Need Advice: I have fallen in love with a Polish woman...

Thanks PlasticPole .
At least someone with some advice but I think we will be together some day I only have to wait
Thanks

looks like your heart is at the right place, talk to her, or, as you suggested, give her some time, she has enough on her place and it is not easy for her. You seem to be the only support she has at the moment.

Good luck.

yw and powodzenia!

Thanks aphrodisiac.
I have been the only one to support her to get her own flat and furnish it as she gets no help from anyone else.

I love this woman and I would do anything for her.
Thanks for your comment

Which really explains why there are so many single guys out there. Oh, and how is she committed when she wants to leave him? Why should she commit herself to a husband who doesn't want to take care of her, himself and their kids?

I have no advice for you Trevness, I guess all you can do is try to be a better guy for her? Good luck with that.

:)

Thanka AJ

Um, aren't the kids seventeen and twenty? She's the one who married the guy, so you would have to ask her what made her marry him in the first place. Those kids are almost grown. Most people would say screw the marriage, but these people are old school catholic and they don't do that.

That's no reason to neglect them.


Just because you signed a piece of paper doesn't mean you have to keep your promise to someone who doesn't keep his promise. Sometimes people change, and not always for the better.


Another good reason to divorce?


They don't do what? Some priests are oldschool Catholics aswell, and they've abused children. Does that mean the church should keep them because there's a commitment? No offense, but why should you keep your promise to a man who treats you like you're garbage? Because the pope says so?

:)

Nevermind, this discussion is pointless anyway.

Twenty is into adulthood, not a kid anymore. Basically, a large talk is needed and she needs to choose, period!

Probably for the best.

:)

Yes, the church has tolerated some criminal acts among it's clergy. There's no excuse and those guilty should have been handed over to authorities. At the time all this was happening, sadly, child abuse wasn't prosecuted like it is today. Oprah hadn't yet liberated the masses and most people didn't discuss such issues openly.

This hasn't much to do with the sanctity of marriage within the church. Catholics take it very seriously. In some families, a divorce is positively scandalous. A married man or woman has little choice in such families. The church exerts a lot of pressure. Catholics are not as likely to divorce as members of other denominations because of this pressure.

It has, because a priest also takes a vow, so you could say there's commitment between the priest and the church. So the church doesn't find it a scandal to sever its ties with a priest who went bad, but they do find it scandalous when a woman wants to sever her ties with a man who went bad? It's simple really, you don't have to honour your promise if your other half doesn't honour his side of the bargain.


That's their problem.


Well, as we say here; If one sheep jumps over the bridge, more will follow.

;)

good luck to you both:).

Marriage is different because it's the sacred union of a man and woman before God and that's the most important thing of all to the Church. It's up to the clergy to counsel the man and the woman. If the man "went bad", find out why. See what's making the marriage impossible.

I get the impression they find money and influence more important, but that's another subject.


Sometimes there's no love anymore. No matter how much counselling they need according to a bunch of old people.


The why doesn't really matter to most women, and you being one, know exactly what I mean with that. The fact that he made her miserable for years and didn't care should be enough reason. Why my butt.


And then? Conclude the obvious? As if adult people need someone else to make decisions for them?

:)

Have your say if you must. I will nod if that pleases you.

Plastic Pole is giving you "old School Catholic viewpoint". This is what she (your girlfriend) may be thinking. AJ's comments are a good rebuttal.

Keep in mind that marriage is a civil contract and the contract may have been broken before you arrived (that's why we have divorce laws). If you both love each other, she's certainly old enough to know what she wants, kids are old enough. And cant you and her live together?

Getting divorced is not really hard thing here, in Poland. If she really loves you and wants to be with you, she should get divorced. And explanation, that she is catholic doesn't seem anything serious.

Ambush her with a hatchet, cut her up pickle her and send the jars to her kids, then shoot a milk bottle in the face and run for cover when its alien girlfriend comes riding a jet propelled shoelace to exact bloody vengence.

I refuse to believe adults are as idiotic as OP seems to be, its a bloody provocation.

Lets consider the possibilites here:

A 40 something Brit meets a polish mother in crisis who apparently has choosing issues, after failing to find a solution said adult brit resolves that its because she's Polish and it will take a Pole to understand a Pole - in this case the author is an unbelievably epic retard who deserves to be shot on principle of being sh*tty at life.

Or its another old time poster making yet another faggy thread with an alt name.

Both are f*cking tragic options.

Getting divorced is not really hard thing here, in Poland. If she really loves you and wants to be with you, she should get divorced. And explanation, that she is catholic doesn't seem anything serious.

First of all i imagine he's talking about Catholic divorce, thats rather hard as Catholics cannot divorce.

What can be done is to nullify the marriage but thats a b*tch as well.

in catholic religion there is not any divorce, you can only cancel your marriage, that means that if you're getting divorce, you can't marry anybody in church again.

I thought, that her problem is divorce as divorce, that she can't get divorced just because it's impossible. so I wrote, that it's possible and it depends on her, so her explanation, that she can't get divorced is just stupid.

Ive been saying this about these kind of threads for years....Id love to know where all these stupid British men came from...Let's face it, they can't be all that bright if they believe half of the boll*x they're told!

Just one more thing, without sounding anti-feminist, what kind of married woman brings her two kids (regardless of age) to a foreign country where she has nothing in place and puts herself in a position of having to "befriend" a stupid British man in order to get a roof over her head...

Trevness, stick with it if you believe she is the one for you. I am now living with a Polish woman whom I met while she was still married and living with her violent drunken husband. She had tried for years to find the strength to leave him but had always given in to her family, his family and the local priest who told her it was wrong for a woman to leave her husband regardless of how he behaved. He always promised that he would change; this change only lasted until the next time he got drunk and became violent again.

The thing is, it's easy for people to stand back and take the moral high ground and tell someone to live a life of fear and misery because it is the morally or religiously correct way to behave but they don't have to live that life themselves. For me, to insist that a person should stay in a violent and miserable situation is simply punishing the victim further and to claim that escaping this situation is against God's will is just lazy pre-conditioned thinking.

Forget the ******** about heaven and hell etc; if you love her and she loves you then neither of you will care where you spend eternity as long as it's together.

I helped my partner to escape from her miserable life and she came with her 16 year-old to live here in the UK and they both believe it is the best thing they've ever done. Once her husband realised that she was serious about divorcing him and she told him she'd bring evidence to court of the times she and her daughter had called the police to the house and the times she'd been to the doctor and taken time off work because he'd hit her he didn't contest the divorce.

My partner still believes in God and goes to the Catholic church when she wants to and just accepts that she will not be able to remarry in a Catholic church and that the church doesn't recognise her divorced status is a very, very small price to pay for happiness and freedom.

Follow your heart Trevness; you're the only one who can take responsibility for your life and the decisions you make.

(p.s I'll let you into a little secret: there is no heaven or hell....but don't tell anyone I told you.)

Good advice....In a ideal world we would all be virgins when we marry..and remain with our faithfull partners all our lives....

But its not an ideal world , people make mistakes , people change....you have to grab at whatever makes you happy , and the church and the moral judges have no right to condem a relationship that is making the people involved happy....

Follow your heart....give it your best....good luck...

Bloody silly moo...!

I have met some different Polka and I am afraid now.

You mean non inflatable ones....???

I have heard of many stories like this in Poland. To understand Polish people as a British person having never lived in Poland in nigh on impossible. Firstly she could get divorced in Poland if she wanted to, even in the eyes of the church. I think the woman is not sharing with you one important point. Firstly if she divorces him, she would have to waive all rights to the family home in Poland and therefore the security blanket if all fails in the uk. The kids would not have a home in Poland. There are many scumbag husbands in Poland that just stay in the family home and live side by side with their wives while they are seeing other men, because they do not want to give up the rights to the family home in the eyes of the state. This issue is all about being homeless in Poland. You will never understand this Trevness it is a polish situation. Press here on this issue and you will loose her.

Hey, you can stay single and grow old alone if you want, but maybe you can find some peace in the fact that you're so much smarter than all these stupid guys who are tired of being lonely?


I think you have to understand a few things about Polish culture. A lot of people still vieuw a divorce as something to be deeply ashamed of, especially in the smaller towns, villages and the rural areas of Poland. I really don't think you would want to be socially stigmatized either?

Oh, and of course there's still a lot of poverty in Poland - which probably explains why so many Polish people choose to work abroad - and there just aren't too many guys who would want to take care of a divorced woman who has children of her own. So you can stay with a husband who neglects you and treats you like garbage, or you can spread your wings and hope for the best.

Maybe you shouldn't take relationships too serious at your age, and vieuw a relationship as being in good, pleasant, friendly or handsome company for as long as it lasts. It's not as stupid as you think to have some company, and you never know what might, or might not grow between you and the other person.

;)

Whats not to understand? Do you think the above only goes on in Poland? Besides if they own the property and both names are on the deeds, she is entitled to half of the property..People become homeless all around the world, not just in Poland...Its not a cultural thing, neither is it nation specific...

She's telling lies to some stupid British bloke who is taking it in like an fool, anyone who comes to a forum looking for answers should be shot for being such a retarded!

They don't own the property the family has rights to rent it from the state.If they divorce the husband will get full rights to the property as she is in the UK. No security blanket if all fails in the UK and the children are out of a home... They do not give up the right to rent as it is handed down from one family member to another.