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Ten things to remember when you have a Polish girlfriend


Macduff 9 | 69
11 Jun 2010 #1
Ten things to remember when you have a Polish girlfriend

There are an awful lot of guys out there in Poland (and elsewhere) with Polish girlfriends. It’s not always an easy thing, I know and I feel your pain. This is the definitive list of ‘things to remember’ …at least until I think of the next definitive list.

1 Her name
Bear with me, I’m not being (completely) flippant. About 90 percent of all women in Poland are named Magda, Ola, Anna, Dorota, or Kasia. That’s it. This can be confusing. If you can’t remember your Polish girlfriend’s first name ask her what her second name is. Everybody has a second name here. Unfortunately it’s usually just one of the above, but you might get lucky and come across a Jadwiga (if you’ll pardon the expression).

2. Women’s Day
This is one of approximately 74 occasions during the year when you are required to give a Polish girlfriend flowers. Flower-selling is an immensely profitable and stable business in Poland. There are flower sellers everywhere and, until recently, they were about the only businesses that stayed open on a Sunday. Women’s Day? It’s in April some time; look it up. I’m not even mentioning Valentine’s Day; that’s so obvious that you entirely deserve to lose a testicle if you forget it in Poland.

3. She is a a princess
Polish girls are brought up in the tradition of old-fashioned chivalry and deference to the ‘weaker sex.’ That means YOU carry the bags, open the door, mend things, make tea in the morning, escort her to the bus stop etc. When a little exasperated by this I often point out to my girlfriend that she’s being a ‘bit of a princess’ to which she usually smiles and flutters her eyelids in complete ignorance of the negative connotations of the phrase in British and American English. Oh well.

4. Walking is impossible
Part of the chivalry thing mentioned above is the expectation that whenever you are walking somewhere together she should have her arm looped through yours. Down narrow and crowded streets this makes progress painfully slow. It’s sweet, and I kind of like it sometimes, but it would be nice to walk through crowded areas in single file sometimes instead of having to go through ridiculous sideways-shuffling maneuvers, every five feet.

5. You are furniture
While trying to relax and watch a film in which hundreds of Russian troops are hosed down by panzers she will use you as a pillow / footstool / nose-scratching device. This is also kind of sweet and nice, but it can make it hard to concentrate on the body count.

6. She has a mother…
…who regards you with more than a hint of suspicion. Polish mothers of that generation are convinced that foreigners are godless, feckless, untrustworthy imps sent by satan to steal their daughters and carry them off to London / Dublin / Des Moines. In other words, they are remarkably well informed. You have two choices; get your act together and behave like a decent human being or avoid the mother like the plague. Neither is painless.

7. Your food is not your own
It’s a well known fact amongst men that women mysteriously become ravenously hungry only when you happen to have a large plate of long-anticipated chips in front of you. However, the effect does seem to be particularly pronounced among Polish women, who claim to eat almost nothing. Always, and I mean ALWAYS, order or cook more than you can possibly eat because your stick-thin Polish girlfriend will inevitably develop the appetite of a blue whale the moment her anxiously selected ’small salad’ arrives.

8. You can kiss other women
She has female friends and it’s perfectly acceptable, in fact encouraged, for you to kiss all of them up to three times every time you see them. Exactly where you put your hands while you are doing this is a issue I have yet to resolve successfully. Still, it’s an up side.

9. She’s smarter than you are
The Polish education system is a marvel and good education is respected above almost everything else here. Chances are that your Polish girlfriend not only speaks English, German, and Russian (how many languages do you speak) but also has a pretty good grasp of a lot of things that you slept through at school. You’re only hope is to pretend that such things ‘aren’t considered important in Western culture’ and shrug until she buys it.

10. …uh oh
I’ve forgotten the last one! I’m in big trouble.

If you enjoyed this post why not visit my personal blog Wyspianski Unwinding
Or click on my Island1 on the left to see all my other posts on Polandian

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Stu 12 | 522
12 Jun 2010 #2
1 Her name

That's why I have always called my girlfriends Darling, Sweetheart, Angel ... ;). So even "in the heat of battle" you're sure you don't get it wrong. I don't want to shout out "Ooooo Magda" during my orgasm when in fact my wife is called Anita ... :P.

Great post, MacDuff!
king polkakamon - | 544
12 Jun 2010 #3
The basic thing to remember with a polish girl is your ATM PIN.
PlasticPole 7 | 2,649
12 Jun 2010 #4
Just Polish girl or any girl?
southern 75 | 7,096
12 Jun 2010 #5
With russian you need to remember at least 3 pins.Today for example I dated one Russkaya and two Polki and I lost account of spending.And then another Polka sends sms and asks for money!

I wonder how greek economy can survice.
Mr Grunwald 19 | 1,542
12 Jun 2010 #6
LMAO

This was sooo funny! I could say even accurate haha! :p
SouthMancPolak - | 104
12 Jun 2010 #7
1. Her name
Bear with me, I’m not being (completely) flippant. About 90 percent of all women in Poland are named Magda, Ola, Anna, Dorota, or Kasia. That’s it. This can be confusing. If you can’t remember your Polish girlfriend’s first name ask her what her second name is. Everybody has a second name here. Unfortunately it’s usually just one of the above, but you might get lucky and come across a Jadwiga (if you’ll pardon the expression).


This is why she only gets called "kochanie" lol

2. Women’s Day

same with all women really

3. She is a a princess
Polish girls are brought up in the tradition of old-fashioned chivalry and deference to the ‘weaker sex.’ That means YOU carry the bags, open the door, mend things, make tea in the morning, escort her to the bus stop etc. When a little exasperated by this I often point out to my girlfriend that she’s being a ‘bit of a princess’ to which she usually smiles and flutters her eyelids in complete ignorance of the negative connotations of the phrase in British and American English. Oh well.


She just needs to be reminded occasionally about who is the prince :)

4. Walking is impossible
Part of the chivalry thing mentioned above is the expectation that whenever you are walking somewhere together she should have her arm looped through yours. Down narrow and crowded streets this makes progress painfully slow. It’s sweet, and I kind of like it sometimes, but it would be nice to walk through crowded areas in single file sometimes instead of having to go through ridiculous sideways-shuffling maneuvers, every five feet.


This is 100% true LMAO

5. You are furniture
While trying to relax and watch a film in which hundreds of Russian troops are hosed down by panzers she will use you as a pillow / footstool / nose-scratching device. This is also kind of sweet and nice, but it can make it hard to concentrate on the body count.


And this! But all women do this ime. I object to being a doormat but I don't mind being a footrest lol

6. She has a mother…

Actually, no. She died young.

7. Your food is not your own
It’s a well known fact amongst men that women mysteriously become ravenously hungry only when you happen to have a large plate of long-anticipated chips in front of you. However, the effect does seem to be particularly pronounced among Polish women, who claim to eat almost nothing. Always, and I mean ALWAYS, order or cook more than you can possibly eat because your stick-thin Polish girlfriend will inevitably develop the appetite of a blue whale the moment her anxiously selected ’small salad’ arrives.


100% true again - but you forgot to mention the ketchup lol

8. You can kiss other women

I wouldn't want to lol

9. She’s smarter than you are
The Polish education system is a marvel and good education is respected above almost everything else here. Chances are that your Polish girlfriend not only speaks English, German, and Russian (how many languages do you speak)


she usually isn't, three and a bit, and she could barely speak English never mind Russian or German haha

but also has a pretty good grasp of a lot of things that you slept through at school. You’re only hope is to pretend that such things ‘aren’t considered important in Western culture’ and shrug until she buys it.

all that education and they go and work in a nail bar when they leave school lol :D

10. …uh oh I’ve forgotten the last one! I’m in big trouble.

That's why she dumped you for a foreigner ;)
OP Macduff 9 | 69
12 Jun 2010 #8
Hope you enjoyed this article that I found. Truth is I am getting married to my Polish Girl in July :)
ZIMMY 6 | 1,601
12 Jun 2010 #9
I don't want to shout out "Ooooo Magda" during my orgasm when in fact my wife is called Ani

I usually just ask; are you done yet?

I often point out to my girlfriend that she’s being a ‘bit of a princess’ to which she usually smiles and flutters her eyelids in complete ignorance of the negative connotations of the phrase in British and American English. Oh well.

Excellent demonstration of how the female mind thinks.
Claaudio - | 1
12 Jun 2010 #10
I hope that this thread will hel pme in the future...
hahaha nice article
skysoulmate 14 | 1,297
12 Jun 2010 #11
Hope you enjoyed this article that I found. Truth is I am getting married to my Polish Girl in July :)

Congrats to you both! How did you two meet?

As far as "your" article, a link would've been nice. I thought those were your own thoughts and tried to figure out how to click on that Wyspianski blog link. :)
lowfunk99 10 | 397
12 Jun 2010 #12
My gf's mom loves me. However, my gf is considered old for an unmarried woman and that might have something to do with it.

I don't care if my gf takes my food. As good of a cook as I am she is even better. She will turn it into something good.
Moonlighting 30 | 232
12 Jun 2010 #13
1 Her name. About 90 percent of all women in Poland are named Magda, Ola, Anna, Dorota, or Kasia.

You forget the Aga and the Asia. There are billions of them.

2. Women's Day It's in April some time

It's on March 8th and is celebrated in many countries. It is an international day.

3. She is a a princess. When a little exasperated by this I often point out to my girlfriend that she's being a 'bit of a princess' to which she usually smiles and flutters her eyelids in complete ignorance of the negative connotations of the phrase in British and American English. Oh well.

She just needs to be reminded occasionally about who is the prince :)

You're both correct. Polish women have so much class, they actually are princesses and it makes any man want to respect them. Usually with pleasure you will comply to this. But on another hand, you must also be quite affirmative as a male, otherwise they will perceive you as a wimp and stop respecting you.

4. Walking is impossible. the expectation that whenever you are walking somewhere together she should have her arm looped through yours.

You're absolutely correct and this is devil's strategy! Everytime my girlfriend put her arm around mine in town, I could expect to be quickly taken back home and raped :-) in a delicate atmosphere of perfumed candles, dimmed lights and sexy underwear.

5. You are furniture

Correct. In my case I'm essentially an all-purpose pillow.

6. She has a mother...

who is usually a king-size mother in her role of watchdog, lowering your defense by cooking for you the best Polish food ever.

7. Your food is not your own. Always, and I mean ALWAYS, order or cook more than you can possibly eat because your stick-thin Polish girlfriend will inevitably develop the appetite of a blue whale the moment her anxiously selected 'small salad' arrives.

Actually my food was always my own but I wonder why they order so small dishes. The first time, she wanted to pay for her dish, probably to show me that she didn't want to just profit of me. But I insisted on paying. And the following times she would just order rosól while I was having a starter then an Argentinian steak. Go figure...

Actually the Poland education system is still the typical European one. She will only look smarter if you're from the U.S., where it's considered normal not to learn anything that has nothing to do with the U.S. or where the traditional cursus in average school will be 15 minutes of math and 5 minutes of geography stuck somewhere between 2 hours of football. A bit exagerating but you got my point.

10. ...uh oh I've forgotten the last one! I'm in big trouble.

Yes you are, because the last one is one the most important: she has a religion. Poland is catholic, and king-size mother will make sure that you follow the rule, or are something as close as possible to it. I know well 4 Polish girls: one colleague from work, one true friend, and two girlfriends. In each case, we developped a good relationship, with fun, comments on our private life etc.. but it's ONLY after having a conversation about religion and they learnt that I' a catholic as well and I sometimes attend church that they really became fully open, relaxed and trustful. The difference before/after was striking. I experienced it again last week with my new girlfriend. We know each other for a few months. The same evening where she put the religion into the conversation was the evening where we kissed for the first time. Maybe the generation accounts for something. She is in her early/mid thirties and i'm in my late thirties.

IHope you enjoyed this article that I found. Truth is I am getting married to my Polish Girl in July :)

Thanks for posting this! ;-) And congratulations on your wedding. All the best for both of you...
A J 4 | 1,088
12 Jun 2010 #14
Polish mothers of that generation are convinced that foreigners are godless, feckless, untrustworthy imps sent by satan to steal their daughters and carry them off to London / Dublin / Des Moines. In other words, they are remarkably well informed.

xD

You have two choices; get your act together and behave like a decent human being or avoid the mother like the plague. Neither is painless.

Or find a not-so-decent girl from a not-so-decent family. Problem solved!

;P

About 90 percent of all women in Poland are named Magda, Ola, Anna, Dorota, or Kasia. That’s it.

So true! I once met a girl, and I still don't know if her name was Anna, Ania or Aniela! (Whatever!)

xD
Wroclaw Boy
12 Jun 2010 #16
How do you know?
southern 75 | 7,096
12 Jun 2010 #17
Polish girls used to be romantic etc but now they are totally materialistic.And they don't make you feel like king like Russian women do.But since polish girls don't have much to offer in other fields they over supplicate with sex and this is the advantage you get with polish(and ukrainian) girls.
SzwedwPolsce 11 | 1,595
12 Jun 2010 #18
Polish girls used to be romantic etc but now they are totally materialistic.

Many people would say that they were more materialistic during, and esp. just after the communism era.

Still it depends on the personality, not nationality.
sobieski 107 | 2,128
12 Jun 2010 #19
My wife is a Goralka, so per definition a bit more strong/flamboyant than your average Polish girl. Her mother even more, so I am relieved 300 kms separate us :)

But between us religion never has been important. We sometimes go to church to the "English parish" on Radna (great priest) but besides of that? The local priest does not even bother to come here to beg for money (as they do everywhere in Poland). He tried once, never repeated it.

Though when we go to my wife's hometown we strictly observe all customs. I guess it is a matter of respect. We lead our own life in the big city, but once over there...why to make a fuss? It is not worth it. These few weekends we are there....Her mother feels at peace... we survive.
southern 75 | 7,096
12 Jun 2010 #20
Many people would say that they were more materialistic during, and esp. just after the communism era.

They were not like that I assure you.Now it is total decadence.
sobieski 107 | 2,128
12 Jun 2010 #21
What do you mean with decadence here ? I mean they are not anymore impressed by hard currency but want to pursue their own career?
southern 75 | 7,096
12 Jun 2010 #22
If you experience it you will understand.It can be even worse than in Ukraine.I mean there are no low borders for polish women.But who knows?Slavs are elastic.
frd 7 | 1,399
12 Jun 2010 #23
Good read.. I've been reading polandian blogs from time to time, long time ago, completely forgotten about the site since then..
southern 75 | 7,096
12 Jun 2010 #24
What career?Polish girls do not care how somebody acquired his money.
sobieski 107 | 2,128
12 Jun 2010 #25
I think this shows how you think about (Polish) women in general. Of course if you go to clubs where women go to pick up foreigners... Poor...

If I see if our social circle, people do not have time to go out. You go to work on normal working hours, get home very tired, Saturdays are spent making shopping, washing the car, evening going with friends to the movies... Sundays sleeping a bit longer, making a walk together in Lazienki... and then it is again Monday morning.

Life as it is.
shush 1 | 212
12 Jun 2010 #26
I think this shows how you think about (Polish) women in general

It is a well known fact that men who cant get laid are bad mouthing all women whom they desire but whom they cant have from whatever reason. So we know southern and MiguelColombia are virgins
wiIdrover
12 Jun 2010 #27
So we know southern and MiguelColombia are virgins

LOL! and what does that make you?? A ho:))?
shush 1 | 212
12 Jun 2010 #28
Just coz someone is a virgin it means someone else is a ho?
wiIdrover
12 Jun 2010 #29
How did you determine that they are virgins?Maybe you are too...and that too not by choice.
shush 1 | 212
12 Jun 2010 #30
How did you determine that they are virgins?

i was exaggerating as u could see but often it happens that people who were hurt or rejected by someone are bad mounthing the whole group from where that person came from. It applies as much to men as to women really.


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