Real Estate / Moving to the Katowice area soon! Safe neighborhood for an Irish man? [38]

She's not really asking about anything. She's just trying to make her minimum number of required posts so that she can use the PM function. I mean I don't think that running enterprise events as her hubby does, would qualify him to be vice president of a bank. It's Poland - not Dijibouti :))

Love / Urgent Relationship help - wife wants to stay in Poland [118]


The term 'Bunreacht' na hÉireann might might be a bit confusing for our non-Irish friends Ted and let's be honest, even for a few of the Irish ones ;) I too get what you're saying. Obviously Ireland's legal system is not identical to the Brits but there are very important elements of it which do not exist in cvil law, in particular the old thing of precedent which is hugely influential in Irish court decisions. Irish law remains, due to its common law influences, far more flexible than cvil law.


I would disagree that Ireland was ever a third world country Towarzysz but never mind that. I'm not saying the two countries are literally the same. I'm saying that Poland is still in a state of post-colonial reform. One area where they are the same is the shocking overcrowding in living conditions. Think back to the Dublin tenements of the 1950s and that's the picture. I know one family with four kids living in a one room flat, 400 square feet. They actually have five kids but the oldest one has to live with his grandparents because they literally can't squeeze him in. Now that's as bad as it was in Warsaw before the second world war. That's a local authority flat by the way, assigned to them by the council. And as you know yourself people rummaging through bins for food is a common sight here. They're not all homeless either.


One of the big differences between Ireland and Poland is the lack of a social conscience or compassion for your fellow man. Irish people whatever their faults tend to be quick to sympathise and empathise and quick to reach out. Poles are not and that's reflected in their social policies. Also in Ireland, long before the welfare state, there was a long history of initiatives to help the poor, right down to stuff like the Penny Dinners which are still running today.


Yes there are of course but.....again Towzrzysz you're judging it by Irish standards. Things we would consider unacceptable in Ireland and requiring intervention are met in Poland with a shrug of the shoulders. Where visitation rights are concerned for non-custodial parents, the law exists on paper that they have rights but there is no satisfactory way in Poland of enforcing those rights and bear in mind that's in a country which has had divorce for decades. It's one of the things that family law experts are constantly complaining about and saying needs reform:

"The enforcement of visitation rights of the non-custodial parent also needs reform as the current remedies for custodial interference are not effective".

but the wheels turn very slowly in Poland.

Food / Making American cheeses (Polish and EU ones are terrible!) [100]


Are you sure you can't find it? As Dolno says it's called 'kolendra' in Poland (coriander in English). Both the fresh herb and the dried coriander seeds in packets are widely available in Warsaw anyway.

Love / Urgent Relationship help - wife wants to stay in Poland [118]

Towarzysz Poland is a completely different society to Ireland. You must remember that Communism ended less than thirty years ago and that's a very short time in the history of a nation. Imagine Ireland thirty years after the War of Independence, so early 1950s............

Poland has been in the EU less than fifteen years and although that has made some difference, there is still a lot to do in the way of reforms and dismantling the old systems left in place from the Communist days. It's a post-Communist society. The legal system is based on Roman law, not on Common Law which we have in Ireland and which we inheritied from the Brits. Say what you like about them but they left us with a bascially sound infracstructure which supported the development of a modern democracy. Poland didn't have that luxury.

Work / Polish / Irish couple with kids moving to Warsaw - finding a job without any connections. [37]

Annitta would you not get your husband to contact the Irish Polish Chamber of Commerce in Dublin? irishpolish.pl

It would be a start at making some contacts and they may at least have some suggestions. You may need to put a bit of groundwork into this process for a year or so, building a network like Dominic says. Your husband sounds like a very energetic guy who will need to be active, definitely not ready for early retirement. This is really going to be your biggest challenge, you will probably settle down ok though you will miss certain things about Ireland that you've come to take for granted over the years you've been there. It's a much 'easier' place to live than Poland in a myriad of ways. Your kids will be fine, though the older one may take a few months to settle.

I would agree with the other posters about the Polish language. How much Polish does your husband have now? Even if you think he doesn't need it professionally, he will still need it in his personal life and for day to day encounters. Although many more people speak English in Poland these days, it's by no means everyone and the amount of English they speak varies greatly. You don't want to see him in a position where his ten year old daughter needs to accompany him to the post office or bank because he only has basic phrase book Polish or he can't make a phone call to query his gas bill and has to wait for you to come home and do it.

News / Poland's post-election political scene [4080]

The government has direct control over national broadcasters having the power to appoint and dismiss heads of radio and tv stations. State agencies have been ordered to cancel their subscriptions to publications which are crticial of the government. The government shouldn't have any hand, act or part in the press. It should be independent of government input. It's all a bit silly and pointless really as you can never silence voices of dissent as the world has seen time and time again. Also as Poland is not a one party state it's inevitable that at some point the present government will be ousted and all this nonsense will be undone. However I suppose the daft idea is that if they can stay in power for long enough, they can use these measures to brainwash the greater public into thinking that everything in the Polish garden is rosy so they'll get re-elected and the nonsense will carry on.

Work / English childcare in Poland? Other work opportunities? [6]

If you're going down the English teaching route, there's a chain of kindergartens called Helen Doron which focus on pre-school education through English. They're pretty much always recruiting. Basically it's a franchise so the quality of the schools depends on the individual running it. They expect you to work pretty hard (quite a bit of out of school hours lesson planning etc) and they don't pay that well, but it would be a start for you. Do you have a full degree in Early Childhood Care and Education? As for teaching English to adults, you really need qualifications for that if you want to teach in a language school. You can do TEFL training and get your teacher's cert in Poland at the British Council but it will cost you a few thousand zloty. Once you've got that you can do the Young Learners diploma which would qualify you to teach English to children.

News / Poland's post-election political scene [4080]

Yes Ziemowit I'm pretty sure it's Meddling Minnie who's responsible for it.

Here's the index:

rsf.org/en/ranking

I didn't go rummaging for it in order to discredit Poland! I just saw a newsfeed somewhere that said Ireland had dropped out of the top ten and then thought to myself 'Oh I wonder how Poland is ranked?'

Work / Polish / Irish couple with kids moving to Warsaw - finding a job without any connections. [37]


Ah yes, Irish weather, the four seasons in one day. The rain, the relentless wind which is always, always in your face no matter what direction you walk in! And the Irish summer when you forget about the picnic you planned, put on a nice warm woolly and shiver all day watching the downpour from a leaden sky 'I think the sky is looking a bit clearer over there, I think it's easing off a bit, sure it might clear up yet' and then at five o'clock in the evening when the day is nearly over, the sun starts shining.

Bottom line is that no matter how much one tries to figure out the practial pros and cons of where to live, in the end it comes down to where you feel right. It's a decision that ultimately you'll probably end up making with your heart and not your head.

@ Dominic, a Renaissance man, now what about fencing and water colour painting??!

News / Poland's post-election political scene [4080]


Speaking of newspapers I see that Poland has fallen seven places in the global freedom of the press index and now occupies position number 54 lagging behind Tonga, Burkina Faso and Haiti amongst others!

Work / Polish / Irish couple with kids moving to Warsaw - finding a job without any connections. [37]

Thanks Dominic, you gave me a laugh out loud moment and I don't get many of those on this forum! I would add that the Montessori maths curriculum for all children aged three to twelve, together with the materials should be introduced in all schools immediately. I hated maths at school and it was only when I trained as a Montessori teacher that I saw the beauty, perfection and inherent simplicity of maths.

Work / Polish / Irish couple with kids moving to Warsaw - finding a job without any connections. [37]


But the plan is to use part of that money to build a house in Warsaw. The problem with counting a family home as an asset is that we all have to live in it so therefore unless we sell it and downsize, the money is tied up.


There has been some concern expressed in Ireland about Polish children spending their Saturdays at Polish schools, often doing extra school work in the form of the Polish curriculum, instead of getting involved in community activities/sports etc.

Something that I find a bit telling is that Annitta hasn't succeeded, nor indeed has her daughter, in making any close friends in the Polish community with whom they've had plenty of contact.


I would be cautious about that. That entails going down the 'extra work' with a private tutor route during time better spent in social activities and developing oneself in other directions. With respect Dominic you have an outsized B in your bonnet regarding maths. A ten year old shoudn't be doing extra maths work in the evenings or at weekends - not unless they have an inherent interest in the subject and actually want to do it. That's a very different matter.

Work / Polish / Irish couple with kids moving to Warsaw - finding a job without any connections. [37]


You've picked up the Irish attitude there I see :)) Savings are always a concern. Have you cleared the mortgages on both houses?


That's the case in Warsaw too Annitta. There are many affluent Polish families nowadays who are very gadget obsessesd, image conscious etc and their kids are being raised that way.


I get what you're sayng Annitta but there are loads of kids who are not like that and this I know from experience. If your daughter was in something like GAA at weekends she'd be mixing with a very different type of child. What's her involvement in sports, Guides/orienteering, that sort of thing? Music? Choir, childrens' orchestra? Is she interested in science, maths, computing. There are lots of camps/events where she would meet a diverse group of children who are interested in more than make-up.


If you want two houses and a fat bank balance, life tends to become hectic. Just saying Annitta that sometimes our problems are of our own making to a degree.



So what you're saying is that you have no friends.


And now your daughter is repeating the pattern. That's something to reflect on. How has that come about both for you and for her? Your husband also is emotionally distanced from his family which is unusual in Ireland.

Just be careful that you don't present the move to Poland to your daughter as some magical panacea that will solve all her problems, and that she'll have friends and everything will be great. If she's already struggling socially she may well find it harder than either of you imagine to settle in a new school. I notice you're talking about sending her to a private international school. As she speaks Polish why not send her to the school where her cousins are? Also the remarks I made about the academic side of things still stand. Your daughter will have the added pressure and struggle of adjusting to a new school system and curriculum.


Why do you consider Warsaw 'safer' for your children than suburban Dublin?

Bascially you're miserable, lonely and homesick and the nice house and the money doesn't make up for it. But by moving you will be swapping one set of challenges for another so think very carefully before you make a final decision.

Love / Urgent Relationship help - wife wants to stay in Poland [118]


There is no way she will be awarded that amount. I took a quick look at the EU E-Justice portal on the recently updated page for Poland and it says that the amount of maintenance per child is generally 300-1000 PLN per month. I imagine that with you having a high salary by Polish standards the amount awarded could be nearer 1500 per child but certainly not much more than that. As Dominic says, don't discuss maintenance at all with her. Take a solictor's advice as to how much you should pay for the moment while awaiting divorce proceedings.

Work / Polish / Irish couple with kids moving to Warsaw - finding a job without any connections. [37]


Better weather is a very flimsy reason to uproot yourself and your family.


Yes, that's understandable but what about your husband's family and his friends of a lifetime. He wouldn't have them nearby. That's the problem when you're from two different countries, there's always that element of compromise.


Wow! What can I say? It's not a question of being open-minded. A ten year old, no matter how intelligent or sensible she is, is not mature enough to realise the implications of such a move. The idea of it may appeal greatly to an adventurous child especially if she's had wonderful holidays in Poland but you are the adult and the children depend on you to make the decisions that are best for them. If you were staying in Ireland, would you take her out of the school she now attends, simply for the sake of a change? If the answer is no, then why is that? Just ask yourself that question now Annitta. Why not send your daughter to a new school in September?


You have that now.

The only good reason to move is if you're worried about your parents and want to be there for them as they get older. That I could completely understand and sympathise with. But that could wait for a year or two until your daughter is finished primary school. Anyway, how does your husband feel about it? Dominic B's comments about his employment prospects are spot on.

Love / Urgent Relationship help - wife wants to stay in Poland [118]


The phrase is really 'parental authority'. It includes things like decisions regarding your childrens' education, religious upbringing etc. When you get divorced in Poland, the parents don't have equal parental authority. The non-custodial parent has a limited amount of parental authority. Sometimes ex-wives who want to cut the father out of the child's life as much as possible make it difficult for the father to see the child or have contact with them and then apply to the courts to have the father's already limited parental authority removed completely on the grounds that he takes no interest in the child. This is a well recognised problem which is a cause for concern and frequently written about by legal experts when discussing the need for reforms in Polish family law. One of the main problems for non-custodial parents (which is usually the father) is that there's no satisfactory system in place to enforce visitation rights. That makes it especially hard for fathers who live abroad.

Love / English proposing to a Polish lady [31]


God give me patience.Use your eyes. Look in her jewellery box you daft moo. If I asked you 'what's your girlfriend's favourite colour' and being a typical man you hadn't a clue, how could you work it out? Open the wardrobe and look at her clothes - ooh, lots of blue.............get the idea? Seriously though, if a woman doesn't have a jewellery box or hardly ever wears any, there's your clue that she won't like a big flashy ring. So you'd get her something simple. You've very young aren't you? You said twenty or something, don't worry, as Bishop Brennan would say 'it'll come to you, it'll come to you' :))

Work / Polish / Irish couple with kids moving to Warsaw - finding a job without any connections. [37]

Sorry but this sounds like the old 'much wants more' story. We all know how that worked out for Irish people during the so-called Celtic Tiger. You have a decent living in Ireland but you see the carrot dangling before you that you can have the same income in Poland and you're thinking how much richer you'll be in real terms because the cost of living in Poland is lower. However if you've spent much time in Poland lately you'll know that prices here are comparable to Ireland for many items and it's getting more expensive all the time. Plus the Polish state doesn't subsidise its people in the way that Ireland does. I'm not just talking about the welfare state but take your husband's job for example. Such a role exists in Ireland because a vast amount of state money is invested in encouraging start-ups and enterprise. Even if your husband doesn't work for a state body, the job is there because of them, if you get my drift.

Putting that aside however as a teacher I would advise strongly against disrupting the education of your older child and taking them out of an Irish primary school to send them to a private international school in Warsaw with a completely different curriculum and quite possbily, depending on the school, half-baked standards and poorly qualified teachers. Your child is probably in fourth class at the moment due to go into fifth in September? Let her finish the two years and have the milestone of graduating from primary school with her friends, saying goodbye when they do, not wrenching her from the familiar when there's no actual need to. For her academic and psychological well being that's the best route to take. By then your younger child will be coming up to the age when they start school in Poland so if you must make a move then would be the time to do it. This job opportunity for you is not a one-off. There will be plenty of others.

Love / Urgent Relationship help - wife wants to stay in Poland [118]

Lawyers are the same the world over but the law isn't. For example in Ireland there is no such thing as community property so obviously divorce proceedings in Ireland would be very different to an American state where such a concept exists.

Love / Urgent Relationship help - wife wants to stay in Poland [118]


Sadly Brtiboy, absolutely futile. There's no way that will happen, even if you lived in Poland.

@Dominic, I think you're looking at things from a very American perspective. Poland is not the USA and the legal system is completely different. Also if the OP doesn't have any contact with his wife he won't be able to even speak to his children for many months, let alone see them. That won't impress a Polish judge, especially with him being a 'foreigner'. They can quite easily interpret that as abandonment of a kind particulary if he also ends all financial support. However I do agree with you that he should certainly take legal advice.

@Britboy, you should be able to find a UK lawyer who has experience of Polish divorces. That's what you'll need. Find one as quickly as possible so that you can get advice as to what you should do regarding financial support etc whilst in the process of filing.

Love / Urgent Relationship help - wife wants to stay in Poland [118]

Well, if you do that, her lawyer will probably advise her to say that her adultery was a result of you choosing to live apart from her so the whole thing can get very messy, tit for tat, blaming etc. Mentioning her adutlery in court will probably anger and embarrass her which won't help when trying to negotiate your contact with the children. So you'll have to weigh all that up. It's best to feel your way cautiously at this stage and see if she's prepared to be on good terms with you during negotiations. Don't make any hasty decisions.

Love / Urgent Relationship help - wife wants to stay in Poland [118]

Thanks for the update Britboy. Very sorry to hear about 'the other man' but glad to know you've reached a conclusion. But now you know the real reason she didn't want to join you in the UK. Once you get over the initial relief of making a decision about ending your marriage, you may start reflecting on what's happened and start to feel quite angry so be prepared to go through that stage. It is kind of like a bereavement, shock, denial, anger, etc. Just try to put it behind you and keep focusing on moving forward into the future with your kids very much to the forefront of your thoughts.

Just a word of warning. Don't admit any fault on your part as grounds for divorce. She might want to use you being in the UK and refusing to live in Poland with her as grounds. If you admit fault you are liable to support her financially for the rest of her life, unless she remarries, so in theory she could live with a guy and still on paper be indefinitely entitled to your financial support. I know it's probably highly unlikely that would happen but it is the law at the present time to the best of my knowledge. You can divorce without any grounds, just as a mutual decision that the marriage is over, so go for that option.

Wishing you all the best.

Life / Polish water safe to drink? [50]

Yes, that's true. My own husband won't touch tap water even at home, though all the pipes in our building were renewed about three years ago. He's a Muszynianka man :) Comparing the EU reports on Poland and Ireland I noticed that although Ireland has a higher instance of 'emergencies' (because of the rural contamination issues from slurry pits etc) Poland has a much higher rate of remedial actions required in a given year. Unfortunately the Polish report didn't state the overall level of compliance with regulations/standards. Ireland had 99.9% for 2011 and 2012 and 100% for 2013. And yet as I say, drinking water is not always 'safe' there in rural areas. The main thing, as you say Jon is for the information to be made public and for people to be made aware and put on a 'boil' notice. I'm not sure if they do that in Poland.

Work / Portuguese Speaker considering a costumer service position in Poznan. [11]


That's a bit of a disappointing attitude coming from an Irishman, especially one who seems to fly the Nationalist 'look what the Brits did to us' flag. It does matter whether or not you spell words correctly in somebody else's language. At best it's careless, at worst it's can't be bothered which is very disrespectful. I don't like seeing Irish words spelled minus the fada. The fada changes the sound of the word, it's there for a reason. Same thing with Polish. Having said that I wouldn't have a go at a foreigner for making a mistake and putting the fada in the wrong place. At least they're making an effort so I agree that Ziemowit was bit snippy with the OP about the spelling but we all have our moments ;)

Life / Polish water safe to drink? [50]


Not necessarily. You can have varying quality of water even in an EU country. It's not likely to give you typhoid or anything extreme but in a rural area for example you could have water compromised by fecal matter from septic tanks or as people have said contaminated by old pipes. I saw an article from a Conde Nast travel guide which gave a list of countries where water is safe to drink. Poland was on it, but so was Ireland and although the water is safe to drink as a rule in Ireland, there are frequent 'boil' notices issued by the Department of Health for some rural areas because the private well water supplies can be contaminated by agricultural slurry. It happens for example during very wet weather which we get rather a lot of! Yet Ireland has 100% compliance with EU standards. Point is being an EU country doesn't necessarily mean that the water is completely safe at all times. That's a work in progress. The EU tests it every three years and then produces a report. Here's the latest ones for each member state available on their site for 2011-2013. If you take a look at the one for Poland you will see that though the water is largely safe there is still some work to do. If you go to the section entitled Causes for Non-compliance and Remedial Actions, you will see that there were instances of non-compliance with standards which required treatment:

ec.europa.eu/environment/water/water-drink/reporting_en.html

Love / English proposing to a Polish lady [31]

Ok, here's a woman's advice. Use your common sense. Your main concern should be getting a ring that your future wife will be happy wearing every day for the rest of her life. Obviously you want to get something of decent quality but also pay attention to the design. First of all look at your girlfriend's jewellery and clothes. What's her taste? If she doesn't have any rings look at her other jewellery such as earrings, necklaces etc. Does she go for smallish, dainty designs or she does prefer bigger, chunkier pieces? Does she prefer more modern or traditional designs? What sort of clothes does she like? What's her favourite colour? Is it possible that she might prefer a centre precious stone such as an emerald, ruby or sapphire set in diamonds? Is it possible that she might like an antique ring? My own engagement ring is an antique sapphire and diamond. I have an American friend who has a diamond ring with three stones,a huge central one flanked by two smaller ones that was chosen by her husband and she confessed to me that she doesn't like it but has never said so because it would hurt his feelings. Her husband bought the stones in Amsterdam and had the ring specially made but she would have been much happier with something more modest.

You might be better off going to an actual shop where you can inspect the quality and setting of the ring. It can vary. Sometimes a ring can look very nice in photos but when you get it in your hand it's disappointing. The stone may be ok, but the colour of the gold, just the whole feel of the thing can be 'cheap'. Also if you go to a shop you can ask advice of the staff. Just tell them your budget and let them show you their most popular items in that price range. However, If you've been looking online at her local shops, you can be sure that they're stocking the styles that sell best.

Work / Salary for a senior software engineer in Poland [195]


That might be what he said but the truth is that they need your skills, he realised you weren't prepared to work for peanuts and he accepted the fact that he'd have to pay you a halfway reasonable salary.


Like I said Fapper that's their job, to find a solution, not yours. It's an internal company matter which they have to resolve either by finding the money elsewhere in their budget or by some other means. Whatever you do, don't start racking your brains and trying to present them with possible ways round it. It will make you look desperate. Yes, you might be desperate to work for them, but dont let them know that! It comes across very badly to appear so anxious to work for a company. The situation which has arisen is entirely their fault and they must be the ones to fix it. Remember these people have misled you and messed you around for two months so if anything you should be expressing your annoyance to them, not soothing their feelings and offering to help them!

Just tell them you're disappointed as you were looking forward to working for them and that you would still consider doing so in the future if they manage to solve their budgeting issues and leave it at that. If they're that eager to hire you, they'll find a way.

Work / Salary for a senior software engineer in Poland [195]


Well based on the extra background story you've just provided, I would say, let the Polish company faff around trying to sort the visa and if it works out, then take the opportunity as a means to an end. Don't expect it to be your dream job but see it as an opportunity to start the next phase of your career. Get a year or so under your belt there and even if you hate it, grit your teeth and just think of your CV. Then start looking around for something better. In the meantime, if you're feeling exhausted from the job search, take a break from it now for a month or so. It's not going to make any great difference in the long term and you need to have a rest and you'll come back to it with renewed energy. Don't give up. Keep us posted won't you and let us know how things go :))

Love / Polish girl "loves" me, despite not meeting in real life first [56]

No indeed, but I'm not American, I'm happy to say - is it only four million, I thought it was more.

Study / Any international student going to or have studied at Uniwersytet Warszawski (Uni. of Warsaw)? [5]

But it's been pointed out many times on this forum that the quality you're referring to is not there, not in the programs delivered through English. What's wrong with studying in your own country?? A degree from your own country might well be of better quality than an English language option in Poland.