Boletus , your joke was very funny .
The nature of Polish jokes?
Southern's perception of reality is correct. Vaginas indeed are everywhere around us. Self deception mechanisms that we fell prey to are disabling the rest of us to see them. Southern's is misunderstood for seeing the reality too clearly. No conflict with the reality there.
now, seriously, one of 10 cards used fro Rorschach test, 6th card is known as sex card among psychologists with psychoanalytical background. It really has a penis drawn (it is actually a stain, nothing was intentionally drawn on those cards) and a strong to vagina associated lines and rift. Curiously nobody sees penis or vagina, it is the censored association. Only if a colleague tests you, when censoring is down, then they can emerge.
People usually give socially desirable answer like spears, canyon, river, highways etc. The problem is not that they verbalize socially desirable answers, but that they see socially unsanctioned objects.
So, I prefer the ones who manage to break through the thick layer of kleinstadt morality and perceive more accurately ;)
now, seriously, one of 10 cards used fro Rorschach test, 6th card is known as sex card among psychologists with psychoanalytical background. It really has a penis drawn (it is actually a stain, nothing was intentionally drawn on those cards) and a strong to vagina associated lines and rift. Curiously nobody sees penis or vagina, it is the censored association. Only if a colleague tests you, when censoring is down, then they can emerge.
People usually give socially desirable answer like spears, canyon, river, highways etc. The problem is not that they verbalize socially desirable answers, but that they see socially unsanctioned objects.
So, I prefer the ones who manage to break through the thick layer of kleinstadt morality and perceive more accurately ;)
There's a vagina around me now :) I'm not complaining :) A Polish joke? Bronisław Komorowski :)
There's a vagina around me now :)
Of course Seanus, you see them too. Me too :((( But I have to complain, I prefer spears or totems over rifts.
We all have preferences. I think part of you likes sheaths. Which brings me to the thread. Aren't there any Polish jokes on sheaths? Pochwa is both sheath and vagina. Picza too :)
yes there is one joke that exploits the ambiguity - about two knights meeting with one having bad scars all over his face and body - are these from a sword - no, they are from a 'sheath'
Probably worth telling :)
Sean, i'll try to write you a joke about Ukrainian workers in Ireland - I only learned it yesterday and I an not a very good translator (my English is in fact fairly limited) but I'll try
Ok,
So a group of Ukrainian workers went to Ireland (must be illegally I don't know ;) )
a guy hired them to paint the exteriors of his countryside household - he bought the paint and stuff and left them to do the job
now the Ukrainian guys can't actually start a job while not having tasted some vodka before so they sell one bucket of the paint and bring in some booze
now after the first shots they got 'enthusiastic' about having more of the stuff - they went on to sell all the paint they had because they couldn't stop drinking and never really began to paint anything (say made a couple of strokes here and there) - they just have left some small bucket of the paint and when they notice that the owner is approaching in his car one of them makes a quick judgement, runs and paints the muzzle of a horse that the owner kept in his stable there with the paint that was left
the owner gets out of his car and asks the Ukrainian guys why they haven't actually started painting - they answer: it's because your horse has drunk all the paint - and they show him the horse - hearing this the Irish guy goes into the house, leaves with a shotgun, goes straight to shoot the horse - the Ukrainian guys are quite petrified with that and ask - Why did you kill the horse straight away? - The Irish guy says - The horse was no use, a couple of months ago I had a team of Polish builders - the horse had gobbled 10 packets of cement on the day they started the job
Ok,
So a group of Ukrainian workers went to Ireland (must be illegally I don't know ;) )
a guy hired them to paint the exteriors of his countryside household - he bought the paint and stuff and left them to do the job
now the Ukrainian guys can't actually start a job while not having tasted some vodka before so they sell one bucket of the paint and bring in some booze
now after the first shots they got 'enthusiastic' about having more of the stuff - they went on to sell all the paint they had because they couldn't stop drinking and never really began to paint anything (say made a couple of strokes here and there) - they just have left some small bucket of the paint and when they notice that the owner is approaching in his car one of them makes a quick judgement, runs and paints the muzzle of a horse that the owner kept in his stable there with the paint that was left
the owner gets out of his car and asks the Ukrainian guys why they haven't actually started painting - they answer: it's because your horse has drunk all the paint - and they show him the horse - hearing this the Irish guy goes into the house, leaves with a shotgun, goes straight to shoot the horse - the Ukrainian guys are quite petrified with that and ask - Why did you kill the horse straight away? - The Irish guy says - The horse was no use, a couple of months ago I had a team of Polish builders - the horse had gobbled 10 packets of cement on the day they started the job
That was very well told, gumi :) :) If you can't laugh at that, you can't laugh at very much :) :) Take a bow :)
Borderlands jokes
Colonel Wołłeyko is an archetypical hero of Bordelands jokes, a womanizer, a drunkard, a reveller, intelligent but with rough manners - something of the lesser image of General Bolesław Wieniawa-Długoszewski, who once said:
"Do I - a man with gray hair - have to teach you how to deal with women? Sir, one can find a woman crying, but to leave her such? Never!"
The expression: "Mebel pan zniszczysz a tonu i tak nie dobierzesz", derived from this joke, is quite popular in Polish.
P.S. When said in Polish, those jokes should be said in one of those charming Borderlands accents.
Colonel Wołłeyko is an archetypical hero of Bordelands jokes, a womanizer, a drunkard, a reveller, intelligent but with rough manners - something of the lesser image of General Bolesław Wieniawa-Długoszewski, who once said:
"Do I - a man with gray hair - have to teach you how to deal with women? Sir, one can find a woman crying, but to leave her such? Never!"
Colonel Wołłeyko is a guest of honour at the garrison commander's dinner party. While conversing with the hostess he suddenly let go with a gigantic fart. Embarrassed, he starts making noises by rubbing the leg of his chair with his shoe. The hostess says:
- Colonel, the furniture will get destroyed but the tone will be still out of tune.
- Colonel, the furniture will get destroyed but the tone will be still out of tune.
The expression: "Mebel pan zniszczysz a tonu i tak nie dobierzesz", derived from this joke, is quite popular in Polish.
Colonel Wołłeyko dances with young Sophie.
- Miss Sophie, here is a little riddle for you. What is it: red, orange, yellow, green, blue and purple?
- A rainbow, Colonel Sir - Sophie responds charmingly.
- Not true, an ass whipped with sticks!
- Miss Sophie, here is a little riddle for you. What is it: red, orange, yellow, green, blue and purple?
- A rainbow, Colonel Sir - Sophie responds charmingly.
- Not true, an ass whipped with sticks!
Colonel Wołłeyko converses with a young lady.
- Why, Miss Sophie, you have such a beautiful dress tonight.
- And did you ever, Sir Colonel, see anything ugly on me? - She puts all her charm on.
- Yes, only master forester one time.
- Why, Miss Sophie, you have such a beautiful dress tonight.
- And did you ever, Sir Colonel, see anything ugly on me? - She puts all her charm on.
- Yes, only master forester one time.
Colonel Wołłeyko, a known womanizer in the Borderlands, is hosted by the young officers in the officers' mess somewhere in a God forgotten garrison.
- Sir, how do you do that to be so successful with women?
- Oh, it's simple, I do everything step by step.
- ???
- Step one: I walk into a ballroom in style.
- Step two: I scrutinize the flock.
- Step three: I come up, I bow and I ask a lady to dance.
- Step four: I dance and I say: You have such beautiful eyes and I would like to fvck you very much.
- Sir, one might get slapped in the face for that!
- One might, but I more often fvck.
- Sir, how do you do that to be so successful with women?
- Oh, it's simple, I do everything step by step.
- ???
- Step one: I walk into a ballroom in style.
- Step two: I scrutinize the flock.
- Step three: I come up, I bow and I ask a lady to dance.
- Step four: I dance and I say: You have such beautiful eyes and I would like to fvck you very much.
- Sir, one might get slapped in the face for that!
- One might, but I more often fvck.
P.S. When said in Polish, those jokes should be said in one of those charming Borderlands accents.
MediaWatch 10 | 942
25 Oct 2015 #101
Merged: Polish Americans ask NBC President Stephen Burke to stop promoting Hitler/Nazi propaganda against Poles
On October 3, NBC-TV's "Saturday Night Live" had Colin Jost make a Nazi Anti-Polish "joke" the night before the NYC Pulaski Polish heritage parade.
He made a "joke" insinuating that Polish people have inferior/subhuman intelligence in using computers....which is absurd since Warsaw University students are highly competitive in the International IBM computer programming contest called the "Battle of the Brains".
The Polish American Congress (Anti-Bigotry Committee) asked NBC president Stephen Burke to review this Oct. 3 episode and to stop promoting Hitler theories and bigotry against Poles. Unfortunately....last night Oct. 24....NBC repeated this SNL anti-Polish episode again. So NBC President Stephen Burke is either an Anti-Polish Bigot or he doesn't mind the Nazi like Anti-Polish element at NBC continuing to bash Poles.
polishamericanreview.com/par2_027.htm
The origin of "Polish Jokes" is Nazi German propaganda....and NBC-TV had a large role in bringing this Nazi Anti-Polish propaganda into America and spreading it
polamjournal.com/Library/Fighting_Defamation/The_Origin_of_the_Polish_Joke/the_origin_of_the_polish_joke.html
Poles and people against ethnic bigotry should let NBC Universal president Stephen Burke know how they feel about this.
On October 3, NBC-TV's "Saturday Night Live" had Colin Jost make a Nazi Anti-Polish "joke" the night before the NYC Pulaski Polish heritage parade.
He made a "joke" insinuating that Polish people have inferior/subhuman intelligence in using computers....which is absurd since Warsaw University students are highly competitive in the International IBM computer programming contest called the "Battle of the Brains".
The Polish American Congress (Anti-Bigotry Committee) asked NBC president Stephen Burke to review this Oct. 3 episode and to stop promoting Hitler theories and bigotry against Poles. Unfortunately....last night Oct. 24....NBC repeated this SNL anti-Polish episode again. So NBC President Stephen Burke is either an Anti-Polish Bigot or he doesn't mind the Nazi like Anti-Polish element at NBC continuing to bash Poles.
polishamericanreview.com/par2_027.htm
The origin of "Polish Jokes" is Nazi German propaganda....and NBC-TV had a large role in bringing this Nazi Anti-Polish propaganda into America and spreading it
polamjournal.com/Library/Fighting_Defamation/The_Origin_of_the_Polish_Joke/the_origin_of_the_polish_joke.html
Poles and people against ethnic bigotry should let NBC Universal president Stephen Burke know how they feel about this.
delphiandomine 86 | 17823
25 Oct 2015 #102
MediaWatch is back! I missed this guy!
One joke hardly makes an entire show anti-Polish.
I assume you are frequently objecting to how other ethnicities and races are portrayed, right?
NBC repeated this SNL anti-Polish episode again
One joke hardly makes an entire show anti-Polish.
Poles and people against ethnic bigotry should let NBC Universal president Stephen Burke know how they feel about this.
I assume you are frequently objecting to how other ethnicities and races are portrayed, right?
how other ethnicities
Other ethnic groups (Jews, Negroes, Hispanics, Italians, etc.) in the US are actively combating bigotry and need no outside help. PolAms are less assertive by and large and too many of them prefer not to rock the boat and grin and bear it. Maybe they have fogotten (or never heard) the old American adage: it's the squeaking wheel that gets the grease!
Krzysztof68
25 Oct 2015 #104
Lets be honest with ourselves - there is not much to make fun of in the Polish character - we are stalwart fellows, imbued with honor, patriotism, love, humility and charity.
Other nations fall at our feet in humiliation when they see us walking towards them.
Other nations fall at our feet in humiliation when they see us walking towards them.
MediaWatch 10 | 942
26 Oct 2015 #105
Hi delphiandomine,
How's it going buddy?
I miss you too! :D
As for your question, if I am frequently objecting to how other ethnicities and races are portrayed......frankly I have not frequently objected to even to how Polish people are portrayed in the past several years, since you haven't really seen me post on these incidents in these recent years.
But if you can show me where other ethnicities and races are being portrayed badly.....let me know pal....and I will object to them.
Your buddy
MW
How's it going buddy?
I miss you too! :D
As for your question, if I am frequently objecting to how other ethnicities and races are portrayed......frankly I have not frequently objected to even to how Polish people are portrayed in the past several years, since you haven't really seen me post on these incidents in these recent years.
But if you can show me where other ethnicities and races are being portrayed badly.....let me know pal....and I will object to them.
Your buddy
MW
Borsukrates
6 Nov 2015 #106
Many polish jokes are made at the expense of other nations. Jokes about a Pole, a German and a Russian used to be very popular, with the Pole invariably being the smartest and the Russian the dumbest. I can't say how it is now, I don't follow jokes. Reading through joke compilations or threads is painful because you keep bumping into the same old jokes over and over.
Jokes
A pilot flying a small plane over Africa experiences mechanical problems and has to bail out by parachute. He lands in Caniballand and is walking through a native village when he sees a butcher's with a large sign: SPECIAL ON BRAINS TODAY! Intrigued he wanders in and sees a long refriegrated meat counter with the goods displayed behind glass: English brains £5.20 a pound, Italian brains £5.65 a lb, Polish brains £5.79 a lb, and Russian brains £55 a lb. He tells the butcher: "All the other brains are within a similar price range but the Russian brains are sky high. Are they really that good?" To which the butcher replies: "Hell, no, but do you know how many of those SOBs you gotta catch to get a pound of brains?!"
by the way... did you know that polish people call their salary "menstruation" ?
yes, it comes once per month and it only lasts for 3 days
yes, it comes once per month and it only lasts for 3 days
polish people
A passenger plane began experiencing mechanical problems and the captain told the passengers: "In order to make it to the nearest airport I have ordered the luggage and most of our fuel dumped but we still won't make it unless we lighten our load some more. In order to save the women nd children on board will any able-bodied males willing to make the supreme sacrifice please step forward. An American volunteers, opens the hatch, shouts "God bless America" and jumps. A Frenchman follows, shouts "Vive la France" and makes his exit. A Brit is next, shouts "God save the Queen" and takes the plunge. And finally a Pole comes foward, shouts "Jeszcze Polska nie zginęła" and pushes out a Russian.
A very drunk Celtic fan is hiding in a dark alleyway in Glasgow looking for a fight, a man's walking home through the alley, the Celtic fan jumps out and asks, ''hey jimmy, you a catholic or a protestant'' the man replies, a catholic, the Celtic fan bids him goodnight. 5 mins later a second man is walking home through the same alley, again the Celtic fan jumps out and asks, ''hey jimmy, you a catholic or a protestant'' the man replies, a catholic, again the Celtic fan bids him goodnight. 10 mins later a third man is walking home down the same alley, again the Celtic fan jumps out and asks, ''hey jimmy, you a catholic or a protestant, the man replies, I'm a Jew, the Celtic fan thinks for a minute and asks, OK, but are you a catholic Jew or a protestant Jew.
This post above represent the nature of Polish jokes?
This post above represent the nature of Polish jokes?
Some jokes are based on black humour which is sometimes nasty. E..g, the latest article about a search for a venomous snake in a block of flats in a German city. German police are planning to use gas to kill the run-away cobra. A commenter asks a question: Guess which gas are Germans going to use?
fakty.interia.pl/swiat/news-niemcy-jadowita-kobra-uciekla-z-hodowli-ewakuowano-blok-waz-,nId,3174420
fakty.interia.pl/swiat/news-niemcy-jadowita-kobra-uciekla-z-hodowli-ewakuowano-blok-waz-,nId,3174420
Don't know if the following applies as "Polish" humor, but I read it in Rzeczpospolita recently and found it amusing, so much so in fact, that I was heard chortling a few chuckles on the bus the other day alongside total strangers!
Boss: Ms. Teresa! As you know, we are a business, and as such begin the business day ON TIME! Are you aware, Ms. Teresa, that we begin work at 9:00 sharp?
Teresa: No, I wasn't. By the time I arrive at the office, there are already people working.
Boss: Ms. Teresa! As you know, we are a business, and as such begin the business day ON TIME! Are you aware, Ms. Teresa, that we begin work at 9:00 sharp?
Teresa: No, I wasn't. By the time I arrive at the office, there are already people working.
@pawian #111
They caught this cobra by laying out the whole apartment with sticky tape.
They caught this cobra by laying out the whole apartment with sticky tape.
Polish humor is not considered funny by other nationalities
BS. I'm reading some top quality jokes here. Structure and substance very similar to how Russian jokes are crafted.
All you Western haters just don't get it. It's your jokes that are stupid, while ours are brilliant.
All you Western haters
As far as I remember southern is Serbian lol (but like every Serbian guy on the this forum - not quite right in the head ;D)
Just like The Russians on this forum.....I can see why Serbs and Russians get along so well!!!! Hahahaha!
Merged:
The first Polish joke I ever heard was told to me by an uncle, when I was about 10 years old.
And had to be explained to me because I was too young to understand.It was a dark humour Communist period joke and went like this;
A Polish dog goes to the Polish border with Czechoslovakia and meets a Czech dog coming the other way....The Polish dog asks the Czech dog why is he coming to Poland.
The Czech dog replies.
"Because in Poland you have meat".
Then the Czech dog asks the Polish dog why he is going to Czechoslovakia.
And the Polish dog replies "Because in Czechoslovakia I can bark!"
Polish humour,as with all nations ,changes over time and Poles no longer laugh at Polish peasants or Jews.As they used to.
They also laugh less at Germans and Americans as they used to,partly because of all the help both those nations have given to Poland.
Interestingly enough I have never heard any Polish jokes about the British.
The main targets these days seem to be politicians,The Police and Priests(But not religion)
And Russians.......all over the world, people like to mock their fears,and Russians,scare Poles.....with good reason!
So Poles like to mock Russians for their stupidity.....
This is an old joke but recently adapted;
Two Russian pilots were coming into land on an airfield....at the last moment,the chief pilot pulled up and soared up into the sky.
He turned to his co pilot and said "Wow! That was close!Did you see how short the runway was?"
The co pilot replied "Yeah! And did you see how wide it was?"
In these times we need humour,I know that some Polish jokes may be a bit difficult to translate to English, but do your best and let's have some fun!
Polish Humour and Polish Jokes.
The first Polish joke I ever heard was told to me by an uncle, when I was about 10 years old.
And had to be explained to me because I was too young to understand.It was a dark humour Communist period joke and went like this;
A Polish dog goes to the Polish border with Czechoslovakia and meets a Czech dog coming the other way....The Polish dog asks the Czech dog why is he coming to Poland.
The Czech dog replies.
"Because in Poland you have meat".
Then the Czech dog asks the Polish dog why he is going to Czechoslovakia.
And the Polish dog replies "Because in Czechoslovakia I can bark!"
Polish humour,as with all nations ,changes over time and Poles no longer laugh at Polish peasants or Jews.As they used to.
They also laugh less at Germans and Americans as they used to,partly because of all the help both those nations have given to Poland.
Interestingly enough I have never heard any Polish jokes about the British.
The main targets these days seem to be politicians,The Police and Priests(But not religion)
And Russians.......all over the world, people like to mock their fears,and Russians,scare Poles.....with good reason!
So Poles like to mock Russians for their stupidity.....
This is an old joke but recently adapted;
Two Russian pilots were coming into land on an airfield....at the last moment,the chief pilot pulled up and soared up into the sky.
He turned to his co pilot and said "Wow! That was close!Did you see how short the runway was?"
The co pilot replied "Yeah! And did you see how wide it was?"
In these times we need humour,I know that some Polish jokes may be a bit difficult to translate to English, but do your best and let's have some fun!
The first one's a hoot, Milo!
Many thanks for sharing.
Many thanks for sharing.
in Poland you have meat".
in Czechoslovakia I can bark!"
in Czechoslovakia I can bark!"
I think you have it backward... in general in PRL times Czechoslovakia was significantly better off materially but more repressive than Poland.
Poles no longer laugh at Polish peasants or Jews.As they used to.
You can still buy books of jokes about Jewish people in some kiosks. The publisher was fortunately prosecuted (and checked himself into a mental hospital to avoid punishment) however some of the stock is still on sale.