Guest
4 Jan 2017 #1
Hello
I need some serious advice.
Almost 7 years after the death of my son and loss of my family.
I was lucky to meet a lovely Polish lady working in the Nederlands on a dating site.
I am on disability benefit with is almost the same as unemployment benefit.
I fell in love and we met regulary weekends.
She made it clear she lives all her life with her mother and it her last chance in life to have a child and to find happiness.
And would love to live in holland with me and have a child with me.
Within a short time my ex was pregnant and wanted to give birth in Poland.
So I drove her back to poland and was present at the birth and I felt very happy.
Although my ex did not want my name on the birth certificate as she said better for her at this moment as she has financial problems and I could always do it later when she returns to Holland.
So during her time in poland i travelled constantly by bus to be with my daughter and my ex.
The weeks turned into months and the endless excuses of returning to holland began to look like lies.
Excuses from holland is to cold I come summer.
My car is to old.
Grandma is old.
Why should I return to holland when I have a house for free here and my father say if I stay in poland to take care of him in older life
I will be rewarded.
I do not want to walk I want to stay at home until child is 5.
As long as you pay for child you can always see and I will visit holland for vacation.
I felt my world was turned upside down.... a waiting game without any answers.
Almost 3 years past and constantly driving to poland until 1 day I drove for a surprise visit and she was with another man.
At this moment her attitude changed totally brutal and nasty and only a interest for money and emotional blackmail.
Almost 1 year later my own family or mother in the UK have never seen my lovely daughter.
And the only conditons I have is what she demands off me to bring to Poland then I can see my daughter.
When I come emptied handed I am turned away or have to sleep in my car or bed and breakfast.
My daughter is 4 and obviously loves me we have skype contact often and she is begging me to come to see her or to visit her papa.
I am not allowed to unless my ex says I can or what mood she is in.
This christmas I was told not to come... and New years eve I was told not to come. So I sat in Holland feeling quite disappointed.
When I ask why am I not allowed to visit my ex says because I say so I say when you come not you.
I said but my daughter wants me to come. My ex says daughter can say everything until she is 18 I make the rules and if you not like it
just stay out our lives.
I am often blocked on skype or watsapp or her phone.
I call with the off chance my daughter answers and sometimes she does and again ask me please come papa please come to see me.
Same rules apply No Money No Daughter no pay stay in Holland.
My cost to Poland are expensive and to pay child support is also difficult being on disabiltly allowance.
I have seen lawyers and they say this is a bad situation.
I think there is nothing you can do when a father has no money or name on document you have zero chance it is seen as a bad father.
I said some men have there name on the documents and never visit there children.
I am 1200 km away and already in 5 years I am 38 times to Poland.
I feel doomed really doomed. My ex has total control and she knows can do nothing and profits from my disposition.
She has admitted to me she never loved me that she thought having a child would make the love grow.
I feel totally gutted. I wish I could be the father I want to be and its not possible.
I wish my own mother could see my daughter its not possible.
Only I can see my daughter when I visit with her conditions and payment.
My ex will not discuss anything no conditions only her own financial needs. She says I am not here to talk to you beter you talk to the wall when you want to talk to me.
Child can make her own mind up when she is 18. So carry on driving from holland or do not come at all not my problem.
Still you will have to pay for your child.
A few months ago I turned up with a red tractor and clothes for my daughter she wanted a red tractor.
I was told by the mother you are a idiot you have a girl not a boy have tractor go away idiot.
My daughter was left crying for papa ;(
Totally no respect for me total nothing.
She laughs in my face and says when you go to lawyer and tell him you have disability allowance he will laugh at you,
In Poland when you have 2 arms and legs you have to work.
In Poland when father has no money he has no rights to see child. Welcome to poland she said.
Belucky I not go to lawyer myself she said and make you do DNA TEST and make you pay.
When you make trouble for me I will do this she said and then you will never see your daughter again.
I feel I am in a disposition I am on disabilty benefit and 1200 km away :(
And my ex knows this !!
Any good advice?????
My daughter speaks really good english and I am so proud of her.
When I am in poland I often walk her to school with the mother and she shouts this is my papa.
The mother does not like this as she wants to be soon as a independant mother living alone with grandma.
Its a painful situation and I feel sorry for my daughter who has to here the mother screaming at me constantly on skype.
Only when I pay can I visit and only when my ex says sometimes I drive 2400 km in 3 days or I am left sitting in a bed and breakfast waiting until the mother lets me see my daughter.
I do support my daughter the best I can and my family send clothes although they are not allowed to see my daughter which is sad.
Its like my daughter is a meal ticket and in return I have only skype and phone when she wants it.
I need some serious advice.
Almost 7 years after the death of my son and loss of my family.
I was lucky to meet a lovely Polish lady working in the Nederlands on a dating site.
I am on disability benefit with is almost the same as unemployment benefit.
I fell in love and we met regulary weekends.
She made it clear she lives all her life with her mother and it her last chance in life to have a child and to find happiness.
And would love to live in holland with me and have a child with me.
Within a short time my ex was pregnant and wanted to give birth in Poland.
So I drove her back to poland and was present at the birth and I felt very happy.
Although my ex did not want my name on the birth certificate as she said better for her at this moment as she has financial problems and I could always do it later when she returns to Holland.
So during her time in poland i travelled constantly by bus to be with my daughter and my ex.
The weeks turned into months and the endless excuses of returning to holland began to look like lies.
Excuses from holland is to cold I come summer.
My car is to old.
Grandma is old.
Why should I return to holland when I have a house for free here and my father say if I stay in poland to take care of him in older life
I will be rewarded.
I do not want to walk I want to stay at home until child is 5.
As long as you pay for child you can always see and I will visit holland for vacation.
I felt my world was turned upside down.... a waiting game without any answers.
Almost 3 years past and constantly driving to poland until 1 day I drove for a surprise visit and she was with another man.
At this moment her attitude changed totally brutal and nasty and only a interest for money and emotional blackmail.
Almost 1 year later my own family or mother in the UK have never seen my lovely daughter.
And the only conditons I have is what she demands off me to bring to Poland then I can see my daughter.
When I come emptied handed I am turned away or have to sleep in my car or bed and breakfast.
My daughter is 4 and obviously loves me we have skype contact often and she is begging me to come to see her or to visit her papa.
I am not allowed to unless my ex says I can or what mood she is in.
This christmas I was told not to come... and New years eve I was told not to come. So I sat in Holland feeling quite disappointed.
When I ask why am I not allowed to visit my ex says because I say so I say when you come not you.
I said but my daughter wants me to come. My ex says daughter can say everything until she is 18 I make the rules and if you not like it
just stay out our lives.
I am often blocked on skype or watsapp or her phone.
I call with the off chance my daughter answers and sometimes she does and again ask me please come papa please come to see me.
Same rules apply No Money No Daughter no pay stay in Holland.
My cost to Poland are expensive and to pay child support is also difficult being on disabiltly allowance.
I have seen lawyers and they say this is a bad situation.
I think there is nothing you can do when a father has no money or name on document you have zero chance it is seen as a bad father.
I said some men have there name on the documents and never visit there children.
I am 1200 km away and already in 5 years I am 38 times to Poland.
I feel doomed really doomed. My ex has total control and she knows can do nothing and profits from my disposition.
She has admitted to me she never loved me that she thought having a child would make the love grow.
I feel totally gutted. I wish I could be the father I want to be and its not possible.
I wish my own mother could see my daughter its not possible.
Only I can see my daughter when I visit with her conditions and payment.
My ex will not discuss anything no conditions only her own financial needs. She says I am not here to talk to you beter you talk to the wall when you want to talk to me.
Child can make her own mind up when she is 18. So carry on driving from holland or do not come at all not my problem.
Still you will have to pay for your child.
A few months ago I turned up with a red tractor and clothes for my daughter she wanted a red tractor.
I was told by the mother you are a idiot you have a girl not a boy have tractor go away idiot.
My daughter was left crying for papa ;(
Totally no respect for me total nothing.
She laughs in my face and says when you go to lawyer and tell him you have disability allowance he will laugh at you,
In Poland when you have 2 arms and legs you have to work.
In Poland when father has no money he has no rights to see child. Welcome to poland she said.
Belucky I not go to lawyer myself she said and make you do DNA TEST and make you pay.
When you make trouble for me I will do this she said and then you will never see your daughter again.
I feel I am in a disposition I am on disabilty benefit and 1200 km away :(
And my ex knows this !!
Any good advice?????
My daughter speaks really good english and I am so proud of her.
When I am in poland I often walk her to school with the mother and she shouts this is my papa.
The mother does not like this as she wants to be soon as a independant mother living alone with grandma.
Its a painful situation and I feel sorry for my daughter who has to here the mother screaming at me constantly on skype.
Only when I pay can I visit and only when my ex says sometimes I drive 2400 km in 3 days or I am left sitting in a bed and breakfast waiting until the mother lets me see my daughter.
I do support my daughter the best I can and my family send clothes although they are not allowed to see my daughter which is sad.
Its like my daughter is a meal ticket and in return I have only skype and phone when she wants it.