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Fell in love with a Polish girl, but find it difficult to approach her [620]
OK glowa..... here goes.
It is a simple technique that was taught to me by an actor friend of mine who when he is in between parts teaches presentation skills for some of the big UK corporates. He claims that it works in about 80-90% of cases.
The pre-requisite is that at some time in your life you must have been really, really scared. The basic process is to sit down,close your eyes, lots of deep breathing and try to clear your mind of all thoughts. Then you are asked by a friend to remember the scary experience. You have to think very deeply about the experience, to recall your emotions when scared, sweaty hands, shallow breathing or whatver your reactions were. Think about the moment for 30 seconds. Then (since you're still alive and must have come out of the experience) you have to remember the time when your fear started to subside. Feel the emotions of relief that you had. Follow the calming process in your mind until you reach the point when you were 'safe' once more. Think of one word that sums up something that happended to make you begin to feel safe. Say this word out loud just once or twice. Open your eyes again. The idea is that word becomes your trigger for the brain to release the chemicals upon demand when you need to feel calm. When you want to feel calm simply say this word out loud as quietly as you like and you should feel the calmness spreading over you. Sounds wacky but it worked and still works for me.
It's difficult to write it down like this. My example may help. When I was learning to hang glide the time came for my first solo flight of any distance as a part of my training. I was told to fly over a small ridge and land at the bottom of the slope. I didn't know that over the small ridge was a 700 foot drop! When I cleared the ridge I was scared stiff. I froze and all the training disappeared. Then the instructor called me on the two way radio. The radio crackled into life and his calm reassuring voice came over. He talked me through the flight and from being scared I relaxed and started to enjoy the fantatstic feeling of flying like a bird. The word I chose was 'crackle'. Even today, 20 years after I was 'programmed' it still works.
Long winded post - sorry. Give it a go
