The BEST Guide to POLAND
Unanswered  |  Archives 
 
 
User: Guest

Home / Life  % width posts: 156

Single mothers in Poland


rozumiemnic 8 | 3,671
21 Jul 2015  #1
(moved from another thread)
it is the way he is always thundering about single mothers that I object to.
An awful lot of us are only in that position due to inadequate men .....:)...guess what we were even married....once..but thanks to modern law, were able to file for divorce from those inadequates...

I daresay some people would rather we went back to the old days where a woman and her children had no choice but to stay.
OP InPolska 11 | 1,821
21 Jul 2015  #2
Are those girls most often dropped by irresponsible guys to be blamed? Raising kids when alone demands a lot of efforts and courage. I know for all religious nuts, single mothers = ****** .....

PS: I meant to write a word staring in "w" but it was changed ;)
rozumiemnic 8 | 3,671
21 Jul 2015  #3
edited
InPolska - did you mean w.hores?
johnny reb 17 | 3,642
21 Jul 2015  #4
An awful lot of us are only in that position due to inadequate men

But most just don't know how to listen which would be my guess in your case.

some people would rather we went back to the old days where a woman and her children had no choice but to stay.

You must not have been listening again when you got married to the words that said; "Until Death Do You Part".
But that promise to God Almighty Himself was just words for an atheist, what the hell, the easy way is to just get the man's seed and divorce him after you have your children, collect welfare, alamoney checks, child support checks, free house payment, free medical and in the process you don't have to wash his dirty undershorts or socks anymore.

Other men see you now as a ball and chain with attitude and avoid you like a plague.
So you finally catch onto no hope ever again for love with a male and get your haircut like a man and gain 20 kilo's and become a full fledged man hater and become lesbian material.

..but thanks to modern law,

Exactly, modern law has become the third spouse in the marriage to help women no longer need to depend on her spouse to support her and raise their children with an in home father so their son's can have a masculine role model so they don't become femmy and go gay.

Or in short.......everything that goes against the Christian Church and everything that goes for the Church of Meism of Satan's lies.
Polonius3 1,000 | 12,448
21 Jul 2015  #5
thundering about single mothers

If you take the trouble to re-read the post, single mothers were not attacked. The criticism was directed at the GALMOURISATION of single motherhood as a lifestyle option rather than the affliction and tragedy it really is, especially for the children involved. The entertainment media are largely to blame for many of society's ills by glamourising the brain-between-his-legs stud, flashy drug dealer, wanton violence, porn, prostitution, etc.

The film "Pretty Woman" was great as films go, well acted, well directed, good costuming, lighting and camerwork. Its upbeat climate and happy ending attracted droves of young girls from rural and small-town America to the big cities for a slice of the "good life". Most ended up disillusioned, exploited, battered, addicted to drugs or in the morgue. Thank you Julia Roberts!
rozumiemnic 8 | 3,671
21 Jul 2015  #6
yes but you do shout about 'unwed mothers' an awful lot Pol., don't you?
I am not going to bother trawling through your old posts to back up my point, because I cannot be arsed.
have not seen 'Pretty Woman' , cannot bear Julia Roberts, but I will take your word for it.
OP InPolska 11 | 1,821
21 Jul 2015  #7
@Polonius: I have known a lot of single mothers who are not happy about their status and would love to have men at home. Unfortunately life is not a piece of cake and we have to try to make it.

I know for instance a girl in Wroclaw who was dropped by her husband when she was 3 month pregnant. The guy lives also in Wroclaw and has never seen his son (now about 12). The girl is a highly educated professional from a well-off family, not an idiot from a small village and the guy is of similar socio-economic background. At least, the girl has money, can have a full time nanny, has her family around but what about all those who live in hardship and try to raise their kids the best way they can?
Polonius3 1,000 | 12,448
21 Jul 2015  #8
single mothers who are not happy

I agree and no-one is blaming them any more than soemone whose husband was murdered or their home torched by an arsonsist. These women are also mostly victims. But there is a tendency in some rather influential opinion-moulding celebrity circles to GLAMOURISE single motherhood, sperm banks and test-tube babies as lifestyle options and provide the gullible with cutesy-clever (?) arguments: I don't need no bloke hanging about, I can raise my kid alone, bla-bla-bla.
Vox - | 175
21 Jul 2015  #9
Are those girls most often dropped by irresponsible guys to be blamed?

At least half of the blame lays with them girls. I would add modern society promote irresponsible lifestyles as something attractive, desirable and a best way to express one's freedom. Also feminist ideology is emasculating and belittling men. A lack of due resect and appreciation in a society for a responsible male role as a father and a husband adds to the problem of irresponsible behavior in both sexes.
rozumiemnic 8 | 3,671
21 Jul 2015  #10
But there is a tendency in some rather inlfuential opinion-moulding celebrity circles to GLAMOURISE single motherhood, sperm banks and test-tube babies as lifestyle options and provide the gullible with cutesy-clever (?) arguments: I don't need no bloke hanging about, I can raise my kid alone, bla-bla-bla

such as who exactly?
Personally my opinions are not 'moulded' by shallow 'celebrities' but hey each to their own.
Most single mothers are painfully aware that their situation is not ideal, but you know, it's a lot more ideal than constant shouting and financial abuse is it not?
Polsyr 6 | 769
21 Jul 2015  #11
But there is a tendency in some rather influential opinion-moulding celebrity circles to GLAMOURISE single motherhood, sperm banks and test-tube babies as lifestyle options and provide the gullible with cutesy-clever (?) arguments: I don't need no bloke hanging about, I can raise my kid alone, bla-bla-bla.

If you have a problem with that then don't become a single mother, and raise your kids to believe that it is wrong, but don't force your opinion upon the rest of the world. Fair enough?
OP InPolska 11 | 1,821
21 Jul 2015  #12
@Pol: the Hollywood life style concerns only a few hundred people and not the majority.

Yes, there are some mothers who share this life style but they don't even represent 1% of single mothers. Mothers are single for various reasons and most of them have it very difficult, not only financially but also to raise the kids.

No, contrary to what Johnny wrotes, the huge majority are neither wh... nor lesbians ;).
Atch 17 | 2,843
21 Jul 2015  #13
These women are also mostly victims.

What about the time you referred to 'slutty unwed mothers' and called for them to be 'socially sigmatised and blackballed'?
Changed your tune haven't you? What a fibber you are, thoroughly unwholesome, one of the most smug, self-satisfied and dishonest people I have encountered.
Polonius3 1,000 | 12,448
21 Jul 2015  #14
Please don't twist everything. I was referring to those unwed mothers who do not try to make a good home for their kids but live it up with successive boyfriends, usually with a lot of substance abuse thrown in. Is that your idea of a proper setting to raise youngsters in?

That doies not apply to thsoe who wish to make it up to the kids for their youthful foolishness or failed marriage, sacrifice, maybe hold down two jobs and enlist the grandprents assistance to help with the parenting. Such unwed mothers are downright heroic, not slutty.
bullfrog 6 | 603
21 Jul 2015  #15
thanks Polonius for this clarification, good to hear!
johnny reb 17 | 3,642
21 Jul 2015  #16
No, contrary to what Johnny wrotes, the huge majority are neither wh... nor lesbians ;).

Don't be making false accusations against johnny reb.
He never used the word w*hore and lesbains was pure sarcasm.
I know a lot of single Mom's that WORK and have proper morals for raising children.
They put their kids first and let any potential mates know this right up front.
They don't let males spend the night at their home with the children there.
They do their own hair, finger nails and sacrifice for their children.
Oh you can tell within five minutes single mom's that deserve respect and help.
The one's with the flavor of the month new boyfriends that let them drink, smoke their
dope and use foul language in front of their children while spending all night are the ones
I have a problem with.
And then their are the man haters who are the most dangerous.
I won't even go there. (yet)
OP InPolska 11 | 1,821
22 Jul 2015  #17
@Johnnny: your message at 15.02 yesterday ;)
johnny reb 17 | 3,642
22 Jul 2015  #18
Please quote the sentence I used the word w hore in. ;)
Polonius3 1,000 | 12,448
22 Jul 2015  #19
Hollywood life style concerns only a few hundred people

False! Millions follow, admire and try to imitate Hollywood-promteod lifewstyles and not only unwed mothers or women in general (although females are by far the main readers of celebrity tabloids). Many men also try to emulate the lifestlye and fashions of whichever male role model is being promoted in a given season.
Polsyr 6 | 769
22 Jul 2015  #20
@Polonius3; nobody is forcing you to follow Hollywood stars and you are certainly free to raise your children not to follow them. It is called freedom of choice.
Englishman 2 | 278
22 Jul 2015  #21
Exactly, modern law has become the third spouse in the marriage to help women no longer need to depend on her spouse to support her and raise their children with an in home father so their son's can have a masculine role model so they don't become femmy and go gay.

cropped - please quote only the most relevant part

Most human beings want to love and be loved. So if a woman leaves her partner or husband as Rozumniemnic did, it's because she no longer felt that way. Would you rather women stayed in loveless relationships out of legal obligation or economic necessity?

IMO suggesting Roz didn't know how to listen is offensive. She comes across as one of the most reasonable and engaging people on this forum, someone it would be a pleasure to exchange views with. Unlike some of our more blinkered and dogmatic members...

The idea that other men would see a divorced woman as 'a ball and chain with attitude' and 'avoid [her] like a plague' is also very hurtful. I look at divorced women as women who have the self respect and independence necessary to walk away from a bad situation, who deserve our respect. I could easily fall for one :-).

And as for the suggestion that a woman in such a situation would become a lesbian... I don't know whether you're in a relationship, but if you're single and take this view of all divorced women you're missing out on some decent and loving women if you think divorcees are like this. Why not be a little more open-minded? You might find love - or at least some new friends :-)

Also I'm not aware of any evidence that boys bought up by single mothers become gay. I grew up in such a home, and I'm 100% straight.
Atch 17 | 2,843
22 Jul 2015  #22
Also I'm not aware of any evidence that boys bought up by single mothers become gay. I grew up in such a home, and I'm 100% straight.

No but they definitely tend to be more sensitive and empathic as you've just demonstrated!
johnny reb 17 | 3,642
22 Jul 2015  #23
More like they grow up thinking with their emotions like women do and not thinking with the facts like men do as you just demonstrated.

Divorced women always put their children first and their mother second.
If you are the kind of guy that can tolerate being used and being third or fourth in a divorcee woman's life by being controlled by such a woman there are tons of them out there for some reason.

When reasoning with emotions and not the facts a relationship will never work.
That is one reason there are so many single mom's out there.

So if a woman leaves her partner or husband as Rozumniemnic did, it's because she no longer felt that way.

So hit the delete button and start over ? (Progressive Liberal Thinking)
That seems a little selfish to the children involved.
No one ever promised marriage was smooth sailing.

Would you rather women stayed in loveless relationships out of legal obligation or economic necessity?

Absolutely until the children are raised and the parents responsibilities have been fulfilled.
Then it is just between two people and by then they both will be so wrinkled and set in their ways no one else would want them.

They would find out with some effort, instead of being so damn selfish, that they could work things out and build a loving relationship instead of just hitting the convenient delete button at the childrens expense.
TheOther 5 | 3,697
22 Jul 2015  #24
No one ever promised marriage was smooth sailing.

So what do you expect a wife to do if her husband is abusive or violent towards her and the children for example? Close her eyes, get an ice pack for the bruises, and hope that the kids will be raised soon? You cannot stay in a marriage under all circumstances just because the church expects you to do so.

They would find out with some effort ... that they could work things out and build a loving relationship instead of just hitting the convenient delete button at the childrens expense.

I would agree with you, but when it comes to a*ssholes beating up their family, counceling doesn't really work.
Polonius3 1,000 | 12,448
22 Jul 2015  #25
you expect the wife to do

Although in domestic violence it is usually the male who is guitly of battery, but reportedly in about 25% of the cases it's the other way round. Such cases tend to be under-reported because how many men want to admit to all and sundry that the old lady regularly gives him a drubbing?
TheOther 5 | 3,697
22 Jul 2015  #26
Does that make any difference? Abused man or woman - get a divorce and leave as fast as you can. My point was, that it is sometimes impossible to stay in a relationship even if you are a devout Catholic.
Polonius3 1,000 | 12,448
22 Jul 2015  #27
clarkprosecutor.org/html/domviol/men.htm
OP InPolska 11 | 1,821
23 Jul 2015  #28
Unfortunately for all religious nuts, women are to be dependent and to put up with any crap. A good woman for them stays in the kitchen, gives birth every year, goes to Church/mosque/sinagogue or whatever every day, slaves in the kitchen and shuts up.

When husbands are violent, they need to tighten their teeth and bear it.

Nice life indeeed!
Englishman 2 | 278
23 Jul 2015  #29
So hit the delete button and start over ? (Progressive Liberal Thinking)
That seems a little selfish to the children involved.
No one ever promised marriage was smooth sailing.

Someone who leaves a bad marriage isn't necessarily being selfish. They may be doing it because both partners are unhappy (they've grown apart) or because one is behaving unreasonably. That behaviour may be having a negative impact on any children they have. In fact, far from being selfish, someone who ends a bad marriage may be doing it to protect their children from an abusive spouse. Would you want a woman to remain married to a paedophile for instance, if they were being abused by their father?

I agree with you that marriage isn't always smooth sailing, but it should generally be a supportive and life-affirming experience. If one person is unhappy and religion, the legal system or pressure from family keep them in it, it's a form of imprisonment for them.

As long as people have the right to divorce, it creates an incentive for spouses to behave more considerately, helping make marriage a much better experience for most people.
OP InPolska 11 | 1,821
23 Jul 2015  #30
@Englishman: 100% agreed!

A bad mariage/relationship is a prison for all!


Home / Life / Single mothers in Poland
BoldItalic [quote]
 
To post as Guest, enter a temporary username or login and post as a member.