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Complicated story child birth surname issue


desperate
25 Aug 2023 #1
Hello,

so, the relationship I had with a woman resulted in her becoming pregnant. Unfortunately, despite all my attempts she did all possible to kick me out of her life (including insulting me on a daily basis, and so on). Now, in a normal circumstances I would simply leave, but there is a baby, which I do not want to lose and I am openminded

to even be a part-time father, alimony, etc...

Now the issue is that she is trying to cut me out, and even explicitly said that she will not put my name in the birth certificate.

I just contacted a lawyer, about it but it might be too late. Should I act before the baby is born (most likely next week)? Or if she does not put my name and we go to court and I prove to be the father (DNA, etc) even few weeks after ther birth will they at least put my surname?

It has been already a nightmare to deal with a woman treating you like **** for months, then knowing that I will have probably limited access to the kid, she will put proably the first name without consulting with me,

now even knowing that not even my surname will be there.
Her argument is that she will cut me off from all medical visits, and she needs to have the same surname of the child?

Can the law at least accept compromises like double surname "FirstName hers-mine Surname"?

Thanks for your time
Alien 20 | 5,205
25 Aug 2023 #2
Thanks for your time

Are any of you from Poland or have any connections with Poland?
OP desperate
25 Aug 2023 #3
I am Italian citizen living in Poland (official residence), the child will be born in Poland. The mother is Ukrainian resident officially in Poland.
Paulina 16 | 4,446
25 Aug 2023 #4
I just contacted a lawyer, about it but it might be too late. Should I act before the baby is born (most likely next week)?

To be honest, I doubt that people on an internet forum (especially that this one isn't very busy/frequented) can tell you more than a lawyer would...

Apparently there are NGOs in Poland helping men to execute their father rights, so maybe try contacting one of those, because I personally don't know how this stuff works...

Btw, are you sure it's your child? Because she's acting weird... Did you do something to make her want to kick you out of her life and insult you on daily basis or is she mentally unstable/toxic?
Paulina 16 | 4,446
25 Aug 2023 #5
@desperate, I did some googling and this is what I found:

adwokatmalecka.pl/blog/uznanie-czy-ustalenie-ojcostwa/

I just contacted a lawyer, about it but it might be too late. Should I act before the baby is born (most likely next week)?

No, it's not too late, actually - quite the opposite. You can take this to court, but only after the child is born. The court will order DNA paternity test.

The lawyer didn't tell you that?
OP desperate
26 Aug 2023 #6
I haven't met the lawyer yet, and there might be further delay as people are still on vacation, that's why I am reaching out here. Yes, DNA test will be the next step.

"mentally unstable/toxic" is an euphemism, I am seriously concerned on the interaction mother-child (which the law will protect nevertheless), but let's take one challenge at time.


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