Life / Poland's birthrate on the decline [480]


I'm not "butting in" her relationship, I'm just describing it o_O And it's my mother who's been complaining about her husband to me, so she's been burdening me with her marital issues.


It looks like you are.


I was helping my parents when I was living with them. I have my own life now, my own duties and chores. It's not my job to do daily chores for my parents o_O They're capable of doing that themselves. My father sits at home all day watching TV or he's surfing the internet on his phone, so he has all the time in the world to help my mother. He should be sharing house duties with his own freaking wife and since he has both hands - he can peel his own freaking apple. Get it?


The pot calling the kettle black lol

Life / Poland's birthrate on the decline [480]


In theory. In practice that's how they both were brought up and they seem to be stuck in their ways.


That's not how it is with my mother. She's tired and she wishes my father would do more, but she's not assertive enough to demand that from him. She only tells him something when she's really so tired that she breaks down. And this is something I don't understand - how my father has no human decency to do some stuff by himself or help her out with something. How he can be so shamelessly lazy, especially that he knows how tired she is and with her back problems...


I know that there are women who are like that - when husbands actually do something at home they criticise him or laugh at him for doing it wrong. They are their own enemies. In part women are to blame for this situation - mothers raise their sons to be such niedorajdy życiowe who can't do anything at home. But that's because such are the societal expectations/norms in which those mothers were raised.

Life / Poland's birthrate on the decline [480]


Nope. As I wrote - plain misogyny.


No, sorry, but what you're writing makes no sense. Both sexes can file for divorce, so there is gender equality in this respect. Men can file for divorce too if they wish, so there's no discrimination here. The fact that they don't want to file for divorce as often as women is their choice.


That's true, but thanks to advancement in medicine women can have kids at later age these days.


The problem is that women often bring to the marital table more than men. I'm guessing that this is one of the reasons (maybe even the main one) why women file for divorce more often than men.

Life / Poland's birthrate on the decline [480]


You can do DNA paternity testing these days, "genius" lol


Oh, I'm sure you're honest in your prejudice against women :)))


I don't know about that, I don't know what every feminist has ever said over the years. I can only speak for myself. I think that majority of jobs can be done by both sexes. There are some professions which men are more likely to do (that require greater physical strength) and professions which would be better if they were done by women for safety reasons (working with young children, since men are far more likely to be pedophiles). And I'm OK with that.


No, if you make a claim and you're writing that your claim is based on data, stats, research, news reports or some official info then it's your job to prove your claim - provide your sources. That's how it works on this forum - no matter if it's a man or a woman making the claim. So, I'm not going to do your job for you. (Geez, another lazy mysoginistic rightist talking out of his ass!)

Life / Poland's birthrate on the decline [480]


Of course - since men have it all, then why women wouldn't?


Of course - since men aren't "doing it all", then why women should?


It's funny how you're accusing women of what men are actually infamously doing. A peculiar case of projecting :)) That is how usually husbands behave, not wives. And it's apparently happening not only in Poland, because such behaviour even got its own name - "weaponized incompetence" :)))


Because earning less doesn't equal spending less time at work and being less tired after work. So, sharing duties at home would be not only a humane thing to do, but also a smart thing to do on the part of the husband, because if apart from working the wife has to do everything at home and remember and think about almost everything then she's too tired and stressed out to have sex with the husband. After years of such marriage she may be so tired, burned out and disconnected from her husband that she will divorce him.

So, as you can see, sharing duties at home by the husband and wife together is also in the interest of the husband.

Also, I don't know what it's like in the US, but in Poland husbands often don't earn much more than wives. For example, my father was earning not much more than my mother and for some time she was earning more than him. And yet, she's been always doing much more at home even though my father had a much less tiring job than her and he was spending a lot of time on watching movies on a laptop at work. Even now, when they're retired, she's still doing more at home and she's the one taking care and playing with their granddaughter and taking her to the playground every freaking time. My father is too lazy to even peel an apple for himself - my mother has to do it for him.

Life / Poland's birthrate on the decline [480]


I don't know if men being "expendable" is behind it and to what extent. From nature's point of view maybe it makes sense, because you don't need many men to impregnate many women, I don't know. But I think the main reason why men were soldiers is simply because of their physical strength and predisposition for agression and violence. I guess being soldiers comes more "naturally" to them and for thousands of years being a warrior was a "men's thing". And it's still seen this way. There are also professions that are considered to be "feminine" or "for women", like preschool teachers, cleaning ladies, nurses, caretakers for older people, etc. and I haven't heard about men taking to the streets demanding to be hired as cleaning ladies or nurses. So, it looks like they're "fine with with this status quo".


My God, you're such a f*cked up, prejudiced misogynist. Why are you always attributing only bad intentions to women? You're sick in the head.

No, that's not the reason why some men are not in favour of women in the army and in the police. There are usually two main reasons:

1. As Novichok wrote - women are simply often more petite and physically weaker, so they may not perform in some situations as well as men.

2. Plain misogyny.

Of course there are also police officers and soldiers who don't have a problem with women joining their formations.


Links?


It only confirmed that in my opinion everyone has a right to get a divorce. People shouldn't be forced to stay in a marriage if they don't want to be in it. Do you think they should be forced?

Food / Polish Dinner for Boyfriend - what to cook? [34]


:O

I love both xD 🤤

Life / Poland's birthrate on the decline [480]


That doesn't put men in a good light as husbands, does it. It looks like marriage is better/more convenient for men than for women. If that changed - maybe there would be less divorces :)


You must be talking about the US.


Again, maybe that's the way in the US - I don't know. Not in Poland though. I'd say that both sexes are expected to work here. Maybe there's more pressure on men to support family, especially in more conservative regions, but it's completely normal for women to work. I was raised in a conservative region by a mother who was raised in the countryside and there was no question about the fact that I'm supposed to get education and a job, preferably a good one. There was no other option.


Women have been contributing in all kinds of fields since when they were allowed to do it.

Life / Poland's birthrate on the decline [480]


You seem to be forgetting that women in the past weren't allowed into the military, even if they wanted to join.

Even these days men in the military or even in the police pretty often aren't terribly enthusiastic about women joining.

Btw:

"Russia is the only nation to deploy female combat troops in substantial numbers. Historically, female recruits either joined the military in disguise or were tacitly accepted by their units. Perhaps the most prominent was a contingent of front-line light cavalry in a Cossack regiment commanded from 1915 to 1917 by a female colonel, Alexandra Kudasheva (1873-1921?). This cavalry regiment fought in WWI and also during the Russian Revolution. and may have been the first gender-integrated regiment in Russian history. She was also noted for her endurance riding feats."

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Women_in_the_military


How do you know? And which courts are you talking about? In the US? In Poland?


No, I don't. You're talking nonsense.

Life / Poland's birthrate on the decline [480]


Of course it isn't.


It's the same in case of a man. It's the man's "personal choice" too :)))


I'm guessing it's not about time, but about you living in the US. Maybe in the US people need to work multiple jobs. I don't think it's the case in Western Europe. 🤔


In the past women weren't in the position to be anything else than "breeding cows", because they weren't allowed to be anything else by men. In recent years it's been changing. Slowly, but still. So - give it time :)

Life / Poland's birthrate on the decline [480]


I'm guessing that the type of custody is being decided by the court on case by case basis depending on the situation. Sorry, but I don't know how it works exactly - I've never been through a divorce.


Sorry, but you're not making sense to me. What does it have to do with "power and privilege"? People should be able to get a divorce if they wish - no matter what is their sex o_O It's a basic right and not some "privilege" lol


Of course not lol o_O

Life / Poland's birthrate on the decline [480]


As I already wrote - sharing responsibilities fairly. That doesn't exclude having common sense. So if one spouse is working and the other stays with the kids at home - it's pretty obvious that the one who stays at home will be doing most of the chores. Having said that - this person will still need a breather from the house work and taking care of kids in order to not go insane.

However, if both parents are working the duties and responsibilities at home should be shared equally - which is often not the case in Poland = working women are doing most of the work at home and they're taking care of children. That's not fair.


Not in Poland.


LOL
Sorry, Poloniusz, but it was you who wrote that "Having men work and having women stay at home to care for children is what works best". So, could you explain it to me why it's "the best" when women stay at home and take care of children and not men?

Life / Poland's birthrate on the decline [480]


Nope. Simply shared fairly.


Sorry, but I can't see that. In traditional countries "economic disparities" are far greater.


I thought it's pretty obvious. You were talking about courts giving kids to mothers. If fathers start actually taking care of their kids and will be able to take care of the house on their own (as in - not being życiowe sieroty) then they will be more likely to get child custody after getting divorce. Simple :)

Life / Poland's birthrate on the decline [480]


Can't blame you.


Yup. My sentiments exactly.


Awesome. 👍

Life / Poland's birthrate on the decline [480]


Not flipped but shared fairly.


That's clearly not true if you compare Western countries with traditional countries. Western countries are more successful, richer, etc.


Nope, it's true.


You clearly don't understand what I'm talking about. It's not only about ceding "power and privileges" but also duties and responsibilities. You know - those duties and responsibilities that men don't like so much :)))

Life / Poland's birthrate on the decline [480]


Fathers from my parents generation weren't doing even that. They were simply doing pretty much nothing. That included giving zero affection to their kids.

What court would give a child to someone like that?


That's not true - at least in the case of Polish women.


Considering what their father is like - that's probably for the better lol This is probably why they turned out normal :))) Oh, and btw, I'm not talking about being "helicopter parents". I'm talking about normal parenting and simply taking care of your kids.

Life / Poland's birthrate on the decline [480]


There you go, Poloniusz - that's a typical selfish, lazy, clueless, autistic and a$$holish older generation Polish father attitude for you :) (and probably typical not only for Polish fathers)

Love / Smitten and Wondering [81]

@Ironside, that meme shows that I find your trolling boring (and off topic) and I'm not going to take part in it. So, I'm afraid you'll have to play on your own. 😴

Life / Poland's birthrate on the decline [480]


I'm sure there were some fathers that parented, but I'm talking about an average Polish family during the time when I was a kid. I'm not talking only about the case of my parents, obviously.


Courts giving kids to mothers stems from the conviction in the Polish society that kids belong with their mother. And this is result of the fact that in Poland it have been mothers who have been taking care of kids so far. And this is because of the conviction that it's the mother's job to take care of the kids. And this is a traditional, patriarchal approach, not a feminist one. It is changing a bit with younger generations and I hope it will change further.


Yes, but provided they actually take part in their lives, actually take care of them and don't just take the back seat letting the mother do all the work.

Love / Smitten and Wondering [81]


You don't know that :))) And it wouldn't matter anyway. It's the single women who are looking for a husband, not married women. And to a woman looking for a husband you'd be a one big walking red flag lol


I can read :)))))))

Love / Smitten and Wondering [81]


Sorry, but based on your comments in this thread - you don't strike me as a good husband material, especially for a decent Christian woman :))) You sound like someone who's very, very likely to cheat on your wife. You're one big walking red flag lol


Nope, I developed an anti-Ironside prejudice by now :)))


No, it means I'm not going to do your work for you, you lazy ass.

Life / Poland's birthrate on the decline [480]


No, we just wish all the burdens and responsibilities weren't put on just our shoulders. And if the society wants to have children, then it will have to make it easier for people to have those children. That's the reality. Wishful thinking of misogynistic a$$holes won't change that reality.

Life / Poland's birthrate on the decline [480]


Oh, those dark-eyed, handsome, tanned habibis, mmmm... haha :D


There doesn't seem to be much parenting happening in Egypt, I'm afraid.


Bullsh1t. Parenting wasn't done by fathers, but by mothers. And that's what it was like when I was a kid, because many men are lazy, selfish a$$holes :)


Not really, not all feminists are the same. Just like not all "third worlders" are the same.

Love / Smitten and Wondering [81]

@Ironside, I'm not going to waste my time anymore - if you don't provide sources, it means you're talking out of your ass. End of story.


You're wasting my time then :/


Of course not.


I have no "anti-male pending frustration". I'm not anti-male. I'm anti-selfish__and_hypocritical_cheating_a$$holes, like you :)))


Well then... lol:

thestandard.com.hk/breaking-news/section/4/200697/Woman-jailed-as-puppeteer-behind-revenge-acid-attack-on-cheating-husband

"On the day of the incident, Ho called Luk to get drain cleaner and planned revenge on Cheung for his extra-marital affair."

privatedetective.co.uk/infidelity-cheating-role-private-detectives-around-world/

"China's divorce rate has been growing exponentially and extramarital affairs are cited in 73% of marriage breakdowns."

:)

Life / Poland's birthrate on the decline [480]


:D
Poloniusz, you probably should go and live in Egypt for a while, for example, and see how "hard-working" Muslim housewives are lol


Because society needs new people and you can't have new people without children being born. Unless, of course, you prefer importing "third worlders" :)))

Love / Smitten and Wondering [81]


Here you have a break down of most of the points I made in my post #50:

1. Your wishful thinking that the wife should have a more "relaxed attitude" to his husband cheating is just that - wishful thinking. It is unrealistic. Most women would be hurt by their husbands cheating on them and in many cases that would be a cause for divorce in our part of the world (which includes the US where Scorpio411 lives). That's the reality. The fact you wish it wasn't so won't change the reality. So, you have to deal with reality and not men's fantasies and wishful thinking.

2. As for your comment that "we see that situation from our perspective". Scorpio411 lives in "our perspective". He doesn't live in Asia or in some tribe in Africa. It doesn't matter that you like it the way it is in Asia lol Scorpio411 doesn't live in Asia. Where he lives cheating on your wife usually has consequences - wives are far less likely to put up with it. That's the reality and, again, your wishful thinking and your male fantasies won't change that reality.

3. Monogamy isn't characteristic only for Christian and post-Christian countries. Polygamy is actually rare in this world.

4. If you and Scorpio411 prefer it the way it is in Asia then nothing is stopping you from moving to Asia :)) Don't let the door hit you on the way out! :)))



:D


No, we don't know, so please enlighten us with your sources or we'll have every right to claim that you're talking out of your ass :D

Love / Smitten and Wondering [81]

@Ironside, of course there are. You prefer to pretend that there aren't any, because you have no counterarguments to what I wrote in that post #50 :)))

Love / Smitten and Wondering [81]


This may happen. I think it's probably not uncommon that if a marriage is failing then it's not the fault of just one person. It may happen that both the husband and wife are neglecting their relationship. And in order to fix that you have to... talk about it. Because how do you know that there's something to fix if the other person won't tell you that there's something wrong?


Why? Are you stupid? :)


You make the claim, so it is your job to prove it and provide your sources. Until you do that - you're talking out of your ass.

Love / Smitten and Wondering [81]


Well, I'd say that trying to fix your marriage is a better option than destroying it completely by cheating on your spouse - at least for normal people o_O


Iron, the fact that you were or are not able to talk about problems in your marriage and find solutions to those problems doesn't mean that everyone is like this. You're projecting too much. There are better, more mature and more intelligent people in this world than you - both men and women. I'm not saying that this is easy, but it can be done.


Nonsense. Adult people usually know enough about life to realise that after some years of marriage a crisis may come, etc. Many women would prefer to know what's wrong rather than to be cheated on and find out at some point that their husband has been having an affair for the last 5 years or is f*cking prostitutes on regular basis o_O

From a woman's perspective - the fact that a guy is willing to fight for his marriage shows that he cares. That he wants to be with his wife in a real (and not fake) relationship. That maybe he still loves her.

Love / Smitten and Wondering [81]


If you mean Scorpio411's case then by "working on his marriage" I meant that he should tell his wife that he's missing something in their marriage. Tell her what that it is, what could be improved, etc. And if he doesn't know what is that he's missing exactly or doesn't know how to tell this to his wife or how this should be fixed, then maybe they should try marriage counselling.