USA, Canada / My wife wants to return to Poland...but I want to stay in the US [155]

Patrycja - no problem. Thanks for the reply. Looks like we basically agree, my point was, fix the marriage first, she's unhappy for a reason. Find out what it is and see if there's a way to compromise. The comment I made about the child is that the little girl has a mommy and a daddy and it should always stay that way.

Ok, thanks again for the reply.

I'm out of here, time for some jack & coke and maybe a mai tai later tonite - cheers, skål, na zdrowie, okole maluna or kanpai, whatever your flavor happens to be...

LOL

USA, Canada / My wife wants to return to Poland...but I want to stay in the US [155]

Thanks for the great response Patrycja. Nice way of ripping me a new one by taking out a tiny section of what all of my replies suggested to Józek.

Well, at least your views are truly unbiased here... ("sarcasm smiley" if I had one)

USA, Canada / My wife wants to return to Poland...but I want to stay in the US [155]

Good post Chris. I agree with you and probably shouldn't have written the "so - what does best for the child really mean?". Oh well, sorry.

Off the subject - 32 inch waist? For a guy? I'm pretty trim but 32 sounds pretty skinny for a guy doesn't it? ...or am I a fatso after all??? LOL

USA, Canada / My wife wants to return to Poland...but I want to stay in the US [155]

Patrycja,

Interesting you're saying I didn't read your post; maybe you didn't read mine? I gave plenty of suggestions on what I would do in his shoes (just a few posts earlier) - read it again, please.

I'm not looking into a male versus female battle - I sincerely hope his marriage will survive and gave him some suggestions on what I think he could do, others gave their advice which is great.

Then you used the term "child's best interest" which as he indicated was something that was very important to him as well.

Since you mentioned it I basically implied the "best interest" wording often means different things to different people. That's all.

So besides giving him my advice on what I would do if I was in his situation I also said that I hope and believe they'll be just fine.

Life / Hepatitis C in Poland...please help. [59]


V99 hepatitis is a contagious disease and you'll be treated in the US whether you have insurance or not. Even Pamela Anderson (who has it too) remarked on the fact some diseases are "free" - not like she needs any money but that's a dif. story. Good luck to you.


I'm sure the documentary was filmed by Michael Fatso Moore or some other thug who refuses to go to Cuba or anywhere else when he gets sick. He should put his mouth where... Never mind, his mouth is too big...

Hepatitis C

Hepatitis C is a viral infection of the liver.
Hepatitis C is spread mainly by direct contact with blood.
About 4 million people in the United States are infected with hepatitis C virus, and most do not know it.

dhpe.org/infect/hepc.html

USA, Canada / My wife wants to return to Poland...but I want to stay in the US [155]


Zimmy - I agree with you but wanted to point out that the whole sentence you quoted better explains how I feel.

"In several fairly recent cases it looked to me the "child's best interest" basically meant the woman's best interest. "

This is what I meant as I don't think all women are like that; I'm simply saying that's what I've seen in some recent cases, that we (as a society) need to be careful because they are out there.

Love / Do you think that Polish should stick to Polish? [128]

Ooops, je m’excuse, forgot to add Polish as sexy, absolutely... Even though I prefer a female who speaks with smooth and low voice... ;)

Love / Do you think that Polish should stick to Polish? [128]


While on a trip I ran into an English teacher in Malaysia; he was British but he'd lived in the US for some time. He too said people in Malaysia told him the Am English was easier to understand. I thought it was interesting considering Malaysia used to be a British colony.

Either way, I like both accents/dialect or whatever term you refer. Aussie English is the best though - when a good lookin' Aussie lady speaks "strine" I can listen for hours... LOL

USA, Canada / My wife wants to return to Poland...but I want to stay in the US [155]

Patrycja - for the sake of the discussion - what does it mean when people say "in the child's best interest?"

Often the child doesn't know him/herself - they're too young. It'd be pointless to ask a 6 year old who he/she wants to live with - they'll change their mind every 5 minutes. Besides, it'd be very cruel to make them "chose" a parent.

In several fairly recent cases it looked to me the "child's best interest" basically meant the woman's best interest. The Brazilian case (see the video above) was a prime example. She kidnapped the child (according to all treaties and the Hague children's convention") yet she claimed it was in her boy's best interest.

Tough issue and I hate to ruin the mood of this thread as I hope things will wrok out for Józek and his wife. However when we all say "the child is most important often we mean very different things, wouldn't you say?

Patrycja - meant to add this but missed the 15 minute PF edit dead-line.

Often when a woman sees the odds stack against her - child abuse allegations (by the man) mysteriously appear. My neighbor's brother went through hell when his then wife wanted a divorce and full custody. When he wouldn't give her what she wanted all of a sudden all kinds of stories appeared about his "inappropriate behavior" toward his daughter. I considered him a friend and must admit I too started believing her and pretty much stopped interacting with her ex (he used to live a few blocks away until I moved to a different state).

Fast forward a few years - his ex has now gotten involved with drugs (coke first then meth) and got busted for selling them. When she ended up in prison she finally opened up to her family and told her mom that she'd lied about the child abuse by her ex - she simply wanted the full custody.

So there she was - she got everything she wanted, including the full custody yet few years later ends up ruining everything she so eloquently lied for just to get involved with drugs...

Had she not gotten busted for drugs the entire world (relative term) would still think my friend was a child abuser. Frankly I'm not worthy to be called "his friend" as I wasn't there for him when he needed me the most but he has forgiven me.

It is a tough issue and I hate to ruin the mood of this thread as I hope and think that it’ll all work out for Józek and his wife.

However when we all say "the child is most important" often we mean very different things, wouldn't you say?

USA, Canada / US Green Card lottery for Poles? [19]


Unfortunately no. I agree with you by the way and think green card lottery, visas, etc should be tailored to our true allies but the politicians are in a grid-lock over so many things they can't even begin to debate this issue...

Note, this is just a green card (DV) lottery; only 50 thousand people a year - 'peanuts' compared to the actual amount of immigrants who come in every year to the US. (...and I'm not even talking about the illegal immigrants from south of the border)

state.gov/r/pa/prs/ps/2009/sept/129956.htm

For DV-2011, natives of the following countries are not eligible to apply because the countries sent a total of more than 50,000 immigrants to the United States in the previous five years:

BRAZIL, CANADA, CHINA (mainland-born), COLOMBIA, DOMINICAN REPUBLIC, ECUADOR, EL SALVADOR, GUATEMALA, HAITI, INDIA, JAMAICA, MEXICO, PAKISTAN, PERU, PHILIPPINES, POLAND, SOUTH KOREA, UNITED KINGDOM (except Northern Ireland) and its dependent territories, and VIETNAM. Persons born in Hong Kong SAR, Macau SAR, and Taiwan are eligible.

USA, Canada / My wife wants to return to Poland...but I want to stay in the US [155]


Józek - right after my military service in Sweden I worked for almost two years in a zink and an iron-ore mine to save up some money. I was a rookie and while I was there it was mandated by our union and the company for all of us to use "light treatment" for seasonal depression (I think there were several suicides right before I arrived).

Northern parts of Sweden do not get much sun light to begin with - there's even less of that deep inside a mine - LOL

Don't know what kind of light bulbs they used and am not sure how it works but it was a large "cafeteria" type of a room and 50 or so guys at a time would spend about 30 minutes a day in that room reading papers, etc.. I never believed in this treatment until one day one of the grumpiest and oldest SOBs who drank 2 gallons of coffee a day started cracking jokes - and the jokes were funny too...

Maybe see a doctor if they have more info on that?

alaskanorthernlights.com/ther_dep.php

Also, my sister lives in Norway and she suffers from SAD. (Although I believe she has SAD because she chose to marry a Norwegian!) LOL

Love / Polish Girls vs Russian Girls [813]

Not beer mixed with juice but juice after beer, correct?

Love / Do you think that Polish should stick to Polish? [128]

I know, I was just keedin'

You see, you can teach Queen's English in Poland after all...

Love / Do you think that Polish should stick to Polish? [128]

In France maybe LOL

We fought a war (well, waaay before my time) not to spell the French way...

You say potatoes I say... taters... :)

Love / Do you think that Polish should stick to Polish? [128]

Angie - just teach them proper English! :)

Besides, your English (CA) is closer to the British English than you think. Just look at how you mispelled "color" ;)

Hope you know I'm keedin' LOL

I'm a guy and disagree with filios1 100%

If he/she is right then I'd rather stay single for the rest of my life...

Love / Polish guys who have never had girlfriends [71]

PolishLover2009 - are you very outgoing, popular, etc.? Just read your second post so it sounds like he's known you for a looong time thus he knows your past and every guy you've dated, etc.

I think he's simply very intimidated by you. We, the guys, like to pretend that we're "in charge" every now and then (most of us know better and have no illusion anymore lol) and I think that somehow he feels intimidated around you...

Many moons ago there was this girl I really liked. She smiled at me every now and then but she was always surrounded by other guys, she was pretty and popular. We went to movies a few times and had a great time but I never viewed it as "real dates" - I thought she went out with me just because we were neighbors.

Later I moved to the US, she got married, etc. Then a few years later she had a really tough divorce (abusive husband) and when my sister tried to console her she asked her how come I never wanted her as a girlfriend! Huh? There you have it - they say we are from Mars and you're from Venus but I think we're separated by many Galaxies.

Nicszlu - honesty is always best. Since writing doesn't seem to work for you how about Skype? Remember it's free computer to computer... If there's camera on both ends you could always draw a flower for her if you lack words... ;)

Also, write a simple, to the point letter and email it or send it to her facebook account (NOT her Wall that everyone can see :) etc.

Have someone translate your letter into Polish and email it to her along with a 'virtual' flower. ;)

Something like,

Hi ...

My Polish is not good enough to explain this so asked someone else for help with this letter. I find you absolutely fascinating. I'd love to get to know you some more. I hope you'll be coming back to the States really soon and if you do maybe you and I could get together sometime where you could teach me Polish while practicing your English with me? I think you'd enjoy getting to know me.

In the meantime I hope we can stay in touch via email, phone, etc.

Please let me know what you think,

...

Bueno Fortuna! (good luck)

USA, Canada / My wife wants to return to Poland...but I want to stay in the US [155]

My post should NOT have been moved... Józek - hope things work out between the two of you!

the long post was removed for being off topic.

the short post referred to the long post, as well as the op.

members have been informed that if a post is in part off topic the whole post may be sent to Random.

Love / Do you think that Polish should stick to Polish? [128]

Angelina? Oh so it is Angélique LOL

Sorry 'bout the spelling errors in my earlier post - hope the gist of my message got through.


That makes you... straight? LOL sorry resist...

Love / Do you think that Polish should stick to Polish? [128]

Angie or is it Angéli where you live? lol

- I think you really have to let your heart decide on that one. Nationality, heritage, religion, race, etc. should in my mind never be the determining factor. IF it so happens the guy is Polish then it'll be a huge plus but I don't think you should look for someone simply because he's Polish... At least that's how I feel. Good luck!

Oh forgot to mention - personally I hear the best men around are guys of Polish heritage, raised in Scandinavia who now live in the US. However, that's just what I've heard... Just keedin'.

My best friend is an American who married a Brasilian lady of Japanese heritage (they're kids are gorgeous!!!)

It gets better - my friend is an airline pilot and his grand father was was in the US Army 0 captured in Japan and spend almost a year in a Japanese camp. Two years after my friend married his wife he realized that her grandfather (who's a very old and senile man still living in Brazil) was one of the guards who guarded his grand father in the prisoners' camp. That's how her grandfather neded up in Brasil - he was a war criminal who fled Japan after war. My point? Today both of them are a very happy couple despite the odds - let your heart steer you.

Love / Polish Girls vs Russian Girls [813]

Dear God Sasha - it'll be hard to fall asleep tonight... ;)

Love / How do Polish boys feel about foreign girls? [163]


You're welcome Jazz - working hard on bringing you some more of that to your perfect society... In the meantime keep telling all the aborigines and also the immigrants in your internment camps that all the evil came from America.

(Off the record - I do love Australia but obviously they have their share of 'problems')

Travel / Best way to go from Warsaw to Varberg (Sweden) [7]

All great advices. Either Göteborg or Malmö - G-town probably better.

Check the here's the English version of the train schedules - it's probably going to be pricey.

sj.se/sj/jsp/polopoly.jsp?d=10&l=en

PS. Who's playing?

Life / Can foreigners really understand Poles? [136]


Nonsense! Everyone knows Norwegian is simply 'broken' Swedish. They have two main dialects because one is more broken than the other... LOL

USA, Canada / My wife wants to return to Poland...but I want to stay in the US [155]


Well, she can't simply leave with the child without a court order - if she does it's considered kindnapping - even if she's the child's mother.

Does this ring a bell?
...

The mother of this guy's child (who just like your kid was born in the US) went home to Brasil with their kid. She was supposed to be there for 2 weeks to visit her family. Instead she never returned, started dating a prominent Brazilian lawyer and blackmailed her husband into granting her a divorce "so he could see his son more often." When he signed the papers - she kept withholding the kid from him anyways.

Well, then all of a sudden she died giving birth to the child she had with her new husband (karma?). Shockingly and against all children conventions Brazil had signed in the past - the Brazilian courts then granted her "new" husband full custody of the child (remember he is a prominent lawyer in Brasil). It took many years but the boy is finally with the biological father.

From what I've heard Poland is a stickler to most if not all UN conventions regarding child custody which means if your wife simply took the girl home without a court order you'd have a very strong case and she'd probably lose the custody because of the "kidnapping" charge.

A shared custody is a must as children need both parents - unless extreme reasons exist (violence, drugs, alcoholism, etc, etc.)

Hope this never gets to that point and that y'all work things out.

USA, Canada / My wife wants to return to Poland...but I want to stay in the US [155]

Very true, unfortunately it goes both ways. How are you doing today? Have you regained some mobility?

When I said Zimmy had some great advice I think it'd be better if he/she changed "today's women" to "today's couples." Otherwise, good advice.

USA, Canada / My wife wants to return to Poland...but I want to stay in the US [155]


You really think so? Maybe I'm naïve but I fly widebody aircraft all over the world and love what I do. I always felt that aviation came first; in fact I moved across the Big Pond to pursue my dreams yet today I think I'd take a janitor's job in China if it brought her back. It's been a while so I'm not 'freshly wounded' but I think you should let your friend move if he wants to. Just my take on it...


I think this summarizes my feelings too.

Language / Usage rules of ł in the Polish language [30]

You're probably correct and obviously more au fait in this matter.

I simply googled "polish L", etc. and few of the results mentioned "L with stroke" but I also saw the "barred L" option being mentioned.

To an amateur such s myself a "barred L" implies I'm getting in trouble for using the letter L... :)

/Polish_L_with_stroke

USA, Canada / My wife wants to return to Poland...but I want to stay in the US [155]

Józek - if it makes you feel any better I've seen some rough marriages that were saved. You both need to get with someone who's impartial and who'll listen to your and her concerns and will help you to come up with a solution.

Maybe bring one of her relatives for an extended stay? Whatever takes, at this point you're the one who'll have to walk the extra mile...

Ask your family members how "receptive" to your problems they'll be when your wife leaves you? They might have their own problems but since she's your wife your family is also her family so they should be more "receptive" to your wife if that's what she needs. If that's good for her then it's good for you too.

Also, talk to her about the worst possibility as well - make sure that if she decides to leave for Poland, she will not do it by disappearing while you're at work (unless you're a violent person which by the tone of your post and concern you exhibit I doubt) - otherwise you'll never be able to get a closure.

Love / Polish Girls vs Russian Girls [813]


Wow, really?! Stop attempting to connect with Polish women via dating sites or cheap bars. The Polish women I know, including my mother, but also many that I've met in Sweden, Norway and the US are very intelligent, most well educated, interested in outside world, and simply a blast to be around.

A person's perception of the opposite gender is directly proportional to the person's treatment of that said gender.

USA, Canada / My wife wants to return to Poland...but I want to stay in the US [155]

Józek - not enough info here. Based on your name I assume you're Polish too, is that correct?

Has she given you an ultimatum or just alluded to her being better off in Poland? Sorry about being frank here but is it that she misses Poland or is she maybe not happy in the marriage or both?

It's hard for us guys sometimes to see the signs. I came home one day and my wife was gone. I thought things were great, or very good at the very least. All our friends thought I was joking when I told them what happened - "but you guys were SOOO happy" was what I heard from everyone of them, and we were blessed with many friends.

So my point is - how sure are you about her true feelings?

I'd say sit down with her and have an honest conversation about that, maybe even have a counselor there with you.

You said she has no friends and now she stays home with the little girl. What are the chances of you taking some time off to let your wife go to work instead? Not sure what she was making in the past but if it was less than you, maybe the pay cut will be worth it anyways? Remember the saying - a happy wife is a happy husband.

If you worry about the money, remember, the best retirement plan a man can have is to keep the same wife until the retirement. ;)

By the way, what are the chances of you trying to move to Poland with her for a few years?

Wish you both the best!