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IS MY BOYFRIEND CHEATING? I went to Poland with him.


Blingin 5 | 52  
26 Dec 2007 /  #1
hey guys remember me. yes, the one who didnt listen to your advice. well now im paying for it. i made up a fake profile online and i sent him messages, and i asked him if he was single. he replied "yes im single". then he sent her a comment saying "beautiful eyes" twice. i sent him back a message asking why this girl (me) has sent you messages saying she loves you. he said "yes im sure im single, shes just a friend". i sent him back saying do you want to meet, he said "jan 3rd between 8am -5pm.

i was of course crying, how could he do this to me. he lied saying he was in the shower when in fact he was speaking to the girl i made up.

he doesnt know i know. hes away at the moment and will be back sunday, tell me, what should i do. how do i handle this? i want payback, i want revenge, but yet i want to know why, im not ugly, i love him, ive never cheated on him, i wanted to marry and breed with him one day. so why did he turn out to cheat on me?
Bubbles 1 | 120  
26 Dec 2007 /  #2
As bad as it hurts................ you need to just end it. It will save you a lot of pain in the future. Don't be evil and get revenge, be the bigger and better person. You will be glad you did in the future. Take your shattered heart and start the healing process. Just let him go. I am really sorry for you. I am. I know how bad this pain is...

If he is willing to start a new relationship with someone he hasn't even met then what is he willing to do in the future.

I am so sorry Blingin!!!

I hope you find happiness in the future.
z_darius 14 | 3,968  
26 Dec 2007 /  #3
tell me, what should i do.

Tricky situation. It is conceivable he might have a way of wiggling himself out of this and fooling you by provoding a logical explanation.

If you still have a revenge in mind then this is what I'd do:

Borrow a "boyfriend" for one day. Get a drop-dead hansome one (I can't help cuz I'm only mildly handsome and far away). On "jan 3rd between 8am -5pm" go and meet your cheater fella. Make sure your borrowed boyfriend is with you.

Disclaimer: this will likely mean a point of no return, so think twice before you do what I suggest. The choice is yours, as are all possible complications in your personal life.
marek s - | 269  
26 Dec 2007 /  #4
walk away.
Mufasa 19 | 358  
26 Dec 2007 /  #5
Get a drop-dead hansome one (I can't help cuz I'm only mildly handsome and far away). On "jan 3rd between 8am -5pm" go and meet your cheater fella. Make sure your borrowed boyfriend is with you.

... and that he (borrowed boyfriend of course) kisses you so hard (in front of current boyfriend) that you gasp for breath ;P Then tell him 'that you know', make the clean break and be happy in yourself first - with who YOU are. If you are happy in yourself, you will radiate that - and it will attract someone special to you - someone who might be worthy of you and your love ;)

Good luck

The same disclaimer goes for me as for my modest friend Darek ;)
Grzegorz_ 51 | 6,163  
26 Dec 2007 /  #6
i want payback

You want him to make up a guy ?
plk123 8 | 4,150  
26 Dec 2007 /  #7
yeah just forget about it but if you feel the need then make a definite date through your other personality and then show up and make a scene.. :D
Bubbles 1 | 120  
26 Dec 2007 /  #8
yeah just forget about it

She will be happier in the future if she is the bigger person and doesn't seek revenge.
starchild 2 | 120  
26 Dec 2007 /  #9
You are right Bubbles (nice to see you back on PF by the way!!)

But she must be really hurting and its so easy to say just walk away but its soooo hard to do. Some people can be so cruel... I was going to say some men can be so cruel but then I thought, there's just as many women out there who break men's hearts!
Goonie 8 | 242  
26 Dec 2007 /  #10
breed with him one day

id run too if i heard that :)

he's not a one lady man, you need to move on... plenty of other good guys around if you give em a chance... good luck
Bubbles 1 | 120  
26 Dec 2007 /  #11
(nice to see you back on PF by the way!!)

Good to be back!!

She has got to be dying. But things ALWAYS get better, sometimes it is amazing what comes out of something like this...
Lady in red  
26 Dec 2007 /  #12
The point to bear in mind is how you will feel if you do take out some revenge on him ? Will it really make you feel beter ? Or will it just add to your misery ?
OP Blingin 5 | 52  
26 Dec 2007 /  #13
he might have a way of wiggling himself out of this

how? hes been cought red handed. i think hes possibly slept with someone then. i have to get myself checked out.
Bubbles 1 | 120  
26 Dec 2007 /  #14
how? hes been cought red handed

They always have a way.......

You will be ok girl. I promise.
z_darius 14 | 3,968  
26 Dec 2007 /  #15
how? hes been cought red handed.

From what I see, you are taking it very hard, so without going into details, it's all in the mix of psychology and semantics. Been there, done that.

Believe me, because you are so shaken, and obviously devastated, you are a good material to believe a lot of what he might say to salvage the situation (if he so wishes).

Even though I gave you an idea for a revenge, honestly, I would follow the advice of others. Just walk away. Don't check anything further. The guy is still in his adventure phase, and you may just be one of his short stops. I'm sorry for being so blunt but that's how I see it. It will be tough for a week or a couple months. It isually is for the better though. Been there, done that too.

Good luck.
shewolf 5 | 1,077  
26 Dec 2007 /  #16
It sounds like Blingin is dealing with too much pain and anger to just walk away. It will only stay inside if she doesn't say anything. These two people have been together for one year. That's a long time. He hasn't officially broken up with her so in a way he's leading her on by acting like they're still together when he's telling someone else that they're not. She definitely does deserve an explanation. I think she should confront him so that they can get it out in the open.
OP Blingin 5 | 52  
26 Dec 2007 /  #17
The guy is still in his adventure phase, and you may just be one of his short stops.

weve been together 1 yr. weve met eachothers parents, ive gone poland and stayed with them for a week. how could he throw it all away? i used to think he would never cheat, i am such a big fool to believe this 21yr old is ready for a commited relationship. im 19yrs and im ready. i gave him so many chances to leave and sow wild oats, but he insisted i am meant for him and wed be together and last.

even worse, i have to pretend i dont know anything and speak nice, and when he comes back i have to hug and kiss him. or the plan wont work
Bubbles 1 | 120  
26 Dec 2007 /  #18
I think she should confront him so that they can get it out in the open.

I agreee, she has to confront him... however there is a difference between a confontation and a good bye, then revenge. Every relationship has to have some closure or it will haunt her for ever.
southern 75 | 7,096  
26 Dec 2007 /  #19
i made up a fake profile online and i sent him messages,

A very dirty trick women use.Guys keep your eyes open.
Vincent 9 | 810   Moderator
26 Dec 2007 /  #20
If he has been lying to you, and setting up a date, with, who he thinks is another woman, then its time to face up to the truth, that he's not for you. Confront him about it , then tell him to sling his hook.
southern 75 | 7,096  
26 Dec 2007 /  #21
You missed the point.She is looking for revenge.
marek s - | 269  
26 Dec 2007 /  #22
how could he throw it all away?

better now than later

this 21yr old is ready for a commited relationship.

guys this age are not ready to settle down and the ones that do act up in their later 20s

i gave him so many chances to leave and sow wild oats, but he insisted i am meant for him and wed be together and last.

he has you as his full timer and likes some part timers.
southern 75 | 7,096  
26 Dec 2007 /  #23
I suggest to find another polish guy.
Vincent 9 | 810   Moderator
26 Dec 2007 /  #24
You missed the point.She is looking for revenge.

she is only 19...her heart is going to be broken a few more times, before she meets mr right..that's life
shewolf 5 | 1,077  
26 Dec 2007 /  #25
You missed the point.She is looking for revenge.

...and we're telling her that revenge is not the answer. The only thing that really works is to be honest.
Frank 23 | 1,183  
26 Dec 2007 /  #26
Gee....so Blinkin is into entrapment...a typical and underhand technique applied by the inane and insecure....

So he wants to play the field.......he's 21...for gods sake, you're 19....children in real world terms....

Sure set up the date.......send a friend he doesnt know along.......then you show up, with a smile and 3 bottles of champagne......threesomes can be fun you know...:)
southern 75 | 7,096  
26 Dec 2007 /  #27
She has already decided to leave him and now she thinks how to take revenge before breaking the realationship.
I agree about entrapment.It is embarassing to be forced to think like a detective while in a relationship.
BubbaWoo 33 | 3,510  
26 Dec 2007 /  #28
shag his best friend
shewolf 5 | 1,077  
26 Dec 2007 /  #29
Gee....so Blinkin is into entrapment...a typical and underhand technique applied by the inane and insecure....

...but at least it gave her proof since he wasn't big enough to be honest with her. Now she's scared that she got a disease from him. It's not just a game.
Bubbles 1 | 120  
26 Dec 2007 /  #30
shag his best friend

OUCH!!

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