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Living in Poland with income from the US. [44]
We like to have small places, ride public transit, cook and eat at home, ect.
Don't worry about small places, no problem there. Polish apartments are tiny compared to what you're used to in America. If you want to rent cheaply you'll be looking at a one room apartment of very modest proportions, under 300sq feet. Rents are comparatively high in Polish cities relative to salary. Take a look at what's on offer in Poznań:
domiporta.pl/mieszkanie/wynajme/wielkopolskie/poznan?PricePerMeter.To=1000
As you can see it's going to cost you minimum of around1,000zl per month for a small one room place and on top of that there will be a service charge, usually of 400-500 which covers cold water and rubbish, sometimes hot water and central heating are included, but not always. Sometimes the ads give the amount of the 'czynsz' and sometimes not but budget for 400-500 in addition to the stated rent. If you want to live in something where you can swing a cat (around 400-500 sq feet) you'll need to budget for up to 2,000 per month including czynsz. Then you have internet,electricity, possibly gas and possibly hot water and central heating so that will be another 300 or thereabouts.
Grocery shopping depends of course on what you like to eat but budget for at least 1200 a month for two adults and remember to factor in personal care products, cleaning products etc.
So that's around 3-4,000 for your basics.
Krakow or Warsaw seem nicer
Only if you like heavily polluted air in winter. Poland has 33 out of the 50 most polluted cities in Europe and sometimes smog levels in the towns you mention are on a par with Bejing. Warsaw is not nice. It's sprawling, traffic ridden and pretty ugly. The Stare Miasto is charming and parts of the city centre and a few nearby areas such as Mokotów have their appeal but it's not an attractive city by an means. However it definitely has plenty going on in arts, culture, sports, whatever you're in to.
Just come to Poland with realistic expectations and you'll be fine. It's not a Paradise by any means and there's an evergrowing number of 'hipsters' and upwardly mobile types who are a bit cringeworthy :)) Together with that you get the 'bumpkin' factor and there's still a lot of downright rudeness. But there are nice people too and lots of natural beauty to explore (when they're not busy polluting it and chopping down the ancient forests, do you know about Białowieża?).
I'm curious. You say your wife is an EU citizen. Does she not want to live in her own country?? Would it not make sense to settle there if you don't like America?