /  #68
johncardwell

You offer a lot of advise and I appreciate that, however, I did not come here for your advice.

Read my first post clearly and you will see I was asking if this was generally accepted behavior in Poland not what I need to do to sort out my love life.

I'm a big boy, I'll manage.
Wroclaw Boy  
13 Aug 2009 /  #69
I think this is a crazy attitude and I wonder (since that was my first Polish girlfriend) is that the norm culturally?

Its normal where i come from, most of my girlfriends have hit me at one point or another some more often than others. The Polish one particularly likes to wack me every now and again. Just put up the block or move out of the way.
OP Lefty 13 | 124  
13 Aug 2009 /  #70
....or just get that gun out! :)
johncardwell 3 | 110  
13 Aug 2009 /  #71
johncardwell: I think this is an exceptional case for Polish Girls and not the rule (I hope).

I add, I have not heard of any other cases like this.
My experiences were mostly bad, but not violent and they were outside Poland.

Lefty: I'm a big boy, I'll manage.

I agree. You are a big boy. Good luck. You are going to need it.
ZIMMY 6 | 1,601  
13 Aug 2009 /  #72
While a woman can hardly abuse a men unless he is passive.

There are many ways women abuse men without the men being able to do anything about it, or at least not without lots of expense and sorrow. For instance:

cnn.com/2009/CRIME/08/11/georgia.child.support/index.html?eref=rss_latest

The above link shows that a man can be held liable for child support and can be thrown into prison (in this instance for one year) even though the child is NOT his. Of course the woman is not held liable for child fraud.

I'm a big boy, I'll manage.

See above link. As Orwell said, "all animals are created equal" (men and women) "but some animals are more equal than others" (in current western custom and law, women are "more equal").
johncardwell 3 | 110  
13 Aug 2009 /  #73
ZIMMY:

You have courage.
I really appreciate that someone speaks about the stuff that you are speaking out about.
Most people in Europe have no clue about the stuff you are talking about.

But I think it might be a little off-topic for this post.
For me, no problem, but for other people maybe a problem.

If you are in the US have you though of emigrating?

Many normal guys do it and they are much happier.

After all, a guy would have to be a little gay or masochistic to be happy with American Women.

So a normal hetero-sexual American Man does not have much of a future with American Girls.

And there are so many better girls in other parts of the world.

Once again thanks for your postings.

For me they are thoughtful and intelligent.
ZIMMY 6 | 1,601  
13 Aug 2009 /  #74
You have courage.

I'm just telling the objective truth; of course it is one that many women (and men) don't want to hear. There is a pretense about all this anti-male stuff.

So a normal hetero-sexual American Man does not have much of a future with American Girls.

I've noticed that many more men are marrying foreign women. Of course that doesn't guarantee domestic success either but it does up the odds.

Speaking of foreign women, here is a link that is instructive for 'some' women.
ananova.com/news/story/sm_3434479.html

Sound familiar guys?
aphrodisiac 11 | 2,444  
13 Aug 2009 /  #75
Sound familiar guys?

why don't you switch to men, after all you don't seem to be getting along with women;)
johncardwell 3 | 110  
13 Aug 2009 /  #76
ZIMMY I've noticed that many more men are marrying foreign women. Of course that doesn't guarantee domestic success either but it does up the odds.

Yes, American Guys are definitely looking outside the borders.
But you cannot bring a nice girl back to the US or she will probably change.

So lots of guys simply emigrate.
Then find a girl and stay.
I think it is a good strategy.
For family life, the US is bleak and has a bleak future.

And for this poor guy who posted this thread, I think he just got a bad apple.
But his post concerns me.
Because things are really changing in Poland.
I can see it.
aphrodisiac 11 | 2,444  
13 Aug 2009 /  #77
I can see it.

what are you? a fortune teller?
johncardwell 3 | 110  
13 Aug 2009 /  #78
What a stupid post.

But understandable.

You didn't say anything intelligent because you don't have anything intelligent to say.
ZIMMY 6 | 1,601  
13 Aug 2009 /  #79
why don't you switch to men,

Perhaps you should go to this thread: Gay Poles of Chicago

you don't seem to be getting along with women;)

You'd be surprised how well I get along with (real) women; you know, the ones who don't nag, don't use sex to get their way (although at some level all women do), and who appreciate a man who doesn't take bullcrap from them. Try it.
aphrodisiac 11 | 2,444  
13 Aug 2009 /  #80
Perhaps you should go to this thread: Gay Poles of Chicago

why, I get along with women, thank you very much;)

You'd be surprised how well I get along with (real) women; you know, the ones who don't nag, don't use sex to get their way (although at some level all women do), and who appreciate a man who doesn't take bullcrap from them. Try it.

sure, no problem men, I will implement your advice.
SzwedwPolsce 11 | 1,595  
13 Aug 2009 /  #81
Because things are really changing in Poland.

Yes, for sure they are.
OP Lefty 13 | 124  
14 Aug 2009 /  #82
But his post concerns me.

Why?

I agree. You are a big boy. Good luck. You are going to need it.

Thanks, however how is luck involved?`
ZIMMY 6 | 1,601  
14 Aug 2009 /  #83
Well, it happened, I was (mentally) abused yesterday. Here is what happened. I was sitting in an upscale restaurant/bar in Streatorville waiting for a friend of mine to show up.

I was sipping my Merlot and minding my own business when a 30-something woman sat next to me and began to flop her bosom in my direction. As she sat on her stool I noticed that she kept pivoting my way while her dress kept hiking up her thighs. I pretended not to notice but she started the conversation by asking me if the restaurant served good food.

I told her that it was a very good restaurant but looking at her attempt at provocative moves I was quickly losing my appetite. Yes, I can and often am that direct. She flipped, created a scene by shouting and walked out without paying for her half-finished drink.

The female bartender (whom I knew as I'm a regular there) just raised her eyes, shook her head and said, "it takes all kinds". She bought me the next drink, my buddy showed up and I had a terrific Porterhouse steak dinner.
Wroclaw Boy  
14 Aug 2009 /  #84
and then you woke up.
OP Lefty 13 | 124  
14 Aug 2009 /  #85
LOL.
ShelleyS 14 | 2,893  
14 Aug 2009 /  #86
I was sitting in an upscale restaurant/bar in Streatorville waiting for a friend of mine to show up.

Read: McDonalds.

I was sipping my Mer

Read: Cola light.

30-something woman sat next to me and began to flop her bosom in my direction.

Read: Totally ignored me whilst I was staring at her t*ts.

As she sat on her stool I noticed that she kept pivoting my way while her dress kept hiking up her thighs.

Read: Kept pulling her skirt over her knees because I was staring at her in an unhealthy lusty manner.

I pretended not to notice

Read: I was drooling at the mouth.

she started the conversation by asking me if the restaurant served good food.

Read: She was totally ignoring me, but I continued to pester her.

I told her that it was a very good restaurant

See above.

but looking at her attempt at provocative moves I was quickly losing my appetite.

Read: I wasnt getting anywhere so I left my half finished fries and burger and left.

She flipped, created a scene by shouting and walked out without paying for her half-finished drink.

Read: She called me a damn pervert and threatened to call the manager so I left in a hurry (leaving said burger and fries)

The female bartender (whom I knew as I'm a regular there) just raised her eyes, shook her head and said, "it takes all kinds"

Read: She thinks you're a bit of a letch.

She bought me the next drink, my buddy showed up and I had a terrific Porterhouse steak dinner.

Thought you'd lost your appitite?
ZIMMY 6 | 1,601  
14 Aug 2009 /  #87
Wroclaw Boy, Gold Member

lol, they should give you a Platinum Membership

ShelleyS Edited by: ShelleyS Today, 20:12

Not bad, you'd make a decent fiction writer.

Actually I threw in the "mental abuse" aspect to tweek some of the women and manginas here. I just found it rude and uncivilized that this woman would assume my interest and all she had to do was to be sexual.

Of course lots of women in various degrees dress and some 'act' in this brazen manner because that's pretty much all they know. By the way, the restaurant/bar is the "Capital Grille", a place I recommend to those who have certain culinary appreciations.

Shelley, "Thought you'd lost your appitite?"

In rereading you'll note that I stated that I was quickly losing my appetite, not that I'd lost it. Of course the Porterhouse at the "Capital" is the best anywhere and even well fed women like you would be hungry upon casting your senses on it.
johncardwell 3 | 110  
15 Aug 2009 /  #88
When I told a Polish Girl here in Prague that I had no interest in going back to the US she got a little offended.

She liked Disney and all these other ******** icons.

I think some Polish Girls might have some weird, fairy-tale fascination with the USA.

Or maybe the bad ones just want the divorce money:)

Maybe Poland should make the wedding ticket one-way.

That is, once you leave with your new American Husband, you can't come back.

What do you think?
PlasticPole 7 | 2,649  
15 Aug 2009 /  #89
What do you think?

I think you should never come back :D
jane73 - | 3  
15 Aug 2009 /  #90
i`am shocked that polish women might be agressive. iam polish myself and never hit anyone and iam 35. it`s not a common that polish woman is abusive, must say very rare. i believe we should treat the people as we wish to be theated by others. i alwas respect ppl and expecting be respected. if someone being abusive to us, we should get rid of that person coz noone deserve to be treated that way. as well iam fed up hearing that polish women are gold diggers. thats not a true. i never look for any profit or benefit get from any man. been married and let go my ex husband with all our savings, coz was not the point to fight about it, there were just money, i was the winner coz got rid of toxic relationship. but as i said previously, we should get rid of ppl as soon we realize they are abusing us somehow.

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