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What's God's answer TO my gf, after cheating on me after 4 years?


GranPartita 1 | 11  
11 Aug 2008 /  #1
The scope of this discussion is as follows:

I have been with my Polish girlfriend for 4 years. I had always sucpected that she may have been cheating on me. After 4 years, she finally came out and admitted that she's been releasing all her inner most feelings to other men (3 others to be exact, altought it could be more).

Looking at her, you'd never believed she'd cheat. Regardless, I believe I was an excellent boyfriend for her, perhaps a little too good. She had much problems with her abusive mom and always asked me to give her a helping hand. Acted very much like her personal chauffeur, gave her cash when she needed it, took her on trips overseas, completely restored her father's resting place with flowers and the list goes on and on, however, she ruined a great relationship. However, before you ask for her side, I assure to you that everyone has goods and bad, yet my good points certainly outweight my shortcomings. By the way, she is a heavy internet users. She'll most likely reply something sooner or later within this forum.

Although there is never going to be a recourse that I'll get back with her (once a cheater, always a cheater); what do you all think God's answer is to this girl?

sausage 19 | 777  
11 Aug 2008 /  #2
she's been releasing all her inner most feelings to other men

Confiding in them, not cheating in any other way?
OP GranPartita 1 | 11  
11 Aug 2008 /  #3
Confiding in them, possible insulting me with them. Going to movies, coffe shops, going on dates. Hopefuly she didnt go as far as sleeping with them (although she does seem to have slept next to them). She had told me initially she would consider dating 4-5 guys at once just to pick the best one out.

Honestly, from what I understand, I was such a great bf for her, that she did not realize what she had.

Yet, on top of that, she had an extremely great father herself; which pretty much leads me to believe that she has the idea that every man out there is GREAT, hence she took me for granted. Yet luck was more on her side, seeing how many men out there cheat on their partners.
sausage 19 | 777  
11 Aug 2008 /  #4
Confiding in them, possible insulting me with them

Thanks for the clarification.
ragga - | 10  
11 Aug 2008 /  #5
to be honest, I would have thought that she is sleeping around. Once the trust has totally diminished and you lose your confidence in her then it's dead

I'm really sorry man.

I sometimes suspect that my girlfriend, who is also Polish may be having second thoughts. She recently moved to England and we live together. We argue quite often yet the passion is still there. I don't think she's cheating but I often get the feeling she isn't completely honest with me..

I saw something she was saying to her friend online and i saw Danem - my name is Dan - so i asked what it said.. she replied ummm errr ahh umm... so i copied the sentence and then told her it doesnt matter...

could someone translate this for me:

"ja nie umiem byc do konca soba w zwiazku z Danem"

I tihnk it's something like "I am not totally myself with Dan"... but i could be wrong.

ps sorry to hi-jack the thread, the thought just occurred to me
OP GranPartita 1 | 11  
11 Aug 2008 /  #6
God gives you a gift; What you do with it is your gift back to God.

So I dont see how she offered God a gift by cheating on me?
ragga - | 10  
11 Aug 2008 /  #7
I fail to see any relevance to your problem and God?
OP GranPartita 1 | 11  
11 Aug 2008 /  #8
Thats more or less how I figured her out.

There had been "phone numbers" that had texted her certain sweet messages on her phone. When I asked who it is, she simply said it was a wrong number. After some McDonald's paranorma tea which makes you just suddenly burst out the truth...well she burst out all the truth.

Are you familar with the term; God's greatest blessing is a wonderful husband/wife?

It surely seems that God had blessed both her and I. Thus, a gift from God.

But when you abuse such a gift and then cheat with it; what would God think of it?
ragga - | 10  
11 Aug 2008 /  #9
I would stop comparing and trying to make sense of things.. but just accept that 'sh*t happens'.

I'm really sorry and these things happen to the best of us. Life is not fair but if you want to meet the girl that is right for you then it is you that has to do it. Don't rely on anything else :)

Ps can anyone translate my text?
HelenaWojtczak 28 | 177  
11 Aug 2008 /  #10
I'm sure God is far too busy to worry about one relationship between one couple.
ragga - | 10  
11 Aug 2008 /  #11
He must be stuck on that end level on Elder Scrolls! it kept me occupied for a long time!

Dude - there are plenty of fish in the sea and you need to find someone that shares your strong faith. it appears to me that you have a close bond with God. find someone that shares this
OP GranPartita 1 | 11  
11 Aug 2008 /  #12
Indeed, good to hear some words of wisdom and encouragement.

Dziekuje


z_darius 14 | 3,968  
11 Aug 2008 /  #13
she ruined a great relationship.

I'm sorry to point this put but apparently the relationship wasn't so great.

We all know that there ain't that many men or women out there.

roughly 3 billion.

God gives you a gift; What you do with it is your gift back to God.

if you refer to THAT god, then he's known to play tricks on people. Some of those are pretty dirty tricks too. God giveth, god taketh away.
OP GranPartita 1 | 11  
11 Aug 2008 /  #14
if you refer to THAT god, then he's known to play tricks on people. Some of those are pretty dirty tricks too. God giveth, god taketh away.

He taketh because she cheats and abuses.
krysia 23 | 3,057  
11 Aug 2008 /  #15
4 years is a long time to be with someone and you think you would know everything about that person, yet you don't. Then when you break up all those memories you had together come back, or depending on the circumstances, they get forgotten right away.

I say you forget about her, she didn't appreciate what she has, she likes the company of male friends and that's not what you want. She cannot be trusted, she's fishing around. She felt safe and comfortable with you but was looking for fun in other guys.

Forget about her, the sooner the better. Use your energy for other things in life, give yourself more attention, think positive and you will attract the same.
polishgirltx  
11 Aug 2008 /  #16
God is not helping you much in your life , huh? A couple of my good friends is screwing up their relationship more and more and their explanation is God's will... what a crap... you are responsible for your actions, not God... if you don't wanna waste your life with her, just walk away... it doesn't look good anyway from how you describe your past with her...

good luck...
z_darius 14 | 3,968  
11 Aug 2008 /  #17
He taketh because she cheats and abuses.

That would imply that you consider yourself the gift. Some gods don't like that line of thinking and consider it arrogant.

Regardless, for your own sake, try not to waste any more time on that.
osiol 55 | 3,922  
11 Aug 2008 /  #18
GranPartita:
We all know that there ain't that many men or women out there.

roughly 3 billion.

There is a song that goes:

When I was just a baby, my mother said to me:
There's only one girl in the world for you,
And she probably lives in Tahiti.


It is not a Tahitian song.

God will give you the answer when God joins Polish Forums - Dot Com. I can't see that happening in the near future, although he does make an appearance in Polish Forums - The Opera.
Sophia - | 99  
11 Aug 2008 /  #19
Free will and all that... have you asked God? Go for it! Maybe you can get the priest to ask with you?

Honestly you say 'cheating' in the title... but then say she didn't (possibly..maybe..) sleep with any of these men.. Confiding in them...sounds like friendship to me. Are all her friends required to have no penis? Clarify for me...she cheated/didn't/you don't know ?
krysia 23 | 3,057  
11 Aug 2008 /  #20
you are responsible for your actions, not God...

Totally agree.
And it's how you react to a situation that makes a difference.
ragga - | 10  
11 Aug 2008 /  #21
Cmon Sofia.. have you not seen where he says that she was receiving 'sweet messages' and she was lying about it.. does that sound like someone with a clear conscience? Don't be naiive :) This girl is not worth it
OP GranPartita 1 | 11  
11 Aug 2008 /  #22
Clarify for me...she cheated/didn't/you don't know ?

Cheating does not necessarily have to mean sleeping together. When you start to confide with other men, you develop a strong friendship and from thereon, you begin to do things together. Up to the point where you do end up sleeping with them {then you get married, then he cheats on you because obviously you cheated on somebody else to get with him; so he already knows the trust isnt there. Then you become 70 years old and live alone and complain day and night for the same actions you once did}.

Oh yes, did I mention that my x-gf constantly tells me "I'm the most loyal girl you'll ever meet; just ask any of my friends. They'll all tell you its true!"

It's very hard not to have a negative impact. She was Polish, and if it was not for some great Polish men and women of the 19th century and earlier (CHOPIN, Coppernicus, Maria SkÅ‚odowska–Curie...), then I wouldnt think much of her place.

God Bless all you great Polish artists, scientists, folks out there who made this culture so great. And shame on you people who take your culture's name in vein and try and upset its reputation.
Sophia - | 99  
11 Aug 2008 /  #23
When you start to confide with other men, you develop a strong friendship and from thereon, you begin to do things together

I don't sleep with my male friends. I do confide in them. I have no plans to sleep with them in the future. Has she admitted to anything more than friendship? I know cheating incorporates more than intercourse sometimes but I don't think friendship falls under it.

Cmon Sofia.. have you not seen where he says that she was receiving 'sweet messages' and she was lying about it.. does that sound like someone with a clear conscience? Don't be naiive :)

Maybe I am being naive. I don't know this woman, maybe she is a wh*re. From the sound of it, she isn't allowed to have male friends so I could understand why she would lie about that.

It is rather vague.
ragga - | 10  
11 Aug 2008 /  #24
Oh yes, did I mention that my x-gf constantly tells me "I'm the most loyal girl you'll ever meet; just ask any of my friends. They'll all tell you its true!"

Pardon the expression.. and all the female forummers will begrudge me saying this..

Snakes with Tits!

And being heavily into faith, im guessing you believe in Adam & Eve.. so should make some sense

[dont delete this! or just change tits to breats ;)]
OP GranPartita 1 | 11  
11 Aug 2008 /  #25
No she is not a w**** first of all.

She has simply gone fishing into the male sea. Funny though when I want to talk to any girls, she'll cut my ghraum off. (as Borat says)
polishgirltx  
11 Aug 2008 /  #26
Cheating does not necessarily have to mean sleeping together.

no it doesn't

but

When you start to confide with other men, you develop a strong friendship and from thereon, you begin to do things together. Up to the point where you do end up sleeping with them

well, i have a few male friends and we are only friends...and it's gonna stay that way...

you are being selfish by not allowing your gf has friends other then females... what does your God think about your selfishness?
OP GranPartita 1 | 11  
11 Aug 2008 /  #27
you are being selfish by not allowing your gf has friends other then female... what does your God think about your selfishness?

This is a very intersesting observation you have made. I'd like to thank you for pointing it out.

Conversely, I am not against my girlfriend having male friends. But I am against having them have male friends that are kept secretive behind my back. How would you like it if your man went on these so called "business trips", but forgets his phone at your house and you find a bunch of contacts with only initials in them.

Ex.

Melissa B.
John K.
F M.
I T
K L.
Sears headoffice
Boss
Pharmacy
Taxi
J F.
M K.
L Lesterson
Sah Ra
Jes C.

If you see such a contact listing in your husband's phone, you'll be completely fine with it? By the way, this is how my x-gf's contact is.

Also, if there is nothing to hide, why would you refrain from introducing your friends to your soulmate?
Zgubiony 15 | 1,554  
11 Aug 2008 /  #28
wow, I've never looked at my girlfriends contact list once.... Perhaps she's done right by not telling you anything...look how sneaky you are.
polishgirltx  
11 Aug 2008 /  #29
If you see such a contact listing in your husband's phone, you'll be completely fine with it? By the way, this is how my x-gf's contact is.

Also, if there is nothing to hide, why would you refrain from introducing your friends to your soulmate?

sorry, but i respect people's privacy and expect the same in return ...
ragga - | 10  
11 Aug 2008 /  #30
GranParita.. dont listen to them. You would neglect your love for her if you had an inner feeling of what was happened and decided to put it to the back of your mind.

You know when you know. It doesn't take a master detective. These things happen and it's terrible when it does. Dont curse and try to find reasons, just forget and move on. Is she begging you to take her back?

If she is receiving sexy texts from 'boss' or 'taxi' then 100% sure she is not to be trusted.

Everyone else can get off their high judgemental horse and stop thinking they are better than GranParita. They have obviously not been in the same situation before. I deeply hope they never are as well.

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