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Are Polish men cold? What do they like?


triedandtested
26 Apr 2015  #1
Finding it hard after 2 1/2 years to understand the lack of initiation for being affectionate and lacking desire. Only spend 2 nights per week together. Always tired and lack knowledge of how to make a woman happy in bed. Is this the way of polish men ? Not use to being made to feel unattractive. Seems almost impossible to teach him how to be and doesnt care about how i feel. Far from being unattractive myself and dont understand. Is it culture ? He is religious. I may as well get into a bed with no one rather than in one that he ignores me. Would like to hear genuinely from polish men. Do you treat your woman this way ??
terri 1 | 1,620
26 Apr 2015  #2
One very important question.
What on earth are you doing with this man?
OP triedandtested
26 Apr 2015  #3
I am asking myself the same question. He knows how i feel about the situation. every weekend we are together he never makes me feel alive and wanted. Friendship wise.. yeah thats ok although i cant talk to him about everything as he is far too critical. But the loving side of the relationship has not even left the ground. I have told him what i want... all the time. But i may have well told it to a wall. He wants me around..i am helpful to his needs but mine are ignored. Feeling totally ugly and lonely.
matra
26 Apr 2015  #4
Many Polish men are like this... at least almost every man in my family... if he acts like this now, imagine what would be in 10 years... my Italian friend had a Polish boyfriend and she complained about this too. Typical Polish man will confess you love after a very long time and he will not repeat this word again, thinking that it's unnecessary... you feel unattractive now? Imagine my mother after 25 years with a Polish man...
Pawlot - | 2
26 Apr 2015  #5
Women often say to the men - I've heard that story 100 times... It is very frustrating!
Somehow, in the matter of "feelings" they like to hear it again, again...
Bieganski 17 | 901
26 Apr 2015  #6
It's the weekend! And so right on cue is another agony aunt question thread started by a "guest" poster alleging (yet again) Polish male inadequacy (a key feminist shaming tactic). I'm only surprised that race wasn't mentioned this time around but do note that the religion card was played.

Anyway, the "guest" poster fails to understand that Polish men are not cold but rather very wise about women; especially those from countries west of the Odra.

Polish men rank in the category of alpha males and this is what attracts the "guest" poster and many others like her in the first place.

Since the "guest" poster is not a Polish woman she is incapable of instinctively and ever knowing how to properly treat and respect the Polish man in her life and hence make their relationship mutually supportive, healthy and satisfying.

As indicated earlier, the "guest" poster is clearly a student of feminism and also suffers from a diva complex. And this is the basis as to why this question and many others before it struggle to find answers as to why Polish men are completely opposite from the multitude of native cuckold beta male providers the "guest" poster is accustomed to having at her disposal in places like Germany, Britain, Canada, and the States.

The "guest" poster's Polish partner is naturally committed to their relationship and is patiently waiting for her to get with the program and do her part to make it work. She needs to go apologize to her Polish partner and thank him for putting up with her for as long as he has.
terri 1 | 1,620
26 Apr 2015  #7
Yeah, right. !!
It is of course her own fault for wanting something more out of the 'relationship'. She should know her place and not have any ideas 'above her station'.
jon357 63 | 14,122
26 Apr 2015  #8
Yeah, right. !!

Agreed. The lady is obviously very unhappy. Hard to say if it's a specifically Poland issue - he might behave like that for a lot of reasons. I'd suggest from experience that if the problem seems insurmountable or keeps re-occurring all you can do is move on for your own sake. Imagine the situation a decade or so down the line...

The OP has various options. 'Changing him' is never going to be one of them.

Polish men rank in the category of alpha males

That doesn't make any sense. Don't assume that everyone from Poland is like your second or third hand adolescent vision of them.

Since the "guest" poster is not a Polish woman she is incapable of instinctively and ever knowing how to properly treat and respect the Polish man in her life and hence make their relationship mutually supportive, healthy and satisfying.

Bieganski, you're 15 years old. That piece of 'relationship advice' evidently reflects that.

many others before it struggle to find answers as to why Polish men are completely opposite from the multitude of native cuckold beta male providers

How on earth would you know about such things, being under-age and never having been to Poland or having any direct connection to the way people think or behave there?

Please don't make personal comments (true or false) about other members in the public forum threads
OP triedandtested
26 Apr 2015  #9
How a question can create so much animosity between unknown people baffles me. Its a question i am genuinely asking while trying to establish if its culture (then i need to be more patient) or blatant ignorance on his part. I believe in chances and this was one way of asking native people for their experience. I am not feminist.... just a woman in a relationship with feelings. Some courtesy regarding this matter seems above the mentality of some. Shame really. But thanks to those that made an effort with reason attached to my post. Much appreciated. I am far from being a young girl without a mind of my own and mentioned religion for acknowledging his background. For which i am proud of. I have faith too but maybe his holds him back as i have been told faith gets in the way of true emotion. Thanks anyway.

A decent conversation is far valuable than some comments on here. Secondly i am a member but forgit my password..idea of forums is to be anon in the world and have input from others. Like minded preferably !
Bieganski 17 | 901
26 Apr 2015  #10
It is of course her own fault for wanting something more out of the 'relationship'.

Which is it? That you don't believe in equality between the sexes or that you do but only as long as women are put first and never take responsibility for anything?

The "guest" poster said she has been in a relationship for two and half years. Now according to you the "guest" poster is entitled to "wanting something more". LOL!

Of course, of course. She wants more but fails to say how she herself will give more towards the relationship.

This "guest" poster should have looked long and hard in the mirror before starting this thread.

Don't assume that everyone from Poland is like your second or third hand adolescent vision of them.

Bieganski, you're 15 years old. That piece of 'relationship advice' evidently reflects that.

How on earth would you know about such things, being under-age and never having been to Poland or having any direct connection to the way people think or behave there?

I can't help but think that all of these recurring agony aunt pieces written under the guise of a "guest" actually come from the same bored, socially marginalized, seasonal tourist. You know, the same one who has a wildly inflated opinion about himself and brags all the time on PF about having an exaggeratedly close relationship with Poles across the entire social spectrum but never any proof to back it up.

Odd too that all of the carpetbaggers self-identify as male but these drive-by attack posts critical of Polish men always come from "guests" identifying as "females" who in turn consistently focus on supposedly women's issues.

The topics are the same and the writing style is the same.

edited..
jon357 63 | 14,122
26 Apr 2015  #11
Well, young person, your post is amusing and certainly moderately imaginative however nobody here remotely fits any of those descriptions you try to use. It's worth mentioning that the OP has asked for genuine advice from someone who might appreciate and understand grown-up relationships. This is obviously an issue that is giving her plenty of pain.

The answer is this. That although there are national or regional patterns of behavior based on sociocultural norms, the issues she has with her unfulfilling partner are more likely to be something specific to him at least as much as the place he comes from. Perhaps he takes her for granted, perhaps he's too emotionally dense or immature to have a relationship of the intensity she seeks, perhaps the bedroom part is unfulfilling for her because he's just not very good at it, or has a low sex drive or perhaps her expectations of him are unreal maybe based on a better previous partner. Perhaps he's just some potato.

Whatever the case, it isn't going to suddenly improve - it never does and no matter how much she tries to work on it, the only work that can ever be a success is to adjust her expectations.

I'm lucky, having found my soulmate long ago. Never a cross word between us, ever and every day as good as the day we met. But both partners have to be mature and both have to be realistic about what they can achieve and how to achieve them. And there has to be absolute loyalty and unspoken understanding. The OP doesn't have that and if she's miserable enough to post about it on the internet, it's probably time to cut him loose, get over him and then find someone more suitable for her.

The main question she asks is whether Polish men are cold. Some are and some aren't, however many can be curiously unemotional, are tied to the apron strings, lose interest in relationships with others and have difficulties relating to others, especially women. Plus a habit of sulking sometimes and often problems expressing themselves. That's an extreme example and most are not. Some are even wonderful partners.

In her partner's case this may or may not be true however unless she herself has led a very sheltered life, she must have something to compare to. The ultimate test is whether he makes her happy and whether she really looks forward to being with him in the evening after work. If she dreads it, in ambivalent or worries about how he'll be towards her, then the relationship is dead.
OP triedandtested
26 Apr 2015  #12
Thank you. Its because of past experiences i know what i want. My expectations are few and far between. Its his expectations of taking everything from me but not wanting the part of a relationship it appears that includes being lovers. And yes i think you are right.. i need to cut free and hopefully have time to heal before someone finds me that truly wants to be with me for who i am too. You are lucky Jonto have found your ideal. I have always expressed and opened up maturely but seems i didnt find my match. Kind regards.
Bieganski 17 | 901
26 Apr 2015  #13
nobody here remotely fits any of those descriptions you try to use.

Or in other words,

"I could deny it if I liked. I could deny anything if I liked."

― Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest

the issues she has with her unfulfilling partner are more likely to be something specific to him at least as much as the place he comes from.

Utter nonsense. As usual with all these agony aunt threads the "guest" stages everything where "she" describes "herself" as the victim whom everyone should sympathize with while "her" Polish male partner is a complete failure whom "she" only wishes "she" could do something and make him change for the better. For "both" of them and the sake of "their" relationship, of course. How very nice of "her."

Since we don't have the Polish partner's account (we never do in these anti-Polish hit pieces) then he must be given the full benefit of the doubt and therefore the "guest" poster's explanation should be the focus of attention to see how badly "she" has failed to hold up "her" end of the relationship.

no matter how much she tries to work on it, the only work that can ever be a success is to adjust her expectations.

I already said "she" needs to look long and hard in the mirror. The adjustments "she" needs to make is to tell "her" Polish partner "she" knows that "she" hasn't done enough to live up to his expectations.

"She" needs to tell him that rather than respect him and talk to him privately "she" took to the internet to rally strangers in the hopes of finding a release for "her" pent-up resentment towards him and turning an agony aunt rant into yet another anti-Polish screed.

"She" still owes him an apology and an expression of gratitude.

The Polish partner should then take stock of "her" attitude and conduct and then do the right thing and dump "her."

I'm lucky, having found my soulmate long ago. Never a cross word between us, ever and every day as good as the day we met.

Never? Ever? Nah, you're not believable.

Only some crank who talks to house plants or is an obsessed cat owner would make such a ludicrous claim. Nice try, but in the real world advice regarding those sorts of relationships are not transferable to the human variety.
OP triedandtested
26 Apr 2015  #14
For the record i am not being anti polish. Far from it. Your arrogance and ignorance is not wanted. Evidently you are some bitter twisted individual that hasnt lived life enough yet to make valid comments. As for his account i can tell you.... he says i dont do anything wrong and he doesnt understand himself either. Your prejudices against me as a woman are disgraceful. Belittling me for what ? Jumped up idiot that you are.
jon357 63 | 14,122
26 Apr 2015  #15
Never? Ever? Nah, you're not believable.

Believe it or don't, not one argument in 8 years. This happened quite naturally, since we'd both had life stories much stormier than that. One day, when you're a grown-up, you'll hopefully understand that domestic bliss is much easier to achieve than domestic strife when both parties understand its importance. Not everybody argues. Many of us have been in relationships at one time or another with poor communication as the OP is. They don't mend and all one can do is walk away.

The OP comes across as very genuine and I can relate to her situation having been somewhere similar. For five years and the first two were OK. It's easy to put up with an unsatisfactory status quo but you just get miserable in the end.

"guest" stages everything where "she" describes "herself" as the victim whom everyone should sympathize with while "her" Polish male partner is a complete failure whom "she" only wishes "she" could do something and make him change for the better.

Strange inverted commas young man, however if you don't like someone asking questions in English about their partner from Poland, why troll an English language forum about Poland?

I already said "she" needs to look long and hard in the mirror

She evidently has, and has decided she is very unhappy with this guy as her partner whom you try to defend vigorously (and in an inappropriately aggressive and offensive way) despite never having met him.
Bieganski 17 | 901
26 Apr 2015  #16
For the record i am not being anti polish. Far from it. Your arrogance and ignorance is not wanted.

You are the one who started this thread asking "Are Polish men cold?" You are the one who made this generalization about all Polish men (despite claiming to have lived and slept with one for going on three years). And you are the one who sought to get attention seeking affirmation for your claim from complete strangers.

As for his account i can tell you.... he says i dont do anything wrong and he doesnt understand himself either.

You don't get it.

If you cared about your Polish partner and saving your relationship with him then you would have respected him as a person (rather than regard him as a utility) and talked to him already about it a long time ago and sought relationship counseling locally if needed. But you didn't. That's your fault.

You are supposedly a strong, independent woman so why not sort this out yourself or just break things off with him and move on? And when you look back on this relationship you failed to keep together it may someday dawn on you that (unlike your typical local beta males) your Polish alpha male partner saw no need to take and pass your "sh*t tests" and constantly prove his worth to you while simultaneously keeping you both amused and well stocked with gossip material to share with your girlfriends.

And maybe someday you will begrudgingly learn to respect him for at least never treating you as merely a one night stand. That says a lot about his character and commitment which I haven't seen you mention once that you are able and willing to reciprocate. That says a lot about you.

Your prejudices against me as a woman are disgraceful. Belittling me for what ? Jumped up idiot that you are.

As any cultural marxist and social justice warrior worth their kosher salt on PF would tell you, gender differences are a social construct. So you can just stop right now with the petty "but I'm the fairer sex - how dare you!" feigned outrage when you find you can't defend your actions. That trump card has been so overplayed that no one anywhere takes it seriously anymore.
OP triedandtested
26 Apr 2015  #17
Oh please !! He knows everything about the problem which is why i am trying yo establish if it common !! He was the first to know about it !! And had i not be committed and just in it for one thing also ..i would have jumped beds by now !!!! Far from doing so i might add which is why i want a balanced relationship !!! And girlfriends know nothing... its here anonomously for a reason..cos i dont gossip ! Failing for you to see is the issue herr...and more disjointing to think your nation would be proud of you ?? I think not. Farewell.
Vox - | 175
27 Apr 2015  #18
Oh please !!

Oh please? After almost three years of the ongoing relationship you are asking whether his aloofness in bed has anything to do with his nationality? Are you serious? I think not!
asiangirl - | 1
16 Nov 2015  #19
Merged: What polish men look for in womem

And I mean for long-term relationships, not for flings. I am interested in a gorgeous polish man in his early 40s, and I'd like to know more about polish men in general.
Wulkan - | 3,251
16 Nov 2015  #20
Polish men don't like fat women so if your not fat it's a plus :-)
singlelife
16 Nov 2015  #21
am polish and single
Levi 12 | 450
16 Nov 2015  #24
Well, They are cold? Maybe they are.

But i came from an environment where people are hot (at every aspect), since i am latin.

And while the Polish Man in fact are cold, they are much more reliable, good parents, hardworking and honest than their latin counterparts.

They are also much more male and willing to protect their family than their Western-European conterparts.

(OF COURSE there are exceptions, i am just talking about general personal perceptions, before some Political Correct idiot come with the cliche that we cannot put everyone in the same bag and blablabla)

So it is a tradeoff of whatever is essential to you.
Dreamergirl 4 | 276
5 Jul 2016  #25
Polish men are old fashioned in relationships but that's a very nice change


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