Should I forgive my cheating Polish girlfriend?

Actually, maybe you have a point here.

SMP: I think she said she was moving out to 'get her life together' because she didn't want to be with you. People don't go to the extent of renting a new flat unless they really want out. And they don't move one inch from your side if they love you like you think she loves you. She can't love you like that. If she did, whatever happened between you, she would be stuck to your side like a limpet. Trust me on this one.

And I think she agreed to your still 'dating' just to let you down easy and basically for you to let her out of the door (and perhaps help with suitcases to the road and taxi fare to new flat ; ).

I am sorry, but standing back and detaching your feelings about her from the facts, I think she was really just moving out and getting away from you.

Poles often say 'you can't force anything', and they also say that if someone wants to be with you, they will be, and if they don't, they won't. Sounds so simple it seems obvious, but I think these are facts that you need to accept, and you aren't there yet.

It's really hard to get what's actually going on. The woman might have finished the relationship but
it also reads like she thought the Polish guy was going to set up a new life with her. Could be he done her a few times then

blew her out, now she wants to be back with SMP!
I think she wants to hang on to SMP for a bit until she has something new that's concrete!
Think Chicago was very unsympathetic and excusing this girl's behaviour cos she's Polish, some men excuse Polish women anything!
My advice is still the same GET RID!!!! The woman is a Skank.

Ofc I do have a point here and it's a pretty good point.


Oh no,she moved out because she really wanted to be with SMP.
Yes I am being sarcastic.


You are right.She was just trying to be gentle with him but words are cheap and one always needs to look at the facts.


How old are you mister?Guess what,people often have sex just for fun.


Yes and this is why she moved moved out?


Look man,you are displaying very selfish way of thinking.Can't you understand that people have right to pursue happiness even though it may hurt others in the process?In cases like this harm is not done on purpose.She has no control over his feelings and I can bet that she would prefer him to just get over her quickly but there isn't much she can do about it.And I am excusing not because she is Polish but because I take others feelings into account and I understand that they have the right to be happy.Same way I excused my 2 ex American wifes when they decided to divorce me.Yes it was painful but I knew I had no rights to stop them.We are still friends (FWB if you know what I mean) becathey know that I am a cool dude and not selfish.


It is impossible for SMP to follow your "advice" simply because SHE ALREADY GOT RID OF HIM.Gosh,it is not rocket science.

Taking her back and carrying on with the relationship is really sending a message that says it's ok for her to behave this way.

Don't you think you deserve better treatment?? I know people make mistakes but if she's looking elsewhere then in my opinion that says there is something wrong with your relationship.

You're better off being on your own than in a relationship that isn't working.

Good luck. Wish you all the best in your decision!

I'm 28 years old! I'm not a prude, people have sex for fun, but there are still rules and regs mate. Cheating is a bad thing, even if the girl felt she was

free to sh-g about the guy she f-cked wasn't and she knew that! It makes her a skank and that mate isn't rocket science either

!


Why is she in contact with SMP telling him she is gutted about shagging the Polish guy?? Looks like she wants something out of him?? She hasn't completely got rid of him has she, unless the OP is lying through his teeth, which case the whole thread is pointless!


It's not me who's selfish, there's ways of doing things and the skank didn't do it right!
The right way is:' SMP I'm completely finished with you, I consider my self to be free to sh-g about or start a new relationship, we are not dating, don't hold out any hope, get a new life without me!' that is what people do if they are honest and genuinely care about others!

Also no one has spared a thought about the poor fiance of the Polish guy that skank sh-gged, was she being selfish in expecting her man not to poke some little slag!

Rules?When it comes to romance the only rule is that there are no rules.


Maybe because she doesn't want to tell him to **** OFF.Look, people differ.I have no problem to tell anybody (this way or another) to **** off when I am tired of them but I know many people who do.


Does it?No,it looks like he wants something from her


You forgot to add that this is "the right way" according to you.Not everyone is like you.The problem with your thinking is that you took a side from the very begining and never tried to look at the issue from the other side.There are always two sides of the coin my man.


What about her?Americans say "Ignorance is a bliss" so lets hope she's ignorant.

True,I don't blame the girl for leaving, just the way she did it, also that she 'appears' to be hanging about, though I can see you don't think that she is hanging on.


Be hard on the girl but I hope she knows about what her di-khead fiancee did and that she dumps him big style cos he's a wank-r who shags about with two bit c-nts who don't give a toss about people!

There is no way I can ever respect cheats, there is no reason for it!!!!

Don't know what you mean?I think she was quite fair with SMP as she moved out when she realized he is not what she wants.


Possible but from my experience highly unlikely.It is the other way around,SMP is hanging to the hope that she will back and tries to keep in touch.Nothing to be embarassed about,I and milions of other men done that too.


She did not cheat.She gave SMP clear message when she moved out.Sometimes you have to read between the lines instead of relying on your hopes and wishes.

man, cut her out. i have been in your shoes before. taking her back will be worse.

In the words of the Paul Smon song, everything put together, sooner or later falls apart. IMO this relationship isn't a harmonious one, it isn't meant to be, and prolonging it would cause both people pain.

Um..she DID..it is adultry /cheating specially when the OTHER person is involved in relationship too


and that is nice modern horrible urban dictionary

Not sure why you want to tangent off of question which was if he should cauterize the wound and not allow reinfection.. or let it free bleed in hopes of healing.

Nor why you need to defend cheaters.. regardless of their "right to freedom". No one said she is not free to her right to be a trollop... but we ain't gonna sugar coat what she is with some PC term of female "empowerment" either. We have right o think her behavior SUCKS.

I have right to be serial killer; If I don't want to be known as one.. I shouldn't kill anyone. It is not rocket science. She is a cheap huzzy. And ....still talks to him? for keeping the spell cast "in case"> I have had one of these. "Space: is another way of saying I wanna sleep around but want to be considered "broke up" .

No one really needs to play Devil's advocate in this case. OP knows if what he said is true so knows answers are only valid if information of question is. Assuming facts of offered info despite motivation? And as a woman?

I am of opinion she is major SKANK-FLOOZY. OP is obviously ass over tincups in love with this wench and not seeing it clear and missed red flags.

But it is VERY likely she was ALREADY sleeping with the Polish Dog (com'on a mere 4 days later? And he is ENGAGED? that is pretty fast wouldn't most agree? thou I am not even gonna ask HOW OP intercepted message... dude to repeat it will be stalky & obsessive. You found out ..quit digging.)

**YELLS to OP** Don't be her "second choice" or back-up plan. BAIL. Remove her from social media, phone, skype. Go get a hobby other than her. Her bad temper you indulged is not simply being young or Polish or even the drinking. She only fights with You when drunk. She owe yo money? Just write it off as lesson learned.

You sound wonderfully gallante (and codependent). Go find someone like minded so you are cherished in return. Best revenge is living well and happy!

Well said!!!
SMP never go back to the girl a 'sketty betty' in many people's opinion.

i'feel what you feel as it also happen to me with my polish girlfriend who always make me feel jealous and angry, well its better to let her go to find her own way like i do

I think the OP needs to come back here and provide an update, the forum has spoken and its a land slide decision.

With a name like ' ilonka1' you still have not gotten over her...

polish girls are genetically UNFAITHFUL. just get used to it

I'm sorry but you are an


And you know it. Those were your words.
Without trust and honesty there is no relationship. How can you trust her again?
Polish or not, you should never continue a relationship with someone who has cheated on you.
I never cheat on anyone and wouldn't stay with any girl that did it to me.
It happened to me a couple of times with English girls when I was much younger. That's just women for you.
Remember the good times, smile and move on... life's too short.
Good luck! :)

Who are we to Judge. No one is perfect in this world Life is to short to think of the past. Just move on with your life and remember that there is a new hope with a new day .Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending There comes a time in your life, when you walk away from all the drama and people that make it. So surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right. Forget about the ones who don not Life is too short to be anything but be happy!!

No kids
No marriage
Only 2 years? (1 was long distance anyway)

Cut your loses, which seem to be quite small. There are so many interesting and incredible people out in the world. You shouldn't feel the need to settle (Unless maybe if you have young kids). Find someone that is truly in love with you because that's what we all desire.

Why do so many naive men make so many expensive gifts to women?

Isn't it supposed to be equality between sexes?

Or women are somehow superior race and they deserve more than men?

Why?
It is natural that males offer gifts to women to have sex with them. It has always been so, even before human race evolved, a homonid male ape brought hunted meat to win itself sex partners.


Read sth about apes first.

Nah, back in the good old days a swing with the club would be enough to drag her by her hair into your cave. ;)

No, females were respected by their male partners in prehistoric times. It was civilisation which brought changes into it.

Update:

What I should have done: Cut her out completely and removed her from Facebook. Maybe she would have realised in her own time how much I meant to her and would have wanted to get back together.

What I actually did: After a few days I decided that I really needed her back, my heart desired her and it felt too unnatural to let her go without a fight. I sent her emails trying to appeal to her sweet side. I convinced her to meet me few times. But everytime it was the same story, she was determined to move on, and told me anything she could think of for me to leave her alone (She never loved me, she was always unhappy, she used me) and although her eyes betrayed what she was saying, she was determined this time to not get back together. In previous times I could always eventually get through to her sweet side, and this is why I continued with this method, but this time it was fruitless.

Basically I was weak and pathetic. My approach to the situation was the wrong one but I went with what felt natural. I can only console myself with the fact that at least I fought to the end for the love of my life.

Yesterday we met for the last time to exchange some final stuff. She invited me into her flat where she lives with a load of Polish guys. The place was a mess and they clearly drink, smoke and party most nights. She says she is happy now. I get the impression she has started seeing one of her polish flatmates. I wonder how long such a lifestyle will make her happy before she realises what a load of deadbeats she is hanging around with. This time I did not try to win her back. I told her a few home truths about how appalling she has treated me, and how she is likely to continue being a cheat for the rest of her life as she can never take responsibility for anything and blames other people for everything which gives her the justification to do such things. Maybe I didn't mention before but she also cheated on her only other serious boyfriend during a ‘bad patch’. I told her that one day she will realise what a special love we once shared and she will cry when she realises how she destroyed it. After I just walked out without saying goodbye and cut her out of Facebook etc

I finally realise there is no way back and I try to move on with my life now. With a tear in my eye I have to accept that I lost the love of my life and will probably never connect with someone like that again.

I know people reading this will think that actually it sounds one sided and that perhaps she never really loved me and maybe even used me. But I can assure you that until recently it really was both ways and I felt it very strongly, and also in the words she said. No-one is that good of an actress. But in the end the love wasn’t enough and she craved other things in her life, which were ultimately more important than just being with me.

After following this thread for a while, and reading about the obvious deep love you had for this girl, I am really proud of you!

Its tough buddy, but she ain't worth, and she might never learn better but if she does like you wrote, she will cry her eyes out!

I've been in similar situation, and it takes time but you will eventually move on and you will feel better with another person.
Best of luck, and congrats on finally making the right decision.

SMP,If you don't mind my asking,how old are you?

Thirty

SMP, Cool,I was just curios.It does get tougher as you get older,but you'll bounce back easy enough at that age.I know it's a hard reality,but I think it is probably better that she hadn't gone back with you,probably bring you worse heartache in the future based on what you have written about her.I know it's cliche,but there are many more fish in the sea.Good luck!