The BEST Guide to POLAND
Unanswered [9]  |  Archives [1] 
 
User: Guest

Love  100% width65 postspage 1 of 3

Just started dating Polish guy - what is typical of a man from Poland? Cultural differences.


polskilova    
15 Jun 2014  #1
Hi there! I've just started dating a Polish guy who has been in the country 12 months. His English is good but he has trouble understanding on the phone so we mostly text or email. I've never really dated because I've had lots of relationships but I can sense some cultural differences and I just wanted some advice to make sure I'm reading him right and not misunderstanding because of our cultural differences.

We've been dating 6 weeks and we are intimate. I'm not sure now if that was good but I wanted too and so did he.

He says he really likes me. I like him.
He says I remind him of his mum, which I didn't know how to take but just said, you remind me of my cousin.

He makes dates well in advance.
He always pays and is very sweet, affectionate and kind, thoughtful and gentle.
I was thinking this was a hook up but when I asked him, he didn't even know what it was, and had to Google it. Which it was like oh no we are definitively at dating stage.

What is typical in Polish culture when a Polish man says this? He told me that he isn't busy with other dates but I thought when you date you see other people?

I don't want to hurt his feelings because I've misunderstood, but also don't want to invest emotionally if this is just a hook up.

The last time we were together he asked me would I like to live in oslo with him but I don't know if this is just player talk.

I've never known a Pole before and can't work out if he's saying things to say them or he means what he says. What is typical of a Polish man? He's early 30's well educated.
Wulkan - | 3,280    
15 Jun 2014  #2
What is typical of a Polish man?

There is no typical of Polish man, we are all different. Don't look at him through his nationality, he is European just like you.
OP polskilova    
16 Jun 2014  #3
I'm not European though lol I'm Australian. We don't really date in our culture. Once you hook up you're sort of together, so it's different to understand what to expect.

He said we are definitively dating. So what does that mean? :-)
Wulkan - | 3,280    
16 Jun 2014  #4
I'm not European though lol I'm Australian

Since you haven't mentioned where you was from I had to only speculate.
beckski 12 | 1,619    
16 Jun 2014  #5
Every Polish man I've dated has his own individual personality. Same as dating a man with other ethnic background.
JLesh - | 9    
16 Jun 2014  #6
My husband is Polish, and I am Canadian, though we live in USA right now.

We have been married around a year. What I have noticed:

a) Excellent manners. My husband always opens every door, pulls out my chair, is very polite to me and all my friends. He tells me that it's cultural, that they are brought up in a matriarchal society and taught to treat women with respect. He never speaks to me harshly, and I'm trying to learn Polish and he won't even teach me to swear. The negative can be that they can be very disapproving if you speak in a vulgar way as a woman.

b) Willingness to help out around the house. I never have to ask, and he will often shoo me away if he is sweeping etc and I ask to help. He also helps with cooking.

c) They're very dedicated, you always know where you stand. There's no blurriness in where the relationship is. No no, if you're dating he isn't seeing anyone else.

d) He's very gently protective, not in overbearing way.
e) They really appreciate the small gestures. I made him a traditional Easter basket this year and muddled through writing him a sweet card in Polish, and he told his whole family about it.

Feel free to ask me any questions!
OP polskilova    
16 Jun 2014  #7
Thank you so much for the help. I wasn't sure if dating was the same aka dating normally means you keep seeing other people. I also wasn't sure about this because we are intimate. I also didn't want to broach the subject because of it being a new relationship and appear needy. I'm definitely independent and happy with the way things are but also didn't want to send wrong messages because I misunderstood something unwritten between my understanding of dating and his.

Yes he is very protective, always making sure I have my coat, or my car windscreen is clear for driving. It's lovely.

We became intimate quite quickly because their was alot of chemistry, should I be concerned about this? We only had four dates?

He talks often of his family and plans, but his contact has become less frequent. He knows I'm busy with work as is he, but I don't mind it however I think, should I be concerned? He always says "I know you're busy"

So part of me thinks he is trying to be considerate or he's just a man and texting gets annoying. I find it does. When we are together, we have a great time.

If we are continuing to see each other regularly, should I expect that we are moving forward into sort of relationship?

I just trying to assess what he's saying, he asked me last time what I thought about him getting residency. I didn't know what to say. I thought he was here on contract.

I'm just scared to let myself develop feelings and get hurt.
JLesh - | 9    
16 Jun 2014  #8
My husband and I were intimate after 3 days, so don't be concerned. Really, I would be honest with him. In my situation there was no game playing. I would go with the flow, if you keep seeing eachother regularly to expect a relationship. After 4 days my husband just referred to me as his girlfriend in casual conversation, and that was that. We were together 6 months before we were married, and have now been married 7 months. I am not saying to expect that, just showing it as an example of how BS free the relationship was/is.

Just keep the lines of communication open and enjoy each other.
OP polskilova    
16 Jun 2014  #9
He always talks about sex with me. I don't find men of my culture to be so forward like this. Is that normal if Polski men?

He sends messages to say "im thinking of you (in naughty way) xoxo"

Prior he would send messages of his cat or his home in Poland.

I say to him we always talk about sex, to which he replied, it's a good thing.

Yet when we are together, he always talking about his family, his plans, his work. We discuss many things not sex.

It's not something I'm used too, this overt sexualism. I don't know to be offended or just take it as he is just being a man although I don't recall this from other guys. it doesn't bother me but I think, am I a piece of ass? It's a real contradiction because his behavior when we are together is not how you treat a hook up.... he didn't even know what that was.
JLesh - | 9    
16 Jun 2014  #10
I think that's an individual thing. My husband will sometimes, but it's always in a tasteful manner. Don't overthink it, sounds like you've definitely got his attention, and if it's not the only topic when you are together, then I wouldn't stress it.
OP polskilova    
16 Jun 2014  #11
Aargh, I wish I didn't like him, this would be so less complicated ;-)

Thank you for your patience and responses, it's been insightful and helpful

Any further tips? We're seeing each other again
JLesh - | 9    
16 Jun 2014  #12
Don't wish you didn't like him, I'm sure he's great and worthy of your affections! Honestly, I would do something like cook him dinner, maybe something traditional, which is very easy! There's lot of resources online, and I'm sure he'd really appreciate it. My husband and I are currently apart for about 2 months (he's back in Poland for a visit) so I understand not seeing each other often and wanting to make it count. But I really think the dinner idea is a winner.
Englishman 2 | 275    
16 Jun 2014  #13
It's not something I'm used too, this overt sexualism.

You're Australian, and you're not used to it? Where have you been living in Australia - a convent?

I'm joking, of course, but IMO Poles are likely to be a lot less overtly sexual in their flirting than Aussies.
OP polskilova    
16 Jun 2014  #14
We do it differently or something, like tongue in check. This is really like woah, lol I don't know it's intense.
chandlpj    
15 Sep 2014  #15
Hi, I'm the opposite (English man dating and hope to marry a Polish lady), and I need help. She lives in Cheltenham and me in Leicester. We've been together for 15 months and see each other every long weekend. We have agreed to live together in her house and I will sell mine, BUT although she has agreed, she is not sure when it will be, and is waiting for me to say something to change her mind. She says if I said the words I could move in next week. I've been down the road of asking to live with her as it is her house, and that we will share everything etc etc, and she said I am nearly there, but there is just these few words missing which seem to mean so much. Can you help? (Sorry for such a long explanation). Paul
Honest    
15 Sep 2014  #16
It seems you may be okay staying with this guy especially if you have in mind a long-term relationship, probably a lifetime-long, having a family. Polish people seem still strongly family-orientated. On the whole, that is, because there always are exceptions. See how it goes.

She says if I said the words I could move in next week.

Would the words be: "I love you. Will you marry me?" :)
chandlpj    
15 Sep 2014  #17
Thanks for the reply, but already done that bit. I'm not sure if it's a Polish thing or just something she wants to hear. I did think it's maybe that when we start living together we will turn her house into our home!? Anyone any thoughts?
Honest    
15 Sep 2014  #18
Thanks for the reply, but already done that bit. I'm not sure if it's a Polish thing or just something she wants to hear. I did think it's maybe that when we

Me again. I had long back a similar experience with one girlfriend of mine. Polish too. She also expected I'd say some words. She said hearing them from me would really turn her on. Didn't want to tell what the words were, of course. "You should know yourself." I was crazily in love and boy how I cudgeled my brains to guess. At last I did. I won't tell what the words were ( I don't think they are those your love expects from you) but they were - how shall I put it? - rather trivial. Yet they really worked. I don't know if this is of any assistance and now I'm shutting up wishing you good luck.
OP polskilova    
28 Oct 2014  #19
I just wanted to update this thread, because I think I have the benefit of hindsight. So, we had been dating for 2 months - low and behold, I get a text message, and he started to date someone else, because I didn't have enough time to give him. Turns out he was a complete player, he still is dating and cheating on all his girlfriends. Guys are guys no matter where they come from.

He still texts to see me and we still see each other from time to time as friends. I often wonder, if this is because I wasn't forward enough to discuss my feelings with him he was too shy to really talk about his feelings, he would often hint about things, but I wasn't able to really pick up on things (saying things like what do I think of him getting his residency, what do I think of moving to another country with him).

It's a shame, because, I think we had a real "thing". ..

Hint for life - be bold, don't miss an opportunity to tell someone how you really feel, regardless of their nationality!
Rena1    
5 Jun 2015  #20
I just started talking to a Polski and i'm alitle (alot) like you when you first started the thread.. its such a pity for how things turned out for you.. Hugs and hopefully you're on your love journey as well :))
Wulkan - | 3,280    
5 Jun 2015  #21
I just started talking to a Polski

Tell us some more of your story, maybe it started similar to my story, I'm Polski man in this case.
befranklin 1 | 41    
6 Jun 2015  #22
polskilova

Wow I'd like to know how you are doing. I hope that you find someone who truly loves you......it appears that you are one of the special ones. The guy missed it, missed you a wonderful loving woman who could've been his. He will look back at the time your spent and wish for a second chance. Women like you are not easy to come by and men who aren't players appreciate them.
ConfusedMe - | 1    
7 Sep 2015  #23
I'm going through something similar. I met a guy when I was studying in Asia. He happened to be from Poland and we went on a date once. Later, we just kept texting for about a month until I came back home. We still talk so I told him I was going back to Asia (where he's working by the way), to meet a few friends. He got so excited and asked that I stay with him and even find a job just there. I told him it wouldn't be possible for me to work there, so we agreed that when he goes to Poland in December, I could go visit and he would show me around. He asked that I live with him and his family when i'm there. I'm really confused because we've only met once so I don't know where we stand, but I do like him. I just want to be sure what's going on here. He asks for pictures of me everyday, (not naked pictures just my face or my complete outfit) and he compliments me each time. I don't want to be too forward and find he just takes me as a friend. Did I mention that I like him?
terri 1 | 1,435    
7 Sep 2015  #24
I think he is just being polite inviting you to stay with his family. On the other hand, many people say that, knowing full well, that you will never come to visit. I would not tell him anything re your feelings, as if (and when) you do, and he does not feel the same way about you, you will look foolish.
Atch 16 | 2,587    
7 Sep 2015  #25
I'm really confused because we've only met once so I don't know where we stand, but I do like him.

If you want to go to Poland for a holiday, do so by all means. I wouldn't stay with his family if I were you. December is a busy month with all the preparations for Christmas, most of the family won't speak any English, your sleeping arrangements won't be the most comfortable (sofa bed in living room if you're lucky), you will have no privacy among complete strangers and it might be a bit overwhelming and stressful for you. Depending on where in Poland he lives, it should be possible for you to get reasonably priced accommodation; there are lots of nice, clean hostels and budget hotels. If he's asking for pics then he clearly likes you but I would agree with Terri that he's probably just being hospitable by inviting you to stay. I don't think he's expecting to start a relationship with you, but he's a young guy so if you thinks you like him he'll be up for whatever you're offering - so don't offer anything, that's my advice as a 'mature' woman with a bit of life experience behind her!
ryouga 4 | 59    
8 Sep 2015  #26
Where are you from? I knew a Polish guy where I used to live that was divorced (ex wife still in Poland with his young son) he used to have multiple sex partners a day even when he settled with a Scottish woman and even had a child with her but shortly after the childs birth she found out he was having sex with multiple women a day so left him.
Wulkan - | 3,280    
8 Sep 2015  #27
Where are you from? I knew a Polish guy

Yes, it must be the same Polish guy she is talking about, after all there is only a few of them in the UK!
salpolkski    
26 Nov 2015  #28
Hi. I've had a Polish guy asking me out for the past 3 months. Got to know him through chatting by text etc. Seems a great guy so thinking of taking the plunge. He really as wooed me😊. My concern is not his nationality but the 10 year age difference. He's 30 and I'm 40. He's been here 4 years and is already planning how our future would work, I.e moving to be closer, jobs and how my 3 children will feel about it.
Levi 13 | 451    
26 Nov 2015  #29
It is a very wise decision that you are dating a polish guy.

He is probably much better than anyone else you wound find in London.

Besides that, if you have babies with him, they will have a good genetics.

PS: I am not polish.
slav intrigue    
30 Nov 2015  #30
Interesting thread. Previously I would never have considered someones nationality alongside thier characteristics. Learned manerisims perhaps.
However, recently I entered a relationship with a Polish man. My last relationship was with a Slovak. A few people have commented on my attraction to slavic men, my serbian friend in a negative way, she suggested i should avoid them but didnt elaborate. Although them both being slavs would not have given me reason to compare them, they actually have a few of the same traits I am struggling to understand...

Both men clearly liked me, although this was obvious only through actions and not words. Neither seem good at expressing attraction and neither paid me any compliments. My current Polish boyfriend wants to see me all the time and we communicate every day, yet he has never so much as said he likes me, i look good etc...

Both moved quite quickly at the beggining, bringing me to thier families, inviting me to go on holidays with them etc but any mention of a 'future' seems to scare them! I never broached the subjects of 'future' i.e living together, marraige, kids with either of them but our friends have and thier reactions say it all.

My slovak ex finished our relationship due to commitment issues. My current polish boyfriend has never had a long term relationship. I am wary it will end the same way and I will have wasted time. I am interested in any opinions concerning these issues and slavic men.

thank you.



Home / Love / Just started dating Polish guy - what is typical of a man from Poland? Cultural differences.
Bold Italic [quote]

 
To post as Guest, enter a temporary and unique username or login and post as a member.