They are saying no you need to be in the country and get the residence agreement first
This doesn't add up with:
we will be moving under my wife's name, she is a polish citizen
Your wife is a citizen and it seems strange that they'd ask you, a citizen of an EU country for one.
I think they are just parroting everything that's possible to be submitted
I think so too.
I'd use another company. Have you looked at any of the expat pages on Facebook? There's often people asking about and recommending people for moving stuff to and from Poland.