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IS MY BOYFRIEND CHEATING? I went to Poland with him.


starchild 2 | 120  
26 Dec 2007 /  #31
when he comes back i have to hug and kiss him. or the plan wont work

I wouldn't stoop to his level by getting involved in deception and lies. I think you should rise above it and walk away.
southern 75 | 7,096  
26 Dec 2007 /  #32
Now she's scared that she got a disease from him.

This is a new way of diagnosis.
z_darius 14 | 3,968  
26 Dec 2007 /  #33
she is only 19...her heart is going to be broken a few more times

Not optimistic but very wise words.
plk123 8 | 4,150  
26 Dec 2007 /  #34
even worse, i have to pretend i dont know anything and speak nice, and when he comes back i have to hug and kiss him. or the plan wont work

what plan is this? revenge? Don't waste your time and energy on that.. work on healing your feelings instead.
Bubbles 1 | 120  
26 Dec 2007 /  #35
she is only 19...her heart is going to be broken a few more times

Sad but very true.

Don't waste your time and energy on that.. work on healing your feelings instead

Well said!!
OP Blingin 5 | 52  
26 Dec 2007 /  #36
find another polish guy.

not after this. im put of them, completely. all his friends have cheated on their girlfriends, he lives with his friends so he has bad influences, i told him they were but he didnt listen. my heart is broken . but i have to move on. its now or never. yes i am afraid he will beg for forgiveness and plead i should take him back, but i deserve to be with a one woman man. hes gonna call me soon, and i have to pretend like everythings cool and sweet. im not looking forward to my heart being broken a couple more times though
PinkJewel  
26 Dec 2007 /  #37
she is only 19...her heart is going to be broken a few more times, before she meets mr right..that's life

I'll be the optimist around and say that it's not set in stone you'll have your heart broken many more times. My friend met her husband at 20 and ten years later they're still together and probably happier than then.

If it does happened again though, you have to learn from it (just like you do this time). Like are you being attracted to a certain kind of guy.
plk123 8 | 4,150  
26 Dec 2007 /  #38
just tell him to eff off, NOW.. don't put yourself through more crap.
OP Blingin 5 | 52  
26 Dec 2007 /  #39
great, the single life
starchild 2 | 120  
26 Dec 2007 /  #40
Hmmmm... its not great either way. Can't live with em, can't kill em!

You will be ok though, even though it doesn't feel that way right now :-)
Bubbles 1 | 120  
26 Dec 2007 /  #41
great, the single life

Oh girl I am sorry.

It will get better. You do deserve a one woman man. Heal from this and then go find him.
plk123 8 | 4,150  
26 Dec 2007 /  #42
great, the single life

it is what you make of it. :) have a ball!!!
lonely 2 | 97  
26 Dec 2007 /  #43
what a **** he is. walk away now with dignity and remember you are worth more.
OP Blingin 5 | 52  
26 Dec 2007 /  #44
i confronted him. he said he did it as a joke. he said because he wanted to flirt, and she wouldnt flirt if she knew he was in a relationship. he sais hes sorry. he told his parents and sister. i said i dont want to be with him, he sais hes not coming back from Poland, and is going to stay there. so what should i do.
plk123 8 | 4,150  
26 Dec 2007 /  #45
It is conceivable he might have a way of wiggling himself out of this and fooling you by provoding a logical explanation.

doesn't sound all too logical too me. so, you just found out he is scum.. now your conscousness should be clear. go out and have fun and meet the real pole in shining armour. :D :D
Bubbles 1 | 120  
26 Dec 2007 /  #46
so what should i do.

Have yourself a really good cry!! Be sick for a few days, feel like you are going to die, get a really good pillow to burry yourself in and let it all out. But know in time you will be ok, in fact you will be better off.

He lied, he lied, he lied and he got caught, don't let him lie his way out of this. I am sorry.
marek s - | 269  
26 Dec 2007 /  #47
so what should i do.

go chase him and profess your love for him also.
southern 75 | 7,096  
26 Dec 2007 /  #48
Do another test to him.Tell your friend to flirt with him and catch them in bed.
plk123 8 | 4,150  
26 Dec 2007 /  #49
go chase him and profess your love for him also.

go to PL and find him? ;) :D
Bubbles 1 | 120  
26 Dec 2007 /  #50
You guys are being mean!! Her heart is absolutely shattered!!!
Wroclaw 44 | 5,386  
26 Dec 2007 /  #51
i confronted him.

You shouldn't have done. But there again you shouldn't have tried to trick him.

I'll bet that because you know him you sent him messages to test his weaknesses, not his strengths. You were probably leading him on.

You were playing a dangerous game. How do you know that he wasn't doing the same?
Do you know if he would have ever met the other girl [you]. Or was it part of his game , to pretend ? You should have waited to find out.

As I understand it... you are in the UK and he is in Poland. Yes / No ?

If he has mates and work near you then he will probably be back, but I doubt he'll be running into your outstretched arms.

If you want him back. Wait until he returns to the UK and go and speak to him. If he doesn't come back then you'll know it's over between you.

Of course it could have been over some time ago, but you just didn't realize it.
shewolf 5 | 1,077  
26 Dec 2007 /  #52
How do you know that he wasn't doing the same?
Do you know if he would have ever met the other girl [you]. Or was it part of his game , to pretend ? You should have waited to find out.

Was he really just having fun? Why did he make a real date? The point is, he was turning to another woman and lying about it to Blingin. If it was innocent why didn't he tell Blingin about it?
OP Blingin 5 | 52  
26 Dec 2007 /  #53
I doubt he'll be running into your outstretched arms.

hes begging me not to leave him. he told me he was leading her on as a joke, but bit him in the face didnt it. yes hes in poland im in .uk. hell come back. i am now going to play cool and not take things seriously. he will have to do alot more things to get me to even wanna be with him.
_Sofi_  
26 Dec 2007 /  #54
You don't trust this guy - with reason. Can you live with that sort of relationship? I'm 19 too and I know I couldn't. At our age, we have a lot to see yet in relationships and this one I hope you move on from. It is up to you, of course, but think of how much he has hurt you and consider - do you want to give him a chance to do it again to you?

You say that you were ready to settle. Thing is, surely not with someone who can't return the same loyalty. It's good that you see the nice side to settling down. Yet, you are young - have some fun and it might happen for you with someone who can really commit. If settling down is what you honestly want - I think it will be reasonable to you that you might have to wait that bit longer, just to get it right and with the right person. It'll be worth it if you do.

It seems all to come down to trust. Even if you do give him another chance, it doesn't mean you can't learn from it if he wrongs you again. I think that would be more than he deserves, but let your instinct rule that, not people who don't know you or him from Adam. Good luck anyhow!
OP Blingin 5 | 52  
26 Dec 2007 /  #55
learn from it

i am definetly. i am much more stronger and i feel like no one can f*** with me. i mean, i love him, and even if i take him back, theres going to be no more mrs nice/sweet/sensitive/doormat guy

what advice would you give even if i was to take him back?
polishgirltx  
26 Dec 2007 /  #56
Don't play with fire, you'll get your fingers burnt.
And it will hurt even more then it hurts now.
Love disappoints us all the time. I'm sorry it has happened to you, but everybody must experience that feeling.
I'd leave that guy and try to forget about him. It's easy to say, I know that, but it will turn out good... you'll see.

You deserve somebody who will see only you, love only you and, first of all, respect you.
Wroclaw 44 | 5,386  
26 Dec 2007 /  #57
Was he really just having fun?

I have no idea.

Why did he make a real date?

He made a date for some time in January. We will never know if it was real.

he was turning to another woman and lying about it to Blingin.

I can't argue with that.

If it was innocent why didn't he tell Blingin about it?

If it was innocent, why would he have to tell her about it ?
_Sofi_  
26 Dec 2007 /  #58
what advice would you give even if i was to take him back?

To be honest..to have people you love around you in case you will need their support if this happens again. Giving him a second chance is something he could view as a green light to do it again, for he may think 'she'll stay with me even if she finds out about another time' - even if you have told him you won't.

How about keeping him as a friend and see over time if he can earn your trust back? If you really want to give him a second chance, he should be willing equally to prove himself worthy of one. He has hurt you and it sounds like he won't even own up to having done anything to cause you pain by denying it. Please, seriously consider if you could go through it again.

If you stay with him - how do you think you would feel? Would you constantly be looking out for signs he is cheating on you? It doesn't sound like that would be the best relationship. You might love him enough to try - but that should be returned by him. I agree with polishgirltx when she says:

You deserve somebody who will see only you, love only you and, first of all, respect you.

and can you honestly believe him to do that? You are the only one who can weigh it all up with all the possible consequences and figure out what you can handle and what you want.
OP Blingin 5 | 52  
26 Dec 2007 /  #59
If it was innocent, why would he have to tell her about it ?

true, but still no excuse. i am so not in the position to get hurt. i have totally turned off my feelings. or shall i say they have automatically switched off. his antics have made me feel so strong. i feel like nothing will hurt me.

he cant control me now. i know it sounds weird, but i feel like a different women. or is this just a phase, it feels good, i hope its permanent. this way i can have relationships and not get hurt.
Wroclaw 44 | 5,386  
26 Dec 2007 /  #60
hes begging me not to leave him.

If he still cares... find out the truth and nothing more. Don't try revenge or you'll lose him for good.

he told me he was leading her on as a joke,

Have you never flirted. It happens on this site every day.

i am now going to play cool and not take things seriously

Playing cool is good. Some things you need to take seriously.

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