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Soldier born in Poland / living in England. Fiance going away for ages. Complicated...


dtaylor 9 | 823  
24 Jun 2008 /  #31
Why is your army fiancée going to Iraq, for six months away from you?

Simple, it may not be his first choice, but it's duty.
shopgirl 6 | 928  
24 Jun 2008 /  #32
Hey look at the bright side.....you don't have to listen to any snoring for a while, or pick up dirty socks! hehe :)

Make him leave some of his clothes behind that smell like him.....to make him seem close.

I once slept in a BF's coat for a month (at night in winter instead of using a blanket because it had his scent)...and I cried myself to sleep every night.
OP JustysiaS 13 | 2,240  
24 Jun 2008 /  #33
seanbm: cos he needs the money to pay up his debts and invest in a new carreer because he wants to have a normal life with me without the army cr*p. he says this is something he has to do and he's doing it for me. it sounded bizarre at first, but its starting to sink in now and wheteher i like it or not, i have to accept it. he has a choice of going to canada for 3 months and saving nothing, or going to iraq for twice as long but getting all the bonuses and not really risking much. we do need the money.

I once slept in a BF's coat for a month (at night in winter instead of using a blanket because it had his scent)...and I cried myself to sleep every night.

awww :(. i actually gotta admit that i had a few tshirts of his when he went away last year and i used them as my jammies lol. i only cried at first, but then you just gotta get used to it and keep going and counting down the days...
SeanBM 35 | 5,808  
24 Jun 2008 /  #34
it's duty.

Explain to me how it is duty for a Scottish guy to have bought a car and the only way he can see of paying it back is through leaving his, wife to be, to go to Iraq for 6 months?

Ok even if it has nothing to do with the car, he is going to Iraq for six months, he is leaving his wife to be, for what?#
dtaylor 9 | 823  
24 Jun 2008 /  #35
Financial aspects are far from his mind, Justysias, you will have our backing and company through such a difficult time....it will fly by;)

Explain to me how it is duty for a Scottish guy to have bought a car and the only way he can see of paying it back is through leaving his, wife to be, to go to Iraq for 6 months?
Ok even if it has nothing to do with the car, he is going to Iraq for six months, he is leaving his wife to be, for what?

I know your point exactly, but should a soldier strike because of his standard of living?....yes, if it was possible, i agree.

Should a soldier die in a needless war? I think you should ask the soldier. We can work as teachers, nurses, ect...but who would put their lives on the line to serve in Iraq.

This guy has, and i wish him well, and a steady return. Good Luck.
sausage 19 | 777  
24 Jun 2008 /  #36
i only cried at first, but then you just gotta get used to it

I find that listening to Avril Lavigne "When you're gone" doesn't help! I was watching the video with Polish subtitles yesterday... didn't exactly cheer me up.
OP JustysiaS 13 | 2,240  
24 Jun 2008 /  #37
for what?#

its his job. he hasnt got much choice. have you ever served in the army? as soon as he pays for that car in full he's selling it and getting something smaller. this trip is a milestone to our future together, if he doesnt go now, he will have to go on many more tours without having a say in it. the sooner he gets out, the better. its not all about the car...

you will have our backing and company through such a difficult time....it will fly by;)

lol sounds good. damn now you reminded me of that song 'fly by', was it by Blue?
SeanBM 35 | 5,808  
24 Jun 2008 /  #38
Iraq, to my knowledge is not the safest place today for an officer of the British army?.
Do you support the army in Iraq? I will probably get crucified for this one.
dtaylor 9 | 823  
24 Jun 2008 /  #39
Do you support the army in Iraq? I will probably get crucified for this one.

No you wont be crucified, you have a right to an opinion like the rest. I don't support this war, but ihave 2 key fact of what we should do...

1. we went in there, took over, shouldnt we be responsible for what will happen there?

2. No matter where our soldiers are, they do th worst job ever, for shockingly low pay. 11k a year...fireman 36k a year?

Therefore, those men in places they dont deserve to be, could atleast have our backing.
szkotja2007 27 | 1,498  
24 Jun 2008 /  #40
Army life sucks big time for the families and loved ones left behind.
Your going to stick with him because you love him and its going to hurt sometimes.
Six months, a year - it soon passes.
Life can be tough coming out of the Army.

Do you support the army in Iraq? I will probably get crucified for this one

Wrong thread Sean.
SeanBM 35 | 5,808  
24 Jun 2008 /  #41
No you wont be crucified, you have a right to an opinion like the rest. I don't support this war, but ihave 2 key fact of what we should do...
1. we went in there, took over, shouldnt we be responsible for what will happen there?
2. No matter where our soldiers are, they do th worst job ever, for shockingly low pay. 11k a year...fireman 36k a year?
Therefore, those men in places they dont deserve to be, could atleast have our backing.

I know this sounds very argumentative to you, i really do not mean it to, but
1. if he could get better pay as a fire man, well then?
2. It does depend on which side of the fence you are on? unjust wars happen.
3. I do not disagree most of the time with backing.
Barney 15 | 1,476  
24 Jun 2008 /  #42
Hi J
My experience of the military is different, very brave men and women sacrificed themselves for the "cause" and their families are still trying to put the pieces together let alone understand the reasons for the sacrifice. I watched "This is England" last night...heroes are for others. Army life is not easy, just something to think about. Your fiancé will be 99% safe, statistically very little chance of harm, no danger of arrest.

Being apart is a risk. I am living with the consequences of taking such a decision. Needless to say it didn’t work out as I had hoped, but I don’t regret it for a second. You do have doubts and are selfish, the other side of the trusting, altruistic coin. A full gambit of emotions and feelings is what makes us human. So celebrate being rounded and never ever feel guilty.

Having read your previous posts I agree that you are indeed a strong willed person. I think the edited section lies at the root of the doubt. That is now private (Hope I didn't dream what I read earlier). I have no advice for you that go beyond more cliché.

If your man was going to New Zealand to play rugby would he accuse you of being selfish? He may, but would he be right?

Take care and think before you speak.
OP JustysiaS 13 | 2,240  
24 Jun 2008 /  #43
Iraq, to my knowledge is not the safest place today for an officer of the British army?.
Do you support the army in Iraq? I will probably get crucified for this one.

of course its not a safe place for ANYONE, its a war zone. i dont support this war at all, i've been very much against it ever since it broke out. people dont sign up for army positions cos they support the war, its just a job. im not with a soldier cos i support the war haha. you're being a tad silly here, sean.
dtaylor 9 | 823  
24 Jun 2008 /  #44
1. if he could get better pay as a fire man, well then?

Most soldiers, or infantry even, take this life because they don't have other options, and some take it because they want to do their part. I dont see whats wrong with being a soldier.

2. It does depend on which side of the fence you are on? unjust wars happen.

Wars happen yes, illegal ones too i agree, but without an army, what would happen? shall we speak french or spanish?

3. I do not disagree most of the time with backing.

These are often young men, i might not agree with the political focus, but these men fight for what(true or not) believe in. They deserve our support because its their lives at risk, not ours.
SeanBM 35 | 5,808  
24 Jun 2008 /  #45
this whole thing is silly.
You do not support what your fiancée is putting his life on the line for, what he is doing for "you"?

It is not "just a job" he is a soldier, people get killed in wars, all wars, even illegal ones.
OP JustysiaS 13 | 2,240  
24 Jun 2008 /  #46
No matter where our soldiers are, they do th worst job ever, for shockingly low pay. 11k a year...fireman 36k a year?

my bloke is on 27k plus bonuses... i earn a lot more than 11k myself lol

Take care and think before you speak.

i usually do and i thought about it for ages before posting this thread. so far it caused no harm to me or other members, has it. plus im surprised you caught the edited bit before i got rid of it, cos ive done it very fast! lol. i know what you're thinking now, all i can say is that boys are boys... and he was very sorry for it. i made him pay. not literally.
szkotja2007 27 | 1,498  
24 Jun 2008 /  #47
Now would be a good time to negotiate a holiday in Dubai !!!
OP JustysiaS 13 | 2,240  
24 Jun 2008 /  #48
It is not "just a job" he is a soldier, people get killed in wars, all wars, even illegal ones.

people get killed in car accidents, plane crashes, they get killed on the streets, they drown... everyone dies

You do not support what your fiancée is putting his life on the line for, what he is doing for "you"?

i think you are the only person here not understanding what this is about. its got nothing to do with war
dtaylor 9 | 823  
24 Jun 2008 /  #49
You do not support what your fiancée is putting his life on the line for, what he is doing for "you"?

Wake up mate, should all soldiers say..."wait, this aint what i signed up for?"
OP JustysiaS 13 | 2,240  
24 Jun 2008 /  #50
every job has risks coming with it. a cook might get burnt or cut, a driver might have an accident, a postman might get mugged etc. a soldier might die in the line of duty. thats the way things are. how old are you, seanbm?
Barney 15 | 1,476  
24 Jun 2008 /  #51
I meant before you speak to Mr J in private.

It was coincidence that I saw your post I usually spend my time trawling through the language section of this forum.

I spent a lot of time before I posted because I surmised that he had told you of his decision before today.
SeanBM 35 | 5,808  
24 Jun 2008 /  #52
my bloke is on 27k plus bonuses... i earn a lot more than 11k myself lol

what car did he buy years ago that still make war the only decision ?

they don't have other options

i think there is that solved?

Wars happen yes, illegal ones too i agree, but without an army, what would happen? shall we speak french or spanish?

Actually English, to the victors the spoils.

These are often young men, i might not agree with the political focus, but these men fight for what(true or not) believe in. They deserve our support because its their lives at risk, not ours.

I disagree.

i think you are the only person here not understanding what this is about. its got nothing to do with war

Ok. I do not mean to be offensive, I am just trying to make an assessment.
dtaylor 9 | 823  
24 Jun 2008 /  #53
I disagree.

Aha, so you think they should be killed because they do their job??

B-Side anyone??
SeanBM 35 | 5,808  
24 Jun 2008 /  #54
Aha, so you think they should be killed because they do their job??

what does that mean? I disagree.
That is quite a mad statment
Barney 15 | 1,476  
24 Jun 2008 /  #55
We are all in agreement about the war.
It's her posting not him
dtaylor 9 | 823  
24 Jun 2008 /  #56
It's her posting not him

Should a wife feel the same as her husband?
Barney 15 | 1,476  
24 Jun 2008 /  #57
no or yes depends on the wife
dtaylor 9 | 823  
24 Jun 2008 /  #58
yes, depends on the person.
SeanBM 35 | 5,808  
24 Jun 2008 /  #59
I do believe that JustysiaS has a personal problem and I really am asking to what appear to me to be obvious questions.
shewolf 5 | 1,077  
24 Jun 2008 /  #60
I don't know if anyone has already asked this question. I haven't read everything. Do you have support groups in your area for military wives or fiances? Here in the U.S. military wives and families get together, spend time together, go out, talk about their feelings. I'm sure it won't make things easy but it's probably good to have friends who understand what you're feeling.

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